


Exception in Life

by cffn



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Bromance to Romance, Everyday Life, Feels, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Romance, Smut, au but not au, bunch of people making appearances, lovable idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:38:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 105,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5706268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cffn/pseuds/cffn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you put two idiot together what do you get? Meet Cloud, the lovable idiot. Meet Squall, the brooding bastard. Their journey from friendship to romance. With all the usual symptoms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First; I haven't written this in the most orderly fashion so it might be inconsistent at times. I apologize about that. Second, this was a project that took me over 5yrs to finish. I fell out of writing for almost three years and after that I took down the first version from FFNET and wrote it again. If my style at writing seems a bit odd at times, again, I apologize. Just bear with it.
> 
> Also, this was supposed to be a short oneshot but it somehow exploded on me.. I'll just post this first today and continue adding chapters when I have the time.

**Cloud**

“No! You listen to me this time, you arrogant little piece of self-destructive shit! I am NOT going to stand this crap any longer and if you wish to stay here you WILL learn to respect me and my authority! END OF DISCUSSION.” A sound of smashing porcelain, obviously thrown towards someone.

“But.. What the hell do you want me to say? I can't change who I am, now can I? You knew well enough what kind of person I was –still AM!- when you decided to let me stay here in the first place!”

"My fault obviously, wasn't it!" She scoffed and threw her long hair off from her face that was livid with suffocated rage. She drew herself together and stood there in her all might, facing the scowling man before her. "Well.." She took a deep, calming breath. "At least I can admit that to myself. That there is some fault in me, for falling into the depths of your pretty blue eyes." Sneering, Tifa snorted and turned her back at Cloud who was now staring out of the window.

"I'm just saying, you knew exactly what I was even before we started this whole.. thing." Cloud had lowered his tone and was almost whispering.

"I did. But I hoped you would change if I cared enough." She made a terrible effort to keep her anger at bay. "Look, it's over. I tried and you.. well, I don't really know did you -don't interrupt me!- do anything for us, but now it is very clear; we are through."

"Are you saying you're going to kick me out?" There was a hint of fear in Clouds tone and Tifa pondered for one moment seriously before answering.

"No. Out of the house? No. Out of the bedroom? Yes. You can move your stuff. Tonight. I don't care if it takes all night but just do it." Then she stormed off from the room and left Cloud standing there, feeling more lost and abandoned he had felt when the row started. And he knew his face was still emotionless, although he felt a great deal of pain. Cloud sighed and wished he had never been born.

Cloud flipped thru the papers on his night table drawers, idly scanning them. Bills, never finished contracts, some doodles left by Denzel and Marlene.. The blond sighed and let the papers fall from his hands to the floor and hung his head. He would never admit it to any living soul, but he did miss the sound of the children.

Although he had not been around much, the kids seemed to have taken a liking in him and trusted him to put things right. To put things right, huh..

Ever since he had left the army –ran away more likely- he had been wandering aimlessly around. After meeting a certain group of people Cloud had tried harder to stay focused on the life around them and not dwelling into the darkness inside him.

They had moved in together with Tifa. A big mistake. Cloud could never tell her without pissing her off, how much it had suffocated him. Thus, he had fled. The easiest way to survive in a situation like this and in the end, forcing Tifa to be the one to suffer more than Cloud had. She had been the one to end this. Cloud knew it was for the best, but it still hurt.

A soft creaking of the floor board woke Cloud from his misery and he turned around to see who was entering his privacy.

“Why the long face, Spiky?” A wide smile and a flash of flaming red hair. Cloud sighed again and knelt on the floor to pick up his papers and stuffing them into a box.

“What do you want, Reno?”

“Whoa, no need to be polite or anything, I just came to check up on you. You know half the street heard your little argument with the missus…” Reno grinned even more widely.

“Yeah, so what.” Cloud didn’t really care if the whole fucking world had heard.

“Well….. I just thought to come by and cheer up my precious little neighbour.” The redhead flopped on the bed and stared at Cloud’s back, his cat like eyes following him. “Did she break up with you for real this time? I mean, you do look like you’re trying to get all your stuff together here and since the stuff is obviously going into boxes….” He left the question hanging in the air.

“Yeah. She did.”

“Good for her. You know it took a bit longer than I anticipated. Tifa has more patience than it seems.” Cloud remained silent and kept packing up. “You know, Spiky.. I think I’m gonna take you out. Tonight. Right now.” Reno hopped back on his feet and yawned. Cloud turned to face him.

“Why?” He had no intention to get out of here. He just wanted to pack up and go to the empty room to sulk the rest of his miserable life. Reno blinked at him, the green eyes confused for a second.

“Why? Well.. You are the friend in need and that’s what people do when they get dumped! Let’s get pissed and see if we can get you some action to wipe the hurt and misery from your mind.” Reno made a rude hand gesture and Cloud felt his ears burning. 

“I’m not-"

  
“Oh shut up, you stupid.” Reno’s hand was gripping Cloud’s arm tightly. “You’ll come or you’ll cry and come.” Then he smiled at Cloud and patted the blonds head tenderly. “Now, let’s get this shit cleared and head out for some fun!”

**Few hours later**

The night was warm and the streets silent as Reno dragged his unwilling companion towards his favourite club in down town. Cloud felt almost like a petulant child but went along anyway. He didn’t like this part of the town and wasn’t familiar with the blinking neon lights ahead. It looked like it was already crowded.

“Yo, Rude! Anyone I know still in?” Reno waved at the bald man who was doing his job as the security guy at the club door. Cloud didn’t hear what Rude said but it made Reno grin happily and to drag Cloud further in to the noise and suffocating air. Cloud felt himself being hauled thru the mass of moving bodies and wanted to yank his hand free. He was about to do that when the air became clearer and he was able to breathe again.

“Haha, it’s always so hard to push thru there, but we’re familiar with nasty crowds aren’t we, blondie.” Reno winked at Cloud who stood there stupefied and tried to digest his surroundings. The lights flashed and blinked, people yelled over the pumping music and the throb of the bass thudded thru Cloud’s body with every beat so hard his breathing seemed to stop.

Unable to say anything, Cloud simply sat down to a couch he spotted nearby without paying attention to Reno. Too bad he seemed to have sat on something that made a low, yet very audible growl close to his ear.

“Do you mind? I am not a chair.” Cloud sprang up and saw that it wasn’t a couch who spoke but a young man, perhaps a little older than he was, with long dark hair and.. Was that fur around the neck? Cloud could only stare. Reno on the other hand didn’t just stare, he burst out laughing.

“Ahahah! Oh man, dude.. You should see your face!” With a grin so wide it went from one ear to the other Reno sat down and pointed at Cloud.

“Leon, I want you to meet Cloud. Cloud, this is your couch; Leon.”

“...” Cloud was again speechless. He simply nodded and sat down, making sure there was no one under this time. The dark haired man called Leon sat down as well, looking bored and ignorant. Cloud turned to Reno. “If this is supposed to make me feel better, you thought wrong.” Reno waved his hand and shook his head.

“No no, my dear blondie. You got it all wrong! All we need is some alcohol and good little, wiggling, not too covered up ass to cheer the night.” He winked and grinned. “So, I’ll just go and fetch drinks and you can figure what sort of ass you’d like to have dancing on your lap tonight.” Laughing at the expression of pure disgust on Clouds face, Reno took off and disappeared into the crowd.

“I hope he wasn’t serious about that..” Cloud murmured to himself. He should escape right now, when he still had the chance. Cloud was already starting to rise from the couch when he saw Leon looking at him. “What?”

“If you leave now, he will just make a scene, call the police –or his thug friends- and run after you crying like a little girl.” Leon had a low, pleasant voice and even in the noisy club it wasn’t hard to hear what he said. Cloud sighed and settled down, shaking his head and running a hand thru his spikes.

“I don’t particularly wish getting drunk or having girls undressing on my lap..”

“Who says it’s a girl.” Leon almost spat and Cloud realized that it was not a question at all. “Maybe he hired me to be your stripper and the stress reliever for the night.” Leon’s face was steady and there was nothing that would suggest him not being serious. Cloud could only stare.

“Please.. Tell me you are joking.” Cloud coughed, frozen in the middle of massaging his face tiredly. The silence was more awkward than ever in his life as Cloud stared into Leon’s eyes thru his fingers, thinking this day had definitely been his awful so far and it was about to go even worse.

“I am. Calm down, no one is going to climb on your lap.” Leon’s mouth was a thin line and he had folded his arms to his chest.

“Not very funny. I would rather die than let a guy shake their ass at my face.” Cloud let his hand fall from his face and unconsciously mimicked Leon’s position and sat there in silence, watching the passing people with mounting dislike until Reno reappeared with an armful of drinks. Cloud groaned inwardly. He had never been good with alcohol.

“Oh my god, guys you should see yourself!” Reno grinned at the pair sitting next to each other. Reno sat opposite them and pointed at the glasses. “Please stop looking like you’re twins and have a beer.” Reno lifted his and waited until the two other had done the same. “To the end of unhealthy relationships!” He gulped half his beer down and belched.

Cloud drank slowly a mouthful, his mind on other matters. He was too distracted to feel anything and kept staring down to his lap. He heard Leon speaking to Reno next to him. 

“Why unhealthy?” Cloud could hear the leather pants creaking as the brunet moved on the plastic surface to lean his elbows on his knees.

“Well, Cloud here just got kicked out of the bedroom by the missus.” Reno’s smile was nothing even close to empathy. “Honestly, he’s been begging her to do so. Always off from home, hiding in the countryside where no one can reach him and when coming home not even touching her... That’s Cloud for you, man!” Raising his glass again Reno drained it empty. Cloud’s ears were burning slightly. He could feel Leon staring at him.

“What?” He snarled finally and turned to face the brunet man.

“Nothing. Just reminded me of something.” Leon scoffed and turned his face away.

“Oh yeah, I forgot that you’re an ass too when it comes to dealing with girls. Or anyone actually.” Reno leaned to the back of his chair, one leg over the other and looked satisfied. “I think you two make a lovely duo. Maybe you guys are just gay ‘cuz you can’t make a girl happy.” He snickered.

“Sometimes I don’t even know why you bother to call yourself my friend.” Cloud growled, his eyes narrowing. To claim something like that was a bit too much, even for Reno.

“Would it matter much if I were gay Reno?” Cloud snapped his eyes to Leon who had spoken. How could the man be so calm all the time, even when accused to be a fag? Reno was watching Leon with interest.

“It wouldn’t really. I don’t care who you shag. Just stop moping and steal a kiss from someone you fancy. Maybe the world isn’t going to end if you get happy!” Reno looked straight at Leon and for once wasn’t smiling.

Cloud was only halfheartedly following the conversation. He felt a sudden movement next to him as Leon changed his position but didn’t pay too much attention to it. Only when a pair of hands grabbed his shirt and forced him to turn did he realize he was staring straight into Leon’s eyes. Cloud couldn’t react in time to prevent the next move.

Leon kissed Cloud softly right his on lips.

Cloud was stunned. He couldn’t do anything. He barely heard Reno bursting into laughter and jumping up from his chair to do a weird sort of dance around Cloud and Leon, who still was holding his lips against Cloud’s.

Something hot started to boil in Cloud’s stomach. It made him want to jump up and run. Run faster he had run ever in his life. And on the other hand, he wanted to do something with this man, something he had only done with women before. The idea shocked Cloud to his core and he jerked his head free from the pressing lips.

“You.. What.. Why.. Fuck!” Cloud retreated when he felt Leon’s hands loosen their hold. The man was looking at him with a queer look on his serious face. Maybe it was something in his eyes that flashed dark gray in these disco lights, maybe it was the hint of arrogance on the handsome features that made Cloud fire up completely and he acted on his instinct; He punched Leon straight to his face, knocking the brunet off the couch.

“CLOUD!” Reno shouted and the people around them yelling something about a fight breaking out and then Cloud felt his own nose nearly break from the blow it received from Leon who had bolted up from the floor.

Cloud had fallen on his back and was seeing stars for a while. Then a hand grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. Cloud blinked, shook his head and looked up to see Leon standing there with a peculiar expression on his face. But before either of them could speak a rough hand was grabbing Cloud’s neck from behind and he felt himself being hauled thru the crowd that had gathered to watch him and Leon fight.

Cloud soon found himself outside of the bar, Leon being thrown out next to him. Cloud turned just in time to see Rude and his co-worker shaking their heads and disappearing back inside. He snorted and straightened his clothes.

“Hey, Cloud?” He could hear Leon much better now without the noise around them and noticed he liked the man’s voice even more. Cloud turned to see Leon better, rubbing his aching nose gingerly. It seemed to be bleeding too.

“Yeah?” Cloud managed to growl almost anticipating a second blow. Leon didn’t look too good too either. There was blood trickling from his lower lip and it was swelling rapidly.

“You’re ok.” A smile radiated suddenly Leon’s face. Cloud could see now the man had blue eyes like he had, only a paler shade than his. The dark brown hair framed the handsome face and the clothes Leon wore clung definitely on all the right places. His mouth was unwillingly starting to water slightly. Cloud coughed and shooed the unwanted images from his mind.

“Yeah?” He repeated feeling flustered. “I guess you’re ok too, Leon. Nice punching.” Cloud saw Leon’s smile turning to a grin.

“Please, call me Squall. Leon is just an old alias from few years back and Reno uses it just to annoy me.” Squall smiled. “We should exchange numbers. I might want to call you sometime.” Cloud frowned, suspicion lifting its head inside him. He didn’t really want more sexual harassment. “Oh, don’t worry. I won’t go kissing you again. Unless you demand it.” Squall ran away from Cloud grinning who was reaching out to punch the brunet again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Squall**

Squall stared at the roof of his room, lying on his bed, waking up slowly. Last night had been somewhat interesting. He had received a phone call from Reno in the afternoon to meet the redhead at some club on the other side of the town.

_"Hey Leon! Get your arse over here and help me to move this bloody thing!" The brunet had just stepped into the brightly lit club, still not open for customers and saw Reno trying to move one of the biggest amplifiers alone.  
_

_"You shouldn't try to lift anything this heavy since you're such a girl." Reno shot a murderous glare at his friend._

_"Oh shut the f-! Goddamn this is heavy!" The redhead tried to balance the huge block of machinery with a little success. Squall took pity on him finally and easily lifted the amp from the floor and Reno's trembling hands. The exhausted man shot yet another killer-glare at the others effortless lifting. "Show-off..."_

_"Yeah yeah, shut up. Where do you want this?"_

_"Over there, near the stand at the edge of the dance floor." Reno pointed at the DJ's booth where he made his way too, climbing on the stand to fiddle with all the wires and machines. Squall moved the amp to its place and glanced at his friend. The smaller man had that enthusiastic look his pretty, cat-like features again. It was no miracle no one could take Reno seriously with his face as smooth as it was._

_"You still look like you are not more than 15 years old." Reno looked up, down at his stoic-faced companion._

_"And you still look like you could use a good fuck, you stiff old prick." Reno blew an air-kiss at Squall who just raised his brow. "Oh yeah, I'm going to have a friend of mine here tonight. He just had a big, fat fight with his girl and I suppose he needs some cheering up. So, I was wondering would you like to get out with us?” Reno glanced at his friend with a slightly calculating look on his face._

_"Why would I want to?"_

_“Well.. I just have a hunch you too are going to get along really well.” Reno smirked and looked around the club, obviously trying to see if there was anything else for him to do. Squall observed his friend, not sure what the redhead’s motives were._

_"And why would I want to befriend obviously bad mannered loner who fights with his girlfriend? I see no happiness in it for me.”_

_"Hell, I just know, you know?” Reno winked. “Cloud’s such a handsome guy too. I think he just needs a little punch to the right direction. And I think_ you _are the right one to do that.” Squall sighed. Reno was impossible when he got into this mood. It would be very hard to get rid of him and Squall didn’t really have the energy to fight with the redhead now._

_“Fine. I’ll come. Stop pestering me.” And he almost smiled at Reno’s sunny smile directed at him._

Squall stretched and yawned widely in his solitude. He was in a surprisingly good mood; despite the bruises and swollen lip and that he had been thrown unceremoniously out of a bar. It all could’ve ended so much worse.

It had been unexpected to find someone who seemed so similar to himself. Funny, how life went on sometimes and threw brilliant people into your vicinity. It was quite rare for Squall to actually take interest in someone as much as he had done on Cloud in those few moments yesterday. A faint smile appeared on his lips.

He really wanted to meet with Cloud again. Sure, the guy seemed perfectly straight and would probably hit him again if he tried to pull a stunt like the night before. But there was something he just couldn’t let go. Squall didn’t even remember the last time he had had his pulse rising just from thinking about someone. He would have to make sure he and Cloud would at least get on friendly terms before he could decide should he stamp on his flickering feelings of affection or act on them. Squall picked up his phone and started to write a message. Heart slightly pounding with excitement he sent the message and closed his eyes for a moment. Glancing at his clock he remembered with a jolt that he was running late and sat up. He would sustain even more serious injuries if he didn’t get his ass out of the flat right now.

**Later**

A quick flash of silver cut the air, followed by cursing and a wooden thud against the ground. Again the silver went up, something cutting its way in the middle, a loud clank when the two heavily swung objects met in the air.

 ”Com'one boy, hit me with ya best shot!” The wooden end of the spear was lifted from the ground as its owner spun it around in the air, the heavier, metal covered end glistening in the morning sunlight. There was a grunt from the other side of the field they were doing this little dance of theirs and the silvery gleam appeared again, making the blond man curse under his breath and jump out of the way. There was a snarl heard as he jumped to his side and swung the spear towards his opponent.

Squall's counter was impeccable as usual, the metal of their weapons ringing with that clanking noise when they hit together, the two fighting men grinning as they jumped backwards, before attacking relentlessly over and over again, both of their skin covered with beads of sweat, strands of hair stuck on Squall's cheeks, Cid's cigarettes tossed somewhere off.

The brunet circled his mentor -his friend- in slow motion, calculating the possibility of Cid trying this one particular attack on him. The older man made a sudden move to his right and made Squall grin in triumph. Cid jumped in the air, using his spear to give him more leverage and thus sending him towards the younger man, spear raised now high before him, the metal end pointing directly at the brunet's heart.

As Cid tried to finish him off with this good and usually effective attack, there was something the older man had not anticipated this time; Squall was fully prepared and had enough energy to develop new moves to surprise his sparring companion. The young man rushed forward, keeping his gunblade high to protect his head if Cid tried to change the course of his jump suddenly. The blade blocked the spear in mid air, Squall turning a bit to his left and kicked his right leg high in the air, the boot meeting the jumping man's stomach with force, sending the man backwards.

Cid landed on the ground, the impact emptying his lungs and his stomach feeling like it wanted to hurl itself out thru his mouth. He coughed, tried to curse and found the tip of Squall's gunblade pressed to his cheek.

“Yield.”

Cid coughed angrily and glared at his younger companion, fury visible in his blue eyes. As the silvery, stoic blue eyes just kept on staring down, the metal pressed against his cheek and the tip of it piercing the skin a little, he had no other option but to swallow his pride and shove the gunblade off his face with one pouting move.

”Fine! Ya dumb bastard, when I told ya hit me with ya best shot I meant to leave me in one piece!” Giving out his arm to the standing man to help him up, Cid kept mumbling curses under his breath as the pain slowly turned into a pleasant throb to remind him to be a little more careful next time. The boy was progressing, definitely. Cid eyed Squall's face as the brunet yanked him up to his feet and frowned. ”Ye ain't yer best today. Half expected to have more wounds but ye seem to have yer mind in summin else. An’ where d’ya get that fat lip, huh?”

Squall was wiping the sweat from his forehead when he stopped to think of the question. ”Just got my ass whooped yesterday.” Cid looked confused for a moment, then just scratching his neck and smiled widely.

“Must be heck of a fella to be able to kick your ass.” Cid shrugged. “Hope he’s gonna kick sum sense in ye head finally!” He picked up his spear, swirling it in the air with ease before pointing its blunt head to the brunet's chest. ”Now, let's run back!” Smirking that annoyingly knowing smile, Cid had set an unspoken challenge between them. Squall nodded, attaching his gunblade to his back and sprinted towards the city, leaving Cid standing there stupefied, but only for a second.

Cid stared after Squall for a while, scratching his chin. He wondered what it was that seemed so different about the boy today. He had known Squall a long time but this was probably the second time he saw something different in him. Time would tell. He took a deep breath and sprang after Squall.

 

**Cloud**

Light poured over his face, his mind still swimming in the dream lands. Slowly the reality pushed its way to his consciousness, making him stir from the warm nest he had managed to form while turning in his sleep. Where was he..? Cloud blinked and made a soft noise of pain as the light seemed to cause electric shock. Not good. Not good at all. He remained still, trying to figure the source of his pain and why the hell had anyone left the curtains open.

Defying the piercing light and pain, he peeked under his lids to do a quick search, falling back to comforting darkness of his closed eyelids. He sneezed and cursed immediately after doing so; he had located the source. Also, the memory of him getting punched in the face came back to him and with that, came the memory of the puncher. Cloud almost smiled when he recalled the excellent chase he made after Squall. He had ran after the man and when had reached him they had wrestled halfheartedly for a while and then burst out laughing together. They had exchanged numbers and… Cloud's musings were interrupted as he heard familiar footsteps outside his room.

”Hey there stupid. I see you had fun with Reno last night.” Cloud coughed a little. ”Oh, here.. ” Cloud felt something cold being pressed in his hand. ”I got a message from Reno in the middle of the night and he told me to wake you up with a block of ice. I understand what he meant now.” Tifa usually wasn’t one to get mad at Cloud’s antics but after yesterday’s fight he wasn’t sure the kitten had only hid its paws for now.. Cloud took the ice wrapped in a towel and lifted himself a little to a sitting position.

“Tifa, I’m sorry I have been an idiot towards you. You don’t deserve it.” He heard Tifa sighing and shifting on the bed.

”And I’m sorry for yelling at you so much. Cloud, I do love you and cherish you but I can’t be with you like that anymore. I’m sure you understand this is worse than it looks on the outside. You and I were never meant to be together after all.” Tifa glanced at Cloud who was looking at his blanket with a tinge of pink on his cheeks. ”No need to be embarrassed, I’m ok with this. And you should be too.” She stood up, reached to ruffle gently Cloud's hair and then patted away, leaving the blond to process the information.

Cloud pressed the towel over his gently throbbing nose and winced. He was an ass and he knew it. Tifa had always been too good to him and he had just tagged along, not really agreeing to anything but never denying anything either. It was time to move on. Tifa and he would remain as friends and that was a relief; she was the only family he had left and that was enough for Cloud to love her until he died. Like a sister.

After the refreshing shower, Cloud felt like new person. He stared gingerly his reflection in the mirror and touched his nose carefully. It was definitely sore and lightly purple as he had expected it to be; you didn’t get off from a punch in the face with no visible bruising. It would vanish in a week or so anyway so Cloud wasn’t that fussed with it. He dried his skin and pulled on the bottom of his PJ’s shaking his head and causing droplets of water splay over the walls. He smiled in defeat as his futile attempt to flatten the gravity defying hair failed, once again. Searching thru the clothes from yesterday he found what he was looking for; he dropped the phone into the robes pocket and made his way downstairs. Irresistible smell of fresh coffee greeted him when he entered the kitchen. Tifa was already making preparations for dinner and smiled at him.

”Heard you taking a shower and figured you'd want your coffee.” She knew him so well. Yawning a little he pulled a chair and sat on it, waiting the sweet treat to get ready. ”Reno said something about wanting to know what happened after you two parted last night.” Oh right, the phone. Cloud picked the phone out the pocket and opened it.

2 new messages

Reno:

_Hey stupid, hope your nose is bloody and your face half black! Nah, just kidding mate! What an opening for your single life, eh eh? Let’s get wasted next time! HAHAHHAHA!_

Cloud grimaced. He was definitely not going out with Reno again. Ever. He clicked the second message on view and his eyebrows went high in surprise.

_Hey Cloud, how’s the nose doing? My jaw is so fucking sore and bruised, thanks again you evil git. I have free day today and I was wondering if you’d be interested in a proper fist fight. If your face isn’t all purple and black it would be my pleasure to make it so. The address is Alice Street 4. With hate and love; Squall_

He stared at the little screen, reading the message again. A fist fight? What the hell, man? Who woke up in the morning to send an invitation to fight with a person they’d just met? Squall, it seemed. Cloud stifled a snort and read the message again. As he knew nothing about Squall except he was good at punching, running fast and had seriously odd sense of humour, he was left with the only clue he had; the address. Of course Cloud was curious since the guy had seemed more interesting than many other people Cloud had encountered in his entire life.

Also, Squall was so good looking it was honestly illegal. Cloud recalled the brown hair framing the handsome face and the blue eyes. For some reason he could remember small details about Squalls features even though he was sure he had not watched the man long enough to remember anything in particular. Like the little wrinkles on the edges of Squalls eyes when he smiled… Cloud coughed as he felt heat rise up to his cheeks and he remembered how Squall had actually kissed him. Cloud groaned out loud. He had been kissed by a dude!

”Cloud..?” Tifa was staring at him with a frying pan in her other hand. Cloud cocked one eyebrow and wished she wasn’t about to whack him with the pan in the head.

”Just remembered something I wish hadn’t happened…” Cloud breathed deeply and decided to let his curiosity either kill him or to make him have fun for a change. Maybe it was time to move on in life and Squall seemed to be a perfect catalyst for it. “I’m going to need you to cover my shift today. Have any idea what’s on Alice Street 4?”

**An hour later**

Tifa was standing in the garage before Cloud while he was checking his bike and making sure all the necessary parts to be in their own places.

“Cloud. Seriously.. Are you sure you want to meet someone who made you a fool? I don’t want you to end up raped or in the hospital or morgue..” She was growling like an angry bear and her eyes sent daggers at Cloud who felt, as he always did when this sort of thing was happening, utterly defeated.

”But… Tifa. Be sensible now, okay? You know I’m not a helpless girl who can’t take care of themselves.” Cloud tried to sound reassuring but only managed to sound irritated. “What do you want me to do then? You say I need to meet new people and now you are against it when I have decided to do so.” Tifa's glare drilled thru his head. “I’m running late. Honestly!” Her eyes were narrow as she measured Cloud from head to toe.

“Fine, just don't get in trouble and don’t expect me to cover your shift again!” She examined him few more seconds, tilting her head to the side. “Or else...” Slamming her fist against her other palm, it left very little to guess what she meant by that. Cloud could only blink few times after her as she swooped out of the room.

“It’s only a gym.. What the hell was she making a fuss about anyway?” Cloud rolled his eyes and mounted his bike. After finding out what was on the address Alice Street 4 Cloud had just burst out laughing and made up his mind to go and meet his new friend. Squall definitely had interesting way to suggest a match at a boxing studio. Cloud felt exited for the first time in ages and sped up the street hoping the day would continue as great as it had started.

**_Few hours later_ **

Cloud held the door open for Squall who was walking behind him. They stood on the street for a while silent and breathed the fresh air. It was rather heavenly after the sweaty air on the inside of the boxing studio they had been in.

“So, where you head now?” Cloud asked glancing at his companion. He caught the man ruffling his moist hair and felt something tighten in his throat.

“Home. I’ve got to clean up there. The place is a pigsty..” Squall sighed and yawned. “Have some stuff to prepare for work on Saturday so I guess my day is full. Why? Had something more interesting in mind?” The brunet turned to look at Cloud with a grin and the blond felt his ears burn. Why did he imagine there was something else hidden between the lines? He cleared his throat.

“Sorry mate, can’t be of help there. I’ve skipped one day of duties now and will get mauled if I dare to skip the rest of the work waiting for me.” He sighed. It wasn’t often he asked Tifa to cover for him but he was sure she would kick his ass if he didn’t show up to clear the paperwork at least.

“What do you do exactly? Didn’t get the chance to ask before.” Squall grinned. Cloud found himself grinning back as the memory of the few past hours came rushing back. He felt slightly embarrassed since there had been a moment when Squall managed to coax the frustration of the whole situation with Tifa out of him. Cloud had kicked and punched and pretty much had gone all berserk with the punching bag Squall had been holding in place for him. Poor man, he had got more than one kick to his sides and knuckles as Cloud had vented his feelings.

“I..” Cloud coughed. “I co-own a delivery firm. With Tifa.” He added when Squall shot him a questioning look. “I know it’s quite weird considering the situation but Tifa is good at these things.” I know I’m not, Cloud thought.

“Weird is an understatement.”

“So, what do you do for living?” Cloud changed the subject on purpose and ignored the raised eyebrow from Squall. “You know, besides from picking up fights from random people by kissing them.” Cloud had no idea why had he said that. He really shouldn’t have said it. Now it made his chest feel heavy and something flipped down in his stomach. Squall seemed not to notice his discomfort.

“Oh, I do a bit of this and that..” Squall shrugged. “I’m a part-timer at a café and a part-time DJ most of my time. I do some odd-jobs for friends and their friends if they have problems with technical things.” He sighed and a troubled look passed over his features. “I get by. And I don’t go around picking up fights like that. Only with the good looking ones.” Squall winked at Cloud who froze and felt his heart make a loud thump in his chest.

“Ha ha. Very funny. I’ll have to kick your ass for that.”

“Be my guest. Oh, but before you do there’s something I think you might like to attend to. Here.” Squall rummaged a while his bag before extracting a piece of paper and handed it to Cloud. “Think you could be free on Saturday to visit me?”

Cloud examined Squall in silence, wondering about the reasons for the worried expression but didn’t want to ask and his feeling of uneasiness eased. As the brunet looked as normal as you could Cloud dropped his eyes at the paper. He raised one eyebrow amused.

“Uh, a club? You know, I might have had enough of places full of unfamiliar people.” Cloud said the hesitanse audible in his voice. Like being thrown out for one was absolutely something he didn’t want to relive. Squall shrugged and zipped his sweater halfway up to his chest. “I’ll think on it. Can’t promise anything though.” Cloud tried to sound nonchalant even though his thoughts were racing ahead of him. As if he’d have anything to do.

“Well, it’ll be a treat for me if you do come.” A smile crept up to Squalls lips and Cloud felt the need to run away. Right now preferably.


	3. Chapter 3

**Saturday night**

**Cloud**

Cloud sighed and let his fingers trace his jaw line for a moment, lost in thought. He wasn’t so sure it was a good idea after all to go out this evening. He’d been unfocused all week and had felt confused about why his pulse seemed to go high whenever he thought about Squall. He had never felt so torn and confused. It was the first time he’d felt like he was actually drawn to the other man. A MAN! Of all the things to happen in his miserable life… to find out he might fancy guys after all.

Not that there was anything wrong with that. He knew gay people and it was perfectly normal to him. Let people love whom they want, it had very little to do with him in the end. But now when it was a possibility for him to fall into that small group Cloud felt slightly uneasy. He had tried to imagine the same feeling with some other guy. Like Reno for example. No fucking way. Reno was attractive, sure, but not in _that_ way.

Cloud ruffled his hair for the umpteenth time, unable to decide should he go. His mixed up feelings were not a good base for meeting someone in an environment unfamiliar to him. Also, there was the case of all his black shirts missing… Cloud had a wild theory where Tifa knew about his confusion and knew he had been asked to meet with Squall tonight and she had laughed devilishly and shown the poor shirts the might of a pair of scissors.

He coughed. Well, maybe a bit too far fetched.

After an hour of indecision and having gotten fed up with himself, Cloud decided to find out what his heart -and head- would make of this evening. He felt under his jacket the only white shirt he wasn’t too awkward to wear. It felt weird against his skin, like it was made of some other material than the ones he was used to wear. What a load of nonsense really. Who honestly could determine what colour they were wearing? With these determined thoughts Cloud sat on Fenrir pressing the helmet on his head with a small grimace on his lips. He feared going and somehow he was exited and felt a sort of giddiness growing in his stomach.

First things first. Cloud always found a way to make some time to drive his bike with no destination. It was like a drug to him, to ride alone and feel the power under him, controlled. The answers would have to wait until his soul had been satisfied. Cloud ran his fingertips lovingly over Fenrirs shiny black surface and wondered vaguely what would happen if he would actually get into an accident. There was no one whom he had placed as his security person to tell the doctors what to do if he was unable to. If he was to survive from an accident and Fenrir not.. Cloud shuddered at the thought but banished the idea quickly. He had more pleasurable things to attend first. Grinning in his solitude Cloud started the engine with one soft roar and drove out.

It never occurred to him that he forgot to inform Squall about his showing up.

 

**Squall**

He was sitting before his computer, headphones over his ears, staring the screen with very little interest. Going thru the set list for the night was something he had to do to make sure everything was in order, but he was constantly checking his cell phone to see if there were any new messages. Fingering the phone for a while he then opened it, started to write a message, then deleted it with a groan escaping his mouth and tossed the damn thing away from his distressed hands. FUCK!

Had Cloud perhaps forgotten? Maybe.. But then again his logical mind nagged to him that if the other had indeed forgotten he could just call the man and ask again. Though Squall didn’t really want to do that since it would make him seem desperate and clingy. Shit, he really hated this feeling! Maybe he should just text and be done with it? He reached to take the phone back, settling down in his chair -the music just went on without him really paying any attention to it, like he should have done-, opening a new message but once again convincing himself that it wasn’t his duty to pester Cloud about this. Squall tossed the phone away again and buried his face to his palms.

Okay, so he was frustrated and pissed off too. Frustrated because Cloud had not had the sense to answer him and pissed off because he himself was a brooding nerve wreck, fussing over something like this! The training early this morning again with Cid had done a good job on easing his nerves. But that bliss was gone with the wind by now.

Squall raised his arms above him and tried to stretch while his mind was going thru the past week. Again. He had actually kissed the guy. Okay, so he had done it to piss Reno off but by doing it had made something stir in him. Cloud had had such a soft pair of lips and his skin had a tempting scent to it. And of course, inviting Cloud boxing with him had been the cherry on top. He was pretty sure the blond was no novice in martial arts or anything like that. The man was so fair without being feminine or girly. Just plain and simple; awesome.

No, he should not think the other in that way. Cloud had looked so damn shocked when he had dared to kiss him. So he was off limits for sure.

Squall tugged his hair in different directions and stood up, completely forgetting he still had the headphones on and thus ripping the cord out of his laptop and the laptop nearly falling on the floor. Cursing out loud, Squall decided he really should take a grip on himself or he would also screw up tonight's set list. But he was not able to stop himself for checking the phone again. No.. No messages. Maybe Cloud just thought he had been so weird and unworthy of his attention he would never even consider of giving him any reply.

He was pushing himself on the verge of getting mad at Cloud and that never led into anything good. It would be much easier when he would get to work and put his mind on something better than this. He would’ve done something more creative now but he sucked at cooking so no go there and it was the kids turn to clean up. He kept pacing across his room unable to stay still.

Finally he stopped before his mirror that hung from wall next to the door and peered into it, trying to examine himself objectively. Well, he wasn’t that bad if he was being honest. The only ugly thing about his face was the stupid scar crossing between his eyes. If he just ignored that he admitted he had nice blue eyes, straight nose and excellently shaped face. Ok, so he could smile more often but then again, he didn’t have any wrinkles around his mouth because of that. Who needs smiling anyway.

Squall growled at his reflection and turned away. No matter how good looking he might be it would never be enough to turn someone from being straight. He would just have to pucker up and take it like a man. Cloud would be a worthy friend, if nothing else. If the blond sucker actually would answer him in the first place..

 

**Cloud**

The street was fairly empty when Cloud pulled his bike over the sidewalk about an hour later he had departed from home. Wondering if he was in the right address, he scanned the street for anything that might suggest the club he was looking for was somewhere near. He was already reaching to his phone, when he saw a couple of kind of peculiar looking persons walking on the other side of the road. They stopped at a huge iron door that looked nothing more than a door to a bomb-shelter. The couple opened it and disappeared inside. Since they had at least gotten his attention, Cloud decided to follow their lead and parked his bike finally. Daring himself to leave the precious machine there on its own was a huge step to him, but then again.. it had gone thru some heavy damage before without falling apart, and there was always Cid who could fix it. Nervous and anxious as Cloud felt he still managed to make his way to the heavy iron door.

Standing now before it, he noticed the name of the club had been scorched on the door; it kind of stood out now that he was so close, but it was hard to know it was an entryway to a club. Cloud took a deep breath and pulled the handle and sudden darkness enveloped him. Soft, muffled sounds of music playing somewhere were the only clue that he was going to the right direction.

It was a small space that he stood in now and slowly Cloud realized there actually was a light above him. It just was black, so all the shadows were deep, dark gray and made it impossible to see clearly. Interesting start… Cloud could hear his heartbeat thudding in his ears. He took a step forward and realized there was a small booth and behind it was someone sitting. A step forward lighted the figure some more and Cloud could see it was a frail looking girl. She looked surreal in the dark lighting, her skin cold and white, her eyes were black pitches and her mouth was only just visible when she opened it and a row of teeth flashed.

“Hi there.” She had lifted her eyes from her nail filing was now looking at Cloud directly, head tilted slightly to her side. “You got a name on list or just buying ticket in?”

“Just the ticket, please.” Cloud mumbled, still feeling completely out of place.

”15 and gimme your arm. You can’t get out and back in if you ain’t got the stamp on.” She smiled sweetly, as queer as it looked for someone whose entire attire was more fitting to either circus or funeral and stamped Clouds left wrist. ”Down the stairs, follow the music and you won’t get lost.” He only nodded and searched in the dim light those mentioned stairs. He had a nagging feeling that there would be even more surprises ahead as it was already quite a lot more different than anything he had set his eyes on.

He descended the steps carefully, making his way towards the slowly increasing volume of music. Finally he reached a pair of dark wooden doors and pushed them open. He wasn't really ready for the impact of the music and the heavy air clinging to the place. It all felt like someone had smacked him in the face.

_/You sick fuck! You sick fuck! You sick fuck!/_

Cloud bit his lip and looked confused. The music was so loud and raw, the bass ripping the amplifiers nearly in pieces, the thudding of it pressing on him from all around him so hard it was nearly difficult to breath. Cloud wasn't really able to tell much about the lyrics since the vocals were torn, loud yelling mostly, but the few words he caught were quite far from being about sunshine and rainbows. So this was the place where Squall spent his time. Cloud could feel his interest in the man fade a little as he scanned the place.

The club itself was rather big, simple design and left little to explore. There was a huge open space that took out most of the space, on the edge of it stood a stage where there seemed to be all the DJ's equipment spread around along with interesting decorations that consisted army styled webs and sculls, and were those bones? Cloud was only able to blink his eyes at this sight, then turning his stare to the rest of the area. Dark corners, like any other club, were spread to the walls, with tables and couches, stools and higher tables to just lean onto or place your drinks on.

The bar was on the other side of the room, opposite the stage. It seemed to radiate some red and purple light and as Cloud stepped closer he noticed it to be completely made out of smoked glass, different lamps coloring it from the inside. He was able to see the outlines of various bottles of alcohol stored behind the glass. Cloud searched the back of the bar area and noticed that it did consist the bottles and machines, probably easier for the bartenders to flip the needed liquids in their hands, rather than just having to jump up and down all the time.

The biggest thing that made Cloud confused –and to doubt whether Squall was good company at all- were the people that had gathered in there. The ruling color was indeed black, but.. Various people had dressed themselves in shiny black -or red, white, green..- fabrics that hugged their bodies so tightly it left absolutely nothing hidden. Cloud had to shake his head few times when he realized that if the people around weren't wearing plastic, their clothes were most likely ripped so badly they were walking half naked.

And this was the place Squall thought he would feel like to be at..? Like hell not. Though the music wasn't half bad, now that he got used to the raping of the vocal cords and the bass so fast it made him think he was about to have a cardiac arrest. The place was rather full, but the dance floor was nearly empty, all the people inside had packed themselves to the tables and were chatting in small groups, drinking.

Cloud felt like he was standing out a little too much by standing there doing basically nothing but ogling around alone, so he ventured to the bar and asked for a glass of water from the heavily pierced bartender. Cloud noted that most people around him were pierced or tattooed, some so heavily you weren’t sure where the person began and piercings ended. He had had no idea there even was such people existing!

As Cloud kept observing the crowds there seemed to be no sign of Squall. He sighed and chewed on his lower lip, trying to figure what to do to find the man he had wanted to see. Then it hit him. Oh crap.. He had not even replied to Squall would he be here tonight. Reaching to his pocket and fetching his phone Cloud was trying to write a message but he was interrupted.

“Hi there gorgeous, you alone?” A soft question voiced next to his ear and he raised his eyes to see the person behind the words. A lone woman, probably twice Cloud's age, dressed in very fitting red latex dress, high-heels and weird shade of pink hair that didn't really look real. What Cloud could make of the woman's face, under those thick layers of make-up, it was a little too eager looking and basically frightened him.

“No.” He tried to escape back to his phone. Writing his message and sending it quickly only made his misery worse, since now he had nothing to concentrate on, except his water.

“Oh really. You know what sweetheart..” The woman leaned towards the blond who could smell the alcohol in the her breath. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I closer together..” Cloud tried not to choke on his water and stared at the woman not really believing his ears. He remained silent; there really was nothing he could say. This never the less did not lessen the interest of the other on him. Cloud tried to move away slowly but noticed it to be futile since he only would end up against someone else who was waiting at the bar.

“Really, I have company already.” At least he wished so! Now more than ever. The drunken state of the woman was now more visible as she took one unsteady step closer to him, perhaps in hopes of getting all intimate already.

“If I told you had an incredible body, would you hold it against me?” She managed to slur thru her thickly painted lips, which she now pursed at him, making Cloud jump out of the way with an audible yelp his eyes wide. Too bad he ended up jumping against someone which made him let out another sound of surprise out of his mouth. He turned his blond head to see who he had managed to nearly knock down.

“I believe he said he had company already.” A low voice filled Cloud's ears when registering the voice belonging to none other than Squall. Cloud felt his rapidly pumping heart steadying slowly. Strong arm was wrapping itself around his waist and he was being tugged into a tight half-hug. “So, piss off.” The woman looked rather baffled for a moment. Squall was holding Cloud in a tad more intimate way than guys usually did hold each other. Cloud had the sense to wrap his own arm around Squall's waist too and trying his best to look comfortable. The woman shrugged her shoulders and took off, mumbling something about queers being the pain in the ass.

“Thank you..” Cloud felt his heart start to race, feeling the calm beat of Squall's heart against his chest. It was such an intoxicating feeling, warm and safe. It had been quite a long time since he had been held like this, close to someone.

“No, it's ok. But you seem to have the ability to attract troublemakers.” Squall cocked his eyebrow at the blond and tightened his hold of him. “Shouldn't leave you alone at all. Though, you could have had messaged me earlier. Not that I didn't enjoy that 'I'm at the bar. Help.' message quite much.” Squall grinned widely as Cloud's cheeks tried to set themselves on fire. “Not that I mind getting that sort of messages from pretty boys.” Cloud stared stubbornly at Squall’s shoulder, refusing to recognize Squall's obvious teasing. The closeness of the other had awoken that strange feeling in him and Cloud was starting to panic because of it. It didn’t make things any easier for Squall to be so fucking perfect looking and smelling nice.

“Keep talking shit like that and I’ll kick your ass so bad your own mother won’t recognize you.” Cloud was in a rather confused situation where he felt extremely awkward and jumpy and yet.. He wanted to lean into the touch more and lay his head on Squall’s shoulder to breathe slowly the faint fragrance in. The body he was pressed against was warm and safe and Cloud was able to forget there even was a huge room packed with people around them. Small miracle since he was the type to avoid this sort of places like the plague.

Cloud sighed. He was so damn busted for starting to feel something he didn’t know how to put in words and it was all because of Squall.

 

**Squall**

“I accept the challenge.” He smirked at the blond who now snapped his floor staring eyes up finally to meet Squall's. “You can try to kick my ass.” He was having hard time not to smile like an idiot when Cloud was looking straight at him with those amazing blue eyes of his. “Come, let's get somewhere little less packed.” He regretted letting go of that warmth he was feeling radiating from the body he held, but Cloud seemed to be uncomfortable there -though Cloud's arm was still around Squalls waist. Squall stepped a little further from Cloud and motioned him to follow deeper into the club.

He had taken only few steps before he felt a hand taking his own into a tight grip. Squall turned his head to follow the pale arm to its owner and stared at Cloud's eyes, stunned. The blond held on his cheeks the most reddish color he had ever seen on anyone's face.

“I'll get in trouble if you turn your back.” Without the color on his face Squall could've sworn it was a gesture to mock his words earlier, but that blush held a different kind of possibility. Smiling a little he took a firm hold of Cloud's hand and pulled him in the middle of the people, heading towards the stage.

Cloud's hand was warm in his, the skin felt soft but it had the kind of harshness that spoke of endless hours of hard work. Just like his hands were, because he had never said no to work. Squall admired a man who could take care of himself; there was nothing more unattractive than a big boy playing girly games. Cloud looked nothing like a girl nor the kind that would take shit from anyone. Quite the opposite. These two times they had seen, Squalls hunch about Cloud being more or less just like he himself, only had increased. At least that was what Squall thought. He had no idea what went on in Clouds pretty blond head, but he hoped it wasn’t anything too bad. Even though he had been teasing Cloud about something the blond seemed to be a bit touchy.

The slender fingers gripped Squalls hand tightly as Cloud tried to keep up with his speed and dodging the people getting their way. Squall wondered how odd it might look for him to waltz across the room with a man in his tail. All the regularly attending people along with the staff knew him to be the pickiest and secluded personality in the building. The hell with it, it felt nice to hold Clouds hand like this, even though it was just for the convenience of the situation and nothing more.

They reached the right side of the stage, Squall opening a door hidden behind the huge amplifiers and pulled Cloud into a small corridor leading even further in. All the sound from seemed to went out as the door slammed shut behind them and became an eerie, silent thudding. The corridor was brightly lit and shirt. They reached a room with a variety of different machines and wires, so many of them it looked like there was a mat of snakes on the floor, mirrors covering the walls and a pair of couches that had seen their better days in the 80’s sitting in the corner. One of couches was occupied.

“Hey, Squall.. Oh, a new playmate?” There was a huge grin flashed from the couch towards Squall and Cloud who entered the room. Squall felt the blond jerking his hand free and stopping behind him. Squall guessed Cloud was looking suspicious as hell. He ran his tingling fingers thru his messy hair and pointed at the two on the couch.

“No. Cloud, the idiot grinning there is Sora and the blond trying to smash Sora's head with that bottle is his twin, Roxas. Guys, this is Cloud.” Two pairs of blue eyes set on the blond behind Squall and he more felt than saw Cloud shifting uncomfortable on his feet. Two very similar grins were shot from the couch. “Please, don’t believe anything they say.” Squall glared at the twins and turned to Cloud with a softer expression on his face. “They are more or less the slaves for people who turn up performing here.”

“Yeah, we're the nutcases that continue slave our asses off until 4am when that dimwit there… Yes Squall sweetheart I am talking about you, you old fart, has already gone home to sleep. No wait. Do you even sleep? I think he just works, fights and reads. No sleep. That's why he's so grumpy always.” Sora babbled on, his twin making annoyed faces next to him, Squall just grunting at them and motioned Cloud to sit on the free couch.

“Want some soda or water? Beer maybe?” Cloud hesitated a fraction of a second before moving to sit on the couch, the furthest corner from the eagerly staring twins. He glanced at Squall with nearly desperate look in his eyes. “They aren't contagious, despite how dirty they look.” Two protesting noises rose from the younger boys direction but Squall just shrugged and grabbed a bottle of water for himself.

“Are you sure? They don't look too healthy.. And water please, I need to drive home.” Cloud eyed the twins his eyes narrow and clearly not trusting anything Squall had said. Squall stifled a laugh behind his water, grabbing a new bottle for Cloud, handing it over as he flopped next to him on the couch. Not enough close to touch but not quite on the other end either.

“You on a car or what?” Squall ignored the twins, concentrating fully on his companion. Cloud was toying with the bottle, again refusing to look at him. Maybe he didn’t even want to be here. A lump of fear settled into his chest. It made no sense for Cloud to turn up if he hated the idea of coming so much so maybe he just didn’t like finding out Squall’s occupation and tolerance with oddballs that came here. Logic was something that eluded his when it came to things connected with Cloud. He had tried so hard to keep his feelings down and not to get infatuated with Cloud but it seemed he was doomed. The realization made Squall feel all tingly. He wasn’t the type to land with crushes like this. Had always thought himself above such mundane things. It might suit perhaps Sora but definitely not him. As the poor object of his interest was clearly not leaning towards guys anyway.

“No.. I have a bike.” Cloud answered a hint of affection in his voice. Squall glanced at him, seeing a small smile playing on the corner of Clouds lips. Why was he noticing the colour of them now when he had just made the decision to keep his longing at bay? How on earth could he do that now when Cloud so innocently dropped the bomb that made Squalls veins set on fire. The image of Cloud sitting on a bike was terribly, frighteningly, absolutely hot.

“Oh.” Squall just could not form any words. His mind had gone into a state where he was close at losing all his sane thinking and just leap on Cloud and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. Squall wasn't sure, but he felt like his face was burning and that was something that made him feel uncomfortable. It was like someone had turned on his deeply hidden desires and wants on all at the same time. Too bad the target was poorly chosen.

“Hey Squall. Are.. you _blushing_?!”

“Sora, shut the fuck up!”

“But Rox, just _look_ at hh.. OUCH!! What was that for?!”

Roxas had smacked Sora with his bottle quite hard, but it did quiet the boy down. Squall was eternally grateful for Roxas being there to keep his never-to-shut-his-mouth-brother in order. Trying to ignore the obvious glaring Cloud was doing at his and the twins’ direction, Squall ran his hand thru his hair, a gesture he did usually when he was nervous about something, and cleared his throat.

“I really thought you would not be able to get here tonight. Or more likely I thought your braicells didn’t function after I worked you out so hard last time. And I must admit that the bruise on your face was most appealing. The loss seems to have lessened your attractiveness.” Turning eventually to face Cloud, Squall had managed to get his cool demeanor back together and hoped he was looking as normal as he could. Cloud seemed to observe his every move with his eyes, gods only knew what he was thinking of.

“I’ve had worse work outs, trust me. A healthy dose of coffee and magnesium does wonders to muscle aches, you know.” Cloud chewed his lower lip, which Squall found incredibly tantalizing and felt his hands twitch, like he wanted to cup those cheeks and just.. Oh, stop it already! Mentally smacking himself, Squall nodded. “ There’s nothing wrong with my brain so stop pestering me being a blond. At least I get more fun out of life rather than blending into the crowd with plain brown hair. I got too engrossed with work and it slipped my mind.” Cloud finally leaned to the back of the couch, visibly less uncomfortable now. Squall's eyes wandered over the bare arms, admiring the muscles and fair skin, eventually noticing how good a white t-shirt looked on Cloud. Nice combination, indeed.

“It's fine, I trust you will eventually come to terms with your brain missing.” So he had been right, Cloud had just forgotten the whole thing. Nothing suspicious about it. “Does unhealthy amounts of coffee give your and upper arm then? You know, for kicking my ass.” Cloud narrowed his eyes at this and his lips formed a devious grin after a moment of glaring.

“Hell yeah.” Their eyes met and melted together, time and space blurring around them. How easy it would be to just kneel before Cloud and do everything he wanted Squall to do. Eventually Cloud blinked and the moment broke. “I assume you wield a weapon of some sort?” Cloud moved his staring to his water bottle and opened it with one slow move.

“Yes. I go for sparring with a friend usually. You should come too sometime, so you could prove yourself.” The idea was absolutely thrilling. Squall took a swig from his own bottle and eyed the clock on the wall. “My turn will start in 15minutes, so I have to go now.” Sighing, he got up and shot a glare at the unusually quiet twins. “If these two try anything funny, you have my full permission to kick their sorry bottoms.”

“Your little playb..MMHPH!!” Sora's sentence was cut by Roxas' hand pressing over that ever-talkative mouth.

“No worries, we'll keep your friend safe and sound here. Plus, you can see us from the stage if we stay over there.” Roxas pointed at one of the three doors in the room. On the left of the door where Cloud and Squall had emerged was an opening looking straight to the stage where stood the DJ’s booth.

Squall looked at Cloud one last time, his gaze lingering over the blonds’ face, that slender neck, the white t-shirt that was so loose it made the man look very thin, which Cloud certainly was not in a bad way, and shook his head to clear it from unhealthy thoughts and walked out of the room, straight on the stage. He dimmed the lights from the controls and sneaked across the empty space and hid behind the table where his precious laptop and machines were waiting for him. A thought of Cloud under his touch made its way to his brains as he ran his fingertips over the buttons. Squall groaned frustrated. He should relieve himself at some point or this horniness would cost him his dear life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to explain the POV changing.. I used to play a lot of storytelling with people so the habit of writing in turns kinda stuck on. I write somewhat similarly still, but I don't use pov changes that much anymore. I hope it's not unreadable though.
> 
> Also if anyone ever stumbled over this in FFNET might notice I changed some chapters. Because I suck at clipping a story into chapters I just edited these a bit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Cloud**

How could he get away from this situation and smoothly just disappear into the shadows? He was sitting alone with the twin boys, both first staring at him with curiosity and then they had fallen into silence and kept staring at each other intensively. Cloud could only guess it was some kind of method of communicating between twins. For a moment he wondered what it would be like to have a walking image of you, but still not you, always by your side, but discarded the thought as being too creepy. It was enough for the world to handle one of his kind.

Trying to turn his thoughts on something else he stared at the mirrors that covered the walls. All were covered with different kind of stickers, stating funny lines and advertising bands or new albums. Cloud wondered if Squall had his own name somewhere here. Squall.. His eyes moved to the door leading to the stage and he wanted to stand up and move closer so he could see what Squall was doing. From this current sitting point he saw only a glimpse of the dance floor.

“Hey Rox, I'm gonna go and help out, so Squall can begin and get his fat ass home to do, whatever he does there, I don't really wanna know.” Sora piped up suddenly and got up from the couch and Cloud realized for the first time how close the two had been sitting. Very thin boys, the clothes were too big and their hair being even spikier and messier than Cloud and Squall combined. “And blondie..” Cloud didn't realize first that Sora was talking to him, but after a moment of waiting he looked at the boy. “Just move your skinny ass over there and see the man work his magic on stage. I know you want to.” That mischievous little smile, that evil grin flashing over the young face and Cloud knew that Sora _knew_ what was going on in his mind better than Cloud knew himself.

Despite what Sora had said, Cloud stubbornly sat where he was, not intending to get up at all, not even when he saw that little part of the dancing area to go completely dark, a few cheers rising from the crowds and Sora obviously turning some spotlights on. Damn, he wanted to get up so badly but just couldn't move a muscle. Cloud was unaware of Roxas standing up until the blond had walked before him, looking at Cloud with his baby-blue eyes that seemed to know of his inner turmoil just as well as his brother had.

“It’s no use fighting curiosity, really.” Roxas wore nearly the same clothes as his brother did, but he had white wrist warmers. Cloud sighed, giving in and followed the shorter blond to the doorway. Roxas leaned on the door frame, pointing at Squall and Sora, who was behind the taller brunet sorting out some wires. Seeing the shorter blond boy at this range reminded Cloud so much of Squall it was amazing he hadn’t noticed it before. And looking at the two on the stage.. Their facial features were quite similar. Was that just a coincidence and a trick his eyes played because of the clothes and hair color?

Squall's tall figure stood up from behind the table where his equipment was, a pair of huge earphones on his head and face lit by a source Cloud didn't see from here. Seeing the other man from a distance made him just admire those features, the whole being that Squall was. It was enough to turn his veins towards much warmer state, that black tank top hugging the Squall's torso tightly didn’t make things any better that’s for sure. Ok, it was normal to appreciate someone for their looks but this was turning rather weird. Cloud had never been one to notice stuff like appearances much so why was he so keen on checking out Squall? Checking out.. For crying out loud, he wasn’t gay!

Suddenly the music began again. It was almost like a voice that came from screeching something with something sharp, it cut the air increasing the volume slowly to a point where finally the bass was ripping the amplifiers apart and a harsh voice started to yell the words.

_/Hey you, what the fuck is wrong with you? Hey you, what the fuck is wrong with you?/_

Cloud saw how the front area of the stage slowly was filled with even more people. Everyone rushing to move with the music. It was a sight to see, the shimmering latex caught the flashing lights, the neon-colored hair shone in the UV-lights, making people look so surreal it felt like he had actually fallen thru the rabbit hole. But the most interesting thing to watch was Squall. He had dropped his stoic demeanor and was mouthing the lyrics, moving over his equipment smoothly, his body movement going in synch with the beat. Quite the opposite he had acted before.

Roxas welcomed his brother back by pulling Sora close to his side. Were they holding hands? Seriously, how old were they anyway… 5? Sora grinned that manic grin of his eyes shining in the flashes of light.

“He sure does know how to use that body of his. Well tuned and pretty fucking hot without anything covering it. But I guess you know that already?” There was a stunned silence for a moment when Cloud turned slowly red and looked at Sora with an annoyed sort of twitch on his brow.

“I'm not that close with him.” Cloud gritted his teeth and tried shoo the images of Squall without a shirt away from his mind. “We only met a week ago.” Maybe the idea of getting rid of clothes was fine to some people but all in honestly, he didn’t even want to see his own body naked!

The twins stared at Cloud with their pretty mouths open wide. “WHAT! Holy crap, that was SUPER fast for Squall!” Sora managed to blurt out after they both had regained some of their sanity. This made of course Cloud intrigued more than he wanted the boys to know. But as he soon found out, the twins apparently saw right thru him and there was little he could hide from them. “He never wants anyone new to know anything about his life and for what we saw before he has revealed quite a lot, for being Squall.” Roxas was nodding next to his brother.

“The last time we saw him having a guy over was like a really long time ago.” Roxas said. He spoke a lot less but when he did, he had more serious tune in his voice, more calculating and cold, very much the opposite of his brother. Never the less, they both shared that piercing glare that made Cloud feel like he had no skin left to protect himself.

“Really. But I'm not his boyfriend. I hardly know him.” Cloud moved his eyes back to Squall. It was like Squall was a magnet he was draw to, it was so hard not to look at him. And he wasn't the only one who noticed this. There was a bunch of girls on the edge of the stage, shooting glares at the Squalls direction. Cloud missed the knowing smiles on the twins’ faces as they looked at each other and formed a silent word together; _Yet._

A long while they stood there, watching the crowds moving under the lights. Cloud felt a little dizzy from the flashes and thumping of music. All this was very interesting but how could anyone want to do this every weekend, or week? So noisy it made his head ache and the air had turned a bit too stuffed for his taste. Squall moved thru his songs fluently, head nodding with the beat and sometimes taking few dancing steps in the little space he occupied.

“Here, you should take this water to him.” Roxas suddenly handed a pair of bottles to Cloud, ending his blank glaring at the group of girls. He stared at the blond twin, then the bottles and then Roxas again. “He forgot to take them with him.” There was an innocent shrug, as if the suggested task was something that happened always, but for some reason Cloud was sure it was not purely accidental for Squall to forget something vital as water. He took the bottles eventually and then shot a hesitating stare to the stage that was completely dark. The only light was Squall and the random spotlights.

“Right..” Cloud took a deep breath and moved silently towards Squall, trying not to step under the spotlights. He saw from the corner of his eye that the people closest to the edge of the stage noticed him, also those damn giggling girls, and nearly heard them whispering together in confusion. Ok, it wasn't really hearing, since the music was so loud, but he did see those painted lips talking and the interested looks they shot at his direction. Fastening his steps he sneaked behind the table under the protection of the shadows and observed the man in the middle of his work.

Cloud had not been paying much attention earlier to what Squall was wearing, but he sure as hell saw it now. The pants were tight, so very tight. They hugged the long legs from the knees up to that nice back side. Maybe he could understand why people wore such tight pieces of clothing after all, those sure did bring out the best of Squall's well formed behind. The knee-length boots were hot as pits of damnation, and around the right thigh was wrapped three leather belts. A naughty idea of what you could do with those belts distracted Cloud for a moment. Oh gods, he had to stop thinking about things like that.

Then Squall turned, catching Cloud staring at his ass and he felt his face setting on fire. Lucky for him, Squall was too occupied and did not have many seconds to spare for ogling behind him. He motioned Cloud to step closer. Cloud obeyed and when Squall glanced at him again, Cloud had regained his normal color and lifted the bottles up. There was a grateful smile soon on Squall's lips as he pointed an empty space on the table where to put the items.

Now that he was close to the table, Cloud finally saw what the other was working with. There were two square boxes that had CD's on them, a smaller black square in the middle with lots of buttons. Also Squall's laptop was on the right side and lighted his when he leaned closer every once in a while.

Squall must have caught the Cloud looking curious as he suddenly pulled the blond before him. Cloud found himself placed his back against Squall's warm chest, those slightly tanned arms reaching from either side of him to continue their work on the machines. He felt the Squalls hot breath on his neck and felt the shivers running down his spine so suddenly he wanted to jump in the air.

“Like this..” He heard Squall's voice very close to his ear and it wasn't far for him to squirm out of the half embrace he was held in. Squall took Cloud's hands and guided them over the turntables and the mixer, making it possible for them to make a smooth transition between the current song and the next. Cloud was so intrigued by the act and forgot the fact that Squall's body was pressing against him. After some curious moments Cloud remembered where he was and like a jolt thru his clothes he could feel Squalls heartbeats, feel the steady breathing on his neck and the feeling of something happening to him returning. Cloud found himself biting his lower lip as Squall's left hand fingers intertwined with his and the right arm wrapped around his waist, preventing Cloud from escaping. At the same time he hated this and on the other hand… It was the most intimate situation he had ever been in.

Cloud could feel his body go rigid, the hug made him feel so hot. It was hard to keep his breathing even. His heartbeat was racing and all the air seemed to leave his lungs. He wanted to move away from the warmth that made him dizzy, the sudden happiness making him smile like an idiot. Despite his mind trying to scream at him that this was not ok, he was not supposed to feel cozy and comfortable in a man’s embrace, Cloud finally relaxed into the touch.

It wouldn’t hurt him for trying to enjoy someone holding him for once, would it?

He really should wake up and fast, because the further he let himself be held like this, the harder it would be to admit that he was not thinking Squall in a romantic way. The last logical thought disappeared when Cloud felt a pair of dry, warm lips touching ever so lightly his neck. He leaned his head back to Squalls shoulder with a delirious sigh, closing his eyes and marveling the jolt of electricity running thru his entire body.

He was so very, very doomed.

 

**Squall**

If he had been surprised to see Cloud to emerge from the darkness behind him that covered the stage, it sure came as a shocking realization to him that Cloud was leaning into his embrace and not trying to pull him free or accuse Squall being weird and disgusting for daring to do this kind of thing.

Squall couldn't help himself for leaning even closer, when the pale neck was so near to his face he could smell Cloud's skin. The man was made purely out of things that made Squall's mind spin, the closer they were. Under his hesitating fingertips he could feel the flat stomach of the other, the lines of abs and hipbones jutting beneath the fabric of the shirt. He could not resist the temptation; the skin looked so delicious, so very soft and so freely exposed to him. Squall found himself pressing his lips against Cloud's neck, ever so softly, just wanting to know how the skin felt under his lips.

It was a sensation to touch the other, but when those blond spikes fell backwards, the head soon resting on Squall's shoulder, he could only inhale deeply that spicy fragrance that was filling his nose so sweetly and fall into blissful state of mind. He forgot he was suppose to work at the same time, he forgot the people below on the floor, he forgot the twins seeing him and Cloud swaying slowly from side to side, he forgot that he was not suppose to do things like these to someone who was not his to touch. A gentle smile reached his lips that were still lingering over Clouds neck. He could get used to this nervous happiness that tickled the bottom of his stomach like there were butterflies fluttering their wings.

All good things come and end and so did the magical moment of theirs as Squall finally snapped back to present time and noticed that he should change the song again. Untangling his fingers and releasing Cloud's waist he did another transition, noticing quite a few of the people dancing looking straight at them. Oh damn.. There would be no end to the gossips after this. He had to check his laptop for the song that would come up next and to do that, he had to turn more and thus, relieve Cloud from his warm prison against Squall's chest.

Cloud took a polite step to the side, to be out of the way and looked stubbornly at the turntables, like there were little green men dancing on them. Had he gone too far already and made Cloud freak out? But Cloud seemed to reach for the forgotten water bottles and taking a long drink from one of them. Squall could just stare and feel jealous for the bottle that was able to touch those lips, now realizing how he yearned to lavish kisses on the soft skin. He bit his bottom lip and turned grumpily to his machines to prevent himself from making a bigger ass out of himself.

The rest of the set Squall managed to play thru without any more incidents or any more touches from either of them. Cloud stood next to him, so maybe he didn't freak him out completely, the whole time, his face back to being unreadable and beautiful as carved marble statues were, those blue eyes scanning the crowd, observing everything. Nothing was suggesting that Cloud was bored or annoyed, but neither did the man seem to enjoy the evening, he just stood there. Like a gorgeous statue, indeed.

Eventually Squall played the last song, the much sweatier mass of people cheering for a minute in appreciation for him giving out a good set of songs. Squall closed his laptop and gathered the CD's with him. Someone had put on music from somewhere else, so there was no absolute silence at any time. Before either of them was able to say anything, Squall just handed Cloud his CD case and took the laptop himself, motioning them to leave back to the room they were before.

The twins were nowhere to be seen when they reached the quieter space and Squall slumped on the couch, tired and sighed. His eyes followed Cloud who entered the room more slowly and placed the case next to Squall. Only Clouds eyes revealed some emotion, pale lashes blinking as if to say; I don't know what to do.

“Wanna go somewhere?” There was no point at staying here anyway. Squall never had felt compelled to stay to see the twins or anyone else, to perform and was ready to leave if the other wanted to. To where, that he didn't know. He only knew he wanted to continue seeing Cloud. To see him breath, to see him flutter those eyelashes, to see him blush for whatever reason.. Squall coughed, trying his best to hide his embarrassment.

“Yeah.” Cloud's eyes, they were darker in this bright yellowish light and had a tired depth in them, like frozen pools of water. Squall wanted nothing more than to just melt the tiredness and awaken Cloud into such passion it would make those beautiful eyes shine like no tomorrow. They both startled out of their intense staring, as they heard an amused cough from the one doorway that led not into the stage nor back to the club, but even deeper into the backroom area. Sora and Roxas were standing there and were watching the older men with their eyes shining brightly.

“We won't wait you to turn up this night!” Sora grinned widely and got a slap to the back of his head from his brother -they seemed to enjoy this punching quite a lot-. “ Uh, I mean.. We ain't gonna be home before 5am anyway so.. you know. The flat is unoccupied. Leave the CD's and laptop and we'll take.. good care of them. Yeeeaaaahh... we're gonna like.. go now. To do.. stuff. Have fun!” Sora's brown spikes were the last thing the older pair saw as Roxas had pulled his twin back to where they had emerged from.

Both looked after the boys for a while, a slightly stunned impression on their faces, then looked at each other and grinned. Squall stood up and just shrugged, walking into the corridor that led to the door into club, Cloud following him quickly. As they walked to the door that opened behind the amplifiers near the stage, Squall felt again Cloud's hand catching his own.

“I don't like big crowds.” It was the only explanation Squall could hear. He smiled to himself and squeezed gently the hand in his, leading them into the damp, stuffy and heavy air of the actual club, pushing thru the drunken goths and generally weird people. Since the place was rather full now, it took a while for them to get to the wooden doors that lead to the stairs up and towards the fresh air. Squall noticed his head to ache a little. The pain was throbbing behind his eyes, trying to form into a headache.

Finally he pushed the iron door open and stepped on the sidewalk, letting go of Cloud's hand and stretched his arms up in the air and yawned blissfully. The club was nice and all, but it damn well made him feel sleepy, especially after having a show to do. He eyed the dark street and its yellow lamps, trying to figure what to do next when his eyes spotted something black. Something definitely awesome on the other side of the street. 

“Please don't tell me that there is your bike?” Squall asked and Cloud managed a sly smile and nodding, walked towards it.

“Yeah, that's my Fenrir.” Cloud sounded like he was talking about someone living, not just a machine. Ok, a seriously cool piece of machinery, but still. Seeing the other walking ahead of him, reaching the black bike and touching it gently, it looked like Cloud was greeting the bike, his stomach clenched unpleasantly as he remembered what he had been up to just mere minutes ago down there. It was a small wonder Cloud hadn’t gone running already from him. Squall was sure someone had spiced his morning cereals with aphrodisiacs since he never was this open with his feelings. He hid his uneasiness under appreciative nodding about the bike.

“Suits you.” Squall murmured and Cloud had a smile lingering on his lips at the comment and leaned down to pull his pants' hem up and revealed not only a nice and simple pair of black boots but also Squall saw the pale skin to flash from under the fabric. He was about to avert his eyes but when Cloud rose up he saw what the blond had took out from the shank of his boots; a pair of rather big knives. “Should I be worried now?” He cocked his eyebrow at Cloud, who blinked innocently and then glared at the pair of sharp objects in his hand.

“No, unless you plan to drug me and rape me after I'm unconscious.” A sheepish grin found its way to Cloud's lips and he opened the stable to put the knives into safety there. Squall kept staring at the blond, not knowing should he be amused for the sarcastic comment, it was no joking matter after all, or was Cloud about to castrate him for stepping over the line earlier. Squall decided to let it go and put some trust on Cloud to forget the little mishap without a comment about it.

Cloud was staring at him, sitting now over the bike, ready to drive off and was observing Squall's mild confusion, one eyebrow high. Squall coughed, his cheeks burning faintly. The last thing he had thought was about how rough the blond would be in right circumstances. Hence the blush on his cheeks this time. He swallowed hard, pushing the tormenting thoughts away.

“Not going to.” Squall managed to say before stepping closer to the man and his bike. He wondered was he supposed to climb behind the other and hold on tight. Heh, ride together into the sunset. Too bad it was already dark and stars shone somewhere above them, though they never saw them here, in the middle of the city there were too many artificial lights, otherwise it would have been like in the old western movies. The idea amused him to no end.

“Yeah, you are probably as dangerous as a kitten, aren't you.” Cloud grinned, patted the free space behind him and pulled his helmet over his head so Squall couldn’t see his face anymore. “Come, let's drive.” Squall managed to glare angrily for a moment before melting into a smile and climbed behind Cloud. The black monster under them let out a soft roar as Cloud turned the ignition. “Hold on tight.”

Squall had only few seconds time to wrap his arms around Cloud's waist as they already were speeding down the street. He pressed close to the blonds’ back, seeking warmth as he felt the cool night air send chills down his spine. He had been stupid enough to forget his jacket at home when he had left for work. Cloud drove fast and steady ahead the quiet streets, his whole body felt relaxed under Squall's arms, like he was one with the machine. Another new side of Cloud that made him admire the blond even more.

Squall felt himself relaxing and letting his thoughts to drift, trusting Cloud to know their destination. The air was pushing on his face and the sweet smell of the night air filled his mind. He had always liked the nighttime. It gave him time to be alone, to feel more intensively about his surroundings. It was more unreal and that was something Squall had figured he needed in his life; the moments of disappearance from reality and duties. To feel so alive was just one of the little things that made him go on in life.

He had never really thought of himself to be a guy to wonder about little things in other people. Now he found himself thinking how much he wanted to know more about Cloud; what he liked best, what kind of things he hated and what made him happy or angry. Squall had maybe once in his life been with a person he had wanted to know thru and thru. It was starting to dawn on him that despite how strong the physical pull of Clouds was, he was slowly feeling the mental pull too.

Cloud finally slowed down and rolled the bike carefully across the piles of rubble and pieces of fallen buildings around them everywhere. Squall had to blink twice as he saw the destruction so close. He had been away from the town so many years; he had missed the obvious disaster that had struck this side of the town. The bike stopped and Cloud put his feet down pulling the helmet off and looked up at the one building that was still half standing, its figure recognizable. A church?

“Come, let's go in.” Cloud pulled the leg of the bike out and waited for Squall to stand up first, then following him. Cloud walked silently towards the old building. Squall simply followed the man ahead of him, wondering what connection Cloud had to this particular spot in the first place. Their steps echoed in the deserted area. It stuck him odd that there were no signs of anyone trying to clear the shit out. It would have been the first thing the city council to do, wasn’t it? Instead the buildings stood untouched, crumbling, the lonely ghosts of once flourishing neighborhood.

There were no doors left to open, it seemed they were shattered about in small pieces leaving the place open for anyone to step in. The insides of the church seemed to be in same kind desolate state than the outsides were, but in the middle of the ruins there was something glistening in the pale light that poured up from the open roof, or the lack of roof would be better. Squall marveled the serenity of the place, his headache tuning itself down, his senses relaxing, it was like something was soothing his very soul and smiling gently at him.

“What is this place?” Squall managed only to whisper, a louder voice felt like a crime to make, so peaceful the room felt. Cloud had knelt down on the edge of the water that was the source of the shine, the faint glow of it illuminating the pale features. Squall saw the far away city lights reflecting on the surface, forming the soft glow.

“This is where I come when I'm troubled. Not that the church itself represents anything to me, but the place holds fond memories from my past when I was even more confused about who or what I was. Here, I was able to pour some of my troubles to Aerith. It feels..” Cloud inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. “It feels like she’s still around here. I know it’s bordering mental to think so because..” Cloud's voice died suddenly and there was a pained emotion raw on his face. His eyelids half closed, watching the surface of the water move slowly in the breeze that blew gently thru the church.

“What happened?” Squalls mind went blank for a split second when he thought this was the proof of Cloud being nothing but a straight guy. Then he realized the past tense Cloud was talking and relaxed slightly.

“Aerith was a close friend and a good person who believed everything could be overcome with just a little bit of patience and caring. But she died.” Cloud looked up at Squall who was standing near him. “She died in the hands of a lunatic who found it funny to stick a dirty great sword thru her body and then dispose of the body by sending it down the river that runs outside the city.” Cloud had end up talking so openly Squall was left feeling nothing but shocked. “Me and a couple of my friends assisted in the capturing of that person and he is locked away. She didn’t deserve that kind of an end..” Cloud sighed and trailed the glistening surface with his fingers. “Sometimes, when I feel really bad, I come here and decorate the place with white lilies. It’s like she’s still here, somewhere. But I’m not mad or anything.” Cloud finished with defense in his voice and looked up.

Squall saw the brilliant blue eyes looking at him like they were the depths of the sea itself, glimmering, and gathering tears to be shed down the smooth cheeks. It was too much for Squall to bear and he knelt beside Cloud and, after short moment of hesitation, reached his fingers to touch gently the cheek, caressing the skin carefully.

“Hey.. I don’t think you’re mad. Anyone would be upset to lose someone close like that. But you know, I think she’d be pleased with your bringing her flowers here.” Without even knowing how close he had hit with that comment, Squall only saw Cloud's eyes to widen and blink few times, erasing the moistness that had warned about the tears. Cloud seemed to lean in a little to Squall's touch and sighed.

“She did love flowers so much. And this was her favorite place, before it got smashed. I… I just miss her so m…” A finger cut his sentence as Squall had pressed it against the lips and was shaking his head. He knelt next to Cloud and kept his eyes locked with him.

“Don’t dwell in it too much, okay? It’s ok to be sad but this happened years ago, yes?” A small nod. “You’ll heal eventually, trust me.” His voice was barely audible, so lost he was in the blue abysses of the other that Squall didn't even notice he had leaned closer, their faces now only an inch away. Removing his finger from the partly open lips he now felt Clouds warm breath and not being able to resist himself as he reached even further, the dry surface of their lips not quite touching, but being so close they both were nearly tasting each.

Lost in the moment, Squall could only sense something telling him that he should act on his instincts, not to care about rights or wrongs. The only thing that mattered was how his breath was mixed with Cloud's, who had not moved, but had closed his eyes, the air that touched Squall's lips felt like it trembled, how the soft lips were almost touching, in his chest his heartbeat increasing its speed rapidly.

Squall caressed the soft cheek slowly with his fingertips, marveling how velvety it felt, tilted his head to right only a little and pressed his lips carefully forward, gently and so terrified that it would ruin everything about this moment. But there was no protesting, no pulling away, no curses voiced. Cloud seemed to freeze for a moment before a small accepting noise rose from the blonds throat and Squall felt the shy response to his kiss as the lips moved for a better touch.

The mere feel of Cloud was enough to send Squall into heavens of ecstasy, to take the man before him roughly, but he didn't. It would have been close to a blasphemy if he had been harsh now. The blond man screamed with his entire being for soft touches and the sweetest kisses there could ever be. Squall took his time to linger on the soft surface without really moving, examining the sensation it had caused inside him and drinking in the faint brush of air that came from Cloud into his own mouth. He pulled back only for a moment to take a look into Clouds face and trying to see some possible dislike. But he found none. Nothing more than a faint blush over the cheeks and closed eyelids hiding the eyes that would have told him the truth easily. It was Clouds own movement towards Squall that spoke volumes about him having no doubts he wanted to continue a bit more. Squall licked his dry lips and pressed himself back onto Cloud’s lips with a content sight escaping from both his and Clouds throats.

Squall felt his whole body going all warm and fuzzy for this small kiss. It was like his mouth was a piece meant to be right here. He dared to open his lips just enough to have a slow lick of Clouds bottom lip. Clouds breath hitched at this and his lips opened just a little bit as he was accepting the next move. Squalls stomach seemed inhabit fluttering butterflies when he slid his tongue inside Clouds mouth and gently explored to find its counterpart. It felt like someone had lifted him from the floor, so light was his mind now. What sent an electric shiver down Squalls spine was when Cloud responded shyly to his questioning tongue by touching it with his.

Their tongues swirled slowly together, merely exploring the sensations for the first time, deepening slowly to the level where they both raised their arms to take a better hold of each other. Squall sneaked his other hand to Clouds hair, into the midst of the golden spikes and the other behind Clouds back. Cloud had, hesitant at first, took a hold of Squalls shirt with one hand while the other went for his waist. The feel of Clouds hands and fingers on him made Squall moan slightly and to pull their faces closer. Nothing else mattered but the two of them existing in this moment together and breathing the shared air.

 

**Cloud**

For some reason this journey had turned out like this. Cloud had instinctively driven to this place; he almost always paid the place a short visit when he was feeling even slightly confused. He had wanted to talk about something else but instead had spilled one his deepest secrets; him still missing someone so much it made him miserable and weepy.

But now his miseries were being kissed away so gently, him being held ever so tenderly it would have made his knees soft and give out. Luckily he was half-sitting already. Cloud thought that Squall really was like an ecstasy, wrapped into that warm, inviting form and leaving his skin tingling on his neck where the long fingers were touching his hair.

Not even in his wildest dreams had Cloud imagined a kiss to ever be anything like this. Sure, he had kissed before but never like this. It had taken him by surprise, at first yes, but he had been in such state he had completely forgotten he had sworn never to be kissed by Squall again. Of course this kiss was nothing like that brush of lips earlier. Squalls lips definitely sent his defenses crumbling down. Cloud had found his way into the mass of brown hair, caressing the long, silky strands without even realizing doing so, marveling the texture. He fell from his knelt down-position back on his ass to sit legs now straight before him. The kiss broke because of this, only to be continued as Squall crawled on Cloud's lap and with a smooth move brought their lips back together.

They both let out a soft satisfied breath of pleasure when their lips connected again. Cloud felt his head swimming in a foggy place, trying to get a hold of the current things and put a stop to it, but ended up only to feel so cherished and wanted, that he gave up and went with the flow. Squall's weight was pressing against his lap and he was rather thankful that the kiss had stayed enough chaste to keep them from arousing too much. Not that it was far.. Squall had his left hand behind Cloud's back to support him, the right was still massaging his scalp, a gesture that made the blond want to purr in delight, and that intoxicating fragrance of the other filled his nose, going up from there to his head, making him even dizzier.

Cloud had eventually wrapped his arms around Squall's shoulders, taking in the safe feeling he was feeling when embraced like this. Squall felt like one those nights when you wake up from bad dreams and the other is there to soothe your horror and to wrap you into love and tender kisses. Cloud let out a small whine; his heart swell like a balloon with longing and desperate yearning to possess this kind of person for his nights. Cloud felt himself clinging almost desperately to the strong body wanting the ache in his soul to ease.

They merged into one slowly moving mass of hands and sighs of pleasure, fingers lost into the locks of hair, lips whispering muted words of affection and eyes closed to keep the real world at bay even for one long moment.

Slowly the kiss turned to its end, they both taking the last nipping at the opponents swollen flesh, then resting their foreheads together, eyes closed and breathing uneven and heavy. Cloud was lost in his delirium, not wanting the warmth ever to end, but hesitantly opened his eyes and gazed up to see Squall, who was bathing in the pale light thru the roof, eyes like dark portals to oblivion looking straight down at him.

“….” Squall opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t say anything. He only leaned down to kiss once more Cloud's lips, then smiling tenderly. Cloud felt himself melting into a soft smile, something fuzzy making a permanent residence inside him, heartbeats calming down.

“Mm…” If his cheeks were not red from before they sure were now as he was blushing. Cloud leaned forward and hid his face to Squalls shoulder. He felt shy, even after that kiss they had shared, confused too. Could this really be happening? Could he be so easy to get attracted to this person, no matter the sex? Was this just moment of pity on him where Squall had seen his misery as he had been thinking about the lost friend and acted on pity..? So many vain questions, he didn't want to think of them now. He didn’t want to think with his sane part right now, not yet. His yearning for Squalls warmth was slowly fading into an ache in his heart.

“Better?” Squalls warm breath was on Cloud's ear, the air tickled the skin and made him weak, so sensitive his whole body felt right now. He was being held in a tight embrace, sheltered from the world and responsibilities, and he let out a relieved sigh.

“Yeah.” Squall was stroking his back, the fingers drawing the lines of Cloud's muscles. He felt so faint with delight his head was slow to catch up with the reality. Unfortunately the fear in him suddenly lifted its ugly head and made Clouds heart thump few beats so painfully he didn’t know where to look. Questions started to pop up in his mind and made him cringe. His happiness was fading quickly and Cloud felt his body stiffening.

Squall tilted his head back and found Cloud's eyes, loosening his hold. There was something in that look that Cloud had not seen before and he didn't recognize it. He bit his lip confused, trying to find words for this situation they were in. What was this situation anyway? Where did it put them? What did it make him? Was he turning gay? Cloud was suddenly filled with extreme anxiety and yet he felt attraction and want for Squall the way he had not even felt for Tifa before. It made him scared that this was just his own body reacting to friendly touch. Cloud hated feeling scared. He had never gotten so hot by some other guy and it was confusing him badly.

“Hey, are you still with me here?” Squall poked the tip of Cloud's nose with his own. Cloud swallowed hard, snapping back to present and felt a rush of relief and joy when he looked into the eyes before him again. That look wiped all his doubts and panic away in a matter of seconds and he found himself smiling against all odds and nodding in response.

Squall backed up from the Clouds lap finally and sat on the wooden floor before him, the heart shaped face serious and eyes still locked onto the blue ones. It looked like he wanted to say something, but had lost his voice. Cloud marveled the handsome features, eyes fixing upon the scar crossing bridge of the nose.

He didn't even realize for doing so, but found himself soon touching that part of Squall's face, with one finger trailing along with the mutilated surface. Squall had simply closed his eyes, letting Cloud to explore. Wondering how it had gotten there in the first place, he let his fingertips trail down the smooth cheek and brush gently over the lips he had only minutes ago felt almost swallowing him completely. This caused Squall to snap his eyes open and to stare at him with a questioning look. Cloud dropped his hand quickly.

“An old battle scar. I got careless when I was younger.” Squall said calmly, offering an explanation without him having to voice the question. Cloud nodded, he knew how easy that could be. He had been bitten by the blade numerous times.

“So, you want to meet me someday? You know, for that ass kicking you promised?” Cloud averted his eyes slowly from Squall and took a deep breath. What he had wanted to ask was if there could be date in a different kind of setting, but dared not to go there, still having a hard time to believe it had not been girl he felt infatuated but a boy. A man. Squall blinked and cocked one finely shaped eyebrow.

“Uh.. yeah. Sure.” Did Cloud hear disappointment in the others voice? No, he must have imagined it in his own hopeful mind.

“Yeah. Um, great. I have to work on weekdays but we can settle the day on the phone too.. or.. something.” Cloud lost his voice in the end of his sentence, not knowing where to put his hands and what to do with himself. Squall offered a half a smile and nodded.

“Sounds good. So.. what kind of weapon do you wield?”

This was a subject that was safe enough for them to go on about while neither of them really knew how to go back to the terribly tempting kiss-subject. So they discarded the whole matter and got lost into talking about their weapons, techniques and forgetting completely that it was very late and had already been late when they got there.

Eventually they stood up, after having talked enough, falling into comfortable silence. Squall looked around him, scanning the shattered pillars, fallen roof, exploded benches and inhaled deeply. Cloud examined him, wanting to caress that long mane so badly but was hesitant to make a move.

“I'll drive you home if you want to.” And since he was curious to know where Squall lived it most certainly would not be a problem to him. But Squall shook his head, smiling wryly.

“Just drop me somewhere near the club. I need to pick up my laptop from there.”

“Oh, right. But didn't the twins say they'd take care of it?”

“I forgot that you don't know them..” Squall smirked. “There is absolutely not one chance they would have actually taken it with them. Seriously, those two can't remember a blasted thing. Sometimes I wonder how they manage to remember they need to breathe. Especially Sora.” Cloud hid his smile behind his hand. The mental images of the twins doing CPR on each other was rather disturbing and hilarious.

They walked out of the church and Cloud saw Squall taking a final glance at the place, then turning to face him with a small smile on his lips. Oh fuck, why is it so hard to admit that I just want to take him into my arms and kiss him senseless? I liked it, didn’t I? So what the fuck happened after that? Frustrated with himself, Cloud mounted the bike, crammed the helmet on and turned the ignition on. The purr the machine let out soothed his nerves somehow enough to look up at Squall again.

“This place really is something. I almost understand why you say that your friend is still around.” Squall climbed behind him and took a firm hold of Cloud again, the contact of their bodies sending a thrilling jolt thru his body. “Thank you for bringing me over.” Squall's voice was so low and cool, so near again it made him want to push the bike from his hands and tackle the other onto the ground. Cloud sighed, defeated and angry at his own cowardice and drove them out towards the city.

Finally they stood again on the street that they had left, hours ago. It was still crowded with people who were leaving from the club, wandering in their drunken states around the street. Squall stood next to Cloud who sat over the bike, intending to drive home. Squall stood there shuffling on his feet, eyes darting from Cloud to the asphalt. 

“So.. Thanks. For coming.” Squall finally said.

“I had fun. Really.” Cloud smiled, feeling a little tired now, his thoughts running on their pessimistic roads, making him believe there was no way he could be interested in this man and the earlier feeling had been just a moment of confused bliss. But just as he was about to say his farewells Squall stepped closer, took a hold of Cloud's chin and lifted his face up. For a moment he was baffled, but soon felt the soft lips gently sweeping over his own. The touch lingered, like Squall did not want to let him go, a thought that Cloud found he still really liked, but eventually leaned back up and smiled down at Cloud.

“Good night.” And with that Squall walked away, leaving Cloud on his bike and his head spinning like he had been consuming alcohol all night long.


	5. Chapter 5

**Squall**

He was sitting in the kitchen, hair pointing in every damned direction, waiting cranky for the coffee to get ready so he could actually turn on his brains too. He had over-slept this morning and was afraid either of the twins to appear before he could get out of the way. He was not a morning person, no way in hell. He liked to crawl under his blanket just enough long to almost be late, but never was. He just usually felt guilty if he even thought about sleeping long. Ok, so it wasn't even 10am yet, but it still bothered him that he had missed the sunrise.

The bed had been so very cozy as he woke up from his restless dreaming. When he had tried to fall asleep the covers were too hot, but when he kicked them off it was too cold. So he had tried just partially covering himself, but then his legs got cold and the pillow had been too flat too. Obviously he had growled at the items in bed, like they were purposely trying to make it impossible for him to sleep at all. At some point he had eventually managed to fall asleep. Maybe it had had something to do with the counting of pieces of blown up sheep. He so dearly hated those blasted sheep people told you to count.

He had not been able to sleep well. It had been mostly tossing and turning, not knowing how to tune his racing thoughts down. What he was thinking? Well.. Cloud. Obviously. Damn, he was so addicted it felt nauseating already. There really was nothing he could do about it. His head was up in the clouds all the time. Bitterly he snorted at the pun. Up in the clouds indeed. That sweet blush on those pale cheeks yesterday had been the most adorable thing to see. Squall's heart ached, his body tingled and his breath got caught in his throat. All this because Cloud was not here right beside him, waking up to a new and better world with shared happiness in it. All he had gotten out of the bliss yesterday was some bad sleep and a horribly painful morning erection. Small wonder why he was feeling like shit.

The smell of strong coffee filled the room as Squall stared the coffeemaker, trying to make it finish its task faster. Usually this staring contest, which he did lose, every morning, with the machine was plain blank staring, but this morning there was a that haunted soul-look in the stormy depths. Something about Cloud's demeanor alerted him; he just couldn't put his finger on what it was. Tired, Squall rubbed his eyes and got up to take his mug from the shelf. Almost ready... pleeease be faster.. just this once.. pretty please.. yes? No? Damn you coffeemaker!

After a long minute of intense staring he could no longer wait. Squall took the pot and poured some of the black liquid into his mug. He sat back down before the table, pulled the newspaper before him and sipping carefully the steaming coffee, he felt his brains slowly clearing, as if he would hear whirring and clinking sounds of little cogs inside his head starting to turn.

Suddenly he felt like he was being watched. He sighed and without lifting his eyes from the paper he knew it was Roxas. Sora had never been gracious enough to be quiet in the morning, or ever. Roxas stood at the door, watching him. Probably didn't want to approach before he was sure Squall had had enough coffee to not jump on the boy and strangle him.

“Morning Rox. How was he gig?” Squall muttered and heard Roxas let out a breath he had been holding in and moved towards the coffeemaker.

“Good, a lot of people.” Squall heard how Roxas poured milk into his coffee. “But I'm sure the rest of the performances were not even close as interesting to see as you and your friend were.” Roxas said this quite nonchalantly, like it was a matter they came up every morning. Obvious attempt at trying not to piss Squall off. He just shrugged, kept on reading the paper, drinking up.

“Heard anything worth repeating?” Squall asked finally, slightly curious.

“Not much. Girls were enjoying themselves since you and Cloud _were_ rather hot to look at. Not to mention when you were... doing that thing together. The floor was practically flooding with drool.” For this the Squall raised his eyes to Roxas sitting now across him at the table, jaw resting on his knees, legs pulled up against his chest. Roxas looked tired and Squall furrowed his brow.

“Did something happen? You look tired.” But the boy just shook his spiky head, sighing and rubbing his eyes in manner that looked a perfect imitation of what Squall had done before.

“No, nothing like that. Sora just kept me awake because of the nightmares.” Squall made a noise that was supposed to be sympathetic. “He doesn't say much what happens in the dreams, but he did say they are nearly all about our mother.” Oh, right.. The twins didn't know their mother and had come to live with him by an accident. A good accident of course. Squall had come to care for the boys deeply and would have done anything to keep them away from any harm. But to nightmares, even he did not know the cure for.

“They'll stop eventually, I'm sure.” Squall offered the only comfort he could muster. He had bad dreams sometimes too, but Sora was plain scary when he was in the midst of a nightmare. The first time had been back when the boys were only 12 years old and the mere memory still made him shiver and feel very sorry for the younger twin.

There was a noise at the door again and both looked up as Sora walked in, with a sleepy smile on his face and hair possibly even more spikier than usually, wearing his old bathing robe and bunny slippers, generally looking rather adorable. He slumped next to his twin, leaned closer to nuzzle his face to his brothers’ shoulder for a moment.

“I’m fine. Not when I have you two beside me. It's just my head, messing with me. Stupid trauma from being abandoned as a child. But I am sorry to keep you Rox awake.” He yawned and stretched his arm up in the air, then scratching his head and looking at Roxas with eyes still drowsy. “Coffee, please?”

Roxas simply complied, rising to do what was asked and Squall still not believing Sora to be able to be so damn cheery, even after a night of horrors.

“Good morning to you too, Mr. I-won’t-go-to-therapy.”

“Fuck you, Squall.” Sora grinned and took the steaming mug Roxas handed to him. “But seriously, it's nothing. I get over it, like I always do.” Squall cocked one eyebrow and glanced at the more silent and definitely more tired looking twin. Yeah.. most likely Sora was right, but what about Roxas? Squall was sure that the younger twin was slowly reaching his limits to handle his brothers’ nightly madness. His eyes followed Sora's free hand that reached over the small gap between the twins and found its way to Roxas' hand, entwining their fingers into a loose grip. But like always, Sora most likely knew the limits of his brother as well as Squall could see.

For a moment there was comforting silence, each of them having their thoughts turned towards their coffees, letting the morning sun lighten the small kitchen, resting over their tousled hair and soothing weariness away with gentle caress of the golden rays.

“Soooo.... I take it you didn't get any last night since you are able to sit there so comfortably?” Sora suddenly chimed, breaking the peace and quiet.

“SORA!!” Roxas yanked his hand free and slapped his brothers’ head, Squall letting out a groan of frustration and wanting to hit his head to the table. No manners, seriously! So he wasn’t the best father figure out there but he had _tried_ to hammer some manners into the twins over the years. He took a deep breath and looked at the annoyingly smiling boy, who obviously was not giving a shit about being too straightforward and obnoxious for his own good. 

“What? It's a simple question! No need to get angry at me. I can see perfectly well, you know, and my eyes did tell me, and my brother who's into domestic violence so much, that you, my dear friend from the angsty realm, are so badly into this new friend of yours. Very pretty one too, I might add.” A moment of silence and then the boy flashed a manic grin. “I'd fuck him, so why didn't you? Or why didn't he fuck you, since it was clear as this morning is that he wanted you as much?” Roxas was groaning next to Sora, trying to figure should he flee now or stay to watch Squall to beat the crap out of the smaller brunet.

“One word more and I'll ground you for the rest of the year.” Squall tried to sound menacing.

“Oh.. really? But I'm not underaged anymore, so I guess that makes your threat rather empty.”

“........ just shut up. Roxas, tell your brother to grow up, please.”

“Sora, stop being so rude. But Squall, he is right. Why are you alone here and not in bed with Cloud?” Now the twins were both staring at Squall who slowly was gathering dark red on his face, a mix of deep embarrassment and rage.

“Fine!” He gave up and threw his hands in the air. “I don't know why he is not here or me there. There was something between us but Cloud never expressed his possible interest in me that much.” Though the kiss had been eager. And Cloud had been blushing quite a lot every time Squall had complimented the man about something. But still the blond had been restrained, leaving him believing that Cloud was just following Squall's actions but not having any real feelings involved.

“Oh believe me he wants you. I can't believe you refuse to see that! The man is obviously falling for you, no matter that you two only met like a week ago.” Sora crossed his arms before him and smiled knowingly, Roxas nodding in agreement. Squall wrinkled his nose and snorted in disbelief.

“Sure, whatever. But you weren't there to see how he acted aft... um, I mean. Nothing.” He slapped himself mentally for letting that last part to slip from his mouth. Damn, now there would be even more embarrassing questions! He really didn't want to discuss about his romantic life, or the lack of it, with these two. But they insisted on poking their noses into everything and Squall could never prevent that from happening. He loved them to bits, but sometimes he wished they'd just drop it.

“HA! I knew something happened! Tell us everything!” Two pairs of blue eyes glued their intense glare at him and Squall sighed, defeated once more. So he told them about the kiss and how Cloud had reacted the way it made him think the other had just went with him and had no feelings. The twins wrinkled their noses, tapping their lips with one finger, mimicking each other’s moves.

“I think he's confused. Maybe he doesn't know what to do?” Next to Roxas, Sora was nodding.

“Since we can swear on our lives the man _is_ interested in you. Honestly, Squall..” Sora's face looked serious for once. “Maybe he has some trust issues? Do you know anyone who knows him?” Squall had his face buried by now to his hands, a small part of him falling into despair. Soras’ last question making him peer thru his fingers.

“Someone who.. Hmm…I do! Reno knows him.” A smile spread over the twins' faces for this. “I'll call Reno today, but I first have to go over to Cid's.”

 

**An hour later**

“Hey, Cid! Are you in here?” Squall knocked on the door of the garage he knew the blond man nearly lived in. He heard a loud crash and even louder cursing, heading towards the noise. No one else could mutilate words like Cid could.

“The FUCK is wrong with'em bastards who obviously know absolutely a shit 'bout piling them crappy pipes like this!” Squall found the source of the cursing kicking a pile of gray metallic pipes. “Oh, hiya kid. This'll take sum time. Make yerself at home.”

“Need help?”He found the situation incredibly amusing, it never was boring to come and see Cid at his garage where he was building all those parts for his aircraft and other gadgets he had laying around the place.

“Nah, ye just wait. How're ye doin' kiddo? Still havin' them problems?” Cid started to gather the laying objects into one bigger and more stable stack. He glanced behind him at Squall who was leaning against one of Cid's cars that was being ripped into parts. “Com'on, ye can tell me.”

“Mm..” Squall mused for a moment, wondering if it would be wrong to rant about this matter again. He decided it wasn't. ”Well, there is someone I'm interested in, but I'm uncertain of him. You know.. he's kind of shy, brooding and a loner… Don't look at me like that, I know it sounds like me! And he makes me incredibly happy and nervous when he's around and now that he's not, I have trouble concentrating on anything but thinking of him.” Cid had halted his work and was looking at the younger man with a serious face.

“Sounds like ye got yerself in a mess. Who's the lucky lad?” The man went back to his task again, lifting easily two heavy pipes at the same time.

“This one amazing blond guy, whom I met thru Reno. Likes to fight too. And I think he lives with this one girl, Tifa. Don't really know much more..” There was two clanks’ as the pipes Cid had been holding, fell onto the floor and the man himself turning fast to look at Squall with a stunned look on his face.

“CLOUD?! Ye gotta be kiddin' me kid! Ye tellin' me that ye have fixed yer eye on him!” He shook his head and scratched his chin. “Ye two are similar, I hafta admit that. Good luck tho'. Ye gonna need it. Cloud ain't the easiest to get thru to.” It was Squall's turn to stare at his friend, his mouth open and eyes wide.

“You... know him?” He couldn't believe his ears, not for a moment. Maybe he didn't have to call Reno after all.

“Sure as hell I do. Was traveling around with him and sum others few years ago.“ Cid pointed at the top of his head. “Cloud might be a pretty one, but a bloody great with his sword! Deadly too. If I was ye, I'd challenge him.” Cid let out a loud laughter. “But ye gotta remember to tell me if ye do. I wanna see ye getting yer bony arse whacked!”

Squall snorted loudly and crossed his arms to his chest, thinking. He did remember Cid telling him about his past and being a part of a group of some kind of bounty hunters, but he had never guessed that Cloud could be a fearsome opponent. The idea for the sparring was starting to tempt him even more. Squall reached for his phone to write a message, letting Cid finish his cleaning in the meantime.

“Cid, do you know if... If Cloud has had ever been with a guy before?” He asked after a moment of silence. Cid raised his eyebrow and looked up to ceiling for a while.

“Well.. I can't be sure. Cloud won’t really talk about that shit to anyone.” Cid shrugged. “But I think the kid is just lonely.” The man glanced at Squall with a grin placed over his lips. “I might bet me coins for ye though, if ye get thru that boy!” He grinned widely and wiped his hands to his pants. “Now 'tis done! Let's get the hell outta here before I go and kill my friggin' assistants!”

 

**Cloud**

The lazy feeling of doing nothing but staring at his phone and thinking of yesterday was lingering around Cloud's body, making him paranoid and giddy, heartbroken and in love. He had woken up with a smile on his lips, since the dreams had been filled with the images of Squall. But now he was feeling heavy with worry, since he didn't want to fall this easily. But the same time he was light as a feather, head filled with fluff and sweetness. If there was a cure for this madness, he wasn't aware of it. Nor did he know if he really wanted to be cured or to just cut his head off.

He glared at the screen of his phone once again, imagining himself writing a message and actually sending it. Groaning, he closed the cover and tossed the item on his bed. He should do something, instead of moping here.

He made his way downstairs, searching for Tifa but was unable to locate the girl anywhere. It was so quiet here now that Denzel had been placed into new foster home and Marlene was back with Barret. Cloud had liked the children, though he'd never admit it to anyone. It was just him and Tifa. And she was now being very clear that she wanted to have more of her own time and space. So of course Cloud felt useless around here. Without the delivery service which they had started together, he most likely had already moved out to somewhere else. Maybe that was what he should do. To finally get on his own and actually start growing up. He groaned and rubbed the fringe of his nose. Growing up meant taking the lead on his life and place his own needs on top of everything. Right. As if he even knew what he really wanted!

Searching for the newspaper from the kitchen he noticed a note on the refrigerator door.

_Won’t be home until late, go out to eat or go to the grocery store and make dinner. Tell me later how the evening went! -Tifa '_

So he was forced to cook now too. Well, that he could manage, it would give him something to do at least. Half of the morning he had already been obsessively cleaning the upstairs and throwing stuff away, not that he really had much of his own, before slumping at his desk to stare the phone, typing messages and erasing them as quickly as he wrote them. He didn't know how to sort out his head for the matter called Squall.

He had identified his strange fluffiness when thinking about Squall to be nothing more than infatuation. Everything in him screamed the fact to be true, but he was so damn hesitant. Why? Because he was so damn scared he was just imagining it all. It was an irrational fear but it was likely to be true in his case. He had imagined his desire to be with Tifa, hadn’t he? And he didn't go and start being gay just like that for someone he had only met last week. Not that he really was worried about being gay, nothing wrong there. He just didn’t think sudden clarity of mind could just happen with meeting someone new who awoke hidden desires in him. No matter how his heart wanted to open up to Squall, his head didn't follow that fast.

Trying to put his stumbling thoughts in order Cloud tried to focus on what little he knew about Squall. Based on what they had talked and how he had been treated by Squall Cloud had nothing bad to about Squall. First; it was incredibly easy to be with him. Cloud couldn’t remember being more at home with anyone so easily before. Squall had good manners and didn’t pry on his private matters unnecessarily. When they were close, it was easy to feel light, to be a little reckless and imagining on giving in on his hearts desires. Cloud had wanted to be with the man, to merge with him, to rip off the disturbing clothes that had separated them and… He had wanted it so badly it made him slightly faint.

Second; based on the kiss they had shared Squall knew exactly what he was doing. Cloud felt heat rising up to his cheeks. He had enjoyed being the submissive end for once; usually intimate situations had gone on his side with his heart not really in the action. Cloud could even imagine being the receiving end if ever came to that. Not that he was all so keen on being fucked but it was a matter he might be willing do an exception on just for Squall. Cloud moaned into his silent surroundings and gripped his hair. Honestly, he was already planning on giving his ass on plate to the other? For heaven’s sake what was wrong with him!

Trying to calm down a bit Cloud moved on onto figuring out why he wasn’t ok with just asking Squall out. So he had some issues with believing in himself but could anyone blame him for having those? He had lost two of his most beloved friends under very serious circumstances, his idol having had turned out to be the raging lunatic who had murdered Aer. Also, to make it worse; the bastard had tried to eliminate Cloud and everyone else who were involved in the hunt. And now the whole issue with Tifa too. They had been friends since childhood but she had pursued him and Cloud had felt somewhat at ease with her so he had let it all happen. Now he understood his feelings of calm around her to be nothing more than deep appreciation and brotherly love. It was a small wonder Cloud even wanted to hang around anyone after all the hassle in his life.

The current situation being what it was Cloud was forced to admit he would be homeless if Tifa would ever want to sell the bar to someone. That also would mean Tifa might move out of his reach. Cloud inhaled slowly, his heart thumping fast now. She was his rock he trusted to be there thru his life. Would he be able to muster enough self esteem from somewhere to be able to stand on his own? Or would he get stuck with himself again, not being able to rise from the pits of brooding? He didn’t want to slip back to those days.

So if he could not even trust himself, how could he trust anyone else? So many questions he needed to answer.

Cloud sighed, finding the newspaper and fiddled it idly, having already forgotten what he was suppose to do with it. Yeah, he should get to the store and make dinner to get his mind off from this matter for a while. He tossed the unread paper to the table and wandered back to his room to get his wallet. He managed to enter the room just when his phone was blinking, informing an incoming message. For a moment he just stared at the thing, blinking on the sheets happily.

Cloud hoped it would be a message from Squall since the man was at the moment the only good thing his thoughts could cling onto. He took the phone and opened it.

_'I'm challenging you, right now. If you happen to be interested in trying to kick my ass, I'll be around the fields at the north border, straight down the Highway 8 and out of the city. Can't miss me since there's nothing else there.'_

Cloud grinned widely. Now that was something he knew how to react to! If there was a way of knowing if they would even match, a good old sword fight would be the one. It was a good thing he had prepared Fenrir yesterday fully already, he would be able to leave immediately if he wanted. Typing an answer, Cloud half ran out of the room.

_'Challenge accepted.'_

Soon there was only the roar of the bike heard as the blond owner sped away, dinner forgotten completely.

 

**30mins later**

Cloud had no trouble finding his way to the fields where Squall said he would be waiting for him to show up. All the way there, he had been thinking how perfect it was to fight the other, that it was probably the best, and only, way to find out what Squall was really made of and could Cloud put his trust into the other, like his heart already told him but his head refused to believe.

Fenrir let out last soft purr before Cloud shut the engine down and parked the bike on the small path that led further to the area. Cloud could see Squall standing there but… He wasn't alone. From what he could see, this other person looked disturbingly familiar in Cloud's eyes. Hesitantly Cloud waved his hand in response as Squall had noticed him and walked towards with the yet unknown person trailing behind the brunet.

“Hey. Good to see you again.” Squall offered a small smile to Cloud who nodded, eyes following the second man. He felt his jaw slacken and drop a little.

“Um. Hi Cid.” He eyed the older blond that was standing a little left from Squall, paler blue eyes twinkling deviously.

“'lo kid. 'sup?” Cid grinned back at him, winking.

“I.. uh, came to see Squall. You two know each other?”

“Hell yeah! The kid is brilliant with computers and was working at my old firm in Twilight Town.” Cid leaned to his spear he rarely went out without and chewed on his lip, eying the two younger men. “I kinda invited myself here after the dummy here said he's gonna kick your butt. Well, try at least!” His grin turned into laughter. Cloud could only roll his eyes.

“I'm sure you did..”

“So, knock yourselves out kid's! Imma gonna be judgin' yer fight, from safe distance anyway.” Something in the way Cid was looking at Cloud and Squall, made the blond feel a little nervous. Squall was quiet, fiddling the handle of his weapon. Cloud fixed his eyes on the item, deciding it was definitely the most peculiar looking weapon he had even laid his eyes on. It reminded Cloud of Yazoo, his old team mate from high school who had wielded similar blade. Thought this one here was much a more simple design and without the unnecessary little parts Yazoo had attached to his version. And of course, the weapon suited Squall so damn well.

“Can I see that?” Cloud asked, his voice obviously bringing Squall out of his reverie. Squall looked like Cloud had asked him to remove his arm and hand it over, which made him smile inwardly; a true mark of a warrior.

“.. sure.” Squall handed the weapon over to Cloud who took it and eyed the smooth silver surface. There was a carving of a roaring lion's head, the image reminding Cloud immediately of Squall.

“I won’t use my whole weapon against you; Buster would slice this beauty into bits too easily. So I'll just measure the weight of this one and take one or two parts to match. “He smiled a little to the worried expression on the others features. “I won't break your blade, don't worry.”

“No.. I just.. I didn't.. Argh.. Whatever.” Squall turned his glare to the ground, embarrassed.

Cloud chuckled softly, took few steps away from the two men and swung the blade in the air, testing its weight and balance. It was a good weapon, thought it looked rather weird with its rifle handle. For him it was unexpectedly easy to wield. Though, Cloud had been using swords many, many years. He swung the blade again before him, the sharp edge cutting air with smooth whooshing sound. Sharp too. Squall obviously took very good care of the weapon.

Cloud sent the weapon up into air with an easy flick of his wrist, the silver surface glimmering in the faint light that poured thru the clouded sky, and then quickly resuming the handle back to his hand. Very nice work, indeed. Cloud straightened his arm before him, the same height as his eyes were and peered to the tip of the blade, one eye closed.

“You said yesterday you can't make it actually shoot the bullets?” Squall was looking at him, eyes dark and a faint blush on his cheeks and shook his head.

“The upgraded version can do that, but I can't afford it. Too damn expensive.” Cloud nodded, spun the sword once more and then handed it back to its wielder, the hilt first.

“I know the feeling.. Took me two years to get this version of my Buster together.” He opened the front of Fenrir, revealing the hidden pieces of his beloved sword and took two of them out. After few clicks Cloud had a matching pair for Squall's weapon in his hand, ready for use. Squall whistled quietly eyeing the rest of the sword hilts left in the bike.

“Can't wait to see them all put together.” Cloud's proud grin was enough evidence for anyone to know how much he loved that weapon of his.

“Shall we then?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Cid**

Cid had positioned himself in near distance, to keep himself safe from their fight and still to be able to see how well would the battle would turn out. Squall eyed Cloud, who was standing calm before him, about ten feet away, his sword resting over his shoulder. The blond looked at ease, like nothing would affect him, like nothing would cut thru his blank expression. Squall wore a similar unreadable expression, his gunblade resting in his hand deceptively loose, like he could care less about the current situation. But when Cid looked at Clouds brilliant blue eyes, glaring at Squall's gray blue ones.. He saw a fire burning that meant only one thing; the two were definitely enjoying the situation more than they expressed.

“Ready kids? 'k! GO!”

Neither of them moved first, they simply stared at each other trying to figure their first moves, trying to concentrate on this moment without distractions. Cid's eyes moved between the two men, seeing so many similarities in the way they were standing, the way they held their weapons, the way they sent out an aura of stubborn will to fight to the bitter end. He wished there would never be a situation where the two would be on the opposite sides for real. This was only for fun, but he knew how easy it was to get caught up in the heat of the fight. Lucky for the two, he was here to see there would be no fatalities.

Two low growls emitted from the facing men and they lunged finally ahead. At first it was careful movement, measuring each others’ tactics and the power of the wielding arm. There was a sharp and lonely clank when the blades met first, neither men really striking for real yet. They backed down, eyeing each other, circling slowly around. They both shared enormous amount of patience in battle situation; that Cid knew from his own experience when he had been in similar situation with them both.

It took only a half a minute for them again to lunge towards, both swinging their blades in the air with more force this time. Now there was no backing up and the two continued to strike without a pause.

Cloud was faster than Squall, his lithe body moving swiftly and dodging the blows Squall aimed at him, the silver of his sword countering the gunblade each time without any trouble. The blond took a few steps back, the flat of his blade working marvelously to deflect each attempted strike. Squall growled, like a lion that was being annoyed and spun his gunblade, its perfectly aimed blow meant to end up on Cloud's shoulder and to disarm him. Again the blond countered the attack.

Where Cloud had more dexterity and stronger arms to wield his sword easy, Squall was cunning and had more calculated moves, usually the blows were hitting so close their aimed marks it was amazing that Cloud managed to even get away from them. Cid smiled as he saw very clearly how well matched the two men were. Probably equal when it came to fighting skills.

Cloud had dropped his defensive demeanor and moved with much more force against his opponent, the sword moving lightning-fast now, making the brunet to parry each attempt to hit him. It was mesmerizing to watch these two to fight. It felt like seeing some weird, serious dance, where the opponents got hurt and were bleeding. The weapons slashed the air and cut the fair skins lightly as they both managed to get thru the defenses time to time.

The battle seemed to last forever, neither of the fighters ceasing from attacking nor countering the strikes. Sweat was glistering on the bare arms, the fabrics of their shirts got stuck because of it to their backs and chests, but not once did they stop. And all the time they kept staring at each other, trying to make the other yield by sheer force of their glare, keeping up the relentless attacks.

Cid was pondering Squall's confession of him fancying the stoic blond. Knowing Cloud for years, he knew it was hard to gain the blonds trust, but for what he saw here, was something he had not expected. Cloud was making an eye contact with Squall, not flinching away from the look like he had done only few years ago. The most remarkable notice that Cid did, was that Cloud was actually smiling widely during the sparring. A genuine smile that spoke its own tale about what was happening to the other, and it was happening fast.

By looking at Squall, Cid noticed a same kind of change in motion. The brunet was also grinning widely, the whole being of the young man radiating the eagerness to be present in this precise moment. He had known them both years by now and knew when two people were meant to know each other. It was good to know there was always someone for you too, no matter how much of a loner you were.

The two were now circling again, breaths heavy and locks of hair glued to their faces, eyes fixed on every move they made.

It was either tiredness or something else was distracting Cloud -and Cid was willing to bet his money for the latter- because suddenly Squall had found a way to get thru the defenses of the other and had kicked the blond in his stomach, sending him flying backwards few feet. The hard impact with the ground seemed to empty Cloud's lungs and before Cid could blink twice, Squall was standing over the other and the tip of his gunblade pressed against the blonds’ throat.

“Yield.” Squall's face was made of victorious grin.

“Like hell I will.” Cloud snarled from his laying position, quickly launching his left leg high, kicking Squall with force to his stomach, forcing him to bend forward in pain and giving Cloud the few seconds he needed to regain himself and flee from his near defeat. He stood the tip of his sword pressed to the ground a few steps away from Squall, who was leaning to his knees and trying ignore the pain the kick had left.

“Dirty tricks, I like it!” Squall growled and at the same time they both lunged forward, swords meeting in the halfway in similar dazzling movement; sparks flying to each direction for the impact. Their blades were dancing that deadly dance of theirs with such speed it made Cid hold his breath and fear there would be some serious injury if either of them was foolish enough to get lost in their thoughts.

After an hour or two, the fighters were still at it, the shirts they wore were so soaked with sweat it was as if they had been running in pouring rain the whole time. Cid was certain the fight would never end because they were too skilled to yield to either and too stubborn to accept a tie. Although he enjoyed watching this waltz of blades, it was obvious the two men were getting nowhere but to blasted exhaustion and very, very sore muscles tomorrow. It was time to interfere.

Cid had always his spear with him and now he sneaked towards the berserk struck young men, who were too much into their fight they noticed nothing until it was a little too late. Squall went down first when Cid whacked him in the back of his head, the brunet looking stunned for a moment and then dropping on his knees and falling on his face. Cloud got the same treatment few seconds later and looked about as confused as the other had before falling on the ground next to his friend 

Cid sighed, grinned and fetched his phone from his pocket, eying the two men who were facing each other, looking rather adorable like that. Helpless like little kids. The older man snorted and wished them both good luck in the matters of their hearts, hoping it would not take a century for them to get thru each other.

“'lo Roxie! Yeah, it's your uncle Cid here. Wanna com' and get ye stupid roomie from the fields? Ahaha, he got into fightin' with Cloudy boy 'ere and they wouldn't stop so I knocked them out!” Cid laughed hard when there was similar cackle on the other side of the phone call.

 

**Sora & Roxas**

“Honestly, how stupid can you be..” Roxas muttered as he and Sora were trying to drag Squall up to their apartment. The task seemed to be impossible since they were so much smaller than this pile of muscles.

“Yeah. And seriously.. how heavy can you get by not eating enough! Sheesh.. Squall should lose some weight.” Sora was trying to keep his balance and at the same time trying to drag the man ahead. He eyed the stairs they should still climb and moaned. “Rox, I can't do this! And there's that blondie still to carry also..” He eyed his twin, pouting, over Squall's drooping head. “I'd rather carry you.”

“I know. But we can't leave them sleeping in the car either.” It had started to rain when they were driving out of the city to pick up the unconscious pair and to see Cid laughing his ass off. “We could wait for Cid to get here.” Roxas eyed his brother, the same way he was looking at him. They dropped their heavy package without really caring if the package would get hurt in the act. Squall had never died because of little bruises anyway.

“Cid probably took Cloud's bike for a ride...” Sora snorted and sat on the stairs, Squall lying there, in a very uncomfortable looking position face on the wooden surface. “Can't blame him though. I'd give a lot if I could take that beauty for a ride.” Roxas was nodding, looking out from the door that was open, their car parked there and Cloud sitting limb on the backseat.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the raindrops hitting the asphalt outside. It seemed to get heavier.

“He should be here already.” Roxas sighed. He looked at the older man, lying on his face and felt a little bad for him. “Cid did hit them quite hard. I don't think I've ever seen Squall this badly out.”

“Yeah. It’s good he's got a thick scull. Maybe it has gotten thinner during the time we've lived with him? I mean.. we kinda have thrown stuff at him over the years.” The memories of their shared time together flooded back into Sora's mind and the boy smiled softly. “I really don't like to see him getting hurt, you know? Makes me mad, or something.. So, I guess if these two idiots end up more than fooling around and Cloud makes Squall sad or hurt, we'll have to get him back with all our might.” A lop-sided grin found its way to Sora's lips.

“I guess. He's the closest thing we've ever had for a relative.” Roxas reached to stroke Squall's long strands gently. “I don't want him to get hurt either.” He glanced at his brother. “And I don't want you to get hurt either.” He whispered quietly. Sora sighed and stood up, climbing over their older friend and to stand before his twin.

“Getting all soft and mushy now, aren't you.” Sora reached out his hand to touch Roxas' chin and lifted it up so he could look into the blue eyes that were the mirror image of his. “I won't get hurt as long as you're here. You know I can't live without you.” The look in their eyes spoke about a story of its own and Roxas reached up and trailed one finger over Sora's smiling lips.

“I..” He never managed to end his sentence when they heard Fenrir's roar echoing from the street and into the corridor, startling the twins out of the moment they had frozen into.

“Helloooo, ye boys 'ere sumwhere?” Cid's voice shouted from outside. “Need help with carryin' the dummies up?”

“We're here, inside!” Sora shouted, turning on his heels and walked towards the door where Cid had emerged to. “Squall's way too heavy for us. What did you feed him, seriously?” Sora grumbled making a disapproving face. “He weighs like there's two of him under his skin!”

“It's all muscle kid! Summin ye never find in yer thin little body, obviously.” On the stairs, Roxas stifled his snicker at Cid's comment and stood up too 

“Oh hush, I look fabulous and you know it too. You just wish you'd still be young and fresh like we are.” Sora grinned widely. Roxas just shook his head and sighed dramatically rolling his eyes.

“Both of you.. shut up and let's get Squall and that other idiot into the apartment.” Cid and Sora both looked like they wanted nothing more than just leave the unconscious duo where they were and run out to do whatever suited their childish mentality at the moment. Roxas glared at the two, one eyebrow raised and folded his arms before him. “Well?”

20 minutes later there was a moment of silence as the three men steadied their breaths, Cloud and Squall lying over the couch in the living room, heads resting against each other on the back of the couch. Cid stood up straight, his back letting out that horrible crackling sound.

“Them should be fine in the evenin'. If Spiky wakes up tell 'im to stay here.” Cid winked eye at the twins. “I'll be leavin' that bike of his here so ye might wanna tuck it in the garage or summin for the night.” The man snickered at the duo on the sofa. “But did them fight well! Haha, shoulda seen it, you two. Them will get together, sum day. Mark my words.”

 

**Cloud**

Cloud did eventually stir from the unconscious state of his and found himself lying on a couch that was too small for a man of his height and made his whole body ache like no tomorrow. He had a killer headache and a strong feeling there was something he did not quite remember at the moment. Until there was a voice next to him speaking to him.

“Cid knocked you out and you are at our place. Squall is in his own room, sleeping. You can sleep there, until your head stops spinning. Oh, and your bike is in our garage, so don't worry. Also your sword is here.” Cloud was almost certain it was one of the twins speaking. Oh yeah, they had mentioned something about living together with Squall. He didn't even want to open his eyes so he drifted back to unconsciousness.

 

**Next morning**

The garage door closed automatically behind him and Fenrir let out its last purr before Cloud turned the engine off and parked the bike to its place, next to Tifa's car. There had been quite many calls from her, few messages too, when he finally had woken up from the dizzy sleep. He had tried to sneak out but had soon realized he didn't know where his bike was hidden. So he had waited for someone to wake up.

It had been Roxas, luckily, who let him out of his misery and after he had apologized deeply for all the trouble he had been, to all this Roxas had shrugged and just smiled at him. He had quickly mounted the bike and driven out on the streets. The morning was foggy and Cloud had strolled slowly down the streets, trying to gather whatever there was left of his dignity. Well, it had been definitely fun, until Cid had done his tricks to them. He wondered how Squall was doing, since he felt a little guilty for getting too absorbed with the fight that he didn't notice they were going a little too far. His head was still sore from the back and his muscles, dear lords, they were more achy than in ages! His musings were interrupted as the door that led inside the house slammed open.

“Where the HELL have you been?!” Tifa yelled, her dark eyes shooting deadly daggers at Cloud who tried to dismiss the painful reaction the loud noises created in his head. “I've been trying to reach you since last night!”

“Got a hit in the head and was out of this world. Spent the night at Squall's.” He was mumbling fast, trying to speed the conversation ahead so he could get to the painkillers that were calling for him in the bathroom.

“WHAT?!” She was definitely getting even more angry, which Cloud most definitely hated. “And who the DEVIL, is Squall?”

“Tifa, please.. Stop yelling. I'll tell you everything as soon as I get a painkiller first. My head hurts like there is a hammering little monster working on my brains.” Tifa eyed him suspiciously. “Fine, it was Cid that whacked me in the head and Squall is a guy I met thru Reno. Happy now?”

“Wh..What? Cid? What’s he got to do…” She was getting rather repetitive and Cloud stayed quiet, glaring at her. “Fine, fine.. I'll wait, a little while longer.” She shuffled for a moment on her feet, looking at the floor and then flashed a softer smile at the other. “Coffee?” Talk about mood changes. Cloud could only nod, grateful.

After a glass of water, two little pills and a long-story-short-talk with Tifa, Cloud was now seated at the kitchen table, a steaming cup of coffee in his hands and a gaping Tifa on the other side. He felt like a prize idiot, for telling her about everything else, but not about the kiss between him and Squall. It was bit too personal for him to share even with Tifa.

“So… you're saying that Squall, is an old employee of Cid's, not dangerous at all to hang out with and.. is responsible for all those little wounds over your arms and torso? Honey, you got knocked out while being with him. I don't care if Cid likes him and don't care if you like him or not.. he's definitely not good for you!” Tifa fumed, frowning.

“But he did kind of rescue me from Reno’s attempt to get me absolutely wasted. And he didn't do anything on the evening when I went out to see him at the club!” Only kissed him and made his interest wake up. A pink color tried to make an appearance on Cloud's cheeks. “And Cid did whack Squall in the head too, so he's not to blame about that. And I don't, you know... LIKE him.”

“Oh sure. Is that why you are blushing?” Tifa grinned at him and winked, her rage winding down as she found more pleasure in teasing her friend. Then she whistled as if realizing something. “But you do! Don’t you darling? You actually DO like that guy!” Cloud felt his jaw drop and his face flush. “It's ok sweetie. I know what goes in your pretty little head. One day you can say it aloud, trust me. “ She smiled deviously. “ Well, are you going to see him again, hmm?” Cloud tried to hide his feelings behind empty glaring at her. Too bad those glares didn’t work anymore; she knew him too well to take it seriously.

“Don't know.”

“Well, don't play too hard to get or he won't take the bait. And don't look at me like that! I can see it from you face that you want to meet him again.” She was relentlessly teasing Cloud and enjoying it too, it was visible to see her joy radiating from her face. He could only frown at her delight.

“...” Cloud stared at the surface of the table, trying to ignore the words. And to ignore the shivers that ran thru him as he thought about the possibility of seeing Squall. What would the Squall say after a match like that? “By the way.. Where were _you_ yesterday?” A change of subject, always a good way to escape from your own humiliation.

“Oh.. me? Mm.. I hired a new staff member. Too busy to keep it under control by myself and since you have hands full with the deliveries.. I needed help.” Tifa sighed, fiddling with her hair.

“What happened to that… fellow who was there already?”

“He quit because his family is moving to another town.” Tifa shot a little nervous glance over the table. Never a good sign to see her nervous. Something was definitely up. “It's Elena.”

“....” Cloud was only able to stare at the other.

“Hey, don't look like that! You hang out with Reno. It's not like she's going to knock me out of it anyway.”

“Uh huh, yeah. Right. And I'm the Shinra president.” He cocked one eyebrow. “I would not be surprised if she actually _would_ knock you out. Tifa, she's so terribly clumsy!”

“But she's changed since the last time you saw her. Which was, by the way, over two or three years ago. She's got experience; she's nice and has her way with people. Plus, she doesn't want a big pay.” Tifa snorted, tilted her head to to right and looked out of the kitchen window, out onto the streets. “I needed someone to help me, that's all.”

Cloud nodded at this, still trying to figure what it was that was bothering Tifa so much since it was obvious it wasn't the Elena thing. He waited, patiently. His coffee was getting colder, the silent voices from outside the house filled the room that was soon bathing in the morning sun. He liked these rare, quiet moments with Tifa. She moved on her chair, again sighing deeply.

“You know you'll end up telling me anyway at some point.” Tifa jerked her gaze back to Cloud who was offering her a little smile, over his cup he held with two hands before his mouth. The brown eyes were shooting daggers again.

“Nosy bastard..” Then the daggers were gone and her eyes melt into liquid chocolate. “Oh well.. I got asked out.”

“Oh.. like for a real date?”

“Yes, dummy. Like for a real date.” She didn't sound very convincing though, looking at her cup and biting her lip like it wasn't the truth she has just told.

“So.. Who's the lucky lad? I mean.. I gotta know these things so I know who I have to drive to hospital this time.” Tifa's face was fun to watch when it turned from nervous to furiously annoyed and blushing.

“If you are referring to that one little accident last year..” She snared, venom dripping out of every word. “It was an _accident._ It was not my fault he was standing so close to the edge of that bridge.”

“Uh huh, indeed. And you just happened to be very pissed off when you called me to pick you and.. uh, your date up.” Cloud had hard time not to show his grin that was about to spread over his face. “You know, I still don't know what he did to you.” Tifa glared at him in response, obviously not going to share any information. “Fine, fine. Don't reveal your secrets. But who is it this time?”

“No one you know. End of story.” She stood up, her cheeks bright red and sniffed. “And you, go and take a shower. You don't exactly smell like a bucket of roses and it's making me lose my appetite!” At this, Cloud burst into laughter and stood up too. His phone vibrated in his pocket.

_“Fucking brilliant battle. Though I think I have to kick Cid's ass for hitting me in the head. Twins are laughing their asses off because of that. By the way, who won? And more importantly; when’s the next time? -Squall”_

Cloud's laughter turned into a wide grin. He looked at Tifa who was looking at him with a weird expression over her pretty face. The blond nearly danced around the table, gave Tifa a small peck on her cheek and danced ahead, towards his room. The girl just stared after him, blinking.

“Men..” She smiled gently. “I'm so going to have to call Yuffie about this.”


	7. Chapter 7

**A few months later**

 

**Cloud**

Cloud woke up his neck sore and eyes possibly glued together since they felt so heavy to open. He groaned, yanking his gaze open and regretted it immediately. Aw, fuck! Stupid sunlight. He peered thru his fingers he had lifted to cover his hurting eyes, trying to figure how he had gotten here. The last thing he could remember was the blinking and flashing lights at the bar, loud music that now made his ears ring. His sore neck awakened some recognition in his groggy mind. There was only one couch in this town that made his body ache this badly after a night spent on it.

He was sleeping on the couch at Squall's and the twins' living room.

Why was he here, remained a mystery to him still, as his hang over'ish head was a little too blurry to think straight yet. Running a careful hand thru his spiky hair, he felt a thundering headache to approach his poor brains. Oh god.. He was so badly dehydrated, and that brought back the memories from yesterday. Right. He had been drinking heavily last night. With Squall and the twins. Never a smart move, really.

They had been celebrating, or mourning as Squall had put it, the last year before they just had to crow up finally, both of their birthdays, as they were born so close, and if Cloud recalled correctly now, Squall had downed quite fast and quite many beers. And had forced him to join in the merry drinking. Why do I let him talk me into everything he suggests… Cloud flinched as he sat up and rubbed his temples gently, trying to force himself to the kitchen. After a deep breath he stood up, his stomach informing him that he was better off not eating anything before few hours of sleeping more, and slowly made his way towards the heaven called water.

After he had downed almost a liter of the sweet liquid, he felt slightly better and calculated the situation again. If he was here, then the twins were sleeping their own room and Squall in his own. Cloud leaned against the sink, sipping the water from his glass. It was nothing new that he was here these days. After the first match he and Squall had had, they had made some silent, mutual agreement that they were just brilliant together, like they had known each other always and thus had become inseparable.

They weren't together like couples were, but had quickly become good friends. Yeah, really good friends that shared so many of the daily routines that it made other people call them 'the old married couple' and had kind of 'family dinners' with the twins. And he was always sleeping here, he barely made it to his own bed five times in a month –his sore neck was a living proof of this. Tifa had complained about Cloud never being around when she was, but he knew she was happy Cloud had found someone who enjoyed his company as much as he did enjoy theirs. And she could not accuse him for not doing his job either, since he went there every morning to check out the lists and did what he had to. He just never stayed long enough to catch up with her, or to sleep in his own bed. The whole autumn had been all riding back and forth, but definitely worth it.

So, now that he knew where he was and why, the most logical thing would be to clean up and make coffee. Cloud ventured to the bathroom, took off his shirt -and wanted to throw it into flames as it was rather stinky- and looked into the small mirror above the sink. He looked again and blinked. Blinked twice more. What the hell..! Touching just above his collarbone he grimaced as the place felt tender for the touch. A hickey? Now seriously… How wasted had he been to have been in a state of receiving this and not killing anyone? Well, at least there was no blood on his clothes anyway. Cloud stared mesmerized at his reflection few seconds then shrugged and took off the rest of his clothes and stepped into the shower.

The cool water soothed his throbbing head and aching muscles. Seriously, why did he always end up sleeping on that blasted couch? The guys really should get a new one and fast, his precious neck could not endure this torture much more. The obvious fact that he could always sleep in his own bed slid past his thoughts without him even noticing it. Or that he could go and sleep next to Squall because the man had enough big bed for two people to sleep in. But Cloud had never dared to venture on that territory for real, no matter how often his thoughts did.

Cloud shamelessly borrowed Squall's toothbrush, he didn't really like the taste of road kill in his mouth anyway. What was the point of drinking yourself to unconscious state, burn a load of money, you could have spent well better, and then next day end up having really upset insides? He did remember now why it was that he never really wanted to drink. Drying himself he eyed his dirty clothes feeling plain disgusted. There was no way in hell he would put them on again. Maybe he could borrow some from Squall. Cloud wrapped the towel around his waist, gathered his clothes into a pile, dropping it into the laundry basket and sneaked towards Squall's room, wishing the twins to be sound asleep and not bumping into either of them half-naked.

The door let out a small creak as he opened it slowly and peered inside. There was the computer table, the laptop still open, whirring softly, the grumbled piles of discarded clothes on the floor, creating a path to the bed where the Squall was sleeping soundly, one arm over his head and blanket covering only the half of his obviously quite naked body. Cloud grinned. Squall would skin him alive if he knew Cloud had been watching him sleep without clothes.

Cloud slid into the room and quietly made his way to Squall's closet where he knew the brunet kept his clothes, all neatly folded, just like they should be. Also, he tried to avoid looking over at the bed; it would just cause him more problems to see the other so very unclothed. He found a pair of boxers and a black t-shirt that was a little too big for him, Squall had wider shoulders, and dressed himself as quietly as he had padded his way there. He turned to observe his sleeping friend the wet towel in his hand, trying to control his thoughts enough to prevent the evident path towards naughtier areas.

Of course, the attempt was rather futile.

Squall really had an amazing body, it was lean, strong and all the muscles were visible if you bothered to look closely, and that Cloud did now, with a grin on his lips, and the man emitted an aura of caring, which made him want to crawl into that embrace and to be held close. The skin looked smooth and soft, the arms had fading tanning lines from wearing only a t-shirt last summer. The chest moving with breathing, the flat stomach and below that.. Cloud had to basically slap himself from exploring any further. It wouldn't be a good idea to get a hard on in the presence of the object of his desires, now would it. He had come into terms with him being stubbornly attracted to Squall but had never done anything to deepen their relationship.

He sighed and pondered if he should finally make the coffee and prevent making himself an enormous idiot. Though.. He bit his lip as he looked at the comfortable bed and its owner, a feeling of longing sweeping thru his body.

Maybe he could.. Yeah, just for a while. He would get up before Squall would stir from his slumber.

Carefully, after he had placed the towel over Squall's chair, Cloud let himself to climb into the bed, next to the man he wanted, but didn't know how to express his feelings and laid down. Squall's body smelled familiar, safe even, it was a mixture of being in the bar last night, the sheets he laid on and that very own fragrance that only Squall had. Wanting to drift back to sleep, soon after he had curled himself as close to the warmth he dared, his head resting on the same level as Squall's chest was, but only on the mattress. He didn't dare to touch the other; that would only lead to trouble.

Squall moved in his sleep, as if he was aware of Cloud's presence, turned to his side, now facing the spiky hair, raised his arm to wrap it around the blonds shoulder, pulling their bodies together and mumbled sleepily into the hair that was most likely tickling the brunet's nose.

“You smell nice..” And then he was back in his sleep again, breathing even and steady. Cloud had frozen when Squall had so easily blocked his way of escaping, realizing there was no other option but to rest here, unless he wanted to wake Squall up, in this sleepy embrace and inhale that fragrance that made his mind all fluffy. Finally he melted into the touch and let the sleep take over him, giving in to his desire to nuzzle his face to Squall's chest. Probably the best way to get rid of your hangover anyway.

 

**Squall**

Sunlight was tickling his closed eyes very persistently, trying gently to kiss him finally awake, as the day had turned to midday already and yet he was sleeping, despite his disgust for late waking up. Not really paying attention to his surroundings Squall took a deep breath; yawned and wrinkled his nose. He really hated the taste of dead rat in his mouth.

He tried to feel if he had a bad hangover from yesterday, he did remember drinking quite a lot, but there was no end-of-the-world-nausea hitting thru him, yet at least. Trying to stretch his numbing arm under him, he finally realized he wasn't alone in his bed. What the..? The blue eyes flew open and were greeted with a mass of blond spikes and softly snoring Cloud in his embrace. Oh please don't tell me the drinking has made us to do something we'll regret.. He had blank spots when it came to yesterday night and this certainly didn't help at all. Without wanting to wake Cloud Squall tried to steady his breathing and to relax himself, staring thru the hair before his eyes and out of the window, automatically trailing few sleepy fingers on Cloud's back.

Cloud was curled as close as one could, only that Squall was under his blanket and the other was laying on it, which led him into a conclusion that the blond had end up here by some other accident than them having done anything.. sexual. And more importantly, his body did not feel satisfied nor did it ache from certain places, it just felt groggy and stiff.

Cloud had been so damn hammered last night and had been smiling thru the whole night so widely it still made Squalls head spin. Those blue eyes had gazed at Squall with such intensity at times it made him weak from his knees. Cloud was a lot of fun when he let go of his restrains and loosened up, particularly the karaoke part had been interesting. Only bad thing was that he had absolutely no tolerance for alcohol. It had taken three beers to make Cloud stutter. Three! Squall chuckled silently, even Sora was better with alcohol than Cloud.

Cloud moved in his sleep, his nose rubbing against Squall's chest, lips forming words he could not hear. Suddenly the man twitched violently and one arm found its way to Squall's jaw with an audible slap.

“Ow, what the fuck.. Cloud, are you awake?” He tried to look down, but there was only that mass of hair preventing him from seeing anything, but nothing else indicated the other to be awake. Steady breathing hit Squall's bare skin. He rolled his eyes and figured Cloud to be a restless sleeper. This was the first time they actually slept in the same bed together. There was some unspoken fear that if they would sleep in the short distance, there might be a chance of something happening between them, something they, or Cloud to be more precise, weren't ready for.

And now the blond was sound asleep in his arms. Nice thinking Cloud! Though Cloud probably did not know how long and how badly Squall had wanted to wake up like this, how badly it tore him apart for not being able to show his affection completely, only time to time with very small gestures. He wondered if Cloud even knew about his feelings.

But they were good together. Awesome, if you could use a word like that.

They went for training together now, of which Cid had been pleased since now he had more time to play with his machines, Cloud came to see nearly every gig Squall played, spent time with the twins, who seemed to like him as much as Squall did, not to mention how brilliant it was when Cloud cooked for them all, he was a great cook. The apron was one damn hilarious thing also. They shared the same taste in movies and music, liked to joke around and basically were damn good friends. And still Cloud managed to be his own individual personality with his own things to do without Squall, which the brunet appreciated more than anything. He could not wish for anything better. But yet he still did.

Cloud was unreadable, when it came to his feelings towards Squall and it made him rather insane sometimes. He knew his wasted heart was down to the level where it was impossible to not to wait for those good news he wished to hear every day when he woke up and saw the other. He had strong feelings towards Cloud and he was helplessly waiting, neck deep, in the sweet torment that was called being in love.

If there would be mornings like this was in the future, he would wait contently until he would be gray and old. Squall sighed, feeling a wave of something warm washing thru him, making him tighten his hold of the man in his embrace and bury his face to the blond hair, only now noticing it was slightly damp and definitely smelled like Squall's shampoo. He smiled gently into the hair. It was great that Cloud felt comfortable enough around here to do what he wanted, like he actually lived here with them.

It was nice to have another adult in the house, since the twins cared very little about taking care of the chores they were given, instead being the 18year olds they were supposed to be. And the Clouds breakfast waffles were something Squall thought he could most definitely not live without anymore. Mm, food. As nice as this whole laying in bed with unconscious Cloud was, he still had a dead rat in his mouth, he needed a shower and his brains were screaming for caffeine.

With regret Squall loosened his hold of the man in his arms and carefully slid to sit up, legs touching the cool floor, realizing he had nothing on him. Thank goodness Cloud was still sleeping and was not able to stare at his unclothed body. He stretched his arms up in the air, feeling the blood being able to run to his numb arm again and stood up, wrapping his shirt from yesterday around his waist loosely, just in case, and made his way to his closet, picking up clean underwear and his pajama pants. He certainly had no intention getting out of the house today.

From the closet, Squall glanced at the sleeping man, that warm feeling making his chest hurt and stomach having butterflies in it as he let his eyes wander over the curled up body, that pretty sleeping face that looked worry free, over the shoulders where a loose t-shirt hung covering the pale skin. He took another look at the shirt and grinned. It would seem that Cloud had raided his closet. His eyes trailed to the narrow hips and Squall cocked his eyebrow. And my boxers too..? Well well, aren't you getting comfortable around me. He closed the closet door quietly, shaking his head, smiling gently and padded out of the room.

When Squall quietly made his way after the shower towards the kitchen he heard whispered talking and soft laughter that soon was muffled. Squall knew from the voices it was the twins in there, probably standing over the sink with mugs in their hands and most definitely talking about yesterday night. He leaned to the wall, near the kitchen door and decided to eavesdrop a while for the two.

“..saw that mark on his neck? I thought they were going to eat each other.” Sora's quieted giggle was something you'd recognize anywhere.

“Yeah, should have fed them more cake before. I had no idea Cloud detests so badly eating cake.” Roxas sneered.

“Maybe he's afraid of getting fat and thus won't eat?”

“Yeah right. He's in the danger of getting fat, just like you are. Though you eat more candy anyone else I know.”

“Hah, you just like my bony ass having something to soften the blow.”

“Well.. true enough. Although, I don't mind it being bony, either..”

“Hmm.. You're such an awful tease.”

“Like you'd stop me for real.”

“Well, no.. Your fingers are getting dirty, you know.“ And then there was silence. And that silence made Squall worry a little of what the hell were the boys doing in there. Should he just go in and see or should he warn them before? He decided to risk it all and quickly stepped thru the door and into kitchen.

The twins were indeed standing before the sink, face to face but Roxas was having a spoon in his mouth and dripping chocolate ice cream running down his fingers, Sora looking at him with a jealous look on his face, pouting and when he heard Squall stepping into the room he turned towards the older man and let out a noise that usually was heard from little children.

“Squuuuaaaaaall... Roxas says I'm fat and he's gonna eat all of the ice cream and I wanna have some tooooooooo!” Squall sighed, having had some very disturbing images from what he had heard of the conversation and shook his head, giving the boys a glare.

“Roxas, give your brother some of that and stop calling him fat, he's too skinny already. And Sora, stop acting like a 5-year-old.” The twins flashed grins at him and Squall felt like wanting to hit his head to the wall. Why couldn’t his mornings be calm and peaceful, like.. ever? “And either of you better give me coffee soon or I'll whip your bottoms Christmas red.” He walked to the table, pulling a chair for himself and slumping onto it, burying his head to his palms.

“Aren't you a real sunshine..” A sleepy voice called from behind Squall as Cloud appeared to the opening. “But I agree, give him coffee soon or I'll be the one kicking your skinny asses to oblivion. And while you are at it, give me some too.” Cloud walked over to the Squall and sat next to him, briefly caressing Squall's bare shoulders while passing him. “You didn't wake me up and I got cold..”

Before Squall could answer anything there were two shocked gasps from the direction of the twins and Squall groaned as if he was in pain. Cloud, you stupid fuck... should have kept your mouth shut. Now they would have to endure uneasy questions and there would be no escaping from them.

“What! You two slept together?” Sora was clapping his hands together like a little kid, then seeing the blank and embarrassed faces of the older men. “And judging by your clothes, Cloud.. You seem to have misplaced yours. How could have that had happen, hmmm? ” The boy was grinning widely, looking at his twin for back-up. Roxas merely nodded.

“Oh fuck. NO! Sora just shut up.. You got it all wrong.” Cloud buried his face to his hands and tried to ignore the cheering boy.

“Indeed. I just woke up with Cloud's skinny ass all nice and tight in my bed. And _I_ had nothing to do with that. And where the hell is my coffee!” Squall growled feeling way too tired for this kind of conversation. The twins were impossible when they had just woken up.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Shut up Squall. Here. Both of you.” Roxas sneered at the men at the table, handing them steaming coffee mugs. “And Cloud.. Nice hickey.” Immediately Squall turned his head to the man next to him, his eyes darkening with jealousy. Who had dared to touch his.. no, wait.. Not his.. Anyway, had dared anyway!

“Shut up Roxas.. I don't even know who did it.” Cloud tried to hide behind his mug, face turning slowly redder.

“Well.. The culprit is sitting next to you.” Roxas informed him with a knowing smile on his lips. Now it was Clouds turn to snap his glare over to Squall, who had turned rather white.

“WHAT?!” They both growled in unison, not believing it to be true. The twins took their own mugs of coffee and sat on the opposite side of the table, snickering viciously.

“Oh yeah. Should have taken a video of the two of you last night. You were like _so_ all over each other.” Sora burst into laughter and kept going until he was teary.

“We don't know which one started it, but at some point you two had glued your mouths together and nearly fell from the couch you were suppose just sit and drink. And mourn your getting older.” Roxas calmly explained, getting too much pleasure from watching the older men getting more and more paler at first, then starting to turn red.

“I'm sure all the people at the club got nightmares from the way you were nearly ripping your clothes off. So tell me, where exactly I went wrong when I assumed you two had managed, despite your very, _VERY,_ drunken state, to have sex?”

“....” All Squall could do was to shoot murderous glares at the twins, Cloud obviously doing the same and also trying to sink under the table. Oh, he was never going to drink again. Ever. His drinking days were done right now. “Pics, or it never did happen..” He managed to mumble.

“Well... now that you mention it..” Roxas smiled innocently, batting his eyelashes, and then a devious, plain cruel smile spread on his lips. He reached for his pocket and fished his phone out, flicking it open. Cloud and Squall both went pale as Roxas shoved them an interesting little picture. Squall closed his eyes and cursed internally. Never should have gotten up. Never. Next to him, Cloud was paralyzed, one hand clutching the mug, knuckles turning white.

“Now don't get pissed at us, we merely were there to witness this all. Along with the few hundred other people.” Obviously Sora had no sensitivity left for his elders and kept on laughing that evil little laugh of his. “But honestly, you were cuter rather than desperately trying to fuck your clothes on. Ever tried that sober? Well, obviously not, if your faces tell the truth, haha.” Sora said as Roxas was shaking his head, not wanting to participate on his twins word-vomiting.

It was a little too much for the two older men and they stood up nearly at the same time and fled from the kitchen, back into the safety of Squall's room. A roaring laughter followed them.

 

**Cloud**

He sat on the edge of Squall's bed, watching the other close the door quietly after him and then just standing there, leaning that naked upper body of his to its wooden surface, eyes closed and breathing deeply.

“I swear to you, I'll strangle that kid one morning.” Squall exhaled frustrated and opened his eyes that were dark with exhaustion and something else. Cloud wasn't sure how to read that look and he was too busy not to stare too long at Squall's body. Squall seriously should put something else on him, or he would do something that would not end up good. He averted his eyes to the floor and leaned his elbows to his knees.

“Yeah, he could use some ass kicking. Maybe we could bribe Roxas to do it..” Sure, he did love the twins enough to endure their morning-torture, but they had been a little harsh today. He was as shocked about the evidence about their behavior from last night as Squall was, but it kind of annoyed him more that he had absolutely no memory of it. Dammit!

“I guess Roxas could make Sora stop drinking.. He is a fucked up twit when he has a hangover. You know, usually people get grumpy and don't want to talk with anyone, but not with this idiot. Oh hell no.. He get's super-hyper and giddy. Even candy makes him less energetic!” Squall was squeezing his coffee mug so tightly it would soon break. Cloud stood up and walked over to him, touching the hand that was still free. Squall startled and snapped his gaze from the floor to Cloud's eyes.

“Calm down. It's not like the world has come to an end.” Cloud offered a small smile, stroking those cold fingers gently. “We could make his life a living hell instead?” There was a little smile forming to the corner of the tight lips. “You know.. Put frogs in his bed every morning before he wakes up.. or do something to wires laying on their room floor, so he'll get an electric shock every time he tries to fiddle with them..? Or I could have him work for Tifa.. She'd whip him into better manners in no time.” Hah, there it was! A full smile that made that handsome face lighten up.

“You sure know how to cheer me up. The mere idea of torturing that little wanker makes me smile.” Squall tilted his head to his left, the brown hair falling in semi-dried locks over his face. The blue in his eyes in his eyes softened as his stare wandered over Cloud's face and to his neck. “I..” The man leaned forward, without quite meaning to, resting their foreheads together.

It took Cloud by surprise but he didn't, for once, flinch away. He was suddenly full of Squall's scent, full of his clean essence that filled his mind always in such pleasant way. Their gazes lingered together, without really thinking what they were doing, time slowing around them. Maybe it was because they were tired, a little hangover, because they wanted to breath after what had been said, both of them.

“Just forget about them for a while.” Cloud whispered, not wanting to give in to his doubts about how it was not a good thing to stand so close to the other, not such a brilliant idea to inhale this intoxicating fragrance that made his mind spin. If yesterday was true, they had been like this, and much closer, thru the night. Their fingers entwined loosely and Cloud lifted his chin higher, leaning forward until their lips met. He didn't know what he was doing, not really, but it felt like the right thing to do. Maybe it was to sooth the rage and the shock. Maybe it was because he could no longer resist the alluring feeling Squall made him feel. They just rested their mouths, each on the other, not quite sharing a kiss, but almost.

It was Squall who pulled away, the movement was so slow it was hard to tell if he was mad or not for Cloud to do this. Slowly, Cloud opened his eyes, wondering when he had even closed them. The other was peering down at him closely, a silent question visible in his gaze. Cloud blinked and blushed for embarrassment, his hand which was holding his mug loosening. With a silent thud, the mug fell to the floor and spilled its contents over the plastic surface. The magic of the moment had gone with the wind.

“Aw.. crap. I'm sorry!” Cloud took a few steps back and knelt down to pick up the mug. Luckily it did not break. “I need to wipe this with something..”

“I'll get paper..” Squall opened the door again and left quickly. Cloud sighed heavily, cursing silently at his own stupidity for doing something like that. Now there would be an awkward tension between them for a while again. Great work dummy! Scolding himself, he stared at the black liquid on the floor, as if it would take the blame instead. No such luck, though.

His heart was thundering, felt like it wanted to choke, paralyze and wither away. Surely Squall was mad at him now. Why did he have to do that in the first place? It brought back the memory of the first so called date they had and that kiss they had shared. Cloud could still remember the burning sensation when their lips were touching, that warmth that had enveloped him as gently as they had melted together. He could only dream now, right? Only feel this ghost pain for something that would never be repeated in such way again.

What Cloud did not know, dwelling in his own agonizing pain, was that Squall was standing on the other side of the door, one hand covering his mouth so he would not scream out loud, face flushed and more red that ever, his whole body tingling for the touch. He could not think straight, not after that! If Cloud would do that again he might not be able to control himself. He had wanted to lean more in to the touch, to linger closer, to part those delicious lips with his tongue and let the moist flesh meet its pair in the middle and.. Oh fuck. It was not a good idea to get touchy feely with the blond if the results was him getting a semi hard on almost seconds after they had touched.

 

**Few weeks later**

“Be fast ok? SHIT THE FUCKERS ARE ON ME!!” Cloud was furiously whacking the buttons on the game controller he was holding in his two hands. “Die you pieces of shit! Squall, bring me water while you're -oh FUCK DIE!- at iiit!” Squall snickered cruelly as he walked to the kitchen, leaving Cloud in distress with the game they were playing in turns. Twins weren't at home this evening, which allowed the older men to play in the living room, without anyone, like the two annoying pricks, disturbing their peace. Clouds’ yelling was hilarious to hear, since usually Cloud wasn't really all that vocal, but when there was monsters to slay in a game he sure made a noise that was enough to make the neighbors hit the walls.

Despite his good mood, Squall was nervous. The reason why he was nervous lay on the kitchen table now, in its small form. The man sighed, stared at the little item and wondered if he really should remove it from the box and use something like a plastic bag or anything else instead. Sure, the box was pretty and all, but since he was going to give the damn thing to the shouting and cursing MAN in the other room, it was a little embarrassing for the item to be placed in a velvety box. You know, those little boxes you get from the jewelry stores and give out to someone very special.. Yeah, it most certainly made him nervous.

Shaking his head, not really knowing where else to put the present, he simply stuck the box in the middle of the re-filled bowl of snacks. Now that was enough to ruin the possible romantic mood, yes? Velvet versus cheese snacks was always a good way to make things less girly. At least he hoped so. There was no way of knowing what thoughts Cloud would get in his head, at all. Squall decided to just risk it all. Why should he be nervous in the first place? Cloud had given him for his birthday a key chain that looked like the necklace he wore almost always so it was only normal for him to get the other something in return. He should have known back then Cloud would give him something, but had forgotten the matter completely.

“AWW MAN, the fucker just keeps on appearing! Squuaaaaaaaall~! Please bring that ass of yours back here already!”

Like there was any chance of the situation getting romantic when Cloud was in that mood. Squall grinned widely. His siren was calling and he should answer the call, before the siren would kick his ass. Again.

He filled a glass with water, took the bowl, the small box neatly hidden in the center of the snacks and returned to the living room, where he found Cloud making furious impressions, half-sitting and half-standing while trying to get the game forward. Squall looked at the screen, realized where the game was and a devious smile crept upon his lips.

“You're too slow if you can't get past that.”

“Shut up and help me!” Cloud whined looking frustrated and was frowning. It was rather adorable to look at a grown man, getting so worked up because of a PS game. Squall placed the snacks and water on the table before the sofa where the other was nearly jumping up and down.

“Seriously, you just need to be damned fast. Kill the fuckers before that and then just aim almost immediately to the ground where that shadow creature will rise from. And then.. just blast away!” Cloud frowned, bit his lower lip and went on trying to do what was told. Squall sat next to him, waiting patiently. After a moment of cursing and teeth gritting Cloud finally succeeded in his task.

“AHAHAH! See, see! I did it!” Cloud was beaming, both arms raised in victory up in the air and the smile he directed at Squall was enough to make his heart stop. “Oh, food.” Cloud reached for the bowl, handing the controller to Squall, who sat there, stupefied. Cloud dug his fingers straight in the middle of the bowl, probably also getting closer to the hidden item. Squall waited in horror what the reaction would be. “You're not playing.. Oh, hey.. What's this?” The slender fingers had found their unexpected target and were holding the stained box in the air.

“What does it look like...” Squall mumbled and turned his eyes to his lap, fiddling the controller nervously. Cloud coughed next to him.

“Well.. I would take this as a proposal, but I guess you're not gonna do that..” Was there a hint of hidden disappointment in Clouds tone? He must have imagined it, definitely.

“Why would I do that...” It was getting a little too embarrassing for him to handle and if Cloud would not open the frigging box soon he would leap off the couch and flee out of the flat! “Just open the damn thing already.”

“Oi, no need to get aggressive. I know you ain’t having any crushes on me, heh.” Oh, how wrong Cloud was! Squall was inwardly screaming that he would have fetched the moon from the sky for the man if he had asked. There was a small snap as the box was opened. Squall turned his eyes back at Cloud, who had let out a surprised gasp. “Wh.. whe.. OH SHIT.” Those biggest and bluest eyes were fixing upon Squall now, making him feel like he would drown in them. “Where did you find this? Fuck.. And it's not even my birthday anymore.” Cloud picked up the small silver earring from the box, placing it tenderly to his palm.

“I know, but I never gave you anything back then so I kind of.. just found this.” Squall managed a little smile, instead of a huge grin. “Glad you like it.” Cloud shot a glare at him.

“Like it? Hell, I _love_ it!” And then the man was much closer, those soft lips pressed against Squalls cheek ever so gently. He could swear that he felt the tip of Cloud's eyelashes tickling the skin too, but maybe that was a little over exaggerated. “Thank you..” That soft voice so near his ear sent little shivers down his spine.

“Mm.. You're welcome.” Cloud moved away from him slowly and they sat there for a moment in silence, both sharing matching pink over their cheeks. Of course, they never noticed this. From the corner of his eye, Squall saw Cloud taking off the earring he had been wearing and replacing it with the one he had just received. The gesture was enough proof for him the present had been a pleasant one.

“Your turn by the way.” Cloud smiled widely, breaking the silence that had almost turned uncomfortable.

 

**Tifa**

The afternoon was still quiet as she swept the tables and replaced empty bottles with new ones in the bar. Elena had not yet arrived and Cloud was still working out, which left her pretty much alone in the big house. Not that she really did mind being alone, but it would have been nice to see her roommate at least sometimes properly. But she knew Cloud was rather staying over at Squall's place since he had more to do there than just being here and sitting bored in his room. Cloud had always resented at being in the bar when it was open, which, she didn't really wonder. People could be so damn stupid sometimes and Cloud's patience was pretty much non-existing. Tifa picked up the phone after she was done with all the little details she had set out to do and dialed a familiar number.

 _“Kisaragi residence!”_ A high chirping voice answered from the other end of the call and made Tifa smile to herself. It was amazing how someone could be so cheery no matter when or where, or what time it was.

“Hey Yuf's. How's it going?”

_“Wahhh, hey Tifa! It's awesome here! We just finished painting Marlene's room with pink and white. It's pretty damn girly and Barret hates it so obviously. I'm happy I don't have to live under the same roof with those two. Hehe.”_

“I can imagine.” The mere thought of Barret standing in a completely pink and girly room probably full of anything that was frilly and sparkly made Tifa grin widely. “You remember what I told you about Cloud last time?”

_“Yeah! That Spiky has made friends with Leon? Sure I do. What a nice, brooding young man he was. The two certainly deserve each other so well. Or wait, have they broken up already, or did Leon finally kick Cloud's ass? And you know, it still rings weird in my ears when you call him Squall.”_

“Oh no, nothing like that. They're more like living together now.” She drummed the table with her fingers, idly wondering how weird it was to talk about someone with two different names anyway. “Where does the name Leon come from anyway?”

 _“Whaaaaat!”_ Yuffie shrieked so loud, it made her to move the phone further from her ear. _“So weird. And cool, kind of! And the name thingy.. I dunno where the idiot figured it out, maybe has something to do with his weird obsession to that Griever thingy around his neck and on his weapon… but when I met the dude, he used that name. Now that you think of it, how stupid it was anyway! Haha, you know, since his last name is Leonhart it sounds definitely fucked.”_

“Yeah, it sure does sound weird, I'm glad he uses his given name now. The nickname did sound odd when I learned about his last name. And the current situation is odd too.” She sighed. “You are not going to believe what Squall gave Cloud as a birthday present... You know last summer he lost that earring he has been wearing since.. forever, and was rather pissed off because of it?” The memory of the situation still made Tifa grit her teeth, both in amusement and in pain. Pain because Cloud had been an uncontrollable idiot then.

_“Sure I do! It was the time when he tried to remove the floor just to be sure the earring was not under there? That was hilarious to watch, when you nearly punched him in the face!”_

“Squall gave Cloud a matching replacement for it.”

 _“...”_ It was rare for the hyperactive girl to be quiet, ever.

“I know.. And I have no idea where he even could dig out that earring, since I thought there was no other pair for it. Pretty sweet, huh?”

_“If I didn't know the man, I'd say that was more than sweet. You know, more like getting a precious present for someone you rrreally like. Wait, does he like our Spiky like that? I mean, I know he likes guys since there was someone back here that he was, I think, dating.”_

“It's starting to look like so.”

_“I didn't know Cloud was into guys too. Kinda fits though.. Since he's the pretty boy, haha!”_

“It's my own belief that he has always been more into guys than girls. Just think about it, has he ever gone out with anyone? Even me and him, it wasn't really like that. More like good friends offering support when it was needed. Seriously, I feel like his sister, or mother, if it gets really bad. The problem is, I think, that Cloud doesn't want to admit he has feelings towards Squall.”

_“Well, that ain't no news to me! Spiky ain't the best person to show his feelings to anyone._

“But you really should see him. It's creepy how he actually lightens up whenever Squall is around. He's even smiling! _Smiling_ , Yuffie! Haven't seen him smile like that since Aer died.”

 _“Ahahah, really? Wish I could see it! Would be awesome for them to get together. Seriously, they are so alike and would make an excellent couple!”_ The girl was giggling on the other end. _“Just remember to send me an invitation to their wedding. I am SO going to laugh my ass off there just because they both have sworn never to get all mushy towards anyone.”_

“Oh, I'll be there too, laughing!” Tifa grinned, imagining the situation. “But I had something to ask from you. Do you remember Squall having those two young boys with him when he still lived there? The twins.”

 _“Mm..”_ Yuffie was quiet for a moment, thinking and browsing thru her memories. _“Ah, the little runts? Of course. Leon used to drop them at the kindergarten where I was a trainee back then! Of course they were there to help watching the kids, not the other way around, haha. Haven't met anyone so close to their twin like ever before. They rarely went anywhere alone, always together. Why?”_

“Just wondering if..” Tifa leaned over the table she was standing next to, wondering if she should even ask what she was about to ask. “You need to keep this in secret.”

 _“Uu, I like secrets!”_ Tifa smiled, turned her head towards the door where Elena had emerged and waved at the blond girl, before walking into the kitchen to finish the call in privacy. After few minutes, she was done, wishing Yuffie good luck and hung up. She smiled. It would be interesting to know if her suspicions had any base, and even if they didn’t it was always fun to poke around someone who was secretive even a little. She returned to the other room, where Elena was turning on the lights and music and smiled widely at the other. A long night of work ahead again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Cloud**

He was laying on Squall's bed, flipping thru a magazine about weapons, not really reading it. It was a quiet afternoon. Squall was sitting before his desk, headphone's half covering his ears, working on his next playlist for the upcoming event on next weekend. Cloud stared at the ceiling, wondering how nice it was to be able to see the other working, that serious look over his face and concentration that was so hard to break. Usually Squall had no headphones while he was doing this, but the twins were sick and had finally fallen asleep. And no one wanted two cranky, and definitely bored, boys to be awake more than it was necessary.

Squall had asked him to come over and help him, since he was busy with his both jobs and the twins needed someone to watch them over in their feverish state. Who else to do it than Cloud? Not that he actually minded he had been asked to come here to do housework and play a little doting father for the boys. It was nice to feel needed. These days he had not been at home much. Tifa was nowhere to be seen, not outside work at least, and his days were busy from the sunrise to sundown. Today there had been less hassle at work than usually and it had granted him the opportunity to help his friend in need.

Cloud's eyes moved from the dull ceiling to Squall, who sat sideways to the bed. It was nice to watch that profile. If Cloud had been any more artistic he would have wanted to draw that proud nose and full lips, that intense stare, that delicate line of the neck, those strong shoulders, but.. he wasn't. Lucky for him, he was able to see Squall nearly every day.

Not wanting to end the nice and cozy feeling but he knew he would have to leave at some point since his first pick up tomorrow was outside the town and he had left his bike at home. The mere idea of going out into the chilling autumn weather made him wrinkle his nose. He seriously hated getting cold. The warmth of Squall's room was making him drowsy and the soft mattress calling for him to take a little nap. Maybe he could doze off for a while.

Closing his eyes, listening to the soft clicking sounds that came from Squall typing something, he allowed himself to fall into dreamlike state and let his thoughts to wander freely.

It was true that he liked to stay here more than at 7th Heaven. Though, every time he spent the night on that damned couch, his neck was killing him for the next week or so, which really made his neck to be in intense pain all the bloody time. But every time he slept in his own bed he was only able to feel longing to be back here, to get up early and make breakfast for the three who actually _did_ live in this address. When he was alone in his room he feared the old habits to lift their heads again. And because lately he had been feeling so much better he certainly didn't want to get back on with those habits. He had been on the verge of starting to flee from trouble and to just blame himself for everything that was going wrong, despite he _knew_ it was not his fault. But he had improved, a lot actually, from being like that anymore.

And it was all thanks to Squall. He had this stubborn way to say everything out loud, if there was anything bothering him and refused firmly to let a problem go before he had dealt with it. It was an infectious attitude, really.

Sure, it was hard to bounce back and forth his home and Squall's, but all was worth it in the end. He didn't really mind getting up earlier and most definitely did not mind staying here long to the night if he had the chance. Few times he had thought that he was burdening Squall, and the twins, by staying constantly over, but Squall had just shrugged it off easily. _'First of all; you're my friend, so_ I _don't mind. And second; we get actual meals for once just because you cook. And you clean and do laundry. So I guess you're pretty much covered. Dumbass.'_ Squall had said when Cloud had mentioned about this. The memory made him smile in his semi-sleeping state and he opened his eyes slowly. He gazed at Squall who was still concentrating on his laptop. Clouds eyes traced the proud face again before setting on the brown hair. He smiled softly to himself.

It had been amazingly easy to convince Squall to let Cloud to experiment with the brown locks. He had done small braids neatly against the scull so that they would end to Squalls delicate neck. It actually had ended up looking way cooler than he had anticipated. Cloud snickered in silence when he remembered the face Squall had made when he had requested if he could do the tiny braids. First there had been amusement, then dislike and then surrender. And now Squall looked satisfied with the result since it really did suit him rather well.

“Hey Squall..” A thought entered Cloud's amused pondering and he stretched his arm over to poke the chair Squall was sitting to get his attention. “What are you guys going to do this Christmas?” Squall snapped back to reality and turned to face the blond, blinking and removing the headphones from his ears.

“Christmas? Be at home I guess. Why?”

“Just asking.. I don't know what to do myself.” Cloud rolled onto his stomach and gathered Squall's pillows under his chin, leaning into the softness, only his eyes and spiked hair visible. “Tifa said she's going back to her parents this year. I guess I'm asking if I could… Could I stay here during the holidays?” His speaking had turned into mumbling towards the end of his speech. He felt embarrassed to be asking such a thing. But looking at his friend Cloud saw Squall shaking his head with an amused smile.

“You really shouldn’t even ask. I was expecting you to be around anyway.” Squall grinned deviously. “I know you wouldn’t let us go starving. You know you want to cook anyway.” Cloud lifted his chin enough to stick his tongue out at the other.

“Yeah, great. Nice to know I'm only needed because I know how to make food.”

“Well, it's your own fault for being so good at it. You know you can only blame yourself for it, since it was you who offered to take over the kitchen while staying here. So basically that makes you the part time housewife…” Squall snorted and dodged the pillow Cloud sent flying at him. He smiled widely and turned back to the screen of his computer. He motioned Cloud to come closer. “Listen to this.” He was handing over the headphones to Cloud who had managed to crawl up from his warm spot.

The song that poured into his ears was softer than he had expected and he cocked one eyebrow at this. Sure, it did sound a little like the stuff they usually were listening, but this had more melody in it, and the vocalist wasn't trying to scream his lungs out.

“It’s so mellow. Almost like pop.”

“Kind of, yeah. Had completely forgotten this band. I used to listen to it when I was still in high school. It's more old-school than anything.”

_/Why are you always hiding? Why are you always mourning?/_

Cloud stared at the back of Squall's braided head, wondering if the lyrics were somehow directed at him. He did have a tendency to still be a little... brooding.

“I like it.”

“Of course you do.” Squall said smugly and turned his head and Cloud saw a smug grin placed on the lips. “I introduce it to you, so obviously you must like it.” Cloud snorted and slapped the back of Squalls head, grinning.

“Well... true. But you don't have to act to self-centered about it.”

“Nah, you just love me better like this.”

“...” Cloud took the headphones off, handing them back to Squall, picked up the pillow he had thrown and returned to his comfortable spot on the bed. “You really are an idiot.” He smiled gently, burying his face to the pillows, hearing Squall laughing softly at him.

For a while there was silence. Squall was staring the screen and Cloud laying on his face. When he felt like he was going to choke onto the pillow he rolled to his side and glanced out of the window.

“Holy crap.. Check it out.”

“Wha.. Oh. Damn.” Squall too looked out of the window as Cloud pointed that way.

It was snowing.

It seemed to have started a lot earlier since the streets were all white now, people rushing to get away from the softly landing snowflakes, wrapped in their clothes that suddenly seemed to be too light for the wintery breeze. It started to look peaceful, pretty even, as the town was being covered with the soft mat of snow.

“Good thing I left Fenrir at home.”

“Mm.” Squall had turned to face his laptop again and was halfheartedly ignoring Cloud.

“I really hate getting all cold and wet.”

“Mmhm. I know. “

“I mean, seriously. I fucking despise it...”

“Cloud..” Squall sighed but not bothering to turn his head to look at the other. “Do you want to stay over the night? I can drive you home in the morning if you want to.”

“Could you? That would be fantastic!” Cloud nearly beamed like Sora did, whenever he got something he wanted. Squall just shook his head and smiled, it never ceased to amaze him that even after all the times Cloud had stayed over, he still asked permission to do so. It was kind of cute and weird, at the same time.

“The couch is all yours, you know that.” Squall was tapping the desk with his fingers and spun his chair to face the bed. “You know I _could_ set you up a check point here, for your work. Then you wouldn't have to go back home just to do that if someone just has entered the orders into the system.” Cloud had a blank expression on his face and didn't say a word. “I could set you up with completely new database to work with..? You know, connect the program with your phone if you don’t want the computer moved. Or do both.” Cloud was still looking a bit lost.

“Uh.. yeeaah.” Cloud was hesitant to continue, it already felt like he was asking a little too much, even if it had been Squall who had offered to do all that jazz. “You know I'm not good with computers and shit like that… And there's a lot of work these days so I'm staying up late to update the next days’ pick up points and deliveries and stuff and Tifa's not really any help since I see her rarely and she's busy with the bar and she just takes care of the paperwork and I should probably hire a third driver too…” Squall raised his hand and cut Clouds explanations.

“You want me to do it?” Cloud blinked and looked at the serious face that was facing him and into the eyes he so liked to look into. “You need a new phone anyway. I might as well get you a new one, of course you’ll pay for that one, so I can create and download the app for and into it.”

“Um.. yeah. I guess so.” That was about as close as he would get to asking for help from anyone. But he was really relieved if Squall would do this, since he basically sucked at handling the online orders. “Would be great.”

“Ok then. I'll come with you in the morning and go thru the system you are using now. And hopefully figure out a better one that won’t be so hard to use. Even for dimwitted blonds like you.” Cloud was beaming again from the bed at Squall, not paying any attention to the gentle mocking. Suddenly it was much cozier to be here. He rolled onto his back and inhaled deeply. This is what made him feel so comfortable around the other. Squall was so... Fucking brilliant.

“I'll make some supper.” He got up suddenly, feeling all warm and mushy inside. Squall merely just nodded, having again turned back to his work. Cloud passed the man by, stopping next to him for a moment and bent over to place a slow kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.” Then he fled quickly, before it would get out of hand and make them feel awkward. Tonight, he wanted nothing to be wrong, it was so peaceful and quiet.

Squall blinked after the blond, fingertips brushing over the place where Cloud had touched his cheek, the skin tingling slightly. He looked a little stupefied.

“Stupid...” He mumbled, blushing softly and tried to concentrate again.

 

**The next morning**

Cloud had already been up for an hour or so when Squall finally padded into the kitchen, looking rather sleepy in his bathrobe that hung loose on his shoulders. The man was still very much half-asleep as he slumped on the chair and held his hands high, like he was praying silently for something. The first time Cloud had seen the other doing this he had been more than a little confused and had just glared at the man. Now he knew better, and actually had expected this to happen. Smiling brightly he handed over a cup of black coffee.

“Good morning.” Squall simply took the mug and sniffed the delicious smell, his eyes starting to open more. He mumbled something in response, sipping the liquid carefully, not wanting to burn his mouth. But Cloud had been clever enough to let the coffee cool, since he had heard Squall moving upstairs a while ago and thus, Squall was able to take a proper swig of the heavenly drink. The affect of it was amazing. It never stopped Cloud being surprised to see how after a minute or so, the other was nearly smiling already. There. There it was. That smile creeping upon the lips that were moist from the coffee and drowsy look disappearing as the brains started to wake up properly.

“Mm, coffee makes me want to purr.” Squall leaned against the back of the chair, keeping his eyes on Cloud who was standing before the sink, holding a knife on his other hand and on the other had his morning smoothie he liked to drink before starting his days for real. Squall eyed the knife for a while suspiciously but said nothing.

“Glad you like it.” Cloud smiled, emptying the glass to halfway and placing it next to the cutting board where the tomatoes were waiting for the knife to cut them into pieces. “I'm making a small portion of pasta with sauce for dinner. The twins are not going to be ok without eating and you are busy with your work. And I can't be here until the evening..” Cloud didn't see Squall lifting his eyebrow and chuckling under his breath.

“Are you sure you are a man and not a woman in disguise?” The amused tone made Cloud to turn, with the knife in his hand and the blade of it dripping red tomato juice. Squall coughed, seeing a potential threat of getting that sharp item possibly thrown close to his head and proceeded to continue his sentence and save his head from flying knives. “Not that it's not appreciated! But you know, we're all big boys and can make food on our own..”

“Sure you can, but the twins are really sick. The fever has not come down one bit. Plus your cooking sucks.” He had gone to check the boys when he woke up and they had been both curled into a mass of blankets, legs and arms, blond and brown hair, in one bed. And very much still feverish. Cloud frowned. “You should stay home to look after them, I can walk home and still make it in time to open the doors.” Squall was shaking his head.

“I said I'd drive you home, didn't I. And the boys are sleeping, and probably will be most of the day. You are an angel, making the food ready and we all love you for it.” Cloud turned back to his tomato cutting, feeling his cheeks to burn. It felt nice to be able to be useful and he really didn't mind doing this, even though it made him look kind of a housewife or something.

“...” He could have said something, but the warm feeling inside his chest made it impossible for him to utter any words now. He'd end up only saying something very mushy and that wouldn't be very cool. “There's toast if you want unless you want something else.”

“Toast is fine.” Squall was moving behind him, the soft padding of his bare feet on the plastic floor and his shadow reflecting the movements to the wall before Cloud. He wondered how it had become so easy for them to fall into this routine in the mornings. They would bicker, they would share some compliments, say things that were to be read between the lines and then easily both of them left the house for their obligations; Cloud to do his pick ups and deliveries, Squall to start his shift at the cafe he worked part-time. Sometimes the twins were there too, making them furious with their comments about how they acted like an old married couple.

The thought was impossible though. They just were friends, very close ones yes, but still.. nothing more. He had not one clue of Squall's feelings since he had not said anything, well, all the little suggestions must have just been Cloud's own imagination, and thus it was very much impossible for them to be a couple. Like.. ever.

“Why so sad?” Cloud startled as he felt the object of his thoughts to stand right behind him, Squalls cheek pressing softly against his cheek as the other was leaning over his shoulder to see what he was doing.

“Why do you say that? I'm not sad.” He was stirring the pasta that boiled happily in the kettle, concentrating on the task to forget how close they were again. Why was it so hard to be this near? Why was his heart beating so fast, when there was no reason for it?

“Liar.” The low voice near Cloud's ear made his knees feel weak. He poked the pasta furiously.

“Trespasser.” Squall was so close he could feel the warmth radiating from the open bathrobe and thru Cloud's own shirt. Why does he have to stand there and make me feel so dizzy and.. hot? He was almost sure he would start trembling because his body was certainly acting up so badly, all because of the closeness. He wanted to just stop feeling like a shy child in situations like this! Though, he was pretty sure kids wouldn't want to take the object of their shyness hard and against the wall.

“Smells nice.” Squall reached from the side intending to poke the bubbling red sauce on the pan. Cloud slapped the hand off before Squall could manage to reach his destination.

“Oi, don't touch that!” He tried to cover the space before the stove so Squall could not make any more stupid moves towards it and its boiling hot items.

“But Cloud, I wannaaa~” Squall pawed Cloud's back gently, leaning his chin on to the his shoulder and faked a sniffle.

“Oh crap, stop that. You sound like Sora now. It's hot, no touching. Gives you a big booboo.” It was rather hard not to laugh at Squall. If he only could turn his face without colliding with Squall's own he would have done it, just to see how hilariously adorable faces was Squall making. So very out of his cool character. Cloud snickered finally, unable to keep his amusement hidden. “Did that coffee turn you into a cat or something?”

“If I ever start mewing, you can slice me with Buster.” Cloud could not hold back his laughter as the thought of this ever so cool man making such a cute noise entered his poor brains. He felt Squall's breath on his neck as the other was laughing also, the impact of warm air made small shivers run down his spine. If things only were different, he would have leaned in and rest his head to the others shoulder. But no.

“Heh, don't worry. I'll smack you out of it fast enough. Now shoo, I need to finish these before we have to leave. If you are still insisting on driving me home, that is.” Not that he really would be sorry for that, since he had poked his nose out earlier, fine, it was still 5am and supposed to be cold and dark and depressing, and had nearly frozen his nostrils while inhaling deeply that nippy air. He was definitely NOT a winter person. At all. “And a warm car would be more than appreciated.”

“Aw, you're no fun.” Squall moved away from Cloud, obviously returning to the table and to his breakfast. “If I warm the car up, what do I get in return?” Cloud turned around, one eyebrow raised.

“You get a kick in the ass for _not_ doing it!”

“Argh, ok ok! I'll warm up the car! Please put down the knife!” Squall escaped from the kitchen with a piece of bread in his mouth and the cup of coffee in his hand, before Cloud would throw the knife he held up high. He smirked after Squall had disappeared, pleased with himself for managing the situation without making a fool of himself.

 

**Squall**

It had snowed a lot during the night; the whole town was frosted to such a pretty state it made even Squalls heart throb for the beauty of it. Cloud was wrinkling his nose next to him in the car as he was driving them towards the 7th Heaven thru the empty streets. A morning like this would have been ideal for going for a run or a walk, but they had their jobs to go to. Plus, he was worried because of the twins. Stupid kids.. had been running out late without properly dressed. Maybe he should call in sick and just go home to be able to do something if the boys would wake up and need something.

Though the idea was all too tempting, he knew he could not afford to stay a day away from work. It was hard enough already to get the rent paid with all the other costs life threw at him. That was one of the reasons he loved to have Cloud over at their place. The man practically kept them fed no matter what. Squall was not a good cook, had never really been, and the boys were not interested enough to care for such a trivial thing like food.

“It's so calm. I know I hate cold and all that, but this is seriously brilliant.” Cloud's soft voice woke Squall from his thoughts. He kept quiet but glanced at the other. “I wish we could go outside the town so we could see the stars.” It was nice how Cloud said 'we' instead of referring only to himself. It made something warm flutter softly inside Squalls chest.

“We could go there some morning, you know? When the twins get better and we don't have to rush to work.” Squall said trying to sound casual. It would be nice, to be able to leave the house for a while. The autumn had been busy enough to make him feel drained. Without Cloud around he would have surely lost his mind into some tempting dark hole.

“I hope so.” Cloud sounded a little sad and it made Squall turn to look at him a little bit longer. That was the third time this morning Cloud seemed to be brooding over something. He wanted to help, but whenever he asked, Cloud denied the whole thing or just shrugged it off. So, he said nothing and drove on in silence that was not uncomfortable but not cheerful either. Maybe it was just because it was still so early. No, that wasn’t it. They were both morning persons, so it couldn’t be the reason. He really should get into this matter more and figure what he could do to dig up the dark secrets Cloud might be bottling up.

They reached their destination in no time as the streets were nearly empty and the traffic lights were still turned off. Squall parked the car before the bar and turned the ignition off. They sat in the dark car for a moment in complete silence, the grey morning closing in on them. Cloud was staring out of window, not moving at all and Squall kept staring at him, trying to figure what the hell was wrong.

“Ok. That’s it. Spit it out Cloud. What's wrong?” Squall said after a long moment of silence.

“Nothing.” Cloud mumbled, not meeting Squalls eyes.

“Cloud.. Don't lie to me. I can see it with my own eyes that you are not yourself.”

“I..” Cloud moved his eyes to his hands that lay on his lap. “It's nothing, really.” Squall blinked as Cloud turned his head, smile placed on his lips. Only thing bothering Squall was how the smile didn't really reach those large, beautiful blue eyes. He hated these moments from the bottom of his heart. He despised the pretence Cloud was putting up and refused to spill the beans. But what could he do? It was obvious something was wrong but there was no way to squeeze something out of someone who was ignoring the help offered. Squall knew that all too well as he was one to keep his thoughts and feeling always to himself. He would not put any pressure on Cloud; the man would only clamp up more if he would.

“You know you can talk to me, if there's _anything_ you need to get out of your system.” Squall said meaning every word he just said. Hoping against hope the offer would reach Clouds brains at some level.

“Yeah. Don't worry, honestly.” The smile was slowly fading, leaving the Clouds face flawless, emotionless, like a marble statue. It never ceased to amaze him, how anyone could be so damn pretty. He was hopelessly starting lose himself by just looking at Cloud and thoughts starting to wander towards the part of his brains where he kept his feelings locked up. Even in that depressed mood Cloud was terribly tempting. He ached to take the man into his arms and try to sooth all the pain away with soft words and tender caresses. Finally Squall tore his eyes off from the other and opened the car door, stepping outside.

It was nearly pitch black around them, few street lamps gave out their yellow light over on the fresh snow that had been plowed from the streets and was now gathered into big piles to the house walls and street corners. The degrees were still below zero so the snow was light and moved with the wind that blew down the street, forcing the feathery whiteness to dance along with it. Squall was looking at Cloud who happened to stand in the middle of one of those snowy tornadoes passing them by. He felt like the time had frozen then. Cloud was so beautiful, his pale face illuminated by the snow and the lamps, eyes half closed as he was staring up to the clouds above, hands buried deep into the pockets of his coat. If there were angels anywhere, there was one standing before Squall right now, on this cold morning street.

He was oblivious of Cloud's movement and before he could react, he had been attacked with an armful of snow. Squall blinked, wiped his face and spat the snow out of his mouth, it had been open, damn it, and saw Cloud smirking before him.

“You... you so asked for it!” Squall snarled, grin escaping to his lips and rushed after Cloud who had had enough sense left to try and escape his counter-attack, all the time laughing that pretty laughter than filled Squall's heart with joy as it seemed to spring straight from Clouds soul. The street was not wide enough to let Cloud flee far so Squall caught him quickly and tackled down to the ground, straddling Cloud who was grinning madly. “You definitely asked for this!” Squall had his fists full of snow he gathered from the street. He leaned down and washed that handsome face with it, a victorious grin spreading over his lips.

“No! Stop it!” Cloud tried to squirm away but didn't really succeed in his vague attempts.

“Oh no, I won’t! You defied your destiny when you had your moment of madness and tried to mess with the almighty Squall!” Squall's fingers were all over Cloud's face and the neck of the jacket, spreading the quickly melting snow. “You must beg for your release!”

“NOT INSIDE THE COLLAR!!” Cloud jerked violently and squirmed furiously as the cold matter sneaked its way under the fabrics and made contact with his much more warm skin.

“Yield!”

“Never!”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!”

“.....” They both blinked and shot stupefied looks towards the door where was a tall figure of a girl, dressed in bathrobe, dark eyes shooting daggers towards them. “Oh. Hi Tifa.” In unison they chimed and then tried to get up from the ground, managing only to tackle each other worse and generally were a laughing mess covered in snow.

“Both of you, inside. NOW!” Tifa growled. She was definitely pissed off and that was enough to make the duo on the sidewalk to shut up and try to make a guilty face, not really succeeding in that either. After the girl had turned her back they looked at each other and grinned widely.

“Not settled. I'll kick your ass when there's no one to save you!” Cloud whispered as they got up on their feet, shaking the snow off from their clothes. Squall just raised one eyebrow at this.

“Can't wait.”

 

**5 minutes later**

“You're telling me, that you were trying to wake the whole block up, 5 am in the morning! Just because you thought it would be _fun_?” Tifa's voice was dripping venom as she glared at the two men before her in the kitchen, now all dried up and finally looking a little guilty for real. “I seriously never will understand you two..” She was at loss, always, when it came to understanding Squall and Cloud, and their… what ever it was they were doing.

“Don't bother your pretty head with us.” Squall smiled cautiously, being glad his hair was still braided and didn't need to be dried anymore than this. “I just came to drop the idiot here home so he could get to work in time. He is the one who started it!”

“So? You looked like you needed the wake-up call! Standing there and doing nothing but staring.. Dude, you were almost drooling. What the hell were you even thinking?” Cloud sneered from the other side of the room where he had padded off to get some coffee for himself. Squall moved his eyes to the table, looking a little embarrassed.

“Nothing.” Squall coughed.

“I'm pretty sure of that. Your head's so empty anyway.”

“Fuck off.”

“Here? Gladly.”

“Boys....” Tifa's tone got menacing as the two were again falling into some warped way of talking which she just did not get. At all. And didn't even want to. “Stop it or my head is going to start to ache.”

“Sorry..” Cloud apologized and walked from behind the brooding girl, leaning forward and gave a small peck on her cheek. Tifa startled, both of her eyebrows high stared at Cloud. “We're bastards and you're just too sweet to be awake and in our company at this hour.” Squall was following the episode before him intensively, his eyes never leaving Cloud. Could Cloud still have feelings for the girl? They had talked about the matter few times and he knew it had been more than a little complicated in the past. For what he knew, Cloud had never said that he was swinging only to either side.

“And you're going to be late for work. Shoo!” Tifa wrinkled her nose, but seemed to be less furious after the apology. Cloud smiled gently and disappeared towards the upstairs. Squall couldn't help but to feel always a little out of place when he was left alone with Tifa. He had the nagging feeling that she still did not like him much. She got up and stretched her arms high. Squall didn't deny the fact that she was pretty, attractive and probably any man would go out with her gladly. He just wished it wouldn't be Cloud. “Coffee, Squall?”

“Sure.” He sighed. There was no way that he could resent the girl, since she was so nice and sweet. And scary as hell, when she got mad, which happened unfortunately often. “Cloud said I could take a look at the operating system you use for the online orders.” He took the cup she was offering.

“You will? It's nice to have someone around who actually knows how to use computers. Cid really is no help as he's busy and now even less with his co-owner around.” Tifa grinned deviously and Squall knew well enough why. He had not been around the garage in a week or so, but last time he had been helping Cid the infamous Xigbar had appeared and boy, had the place been echoing furiously with the two older men shouting at each other insults. Which might be their way of saying Hello, nice to you see old fellow, but in Squalls opinion it was just plain scary.

“Yeah.. I noticed.” He had simply fled from the scene as there had been more yelling from Cid's side and even more sulking from Xigbars part. “Strange couple, but I guess friendship, or whatever it is in their case, makes it all possible.”

“Mmm..” Tifa was eyeing him over the table and it made Squall feel somewhat uneasy. “How are the boys? Cloud mentioned something like they were sick.”

“Quite sick, yes. I'll just take a look at your programs and head home before my shift starts, just because I need to check up on them.” He didn't know how much time he had left, few hours maybe, before he should be opening the cafe and be sure the twins were safe and sound in their beds. Or bed. Like they actually would ever sleep apart. He should just buy them a bigger bed.

“Must be tough. Being a kind of a single parent.” Tifa said, her voice full of compassion. Squall said nothing, just chewed on his lips, lost in his own worries. “I'll show you the PC then. Shouldn't take too long.” She got up and headed to the second floor, Squall following him. He had never been in Cloud's room; Cloud was always at their place and came here just to get more clothes or something like that. Of course they had only known for, what? Six or seven months now? It felt like an eternity even after such a small amount of time. But here he was, looking at the clean room where Cloud spent probably less time than ever. A pinch of guilt made him wrinkle his nose.

“I guess he isn't here much these days.” Cloud had already managed to disappear for his work and the room was dark and empty. Somehow Squall didn't wonder why the other resented at being there. It certainly made him feel depressed just by staying there for few minutes. It had no feeling of home.

“You should know.” It wasn't a tone that told him to be ashamed Squall had nearly abducted Cloud to himself, but there was obviously sorrow in Tifa's voice.

“I..” He started but the girl shook her head, leaning over the computer that was placed on Cloud's desk.

“It's not your fault. I should be thanking you instead. Cloud seems happier now.” She turned the screen on and waited the system to start up. “We are drifting apart. One episode of our lives is ending and it seems to be sending us in different directions.” She paused for a moment, chewing on her lip. “I don't mean that our friendship is breaking, it's there still and will always be; we're just standing in crossroads. You know what I mean?”

“Kind of.” Squall hesitated slightly, unsure should he feel uncomfortable.

“I love him dearly and I want him to have anything he desires. I guess that would be..” Tifa never finished her sentence as the computer finished its loading right at that moment. “There. Have fun with it.” Squall raised one eyebrow, wondering what she had meant to say but didn't dare to ask. Instead he smiled a little and sat before the desk as Tifa moved out of the way.

“You know, I feel like a kid who has just been handed a toy and told to scram.” Squall heard the girl to chuckle behind him.

“Well, that sort of is your candy, isn't it?” He felt a hand touching his braided hair. “And these certainly make you look like little kid.” Tifa was tracing one of the little braids with her fingers. “Did Cloud do these?” Squall just nodded and stared at the screen before him. “Thought so. He used to braid my hair too. I guess he likes you enough to be able to touch you like this.” Was there jealousy in her voice? Squall said nothing but felt slightly happy for the comment.

“Not sure about the happy part though. He seems to be depressed because of something.” Squall said leaning over the computer to look at it better. Maybe it was alright to voice his worries to her, since she most likely knew Cloud better than he did. He had turned on the program and was trying to figure its purpose. “I don't know who coded this program but he -or she- has done pretty shitty job.” It made no sense and was just confusing him more, the more he tried to look at it.

“Would explain why it's so hard to use.” Tifa sighed behind him. “Cloud has the tendency to be depressed over many things. You wouldn't believe me how bad it was only few years ago. He's like the ray of sunshine now, compared to what he was back then.” Tifa was moving away from him, probably to sit on the bed. “You ask what is wrong and he says nothing is. If you wait, you'd better not hold your breath because it will take a long time. Your best shot would be just to observe him and make your own decisions. Then you can try to ask him straight. And even then there is a chance of him getting pissed off and running away.” It seemed like Cloud had done this kind of things many times before, so drained did Tifa sound at the moment.

“Thanks. I'll try that.” Squall grunted. Tempting as it did sound, he had no desire to think about the matter any further right now and he sighed. “You know.. I could just take this whole thing with me and make a better coding, most likely replace this one completely. Or even better, I could build you a brand new one. This fellow here is honestly at the end of its lifespan. Would that be ok?” He turned around on the chair to look at Tifa in the darkness of the room. He saw only half of her face, because there was no other source of light to illuminate her features but the light from the corridor. Tifa smiled lightly.

“Of course. I think it would be the best. I really don't have time to take care of it anymore. I could not ask any more from you but since Cloud hardly ever is here it would be more convenient to have it at your place.” She was looking tired, eyelids half closed and her stare was over her hands she had placed on her lap, still holding onto her coffee cup.

“No problem. When the twins get better I can teach them to use the new program too. You know, they can update the orders and shit so either you or Cloud don't have to do a thing. Probably a good idea anyway. Teach the idiots finally to do something useful at home.” Tifa lifted her eyes to Squall and flashed a radiant smile that made her incredibly pretty and to look much younger than she had seemed just few seconds before.

“You really care for them, don’t you? And they aren't even related to you, are they?”

“I've taken care of them for so long they feel like they were mine for real. But no, we're not related.” He turned away again, to shut down the computer and to gather all wires with him.

Not more than 20 minutes later, he was back in car, the computer tightly tucked on the backseat and him feeling a little less worried about his spiky haired friend. Tifa's words had made him feel more determined to figure on his own first what Cloud was hiding, before facing him. But not now, he drove home thru the streets that were slowly filling up with people rushing to work and other obligations. Sun was still far from rising, which meant he had enough time to check the twins at home and eat something more than just that one toast.

He parked the car on street, wondering how Cloud managed to keep it all together; taking care of his own business, looking after Squall and the twins. And yet that stoic surface never had a stain on it. Like Cloud was impenetrable and kept his worried well hidden. Unlike himself. Squall snorted. Yeah, he certainly would start looking worried and drained the minute he felt like so. Though, they had called him emotionless and cold when he still went to school. He sighed. Squall just didn't know how to express himself properly when it came to showing some positive affection towards anyone. In that, he and Cloud were definitely the same.

He carried the PC with him up the stairs and into the apartment, trying to keep as little noise he could. It was quiet, which was a good sing since it meant the twins were still sleeping. Probably would be a good idea to wake them up and check their temperatures. The idea of having to wake those two up was enough for him to shiver in horror. Usually it was never needed since Roxas would wake his brother up, but dear heavens if someone else happened to do that... Squall grimaced internally and placed the computer on the kitchen table.

There were two things he didn't like; one, Sora's nightmares and two, waking Sora up. The kid was a little too over the place no matter how you tried to look at it. When the boy had been smaller he had been easy to handle, but as the boy turned into a young man… Ugh. One of Sora’s bad habits was to cling onto that someone who was waking him up. He flung his thin arms around any body part he could find and clung there like the world was about to end until he woke up completely. Squall had had few times the pleasure of having Sora clinging onto his neck and did that boy weigh a lot when he was limp and sleepy.. His muscles ached from the mere memory.

It was lucky for everyone that Roxas usually made Sora much calmer. Squall couldn't do much -when it was about Sora, that is- without the blond boy, that was for sure. He had often wondered should he send Sora to therapy because of these things but had never had the heart to do it. They were legally under his name but he felt a bit awkward suggesting something that personal.

Squall shook off his jacket and shoes and sneaked towards the room where the boys were sleeping. Carefully opening the door he padded inside, waiting for a moment for his eyes to get use to the darkness. He was used to seeing the twins always sleeping in the same bed and it was no different this time either. Roxas' blond hair was more visible than Sora's, who had obviously curled himself next to his brother and was hiding completely under the blanket. It was good they had each other, in a way. Though it had been more than a little difficult when the boys came to live with him. From that moment on, there had always been double everything in anything.

Squall leaned against the door frame, folding his arms before him and sighed quietly, waiting for his courage to raise its head so he could wake the sleeping ones up. He could still remember the last time the twins had been this sick. They had lived in Twilight Town back then and he had just been living with the boys for half a year or something. He had tucked them into their beds, and had gone to the other room that served as his bedroom and living room, to study. It had taken about an hour for the two to wander into his room, holding hands and looking so terribly sick and tired. They had just simply asked to stay there for a while since they were scared, feverish and confused. Of course Squall had no heart to say no for such a plea.

He had been sitting in his armchair and the twins had simply crawled on his lap, each leaning their head to Squall's shoulders and then dozing off there, each having a fist tightly gripping his shirt. He remembered that to be the very first time his heart had swollen up from the feeling of protectiveness over the two. It had been hard to breathe and he had been on the verge of crying because he was so helpless in front of the boys and their fragile state. Squall had just leaned into the chair and had let the twins sleep and had let the feeling of warmth sweep his embarrassment away. He had felt like a new father, given –maybe a bit overgrown- a couple of children in his arms to protect and to love. Yes. It had been the first time he had actually felt true attachment to someone else than himself.

If Squall recalled correctly he had been only 19 back then and the twins had been.. what, 8? 9? It had been hard for him to take care of the two when he still had to study at the same time. He also recalled that he had made a promise to himself not to let the boys down, like they already had been when they had been left by their parents when they had been only small babies. He himself had never known his mother and knew how shitty it was to grow up in a world where there was no adult to turn to. His father had never been one to take care of his children in the first place.

Looking at the now all grown up twins made Squall's heart ache just like back then. He was happy that he wasn't alone now to worry over these two. Not wanting to disturb the twins' sleep after all, Squall just quietly left the room, deciding the fever measuring could wait. He felt like crying but he knew he wouldn't. He never cried, no matter how he wanted to.

He dug out his phone and typed a message to Cloud, sending it before he would hesitate and erase it.

_“I don't know what I would do without you here. Not anymore. Thank you.”_

It took only less than a minute for his phone to vibrate softly in his hand. Cloud's reply made Squall smile gently.

_“I wouldn't have it any other way either.”_


	9. Chapter 9

**Sora & Roxas**

It had been almost three weeks since they had finally been able to get back to normal life after being tied to bed for a week or so because of the fever. And because certain people refused to let them get up. Also, it had taken three weeks for them to figure how to persuade Cloud to go along with them for some quality time. It was no easy task to convince the angry looking man when he had heard about where the twins wanted to go with him.

“But Cloud! You promised you would go with us.” Sora had pouted, trying his best to look as cute and adorable as he could. Too bad Cloud had learned to see thru that puppy-eyes-face.

“I said I would _drive_ you there. But I _never_ said anything about submitting myself to such torture at any point.” The tall blond had made a terribly angry face and had tried to stare Sora down viciously. But Sora had known better than to waver under the glaring. He would just have to resort to other means. Like blackmailing.

“You know…” He had leaned closer to Cloud, lowered his voice to a faked whisper, the kind that anyone could still hear and was obviously meant to make the other more than a little uncomfortable. “I could always tell Squall about the little picture you keep in your wallet...” The words had taken an instant effect and the man had turned bright red and had averted his eyes to the floor. “I thought you might feel like that. So, I take it that you'll come?” He had smiled ever so innocently, which had made Cloud grimace in pain.

“You are a cruel little piece of shit.”

“I know. And I love it!” Sora snickered and Cloud had only groaned, defeated and had buried his pretty face behind his hands.

That little conversation had led them to this situation here, where he and Roxas had dragged the unwilling man with them to the huge shopping mall in the center of the town. Cloud was pissed off but said nothing and that just made the twins grin viciously. It had been hard, but they seriously had to get the man out of the flat since it had been a direct request from Squall's part.

The mall was already dressed in the Christmas mode, even though the actual season was still few weeks away. And quite honestly, it made Sora feel all giddy and exited. He loved the season more than anything and definitely adored having the opportunity to give some gifts, of course he enjoyed more _receiving_ … to his friends and particularly to his twin.

Roxas was so easy to aggravate and being his twin, Sora knew all the right things to say and do to get the other to a verge of tears, which was rather hard since Rox was anything but the kind of a person ever to get teary. This of course made it all the more fun! Not that he really wanted to make his beloved twin to cry, it was mainly because he just.. You know, _had to_. That was ok and normal for siblings, right? Of course this was for their private time; he didn't want anyone else to know that he could make his brother actually cry.

Sora woke up from his wondering as someone brutally punched him in the back of his head. He found his twin looking at him eyebrows raised and eyes telling him that Roxas knew Sora was up to something and it would be bad to continue whatever he was thinking about. Sora flashed a wide grin and turned to find the brooding man they had forced with them. Though, he could not find the blond anywhere. It took a moment of searching to locate Cloud but in the end it was easy to spot that spiked head. Cloud was standing near one huge pillar that was built to start from the bottom level and went all the way up to the 8th floor of the mall. Sora giggled silently as he watched how unhappy the other was, standing there all alone.

It was amazing how someone could look at the same time like a lost child and a menacing, merciless criminal that would slice you in two seconds if you happened to say something wrong. Roxas took Soras hand and dragged him towards Cloud.

“Just to let you two know. I'm already ready to start a massacre and also, I do hope you realize it is vital for you to be rather quick with this shopping of yours, for the sake of your life spans.” Cloud's voice was low, dripping venom and definitely tried to chill the twins to the bone. This just made the boys to even more grin widely. Of course they knew what pain it was to be here for someone like Cloud was. Seriously, they had gone thru the same kind of situations with Squall more than once. And here they were; still alive.

“Don't get too excited, we haven't yet even started!” Sora was nearly jumping up and down, completely ignoring the killer-mode Cloud was in. “And I would keep my mouth shut if I were you. Naughty kids don’t get Christmas presents!” The fuming man glared down at Sora. “Oh, you better believe it. There is some quite interesting stuff coming up from certain someone. All because your ass is a pièce de la resistancé!” Roxas slapped Sora at this point to the back of his head.

“Thank you, Mr. I-spoil-all-the-fun. That's enough already.” Sora stuck his tongue out at Roxas. “We go for the clothes first.” Roxas pulled his brother with him, Cloud following the twins, menacing, dark clouds hanging over his head, making the people that passed the man by to take few steps to their side, fearing to get a fist to their face or anything else violent.

Few hours later the steam really was coming out of Cloud's ears as he dragged himself after the twins, carrying most of their bags and parcels. Roxas had just made a rude comment about Cloud looking like a mix of the Big Bird of Sesame Street and a mule, which almost made the man throw the bags at the smaller blond and to strangle him. The only thing that was postponing Roxas' early death was a loudly whispered comment from a woman to her friend as they were passing the trio by.

“What a beautiful family! Just look at them, those young boys will definitely grow up to look like their father!”

Cloud had frozen hands half-lifted in attempt of throwing stuff at Roxas, who also had frozen and stared after the two ladies with a blank expression over his cute face. Sora nearly bent in half for laughing so hard at their faces. It was kind of true though. Roxas’ blond hair was most likely the reason for people mistaking Cloud being at least Roxas' father. It wasn't the first comment like that during the few hours they had been roaming the mall from shop to shop, but seemed to be the first that had reached Cloud's ears.

“There there, _dad_.” Sora snickered and earned a furious glare from the older man. “Don't take it so seriously. It just means me and Roxie look a whole lot younger and you.. well, older?” And then he had to flee from the two blonds to a nearby shop since Roxas hated most to be said to look much younger than he really was, and was with Cloud now trying to get hands around Sora's neck in order to squeeze the living shit out of the boy.

Sora giggled by himself behind the shelves made of glass, watching the two on the other side of the display window. The expression over Cloud's face suddenly changed and Roxas was looking at the older man next to him, curiosity creeping upon his face. That made Sora to finally take in his surroundings as he had not paid no attention to whence he had fled.

The shop wasn't big at all, it had five or six brightly lit shelves that were closed with locks, a counter on the other end and there was a stand where magazines were neatly placed in their rightful spots. Sora gazed into the shelf next to him to see what it contained and raised his eyebrows. No wonder Cloud was looking much less agitated so suddenly. The store was full of weaponry and everything linked with that. Sora started to feel a little out of place where he was standing, since he knew absolutely nothing about weapons or where it was ok to use them. Shit, he didn't even know how to cut vegetables properly.

Cloud finally entered the store, Roxas closely tailing him, looking like he was pondering over something. Sora clued himself instantly next to his twin taking a hold of the others hand and feeling immediately more confident with Roxas being so near. Cloud had gone straight to the desk and was talking with the man behind it.

“First time I've seen him actually interested in anything today.” Sora yawned and rubbed his nose. Roxas remained quiet, observing Cloud intensively.

“I think he finally found something he didn't know he was looking for.” Roxas muttered, causing Sora to look at him with one eyebrow high. “Well, look at him. There might be some surprises ahead if I'm guessing things right. You know he loves nothing better than making our grumpy loser of a foster father happy.” Roxas said with a small crooked grin on his lips and Sora grinned widely.

“Oh yeah, I know all about that. Have you seen the picture he keeps, well, kept, in his wallet? I soft of blackmailed him to take us here because of it.” Sora laughed. Roxas nodded, there was very little, if nothing, he didn't know when it came to know stuff that happened inside the flat they lived in. “I kinda had to say AWW out loud when I found it for the first time.” He continued and snickered.

“Mm. All you need here is one more hour of torture and then we could perhaps grant him some good stuff?” Roxas' face formed an affectionate expression for a split of a second before turning back to blank.

“I should go aww at you sometimes.” Sora nudged his twins' side with his elbow and caused the blond to shoot an annoyed glare back at the other. “You're one big softie. But I love you anyway.” Sora sent an air kiss to Roxas who simply ignored the gesture. “But is it already that late? I thought the time wasn’t much yet.”

“About hour or so and we are free to go. I still want to check the music store.” Sora was nodding, them both now staring at Cloud at the desk who looked like he was about to explode for some unknown reason and was waving his hands frustrated in the air. The man Cloud was talking with was looking a little amused and said something which made the blond man to stop his silly looking waving. The twins weren't able to see what happened next since Cloud had turned his face away. After a moment Cloud was walking towards the boys, a small smile placed on his lips.

“No. I won't tell you a thing. Don't even think about asking.” Cloud spat out when Sora was about to open his mouth. “So, you are going to torture me some more, aren't you? Let's get on with it then.” With that said, he had walked out of the store, bags and packages in his hands, with a determined look over his pretty face.

“Uuu.. Maybe we should take a little longer way before letting him rest.” The twins grinned in unison, following the older man.

 

**2 hours later…**

After dragging Cloud around the huge shopping center and packing the car with their purchases the boys insisted on that they should still visit one specific place a bit further, which made Cloud to frown and look even more furious and was about to open to car door.

“No no, we can leave the car here and walk.” Roxas smiled innocently to what Cloud only snorted at and eyed the boys suspiciously. They walked thru the crowded streets few blocks before reaching their destination. Roxas couldn't help but to notice the looks they got from the people who passed them by. Mostly women were glaring first at Cloud and then the twins. He was pretty sure he heard more than once a longing sigh. It was weird for anyone to be sighing over something like the three of them were, it just wasn't logical. There were many people who were as attractive as any of them was. Cloud's face was getting more and more angry the further they moved.

“This is exactly why I don't like walking outside when there's other people around.” Cloud growled, stubbornly staring at the snow covered pavement instead of shooting death-looks at people. “And with the two of you with me makes it three times worse.” Roxas only nodded. He had started to understand why Cloud resented so badly being dragged around when he had witnessed more than one woman, and men, approaching Cloud in hopes of... gods only know what. All of them were not-so-politely rejected, of course. And more than once had some older person appeared out of nowhere to tell them what a beautiful family they made. Though Roxas had to admit it was a bit confusing him and Cloud having rather similar hair and somewhat similar facial features. Not to mention all of them were blue eyed and slim figured.

Sora jumped ahead of the two and was now playing gentleman opening the door to the store they were to enter and mockingly bowing his head as they stepped in. The smell of coffee and freshly baked sweet things filled their noses immediately. Roxas kept his eyes on Cloud who looked a little confused but soon melt into a soft smile as the blue eyes found the man behind the counter at the right side of the coffee shop they now were in.

It was amusing to see how the annoyance disappeared so swiftly when there was one certain brunet in sight. Cloud was basically eating the slim figure of Squall's with his eyes, a hint of pink rising to the pale cheeks. Roxas could not understand how Cloud was unable to admit himself he was very obviously having warm feelings towards Squall.

“He knows what we want. We'll find a table in the meantime.” Roxas pushed Cloud in the back, urging him to move forward to counter where Squall was. He had not yet noticed the three of them to enter. Cloud mumbled something incoherent in response and went ahead.

“They're so cute it makes me vomit soon.” Sora whispered to Roxas' ear as they watched the scene before them. Squall had finally noticed Cloud and had gone from strict work-face to much more warmer and relaxed expression and was obviously welcoming Cloud with a wide smile, to which Cloud was answering with a smile as wide. “I don't get it. Are they honestly so blind they can't figure how much they want to be together?” Sora was half talking to himself, half to his brother when they were settling down to a table near the window. There was perfect view to the counter so they were able to observe their friends flirting unconsciously to each other.

“Stupid gits, that’s what they are.” Roxas took off his coat and sighed. “I don’t think they are blind for real. Maybe it’s just a matter of acknowledging the possibility their object of affection might be feeling the same.” Sora let out an audible noise of frustration while Roxas sat down. He looked around him and noticed the table next to theirs. There were two girls sitting there, both having their eyes glued to the direction of the counter. Roxas tilted his head towards the girls’ direction, asking Sora to pay attention to that way for a moment.

“Oh my.. Now there are two hot guys there!” The girl with light brown hair sighed, her friend nodding. “You know I come here mostly because that man is just too gorgeous to look at. Today we certainly get a double treat!”

“I so know what you're talking about. Just imagine how cool it would be to out with guys like that.”

“But you know. I think I've never seen that man to smile like that before. He must know that other well.”

“Really?” The blond haired girl puckered her lips and batted her eyelashes, obviously extensions, no one had that long lashes in reality, leaning to her palm. “It would be awesome to have someone like either of them to smile at me like that...” She sighed deeply. Roxas stifled an evil snicker. Like either Squall or Cloud actually would be able to smile at anyone else so warmly, except to each other.

“Tell me about it…” The brown haired girl sighed too, biting her lower lip. “But you know what that really looks like? Like they were.. you know, having something going on there.”

“Oh.. You know, I think you're right! Aw maaann~ Why is it that all the gorgeous ones are either taken or gay!” In front of Roxas, Sora was hiding his face to his hands, shoulders trembling from silenced laughter. The blond twin had to stare the table surface very intensively to prevent himself from bursting into loud laughter too. It amused him to the end that even complete strangers were able to see there was more than just little sparks flying in the air between Squall and Cloud and yet, the two idiots refused to recognize those signs themselves. Well, they were fun to watch, if nothing. And even more fun to tease. Roxas just wished the truth would reveal itself one day to them both.

The girls kept chatting about gays being too gorgeous and how super awesome it would be to go out for a shopping spree with one. To that Roxas silently argued of how wrong the girls were; it was much closer at being in kindergarten than fun and happy. The girls went silent only after Cloud was approaching their table. And of course the man chose to sit next to Roxas. Obviously, since you could see Squall from there.

“He'll bring the stuff here in a while.” Cloud managed to mumble, his eyes still locked towards the man working. The green and white striped apron Squall was wearing probably didn't help at all. It was no wonder people kept drooling after him; Squall did look rather alluring in that cute apron and yet managing that coolness, like he had born to wear anything on him and never lose his style. Talk about being a born sex object. Roxas grinned.

Cloud looked like he was lost in his thoughts and kept silent. Sora made weird faces before Roxas and the said twin tried to ignore all his brother was doing. Sometimes he wished Sora would just grow up, but in the end all he could do was to love his idiotic other half, no matter what the twit did. Cloud twitched suddenly and blinked waking up from his reverie.

“I need to get a second job.” Cloud stated seriously staring into the distance. The twins both had moved their eyes to Cloud because of the sudden movement, but the words clearly confused them even more.

“Wh..where did that come from?” Roxas stammered, being baffled by the sudden seriousness of Cloud.

“I just need it. Or one for weekends. I don't care really, I just really need it.”

“Well, I think they are recruiting new staff at Salvation since one of the bartenders quit last week. Riku was cursing about the amount of work he had to do alone because of that.” Sora raised one eyebrow at Cloud curiously. “You have experience in that kind of work, don't you? Since I can like call to the owner right now and tell him that you'd be willing to try it.”

“Of course I have experience. Who do you think has covered Tifa up at 7th Heaven when she was sick?” Cloud glared at Sora. “Make that call.” Clouds words sounded more like threat than a request and he was silent for a moment before adding the magic word. “Please.” Sora merely shrugged and dug up his phone and stood up to be able to talk in peace. Roxas eyed the man next to him, trying to get thru his thoughts just to know why the sudden urge to make more money. Maybe… A thought had born in his head but Roxas wasn’t sure just yet.

Squall decided that precise moment to appear with a tray in his hands and three cups placed upon it. He slumped on the chair where Sora had been sitting and raised one eyebrow at the two blonds. The table next to theirs had gone completely silent.

“Where did Sora go? And why you both look so weird?” Squall eyed the both of them but Cloud remained quiet and stared the table this time, trying not to ogle at Squall. Before Roxas could answer Sora returned and sat next to Squall.

“You can get there tonight for an interview.” Sora reached towards the tray where the cups stood untouched and took the biggest one with a huge pile of whipped cream on top. “Mmm... cocoa.” Next to the smiling boy, Squall was trying to reach Cloud's eyes.

“Interview? What did I miss, seriously?” Squall asked still trying to catch Cloud’s eyes. Cloud's cheeks were gathering red over them and the man absolutely refused to look up.

“He's gonna get to Salvation tonight for a job interview. Actually, you're working tonight too, aren't you?” Sora smiled widely, wiping cream from the corner of his mouth. “You know, take Cloud there to meet the Big Man.”

“You’re serious? Cloud… Why the hell do you need another job? You've got your hands full already with your own business!” Squall sounded almost angry, which was something new. Usually Squall never expressed his emotions this openly in public.

“So what if I take another job? It's not like you're any better.” Cloud had finally managed to lift his eyes to meet the angry blue ones and glared at Squall stubbornly. “You work in two places at the same time too, why shouldn't I. And since you're not my partner, nor my mother, I see no reason for you to get upset.” Cloud scoffed and folded his arms to his chest looking grumpy. Oops, that was almost mean! Roxas thought to himself, hiding behind his teacup. Squall took a deep breath, closing his eyes, probably counting from one to ten thousand.

“Fine.” Squall spat and an uncomfortable silence fell upon the table and the twins looked at each other, thinking the same; Cloud was hiding something and it killed Squall badly. Interesting! This was the first time they actually witnessed the two to argue for real about something. “I'll take you there.”

“I know where the place is and am fully capable of getting myself there on my own, thank you very much.”

“Whoa, guys. Calm down!” Sora cut the conversation before it got too ugly. The men were already glaring at each other with rather cold eyes. This certainly was unexpected thing to happen. “You two sound like you'd been married for ages.” This comment made Cloud and Squall to avert their eyes away from each and to stare the table silently.

“That, or simply a lover's quarrel.” Roxas couldn't help but to add. But it was true. The other two remained silent but a hint of red having made its way to both of their cheeks.

“Excuse me..” Squall suddenly stood up and disappeared from the table, leaving the twins baffled and Cloud, well… Quiet and embarrassed. The twins looked at him for a moment and blinked when he also stood up and excused himself, fleeing after Squall quickly. Sora gaped after the duo for a moment before he burst into laughter. 

“Yeah, definitely nothing to worry about! They're probably apologizing at this very moment somewhere there. Idiots.. Why the fuck did Squall have to get pissed off? Because Cloud wants to work more? I don't get it.” Sora shook his head, lifting the cup to his lips.

  
“He's worried.” Roxas wrinkled his nose, stirring the tea with the spoon. “He hasn't said anything but I'm willing to bet my money on that he's worried of Cloud's well-being.” Sora stared at his brother curiously. “You've noticed it too. That there is something off, with Cloud sometimes.” The brunet twin nodded, after a while.

“Yeah. But I suppose they can deal with it together. You know, they kinda work so well it’s not necessary for either of us to stick our noses into their things. If Squall wants to do something then he will, doesn't matter if Cloud likes it or not.” Grinning, Sora wiped the melted cream to his finger and stuck the finger into his mouth. Roxas stared at him.

“You sure are deceivingly stupid sometimes, but end up being more observant than you let anyone know. I seriously love you for that.” Sora smiled lightly, trailing the wet fingertip over his lips and then dipping it into the whipped cream in his cup. Sora cocked one eyebrow at Roxas and leaned over the table and offered the finger to him smiling widely.

“Yeah, I know you do.” Sora laughed and winked at his brother who had taken the bait and had sucked the cream off of Soras finger.

 

**Squall**

After he had gotten off from work, which had been torture since he kept thinking about Cloud all the time, he had just walked home as fast as he could, only to find the twins gone and Cloud not being there either. Squall sighed, tossing his jacket to the chair in kitchen and ran his fingers thru his hair, not sure what to do with himself right now.

When Sora had announced that Cloud was getting into an interview at the club something just snapped in Squall's head. It wasn't like he had really wanted to get so angry, but there was something more important at stake at that moment than just his appearance in public. The most important thing being Cloud's well being of course. Ever since that talk he had had with Tifa, Squall had been trying to observe Clouds moods and had come to a conclusion that the man was bordering his limits.

And now he wants to work more? Sheesh.. what an idiot! It wouldn't make the situation any better at all. Well, that was Squall's fear, anyway. It was different with him, since he really had no other choice but to work his ass off. The bills didn't pay themselves, the rent either. And he was so used to this overloading of himself that it didn't drain him as much as might have done to someone else.

Cloud had left the laptop he now used at their place as it was easier to keep it there permanently as Cloud rarely went home. Squall had tried to reprogram the old PC but it was beyond repair and had simply replaced it with a new laptop and brand new operating systems. It was more fluent to work with now but Cloud still sat in their living room late in the night doing the paperwork anf other mandatory shit included. Tifa had finally given up her part in the business to Cloud. It made no sense to Squall, really. There had to be some secret reason Cloud was forcing himself to do more, to push him slowly and surely over the edge of sanity.

But Squall knew better than to go and try to stop Cloud if he had already gone and set his mind on something. Stubborn prick.. A sheepish smile reached Squall's lips. It was the same with him too. He was never willing to admit he was on his limits and should back down a bit. All he really could do was to be there if Cloud would need him, would he ask it or not, he would be there. At the moment he was just worried and felt helpless. The anger had faded away as soon as Cloud had ran after him at the cafe and apologized. It had been almost cute. The mere memory made him smile gently.

_“Squall, wait! I.. I'm.. I didn't mean to say that. Of course you're my partner.. No! I mean, not like THAT, but.. my.. YOU KNOW! You just shouldn't get so worked up because of me.. Argh, I don't know what I'm saying! Just that.. I'm sorry. It was totally unnecessary from me. Please forgive me.”_

Though… It really should have been him, who apologized to Cloud, which he had done of course, after he had gathered himself mentally back together. But he should have done it first. It was after all him who had started the pointless argue.

Squall was wandering around the quiet flat, still unable to concentrate on anything. He wasn't even sure would Cloud come with him to the club in the evening or would they go their separate ways. Shit.. The thoughts inside his head were killing him slowly but surely. Something he hated most was to have your head too full of shit and then his usually good concentration level dropped below zero. Maybe he should go to work out some. He glanced at the clock on the wall. Yeah, he still had enough time.

Without really thinking he found himself typing a message and after he had sent it on its way he realized he had just asked Cloud to come to the gym they used in wintertime. Now what exactly was the clever part in that, really? He would be forced to see Cloud working out and usually that made his stomach flip around couple of times. Fuck.


	10. Chapter 10

**Cloud**

_“You up for some work out before evening? If so, meet me at the gym in 20mins.”_

Cloud tossed the phone on his bed and sighed. What was Squall thinking, asking him to work out right after they had almost gotten into a fight just few hours earlier? Wasn’t Squall as embarrassed as he was? Though, on the other hand it was almost logical, since physical exercise made them both lose tension from their minds and bodies. Maybe it would be a good idea, since he was a bit nervous about the interview and nervous because he was so confused too. He had come back to his actual home for once just to get a moment to himself. The episode at the café had shocked him slightly.

Squall’s anger had caught him by surprise and he hadn’t understood it at all. So of course he had reacted badly to it and had snapped back. But the guilt he had felt right after his own bad comments had been a surprise to himself also. Had he… No. It couldn’t be true. Not for him at least. Cloud walked to the window and stared out into the darkening city. Had he started to fall in love?

There was very little he could do if it was true he had fallen for Squall. He had never even considered Squall could possibly have any romantic feelings for him. After that one, admittedly fucking earth shattering, kiss all Cloud could feel from Squall were feelings of brotherly bonding and deep friendship. It was nearly like living in hell sometimes when the object of your desires seemed to be completely cool with just being best buddies. At times Cloud was on the verge of knocking his friend down and simply straddling him to get them close.

Though.. Cloud bit his lip and tapped the window glass he was leaning against and watching down to the street, without really seeing anything that went on there. Would it be too much from him to hope that all the kindness Squall was directing at him could actually have something more underneath? The mere idea made his heart throb faster and his whole body felt hot. Could it really be so? Had he been completely blind, all this time, or was the other just very bad at showing his true emotions? Well.. That was nothing new since he had heard more than once from Tifa, and various other people, that he, the almighty Cloud, was bad at expressing his emotions too. Although in Squalls case Cloud felt like he was an open book; his attraction easy to read on his face.

Cloud stared blankly out, chewing on his lips and frowned. It would be absolutely embarrassing to notice that you'd have gone thru a whole lot of mood swings and taken the bad mood on others just because you'd been so dimwitted, such a fool and an idiot to see there actually _were_ things that could be understood as good signs! Oh.. crap.

But he didn’t want to be disappointed in this matter. Their friendship meant too much to him to be lost just for some silly confession. Cloud shuddered at the thought of submitting himself into such situation where he would tell Squall what he really felt about him. There was no way he could do that without proper proofs.

He suddenly punched the wall with his fist and gritted his teeth. Damn it! He should just get a grip and open his eyes and actually try to see the situation more objectively. Yes, definitely. That would be the best thing to do. This meant he should start right now his observations. Get to the gym and blow off some of the stress.

Glancing at the clock Cloud cursed silently. He was seriously going to be late if he didn't leave right now and his all stuffs were still unpacked. He rushed to gather all the necessary clothes and threw them into the bag before running downstairs to dress up.

 

**Two hours later**

Cloud sighed and stole a glance at Squall who was driving the car towards the club they both were supposed to be in 30minutes time. So, it had not been enough for him to make an ass out of himself at the cafe in front of the twins, but he had also had to make even bigger ass out of himself by forgetting his pants at home, the ones he used when they were exercising. He had noticed this only at the lockers where they were supposed to change clothes. Squall had grinned deviously and had mocked him being an airhead, or something. Embarrassing enough, that one, but didn't even compare to the shame he felt when he had had to borrow Squalls spare pants. He could still hear the laughter of the other in his ears, since the pants were slightly too big for him and had been in danger of dropping all the time.

 _“I never imagined that anyone could actually look adorable in those particular pants, but you do.”_ Squall had commented and then had patted his head, ignoring the deep red over Clouds face. In the end the workout had been brilliant and had cleaned up his mind very efficiently, so now he was calm and definitely ready for making the club owner sure that he was the one they needed to work there.

Squall had not said practically nothing about the upcoming interview, not after they had argued shortly about it at the cafe. Cloud wondered why Squall had really even been so upset in the first place about it. He did have his reasons for wanting to work his ass off, but he had no intention of telling anyone why he wanted to do so. It would just spoil his big surprise if he didn’t keep his mouth shut.

Squall parked the car a block away from the club and for a moment was leaning to the steering wheel, an exhausted expression sweeping over the handsome features. But it was gone before Cloud could say anything and the other had stood up and out of the car already.

“Come on slowpoke, you won’t get any closer just by staring at me.” Squall smiled faintly and closed the door. Cloud sighed, trying to focus a bit more at the upcoming interview and not trying to constantly figure if there was something hidden between Squalls sentences. Just keep it cool, just keep it cool.. like, normal. Ah crap, that would never work. Since when had he even known what was normal anyway? Cloud wrinkled his nose and got out of the car, with an unpleasant look on his face. Squall caught him looking like that and raised one fine eyebrow.

“Just a bit nervous.” Cloud managed to mumble, directing his eyes to stare down at the sidewalk. Squall made a small noise that meant pretty much nothing and remained quiet. Okay, fine. If the other wanted to act like that then he was going to say nothing either. Funny, that Squall was like this now that he had been completely normal at the gym. Cloud was even more confused and it certainly made him irritated.

They walked down the street in silence that was far from being comfortable, like it usually was. Though, Squall seemed more in peace than Cloud was, even if his face was unreadable. Pissed him off even more. No, I can't be angry now! I have to be calm and…

“The office is to the right from the backroom.” Cloud's frantic thoughts were interrupted as Squall decided suddenly to actually say something. Cloud blinked. Oh that's right, he had never been there even though he had been in the backroom more than once.

“What's the owner like anyway?” He had never seen this person and was both curious and deeply disturbed to even think what kind of a person wanted to own a club that held even fetish-events. Squall frowned and then smiled deviously his eyes twinkling, looking straight at Cloud who in his turn started to feel even more worried.

“You'll see.”

 

When he reached the backrooms and the dreaded door Cloud sighed deeply, wanting to end this evening early and fall asleep in hopes of awakening the next morning and everything having fallen back to their rightful places. Like Squall actually wanting to talk normally with him. And Cloud himself having his own thoughts sorted out. Well, into some kind of an order at least. Cloud closed his eyes for a moment and just stood there, before the door he should knock. The winter was going to be hell. That he knew for sure. He already regretted all the foul words he was going to say and even more he regretted the worse mood swings he was probably going to have. And if Squall was going to act like an arse towards his work-my-ass-off-phase, then all the shit would be pretty much doubled. Since, Squall was the haven Cloud needed to have his sanity secured.

Well, he just should deal with it then. Not a chance that he would give up now. Cloud knocked at the door firmly twice.

“Come in.” A voice called from the other side and Cloud entered the room and blinked. He frowned and blinked again.

“......” He was pretty much speechless at the moment. There were two very similar, very devious smiles directed at him as he stood there stupefied and just glared at the two men inside the spacious office, decorated in red so generously Cloud felt like he had walked into a fireplace.

“Close the door, and your mouth, be so kind.” The man behind the table grinned, folding his arms before him, the piercing green eyes following Cloud intensively as he moved to close the door and towards the table where the second man was settled lazily on a cozy looking armchair.

“Wassup Spiky?” Reno grinned even more widely, if possible. “What brings you to greet me and my dear brother this evening?”

“Brother?” He didn't even know Reno had a brother. Well, okay.. so they had not been the closest buddies ever, but still this information was something Cloud should have known. It was easy to see the relativity factor to be true. Both had flaming red hair, green eyes and.. were there tattoos on the other man's face too?

“Yeah, Axel here is my precious younger brother. But do not let his angry face startle you. This fella here is cuddly as a little kitten. Well.. bites and scratches like a little devil he is, most definitely but still, cute and cuddly.” Reno said with a mockingly tender expression on his face.

“Fuck off Reno, you old fart.” Two sets of brightly glimmering eyes set on Cloud who was only able to nod. “Well, good!” Axel stood up and Cloud could now see the man in all his glory. The resemblance between Reno and Axel was quite obvious, though Axel seemed to be taller and skinnier than Reno was. His face was a bit more fine tuned than his brothers and he reminded Cloud of a cat. Axel was also very, very attractive in a way Reno never could be; the sheer smooth sexiness simply oozed out of him. Cloud wanted to look away but just couldn’t. “The job is yours then!” Axel stated suddenly and brought Cloud back to his senses.

“You.. You don't want to know if I actually am capable of handling the job?” Cloud couldn't really believe his ears. Axel looked a little baffled.

“Uh, no. Not really. Sora called me and told about everything there is to know, like, what your little perversions are too.. you kinky pretty boy, and Reno just confirmed it all. Also, I happen to know that you have worked with Tifa. But.. “ The man sure could look menacing when he was glaring straight at him like that, the little tattoos under his eyes making it even worse. “Can you?”

“Yes.”

“Good! You're hired then!” Unlike Reno, who usually just jumped around and made a fuss and mess about things, Axel seemed to have the habit of merely being rather cool. A complete opposite of his brother. “We need mostly help during the weekend's so if it’s fine with you, then it's settled and I'll print out the contract form at some point, but for now.. You should go to the boys and tell them show you around, though you already know pretty much everything around here, don't you.” Cloud felt a little embarrassed at this, but it was true since he had spent almost all his weekends here whenever Squall had been working. Would have been odd if the owner of the club didn't know what was going on in there. Axel had sat down again and was looking much more efficient than his big brother had ever done.

“Right.. ok. Thank you. I guess..” He was still in shock, not really yet having completely understood what just had happen, but everything was good, he got the job and now, he was going to kill Squall since the other must have known this all along! Not to mention what he would do to that small prick when he would get the brat in his hands.

“Don't get eaten!” Reno yelled after him. “And please don't make a massacre out there unless you mean to clean it up yourself!” Cloud drew the conclusion from this that there had been more than one person in this little scheme. Not looking behind him, where the two redheads were laughing in unison, hard, Cloud fumed as he stormed out of the room. The door closed behind him with an angry click, but the only thing he saw at the moment was Squall, grinning widely and staring at him straight into eyes with a victorious glimpse.

“You… You knew!” Cloud managed to snarl and was breath away from punching Squall straight in the face. “Why?” There was a slightly smug look over Squalls face as he was glaring at him. Had he done something so bad he seriously deserved all this cunning behind his back? It did feel like someone had struck a knife thru his lungs. He really hated being deceived.

“Of course I knew.” The taller man slowly melt into gentle smile. “Oh come on now Cloud. Don't be so mad. I just had to participate in this since you went on your own to decide to get another job.” Cloud felt his rage fading, feeling more confused, like he wasn't already enough, about his friend's behavior.

“I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but really.. We're not like married or live together or anything, thus it shouldn't be a problem to you that I don't tell you everything.” Cloud said shuffling on his feet, uncertain of what to say to keep his secret hidden and yet try to make the most important person in his life to stop being annoyed with him.

“We might as well be.” Squall grinned slightly. “And you practically do live with us and _usually_ tell me pretty much everything so maybe we are unconsciously married already. And you’re supposed to be my best mate.” Now that didn't really sound that much of a joke, did it? Cloud wondered if there could be a hidden meaning, trying to see thru the defenses Squall hid himself behind. Even with Cloud Squall was slightly reserved and it had been like that always around certain subjects.

“Yeah, right. Haha, very funny.” Cloud snorted. Like it really could be true that Squall would want to be with a guy like him. Skittish, rude, gloomy… Who would want a partner like that? Seriously, not possible in this lifetime. So even if there ever had been anything warm coming from Squalls direction, it surely had vanished as the other got to know him more and more. Anyone could get bored with him, that much was obvious. “Though, if I was to marry someone it would be my best mate. Just to let you know.” The words just fell from Clouds lips without him giving them a second thought. Squall had stiffened slightly and Cloud had turned his head away from his friend in embarrassment.

The uncomfortable silence ended soon when Squall reached up to pat the Clouds head and smiled a genuine smile, wiping all the remaining anger and embarrassment completely out of Cloud's mind. But as they walked back to the club-area, there was a small unspoken nervousness lingering between them, about the relationship they shared and how they had never said anything out loud about their feelings.


	11. Chapter 11

**Cloud**

It was a few days after Cloud had been employed to the club when he was idly flipping thru today's newspaper in the kitchen. Idly because certain brunet was doing dishes and Cloud of course had the perfect view to the others back and… Once again Cloud yanked his eyes lower and tried to stare the printed words instead, failing miserably at it.

He leaned into his other arm that was resting on the table, sighed silently and thought how damn grateful he was when he was able to have such a wonderful person as his friend. How boring his life would be without Squall. How miserable more likely. It wasn't really that long ago when he had been bordering the depression again.

Cloud's eyes rested on the strong figure. He felt calm whenever Squall was near and enjoyed it now wholeheartedly. Had this happened a year ago it would have made him just uncomfortable. Squall had that amazing impact on him that made him just want to be a better person.

But was it all just friendship?

There were moments when they could fall into such behavior that was common only between lovers. There were times when they joked about the matter themselves. And always after those moments and jokes, there was a long silence that spoke hidden meanings in every said word. It was more than enough to make Cloud ponder things a bit more seriously.

Not that long ago he had admitted to himself he was in fact seriously interested in Squall. And now, as he was this thoughtful, he was ready to admit his little infatuation was more than just that. He was falling in.. Yeah, that big word. That big L. He shifted on the chair and bit his lip as if he was almost scared because of the thought of being in an unknown situation. He had never been in love with anyone. Not really. Not like this.

Cloud frowned. Why was it what he was so scared of falling in love with anyone? Or was it just with Squall? If so, then it might have something to do with the not knowing if Squall just considered him to be a really good and close friend or did the man actually have some other feelings towards him.

He sighed. It was always like this. He tried to rationalize the whole matter and ended in this same vicious cycle of unanswered questions. Of course there was always the option of actually asking Squall what the hell was going on, but that was something Cloud wasn't ready to go for. Not yet. He enjoyed this situation too much to risk it all. Sometimes it was easier to give up and stand back and maybe wait and hope for the impossible to happen.

Squall turned to look at Cloud who was softly smiling at himself. Squall smiled too, warmly. And of course, Cloud missed this impression of clear affection.

 

**Christmas**

**Squall**

The twins had disappeared into the kitchen, to make some coffee with the dessert and had left the older pair of men to sit in silence on the couch in the middle of the mess the gift opening had caused. It pained Squall to just sit like this and not clean up the ripped papers and strings, but maybe he should loosen up just this once. Even Cloud wasn't rushing at collecting the trash up, which was enough surprising to him. Cloud was fiddling with the mp3-player he got from the twins, reading idly the manual booklet about it. Suddenly Cloud turned his head to face Squall.

”I do have something for you.” Cloud said smiling sheepishly. Squall raised one eyebrow.

”Oh? And here I was thinking I had not deserved a thing from you.” Squall grinned, pleased, since he had been a little surprised as the twins had gotten each something from Cloud and he had remained without anything. And yet he had said nothing, wondering in his privacy about the weirdness of the situation. Cloud smiled widely.

”Well.. you've been such a bad boy lately, you certainly do not deserve anything. But since I'm nice and all..” Cloud reached behind the arm of the couch and handed Squall a huge parcel, wrapped in golden paper. As he took it he noticed first how damned huge it was, then noticing the weight of it. He shot a curious look at Cloud and ripped the paper off without any patience. Cloud was wearing a small, nervous smile over his lips as he watched Squall unwrapping the gift.

Finally he was holding a long black wooden box over his knees, looking at its smooth surface that gave out no other indication of what was inside except the huge silver head of the lion. Exactly the one he had around his neck and as a key chain, that too, was all thanks to Cloud. Three silver clips held the lid closed. Gently, heart racing rapidly, Squall opened the box. His eyes widened, mouth went dry and then he simply gasped. Looking up to Cloud, who was still smiling next to him, then back down, again up and down. This was certainly something he had never even dream of receiving!

”You..! This..!” He quickly placed the box on the living room table and jumped to Cloud's arms, half on his lap, hugging the man tightly. ”You stubborn prick! Honestly this is too much!” Squall buried his face to Cloud's shoulder and refused to let go, so close at wailing out loud he was. He felt the blonds’ arms to wrap loosely around his waist and heard Cloud laughing softly near his ear.

”I had to figure something brilliant, as your gift was so generous too.” Cloud tilted his head suddenly and placed a chaste kiss on the brown hair. Squall closed his eyes, inhaling the familiar scent from Cloud's soft shirt.

“I can hardly compare a copy of the apartment key and a new smart phone to this...” He couldn't believe that Cloud had managed to get this particular piece in his hands. It had probably been damn expensive too! Which did explain the lack of any other gifts meant for him. And the double jobs Cloud had been doing since November. “Wait.. Don’t tell me someone ratted out my intention of letting you stay with us permanently to you?” Squall loosened his desperate grip around the shoulders, noticing finally he had nearly jumped into Cloud's lap and was now snuggled to his side quite nicely. He leaned back and searched for the eyes he so loved to look at. Cloud's grin was lop-sided, the blue of his eyes warm and deep, inviting.

“Gee.. try to guess which little bird, or birds, told me a month earlier.” Squall's eyes turned towards the kitchen for a moment and he wrinkled his nose. “Well, all they did was to hint that something big was going to happen, that’s all. So I went and tried to best you.” Cloud winked at Squall who snorted.

“Those little gossip-loving-twits..” Not that he was really mad at the twins for blabbering about his intentions, not really. He was too overwhelmed about what Cloud had given him. “I seriously thought for a moment that you loved those two more than me. Which would have been a fucking disaster, honestly.” Squall grinned, feeling his heart swelling with joy. He let out a very uncharacteristic noise of happiness and leaned forward again to hug Cloud tightly. “You really shouldn't have.”

“I wanted to.” Cloud had not let go Squalls waist and was now tightening his hold and Squall could feel him inhaling deeply. For a moment they were still, before Squall heard the twins to giggle in the kitchen and realized how dangerous it would be them to be seen like this. There would be no end of the teasing if the boys would find them in this position. He loosened his grip, regretting it, as usual. It wasn't very often that they got this close and Squall did love every passing second of these moments.

“If they see us like this.. I don't think either of us can endure the torture they'd make us go thru.” Squall mumbled quietly next to Cloud's ear and immediately felt the arm around him letting go. Sighing, Squall settled back to his previous spot but made sure he was near enough to feel the warmth radiating thru the white blouse Cloud was wearing. Which, Squall noted, suited the man so damn well. “You should wear white more often.” He tried to hide his embarrassment that had crept on his face behind the veil of his brown locks and tried to figure a change of subject quickly. But Cloud beat him by actually answering.

“I promise to wear nothing but white when I get married.” Cloud was laughing softly again and Squall shot a look at the other. What the hell was that suppose to mean? That there was no way that Cloud would wear more white, ever? Or did he have a special someone somewhere that he didn't know about? Cloud had been suspiciously cheery at times lately. Squall shook his head, trying to make the annoying questions disappear before they would ruin his now the most perfect Christmas evening.

Now that he thought of it, it made sense why Cloud had been so damn persistent about taking another job. Squall knew it was hard to work outside during wintertime and honestly, he had more than once thought Cloud would collapse from being so exhausted when he hauled his skinny ass to the club after a long day of deliveries in blizzards, and yet managed to pull out strength to serve the thirsty customers at Salvation. But Squall knew for sure the gift he had received was expensive to the point of being ridiculous; he didn't wonder why Cloud had insisted on working so hard. Though.. it left him questioning the motives of Cloud. Who, to be plain honest, would give their best friend such a present? It had more personal feeling in it, than just friendship.

They sat in silence, hearing how the twins were talking in the kitchen and watching their small decorated Christmas tree and its bright lights. Squall had given up on protesting about the decorations as Sora always won the argument year after year. The world outside was dark and cold, wind howling against the window glass. Squall was happy he didn't have to go outside now. He startled when he felt Cloud moving next to him, shifting so he could rest his head on the Squalls shoulder. He blinked feeling rather surprised but said nothing. Cloud remained silent as well, simply resting there.

Maybe it was because they had drunk wine with dinner before and were slightly tipsy from it, but Squall certainly didn't mind sitting like this. He felt himself leaning against Cloud, wanting to feel more of that warmth against his body. Neither of them said a thing but Cloud moved again giving Squall a perfect chance to slide his arm behind him and take a loose hold around the slim shoulders, pressing their bodies even closer. Both of the let out a small content sigh.

Squall recognized this particular fragrance no matter what state he would be in. The unique smell of Cloud was filling his nose and going straight up to his head, like it was similar with the wine, making him slightly drunk. Cloud smelled clean, like soap and.. today there was something sweet too. Chocolate? It was probably because Cloud had been in the kitchen whole day, creating the fabulous dinner and baking something that was still hidden somewhere in depths of their fridge.

Sitting like this, in silence, Squall always felt a funny warm feeling spreading around his chest and making it ache and throb gently. There just was nothing he wouldn't do for Cloud anymore. He had first thought the attraction of his had merely been physical, because Cloud was, to put it nicely, fucking hot. But after these months they had basically lived together the lust had transformed into something more permanent and stable. If it was the big L yet, that he didn't even want to think about, but something like it. Sure as hell it frightened him and the mere thought that Cloud would never look at him with eyes full of care and affection was devastating.

But he had seen the little looks that Cloud gave him when he thought Squall didn't see. And all the little gestures.. it all was enough for him to believe there would be something mutual in the future. If there already wasn't. He didn't dare to ask since he was afraid that he had only been imagining it all and confirming that would shatter his world and break his poor heart so completely. He had had a shattered heart before, yes, but with the man cuddle next to him it would be a lot worse than it had been back then. Completely different kind of feelings anyway.

Cloud had been in a good mood for the past month and had not dwelt in depression much, not in front of Squall at least. It seemed that Cloud was happier the more work he had to do. Cloud loved to push himself to his limits. That was clear. Somehow it made him a masochist, since seriously, who would _love_ working at two places at the same time, doing housework, looking after late teenagers and a grumpy almost-a-roommate? Well, the only one would probably be Squall himself. Of course at the same time Cloud's behavior was making him worried and yet, happy. For now, things were stable but if there were any hints Cloud was about to break down Squall would insist Cloud would stop the insane amount of work he was already doing.

The blond spikes were soft under his cheek as Squall let his head to rest over Cloud's head. It still amazed him how soft those could be. He had seen them to get wet in pouring rain and during very windy days and yet the spikes never lost their shape. He loved this blond hair and its utter gravity defying form. There weren't many things he didn't like about Cloud. Even when Cloud was depressed or pissed off, or they were arguing about something, Cloud had found his way to Squall's heart and refused to fade from there. It saddened Squall that Cloud didn't seem to know how much he cared for the other. Though.. Squalls eyes wandered over the gift he just got. Maybe he did know. The gift really was a bit too royal gift to hand over to just someone.

The box had contained the one thing he wanted most, when it came to owning materia; a new weapon. A new gunblade. The only version that actually shot bullets and was as beautiful as the frosted trees in moonlight. It must have cost a fortune for Cloud to get. Squall knew they made this particular weapon only when requested and that was enough for him to suspect Cloud had a little more than just friendly feelings towards him. Squall's heart skipped few beats only because he thought of the possibility for Cloud to share these emotions.

The mentioned man was being very quiet, which was nothing new to Squall, but the silence seemed to be deeper than usual. Squall tried to peek down, but saw only the spikes and thru the locks, the tips of Cloud's eyelashes. He seriously couldn't have…

“Hey.. are you sleeping already?” He squeezed the shoulders he had wrapped his arms around and got no response. “Honestly…” Squall sighed, smiling and leaned back to lean his cheek against the blond hair. It was stunning how Cloud could fall asleep so quickly no matter where he was. Not more than once had he found the man leaning to his hand at the cafe Squall worked, and sleeping peacefully right there, in the middle of the busiest time when the place was filled with people rushing in and out.

There was a soft noise from behind Squall that nearly startled him.

“He fell asleep, didn't he?” Roxas' voice was quiet as he walked towards the table, carrying a tray where four cups were steaming. The smaller blond sat on the armchair and seemed to observe the other two on the couch, comfortably placed there so close together. Squall just nodded.

“..not sleeping.” A soft mumbling voice came from somewhere under Squall's chin and Cloud moved as if to prove he actually was awake.

“It's a miracle!” Roxas exclaimed, clapping his hands.

“Fuck off..” Cloud grunted.

“No, seriously, dude.. You can fall asleep almost anywhere and anytime if you're given the chance.” Roxas was grinning deviously at Cloud, who tried his utmost best to look menacing but ended up looking just plain cute since he was still very much cuddled next to Squall.

“And you seriously can sleep with your brother anywhere and anytime.” Cloud's snide reply was enough to just make Roxas' grin only more wider.

“Oh, you bet.”

“Now now, children. Play nice.” Squall cut the bantering short, sounding a little amused too. “We are not going to talk about incest tonight. So behave or I'll make you scrub the bathroom with your toothbrushes.” Cloud punched Squall to his side and Roxas stuck out his tongue just in time as Sora returned to the room with a huge cake in his hands.

“Aww, you're having fun here without me! Not fair..” Sora faked a sad face, placing the cake on the table. Squall felt Cloud cuddled under his chin to move and loosened his hold of the man so he could sit more straight. Though, he never let go completely of the other. He had no intention of even doing so. Let the twins see and torment him later, he just felt like he wanted to be like this tonight.

“You found the dessert, I see.” Cloud stated the obvious, making the twins to snort simultaneously.

“Well, obviously. It's been few hours already since we ate and you know.. you should have put this piece of delicacy somewhere else if it wasn't meant for eating tonight.” Sora grinned, cutting a huge piece out of the chocolate covered cake. “Ooohh.. what's this inside?”

“Raspberry mousse..” Cloud glanced quickly at Squall and then quickly averted his eyes to the floor, embarrassed.

“Really? Then I'll have a piece too.” Squall smiled widely. Sora giggled, cutting a piece and handing it over to Squall who immediately took a spoonful of the softness. He loved dark chocolate and raspberries, more than anything, and their brilliant cook sure did know that. The taste was enough sweet and a bit bitter to make him want to purr. He scooped up another spoonful and held it before Cloud's surprised face. “It's delicious. Say aaa~” Cloud had a confused expression over his face for a moment before he managed to open his mouth and take in the spoon.

Cloud smiled faintly, licking his lips and causing Squall to avert his eyes off from him. The twins were quietly watching them, which was enough for Squall to fear they were on to something, which would only lead into trouble.

“I don't..” Cloud spoke finally and they all turned to look at the man. “..usually even like sweet things, but this really is good. Even if I say it myself…” A faked, self satisfied grin crept upon the pretty face. “I'm just too awesome, ain't I?” Sora and Roxas let out a loud snort, but Squall just smiled widely. He reached over to wipe a crumb of the chocolate from the corner of Clouds mouth.

“Yes, you really are.” Squall's smile turned warm and tender, the twins lifting their coffee cups high and simultaneously cheered something like 'Aye aye, sir!' grinning madly. Cloud blushed furiously and tried to make a serious face, failing miserably at it and hid his face back to the safety of Squall's shoulder.


	12. Chapter 12

**Cloud**

He knew he was dreaming, the way you sometimes just have that knowledge during your slumber. The dream wasn't anything particularly fascinating, just an old memory from the days they were wandering around in a group hunting down some bad guys and doing some stuff that could be understood as good deeds.

Green fields. Those never ending green fields that kept going as far as the eye could see. The grass waving slowly in the wind that blew past. The horizon so bright and blue. And so green and gentle the eyes that watched over his eager steps as he ran forward, never really reaching whatever he was trying to reach. One of those dreams where you can fly but you know you can't in real life, but you still do so.

Something disturbed his senses and he became more aware of his surroundings in waking world than the dream one. Cloud was pretty sure he wasn't alone anymore. There was someone or something staring at him in close range. The dream faded slowly, left the man feeling a little confused about his whereabouts and where the devil was his Buster.

He opened his eyes and faced the gray silence of the familiar living room of the Leonhart residence. Correction; Leonhart and Strife residence now. He also recognized the familiar and highly annoying ogling next his resting form.

“Goddamn it Squall.. How many times do I have to tell to not to do that..” He groaned and saw a flash of teeth as the form of his best friend stooping next to his sleeping place grinned a self satisfied smile. Agh.. Cloud just wanted to drift back to sleep and have an actual day off from any duties. “Go annoy someone else. You've been hanging around Sora too much..”

“Oh, stop being a whiny bitch Cloud and get that bony ass of yours up. We've gotta get out!”

“...” He really didn't want to register those words Squall had just nearly squealed out of his mouth. “W-what?”

“C'mon! You didn't think I wouldn't want to get out to test that new baby you got me yesterday, did you now? Your own fault for giving me that. Now suffer the consequences!” Squall yanked the blanket off the Cloud's body, causing him to make an angry protest at it and pulling the cover back up, holding it tight against his chin, like his life was depending on it. He also tried very hard to stare Squall to death. No results. Damn. Maybe he could suffocate Squall?

“You're insane. It's cold and freezing out there. Like hell I'm gonna get up just to get my ass frozen for your entertainment!” Though he couldn't dismiss the thought of a test fight for the new gunblade was in fact definitely in order, not to mention what a splendid opportunity it would be for him to make Squall suffer for waking him up. It was the cold that kept him nailed to the couch. But, he wasn't good at denying anything from Squall when he was giddily looking at him, his blue eyes bright and full of excitement. Cloud sighed, mentally slapping himself for being an easy prey. “Fine.. You win. But it's your turn to make coffee this morning!” Squall merely grinned and fled the room before Cloud could throw his pillow at him.

An hour later they were standing in the cold morning breeze on the field they usually were sparring. Cloud shivered at the cold and gripped the handle of Buster, as if the leather under his gloved hand would get him warmer that way. To get really warm, there was only one way and he was anxious to get moving. It wasn't like they really needed any warming up since this kind of sport came automatically to them as they set themselves to better positions for the battle to begin.

Squall always chose to stand like that, like nothing was bothering him and he looked so damn bored it made Cloud want to slap that ignorance out of the others system. Cloud's fingers were now almost itching. He paced slowly in the heavy snow, staring at Squall, trying to set his mood more into the tone of sword fighting. It had been a while since they had been able to make it out to clash the swords together, mostly because it had been insanely busy before the holidays.

There was only a slight change in Squall's impression before the man lounged forward. Cloud made a defensive move, Buster met the gunblade with clear clanging sound and the two men jumped backwards from each before attacking both again. They weren't yet completely dwelling in the blissful feeling of battle heat, for now just settled for testing the opponent, but slowly going towards that road.

Cloud danced backwards as the gunblade was again swung to his direction, nearly reaching his cheek. Hastily he had managed to dodge and rolled in the snow, cursing himself for not noticing the forceful blow to take place. Squall was definitely enjoying this and was making it hard for Cloud to have any time to recover or cut any slack just because they were friends. Which, he didn't mind because it would've been plain cheating.

Cloud dived forward as the silvery swing came again towards his way and rolled to Squall's left side, got up quickly and landed a strong slap to Squalls back with the flat of his sword. Squall fell on his knees and let out a strangled huff of air as the hit had most likely emptied his lungs. Cloud hoped he hadn't landed that blow too heavily. Sometimes he didn't just quite grasp the sheer weight of his sword and how it could break bones when smacked against someone. For his delight, Squall was one of those people who didn't go and break even when playing roughly with him.

“That's for trying to ruin my good looks.” Cloud snarled as Squall was getting up. He was then surprised by Squall attacking him with such force he was forced to retreat several meters with his companion landing more hits with his sword. Blocking them all, Cloud grit his teeth and stopped almost in the middle, taking a step to his side and at the same time kicking Squall to his right side with his boot and swinging Buster to finish the surprise and sent Squall again flying into the snow.

“Ruining my hair, aren't you. Asking for more trouble!” Squall grinned as he got up again and spat snow out of his mouth and with one hand he drew the tip of the sword over the snow, ran towards Cloud and flung the blade into air, knowing probably quite well the weapons would only meet in the air. As they did, sparks flew around, clear and visible in the vast morning light.

“How intriguing, Squall, you actually are superficial after all.” Cloud managed a dark smile in between of the swinging swords.

“Shut up, Mr. fancy-pants.” Squall grimaced in return.

“You're welcome to try.”

Squall growled and all Cloud next could figure was Squall having tripped him into the snow with one sneakily landed kick to his groin and suddenly he was the one eating snow and cursing. Cloud reached out with his left hand that was free and took a hold of Squall's ankle and yanked hard. Squall lay in the snow soon enough, again.

“You're two behind, sucker.” Cloud grinned, pushing himself up and sweeping the snow off his clothes. Before Squall was able to land another surprise attack on him, he took the chance and prepared this time better. The bastard had made him wet his clothes! That mistake would NOT happen again.

Indeed, Squall lounged once again towards him, with an extremely cool face, like he was entirely focused on the mission of making Cloud surrender. The gunblade came this time from below, making Cloud to force his enormous sword to twist downwards to block the attack. Buster was big, yes, but he was used to handling its weight and controlling its course when he swung it in any direction. Buster was the extension of his right arm. The second blow came from the left side and Cloud blocked that one too swiftly. The third one came again from below and almost landed on his stomach. He fell to the ground, on his back and quickly rolled to his right to escape Squall's crushing knee that tried to make his family jewels turn into scrambled eggs.

“One more..” Squall was making a rather frightening face at the moment and had it been someone else in Cloud's position, that person would have most likely shitted their pants and ran away as fast as they could. Cloud just dug the tip of Buster to the frozen ground and heaved himself up. The handle was getting slippery from the snow that had melted there. Cloud placed his both hands on it and lifted the terrifying blade before him.

“Come on pretty boy, show me what you got.” He grinned and Squall needed no other reason to prolong his next move and sprang ahead, the tip of his sword moving up from the snow again with frightening speed. Metallic ring in the air as the blades met again, the sparks visible and their grins so wide someone might have thought them to be pretty much insane.

The snow under them started to turn into melting mess, making their feet slip now and then, neither of them really paying any attention to this fact. The sun was starting to rise slowly from the horizon, its beams finding their way to the surface of the swords. Gunblade was bright and clean, shimmered and glistened under the dancing rays and in the hand of its wielder it seemed to form the most elegant courses as it was being flung around. Cloud swung the his huge blade, noting the same time the beauty of Squall's weapon and its master, appreciating the view the way only someone like him could. Beauty divine, that it was to him.

Squall was just about to surge ahead when his feet found the right spot of melting snow and an area of ice forming under it. He slipped and fell on his bottom, looking baffled the moment his ass hit the ground with an audible thud. Cloud stared down at Squall, unable to determine should he thrust his sword down and announce his obvious victory or should he help his friend. He decided to fall for the third option. He started to laugh.

“Nice fall.” Cloud mocked, his cheerfulness rising as Squalls face turned more offended than anything.

“Oh shut up and help me up.” Squall raised his hand for Cloud to help him, but when Cloud took the hand, there was in no time two men lying in the snow. “There, that should make us even.” Squall grinned deviously, satisfied he had managed to get Cloud down one more time and wet his clothes more.

“If I get sick because of this, I'm going to ram that sword up your rear.” Cloud said but couldn't help to smile too.

“Then I'll just have to nurse you back to being healthy again.” Squall stated calmly, running his fingers thru his partially wet hair dark locks glued to his sweaty face.

“As if that would ever happen. I'm not suicidal, you know. Even though did I let myself get dragged out in the middle of the night just for sword fighting. And with you, of all the nutty people around me..” They scrambled back up to their feet, cleaning their clothes off of the snow. Squall gestured at Cloud with his hand something inappropriate as an answer and went on then to check his sword.

“You know..” Squall was holding the gunblade high before his face and looked at the smooth surface one eye closed. “There seems to be scratches over on my precious blade.” His voice got a little lower and little more menacing. “You DO know what the punishment is for whacking that big butchering knife of yours so hard it damages the perfect surface of MY sword!” When he finally looked at Cloud he found the space being empty and the blond hair only visible in the far distance. Squall grinned, placed his sword to its scabbard and pondered for a moment should he try shooting Cloud instead of running after him. Nah, would be too cruel, he would let Cloud get away with it. This time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Cloud**

The blizzard outside was enough to make him want to just cuddle under the blankets and drift to sleep, but noo.. he had to have a shift this evening and thus, was forced to go out there. Actually, all of them would have to get out and freeze their butts. The howling wind would probably blow him off. Hmm.. Now there was an idea, certainly. Maybe the wind would just lift him off and carry to somewhere hot and more pleasant. Sunny, even.

Cloud sighed, defeated.

It was New Years and he had promised to take an extra shift at the club since there was a bigger party arranged and they certainly needed more staff to work at the bar. It didn't bother him to work, of course not. He had kept the job even after he had gained all the money to buy the weapon to Squall for Christmas. Cloud smiled, fiddling with the hem of the kitchen window curtain. Yes, he definitely had figured something else he wanted to have. And that was something a bit bigger and a wee bit more expensive than upgraded weaponry.

Of course, he had not said a word to Squall. The man would only get more worried, which was enough for Cloud to shut his pretty mouth for the moment. He would reveal his plans if things would go well.

A jingling chime of the doorbell startled Cloud out of his thoughts, making him rush at the door and wonder who the fuck would be there at this hour. The twins were still in their room and Squall was taking a shower, so it was none of them. Maybe Reno was bored and was daring to interrupt their blizzard-filled evening?

Oh, but no. How wrong could one be. The man who stood behind the door was a complete stranger to him and it seemed to Cloud, that seeing him open the door was enough to make the other man confused too.

“This is the Leonhart residence, am I right?” The man was smaller than Cloud was, and tightly dressed in winter clothes which revealed only the blue, curiously twinkling eyes and pale, frostbitten skin.

“Yes..?”

“You ain't Axel so I guess Squally has taken either a butler or you're his new boyfriend.” The scarf was tucked down and the hood of the jacket pushed down to the neck. Cloud was now able to see the facial tattoo of the blond man and what an interesting hairstyle, suddenly it was clear he wasn't the only one in the world whose hair defied the law's of nature. The words entered his mind after a moment and Cloud frowned. What did Axel have to do with Squall? “I'm Zell. Nice to meet you. Mind if I get in?”

“Sure..” Cloud was too baffled to say anything else and let the other walk inside the flat. After closing the door he froze to his feet. Wait. Did this Zell person just hint that Axel had.. been.... Squall's.. Cloud's brains tried hard not to explode at this point. The thought of Axel.. THAT AXEL?! He was on the verge of punching the door, trying to control his facial expression enough not to reveal the furious jealousy that had shot up to his head like a rocket.

“Are the guys at home? I haven't seen the little pricks in years.” Zell was taking off his warm jacket and just as he was hanging it up, there was a surprised squeal further from the flat. Sora had emerged from the twins' room and was now tackling the small blond man.

“Uncle Zell!!”

“Oh shi.. Damn you have grown a lot Sora! You actually reach the lowest branches now by the looks of you!” Zell was all smiles and grins now, hugging the clinging boy tightly. “Where's your better half? I know he must be here since you never are separate..”

“Well, if it isn't the infamous wiener-man..” Roxas' snide was merely amused as he peered into the corridor to see what the racket was all about.

“Hey, that was only once and it was an accident. We do not speak about it anymore.” Zell grinned even more wide, if it even was possible. Roxas let out a childish, very unlike of the boy, giggle and rushed to hug the man.

Cloud was standing there, feeling more than enough a stranger. It was uncomfortable to be there to witness such a warm meeting of people who obviously were very fond of each other. Roxas was the first one to notice how expressionless face Cloud was having and untangled himself from Zell, who was having his hands still full of giggling and squealing Sora.

“Ah. Cloud. This is an old schoolmate of Squall's; Zell Dincht. Zell, this is our roommate and Squall's second hand in about everything; Cloud Strife.” Cloud didn't even notice himself to move, but he seemed to have put on a slightly warmer impression over his face and was shaking the hand of the tattooed man.

“Ohh.. Then you're not a boyfriend or a butler. Damn.. I could've sworn you to be either one.” Next to Zell, Sora's smile suddenly had faded as he studied the clearly faked half-smile Cloud was giving to the grinning man.

“No, he's definitely not a butler tough he does cook and do the laundry.” A low voice sneered from the direction of the bathroom, where Squall had emerged, hair dripping water still and, on Cloud's opinion, looked drop dead sexy. Squall wore an unreadable smile over his lips as he studied the blond man who had made a fuss to their peaceful evening. “Nice for you to finally stop by. It took you almost 6 years to do so, but who's counting.” Squall finally was melting into a devious grin.

“Hah, and you still are an ass. The years seem to have been rough on you, you old fart. You look old and wrinkled. Have the boys given you a hard time?” Zell had finally gotten rid of Sora's death grip and was trying to gather some air to his lungs.

“Hard time? Oh no. It would be the other way around more, I'd say.”

“Well, that I can believe.” The newcomer burst into laughter that reminded Cloud immediately about Reno. Maybe Zell was a distant relative or something as insane.

“So, what brings you here on this nasty weather?” Squall motioned the man to follow him to the kitchen and the two disappeared there, leaving Cloud standing in the corridor with the twins. He was having hard time to digest all that had happened in the past ten minutes or so. His brains were sort of not functioning at the moment. At all. He needed a moment of peace now. And yet all he wanted to do was to follow the two men into the kitchen and to listen everything they said, look at their faces and try to read everything between the lines.

“Earth to Cloud.. You still with us?” Sora was waving his hand before Clouds face and the man blinked, trying to focus to the surroundings a bit more. “You know, Zell's always like that. Kinda like Reno. Blurts stuff out of his mouth without thinking. So don't take the butler thing to your heart! To us… You know, you are more like a mothe...NGH!”

“What the twat here is trying to say, is that you are like a member of the family, nearly blood related.” Roxas had once again quieted his brother with a hand slapped over the blabbering mouth and tried to save the situation as much as he could. Cloud did appreciate the gesture more than he probably did show.

“I'm fine.” Cloud just stated and shot a look towards the kitchen, yearning to be there.

“Seriously, go there. I'm sure they won't mind.” Roxas tried to keep his wriggling brother still, having never uncovered his brothers’ mouth; pretending to be oblivious to the discomfort he was causing Sora. Cloud was hesitant tough, thinking mainly that this was probably the feeling after someone had performed a lobotomy on you.

After the twins had practically forced him to enter the room with the two men Cloud found himself standing stupefied at the kitchen door not knowing did he want to flee from the scene or did he want to strangle someone. Or did he want to sit down someone and interrogate Zell with highly dubious methods.

Zell was just explaining something with his hands waving in the air and Squall smiling a smile that made Cloud's heart skip a beat. Had Squall really been together with Axel? Had they been in love? How long? Who had broken up with who? His head was about to explode from not knowing, the feeling of it gnawing his insides so furiously it made him want to hurl. Maybe he had just misunderstood the whole thing.

“Ahah, I'm sorry about that before, man. Just was surprised to see a pretty boy opening the door and then to notice that you most likely could kick my ass thru the wall or something so I kinda figured you'd be his... Aaaann~nyway! So, I'm old friend from the grumpy's boarding school era.” The smaller blond was smiling a genuine warm smile trying to convince Cloud about his intentions to be nothing but friendly.

“I'm still waiting for you to explain your reason to actually get your ass out in that weather.” Squall motioned Cloud to come closer. “Don't just stand there, dummy. Sit.” Cloud tried to shake the image of him being a dog out of his mind and simply slumped next to Squall who flashed him a reassuring smile. Oh that smile. It made his knees feel so weak he wanted to beat himself up for being defenseless before this man. He wanted to do the most embarrassing things with Squall, including whole lot of snuggling and dozing off under the same blanket. Why the hell had his mind turned into pink mush? Lucky for Cloud none of his inner turmoil was visible to anyone else. His face remained expressionless and distant. This should’ve been a big, flashing, red warning sign to Squall that something was off but he was oblivious to anything that sort at the moment.

“Oh yeah!” Zell moved on his chair the way it made him look like he had nearly jumped a bit in the air. “I'm a messenger. Sort of. Haha.” He dug his pockets and pulled out a little wrinkled letter and slid it over the table to Squall. “That's my reason for my daredevil venturing out in the blizzard, though it wasn't snowing that much outside the town, u know, I came a looong way just to see your dazzling smile.” Squall took the envelope and eyed it curiously. It seemed to have taken some damage during Zell's little journey here. The messenger was leaning to the back of the chair happily grinning as Squall opened the envelope and pulled out a card.

“Oh.” Squall let out an almost surprised gasp and then smiled. “So they're finally making it official, huh.”

“Yeah. Took long enough 'cuz Irv ain't around so often because of his job. But now he got a promotion or something like that and can stay in town all the time, which of course led into this.” Cloud was following the conversation in silence, having already figured what the letter most likely was.

“My other two friends from the same school Zell and I went are getting married. Finally.” Squall turned to face Cloud and smiled. “We've waited this since we graduated.” He eyed the card again. “You know.. Selphie would kill you if she knew what state the invitation is at the moment.”

“Agh, don't even dare to go and tell about that to her! She'd rip me in pieces… In mere seconds!” Zell did manage to look a little guilty. “Honestly. Dude, have you heard the word 'bridezilla'? She's exactly like that. Irv's safe and sound and manages to squirm out of Selphie and her rage-range easily, but the rest of us.. not a chance. Nu'uh, never.” There was a hint of panic in his voice and the blue eyes momentarily seemed to flash tired. But only for a fleeting second and then the small man was grinning again.

The two continued their conversation while Cloud kept his mouth shut, just observing silently. Of course, there was nothing alerting about Zell, now that he had the time to listen the man chatting happily about things that had happened since the last time the old friends had gotten together. Cloud glanced at Squall, who wore an unexpected little smile over his lips. Squall was visibly pleased to see and hear news about these people. Cloud had never really understood that aspect of thoughts, his own past was mostly so painful and full of more or less angry people wanting him to be dead or something as negative as that.

“So. Squall.. You will come with the boys?” Zell finally asked, looking almost serious for a moment. He also shot a curious look over at Cloud. “And perhaps your.. friend too?”

Squall startled and looked at the man sitting next to him, like the suggested idea was something that had never crossed his mind. Which was probably true. Cloud sighed to himself and offered the baffled Squall a lop-sided smile.

“I'm sorry, but it is not really my place to be as I am not connected to the family in any way. But thank you for being considerate. Also I have my job to consider because I can’t get off easily.” Squall's eyes revealed nothing to him, not even a hint of disagreement. Zell was shooting curious looks between the two, trying most likely to figure was someone going to explode. Cloud stood up, averting his eyes downward. “I still need to take a shower. Squall, we need to get to the club in an hour or so. Zell, was nice to meet you.” He escaped the room as gallantly as he could without his anxiety pushing thru.

This was getting out of hand, this feeling. He should calm down or he would ruin the whole evening. Cloud retired into the bathroom, feeling so rotten he wanted to hurl right now. But, he was determined not to lower himself to a level of a nervous little girl. Straight into the shower then, eh. Most definitely a freezing cold one! Maybe that would cut the green monster from his shoulders and grant him the chance of speaking normally again.

 

**30minutes later**

After the calming shower, and some angry tears that sneaked into the stream of falling water unnoticed, Cloud felt stable enough to return to the midst of his friends. The twins greeted his appearance with long silent glares when he stepped into the living room.

“We're almost late.” Cloud growled at the boys, who looked more or less eager to scold him or something as cheery. “What?”

“You sure you aren't on periods or something? You kinda behave like someone has pissed in your morning cereals.” Sora sniggered, tilting his head towards his brothers’ shoulder. The blond twin flashed an evil grin this time, not even trying to keep his mouthy brother quiet.

“And for what do I deserve these comments?” Cloud cocked one eyebrow at the twins.

“Well... You could say it has something to do with your behavior with certain people about 30minutes earlier.” Sora continued his smile disappearing slowly. “Dude, you were so transparent. Makes you rude as hell, you know. Good thing Zell is used to Squall's blunt statements so he just ignored you.” Cloud managed to look at least a bit embarrassed.

“That was just.. because..” Cloud stammered, thrown off his balance. Fantastic. He should just shout his every thought out loud since he was so transparent.

“Oh, we know. You got a wee bit baffled because he burst here without a warning, called you Squallies boyfriend and then even semi-invited you to the wedding with us. Almost like as a family. Enough to make one snappy.” Roxas finally spoke, ignoring his snickering brother. Cloud shuffled on his feet, staring at his toes.

“Long story short; Squall's a bit pissed at you.” Sora smiled that annoying smile of his.

“Well, not sure if he's pissed at him, but more likely annoyed.” Roxas corrected, his smile as annoying as the similar one next to him.

“Yeah, that's the word.”

“So, basically I'm fucked.” Cloud groaned. The twins grinned in unison.

 

**In the car…**

The twins had been lured into defying the calming blizzard by Zell, who was going to his hotel and wanted the boys to escort him there. Twins had insisted Zell to stay at their place but the tattooed man had just grinned and the subject was left at that. Also, Sora and Roxas had agreed to this adventure in the snowy streets because they wanted to force Cloud and Squall into same car and to sort out the little misunderstanding, before they would be sucked into working all night long.

That was the reason for Cloud sitting in Squall's car, staring out without really seeing anything. Ok, so he was still feeling a bit pissed because he didn't want to have this information about Squalls past. It would have been easier if he didn't actually _know_ Axel that had laid hands on Squall. It irritated him that he had been acting like a petulant child. Squall was driving in silence, which made Cloud want to just say something. _Anything_!

“You know.. uh, Squall. I'm sorry that I was an ass. Before. Towards your friend.”

“Mmh..”

“You know.. I just got baffled. Because he's more talkative than Reno and Sora put together.”

“Oh.. true that one.” A hint of a smile appeared to the corner of Squalls lips finally. Cloud swallowed hard, deciding to reveal the reason for his bluntness. If he didn’t he would soon drown into his jealousy.

“He also said something about Axel.” Cloud's voice was as emotionless as he could make it. Squall's eyes widened for a moment, the smile disappeared fairly fast, which was enough for Cloud to realize his fears were few steps closer of being true after all. He just couldn't make himself to ask _the_ question.

“Oh. That.” It was rare for Squall to be at loss for words and now it made him feel even worse, hearing it. “I've known Axel a long time. He used to hang out with me when I still lived in Twilight Town.” Squall was avoiding Cloud, simply staring out over the steering wheel. Cloud wanted to scream; Yeah?! Just like we are just _hanging out_?! But he remained quiet and just nodded.

“Kinda figured.”

The silence crept upon them like a sneaky thief, trying to cut their ability to speak at all. After a while, Cloud just couldn't take the pressuring silence anymore.

“I hope it won’t get too packed.”

“Don't worry. If you start feeling bad you can just escape to the backroom. Or just send me a message and I'll come dashing to save you.” A highly meaningful pause. “Again.” Squall grinned lightly, causing Cloud to snort, but smiling anyway too.

 

**After midnight**

Since it indeed was New Years, and there was a party thrown for it and like in almost every bar there was in town, it was expected to attract a lot of people. But Cloud had never in his wildest dreams, nightmares, in this case, had imagined the club to be this full. It was almost frightening, but he had decided to keep his head cool and get thru the night. Alive, if possible.

The amount of people inside of course caused the bar itself to be the busiest place and had forced the workers to increase their numbers up to six -usually there was only three of them- and even Axel had joined their merry group.

There was pretty much no moment of peace granted to any of them, but somehow Cloud managed to keep his eyes on the handsome owner, who was laughing with the customers so freely and flirting shamelessly. He could somehow see why Squall had set his eyes at Axel. The man was seriously gorgeous if you just got past all the weird twitchy moving and facial tattoos. Not to mention Axel had the most vivid green eyes that seemed to undress anyone just by looking. If he hadn't been so pissed off he might have thought Axel to be quite charming too. The man was fluent with his interacting with people and made everyone feel like they were definitely the only ones getting his attention at the time.

The music was so loud, there were a bunch of DJ's performing tonight and Cloud had hard time hearing the orders that were shouted from the other side of the counter. He tried to keep his attention focused on his work and customers but his eyes inevitably found their way back to the red spikes no matter how much he tried. Axel usually let his red hair flow free but tonight it was so hot inside even he had put the locks on a ponytail. Sadly Cloud noted it made Axel look even cooler than he already was. The same questions kept spinning in his head on and on, like a huge wheel that would never stop; Really? When? Serious? Why they had broken up?

He really hated himself for going over these things when he should have definitely been just happy the relationship didn't exist anymore and Squall was free to direct his attention towards Cloud. Ahah, yeah right. Like that would ever happen. But still, it killed him to even think Squall touching someone else, or ever looking at them.

He was too busy with his thoughts to notice Axel had disappeared at some point. Cloud shot an angry searching gaze into the crowd behind the wall of thirsty customers. The red hair should be easy to spot, at least.

His blue eyes moved swiftly, almost panicking about the room that was filled with people clothed in black and flashing lights, looking for that one person he so much wanted to glare but was unable to find his target. It didn't definitely help at all when the people ordering drinks tried to hit on him, no exceptions. Most evenings he found it mostly amusing and slightly annoying, but not today. Cloud felt like his faked smile was starting to fade very rapidly the more he was forced to endure the half assed suggestions. He could let Squall to beat them into a bloody pulp… His eyes moved automatically towards the stage and the DJ's stand to see his friend.

Suddenly his heart seemed to stop.

Squall was indeed on the stage and looking good in every way. The only thing that was making Cloud almost completely lose his self restraint was the teeny tiny fact that the person he had been looking for was to be now found next to Squall. And looking as dashing as one can while very obviously trying to hit on the person next to you. Cloud nearly evaporated steam out of his ears as the two men on the stage were smiling together to something Axel had said.

It tore his heart apart to see those two close like that when he had no damned right to feel like this. And having to witness that little caress over Squalls bare arm with the redhead’s slim fingers… He shivered almost violently because of suppressed anger.

Cloud squeezed the lemon slice into his fist, the juice squirting over the table. Fuck that! If Squall was so eager to let his ex-lover to touch him then Cloud was free to do as he wished. Why was it that Squall nearly jumped out his skin if Cloud accidentally touched him. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Of course, Cloud never admitted to anyone else the only person he wanted to make out was Squall and no one else. He was too furious and had to rip his eyes off of the flirting couple on the stage, focusing on his chores for the moment, angrily making the drinks. He got questioning looks from the co-workers of his and naturally from the customers who had to receive his stubborn anger thru the making of drinks that nearly fell all over the counter.

He had to do something or else he would end up screaming at someone who had nothing to do with his foul moods.

“I need to take a break.” Cloud yelled at the younger man next to him working. Riku just nodded and merely lifted one eyebrow, asking silently if everything was ok. Cloud just waved and fled the counter as smoothly as he could in that state of mind. He would apologize later to Riku of his behavior.

Now, he had not planned to go to face Squall and Axel, never, but.. it seemed he was on his way towards the stage and to actually confront the two men. Or to beat them. Just because he felt like it was just the thing to do to ease his painfully throbbing heart. He was nearly reaching his destination when he bumped into someone.

A flash of green eyes and pointy red hair. Reno grinned widely at him.

“Thought you were working!” The smaller man yelled into Cloud's ear.

“I was. I mean I am! I just.. had to..” Reno was standing face to face to him. Cloud could feel the narrow body and its pulsing heat thru his thin shirt. He could almost feel the heartbeat too. Or maybe it was his. Those green eyes were drilling into his skull and emptied it swiftly.

Before Cloud could even think properly he had grabbed the redhead and pulled him close and into a rough kiss.

Reno's body seemed to stiffen for a moment. It took just a fleeting second for him to take action and grab a hold of Cloud's head in return, forcing their faces even closer and the kiss to deepen.

Cloud felt like his world was spinning fast around him and he could do nothing to stop it.

Finally he freed himself from the now curious looking Reno. Cloud said nothing and did nothing. He was stupefied by his own stupidity. Now what exactly had been the point of doing that? The thought of Squall's kiss lingered somewhere in his thoughts and he was comparing it to this kiss he had just participated. Oh yeah, Squall. He had wanted to punch Axel's face and do something evil to Squall too. It all seemed so vague and irrelevant now.

As Cloud finally had lift his eyes to the stage he found Squall still there and found the man was looking rather gloomy and was glaring at Cloud directly. No.. actually that face was blank as white paper. Which could only mean that Squall was pissed off. Badly.

Time for Cloud to flee from the scene…


	14. Chapter 14

**Squall**

So. Cloud had done something extremely stupid. Why? Or more likely; why was it pissing him off so badly? He was pretty sure the little scene he had witnessed had been nothing but fake. It had been like that, right? RIGHT?! That look on Cloud's face just a moment before the kiss, Squall had accidentally seen it and it made him feel like someone was squeezing his insides into a tight fist, It had been a face full of darkness of the stormy skies. Obviously something had pissed Cloud off and thus had made him act like he never would, had he been sane enough to think.

Squall was pacing the backstage from room to room, arms folded before him, his mind trying to stay calm. He wanted to punch something or someone, very badly. His fists tightened and he made a sudden stop before the wall and hit it with all his might.

“FUCK!” Okay, that hurt. Squall bent his fingers enough to feel pain but to be sure nothing had broken. The skin was red and tingled as the pain was no longer nothing more than a throb. Had it been the wanted distraction to remove his bad feelings inside? No. He growled and turned away from the wall. Stupid wall…

Squall had to stop again. Cloud was standing in the doorway and looking at him with colder eyes Squall had ever seen before. The blue of those orbs were bordering freezing death already. Not that he would look away, oh no.

There was uncomfortable silence between them as they stared at each other, neither really wanting to open their mouth and start talking. Finally Squall gathered his thoughts enough.

“So.. Got anything to say?” He did try to sound calm and uncaring. Cloud shifted on his feet uncomfortably.

“About what?” Cloud was clearly sulking and it somehow was irritating Squall even more than he was ready to admit.

“Like you don't know what I'm referring to.” The comment was a bit too snappish he had meant it to be, but it was too late now. He should just let it all out now that he was doomed to perish anyway because of this. “You could've told me a little earlier but maybe I should just congratulate you. You know, for finally coming out of the closet and in public too.”

Cloud was gaping at him and tried to grasp desperately to some sane thought.

“WHAT?!” Cloud finally growled angrily. “Like who's the one to announce your getting back together with your old flame in public! Your boss, to make it even more interesting!”

It was Squall's turn to be at loss of words. What the fuck was Cloud talking about? Axel? And how the fuck had the man come up with the idea of him and the redhead ever having even been together? Of course it was true, but that wasn't the point here now!

“What the fuck are you babbling about?! There's nothing between me and Axel.”

“Yeah, right. Nothing at all. Like anyone's going to believe that. Judging the way you two were nearly on each other on the stage it was pretty damn obvious there's SOMETHING going on! Don't try to fool me Squall, I know what flirting looks like when I see it.”

“Oh, look who's talking! It's not like YOU weren't the one to actually try to dip your tongue into Reno's throat in the middle of the crowd!” Squall was definitely getting more and more pissed all the time. How the hell did Cloud even _dare_ to say that shit?

“Right, yea.. well! That was.. just because you..! I wasn't trying to stick my tongue into Reno's throat!” There were clear spots of red over Cloud's cheeks as if the man would be embarrassed about the thing he did. Yeah, right. As if he was.

“Me? I haven't done a damned thing so don't you try to roll the blame on me! You're the one who clearly jump into stupid conclusions and act before your pretty little head can follow.”

“I _saw_ you up there. You were _smiling_ and standing close with Axel and.. You didn't even admit that you two had been together before when I asked you about your relationship with Axel!”

Squall glared a moment at Cloud without saying a thing. So that's why Cloud had been so grumpy when they had left the apartment. Where could he have learned about him and Axel... The answer hit him suddenly. Argh.. That over-talkative Zell. He had to be the source. Zell would face the evident dismissal of his testicles sooner than he would expect.

“Fine! Yes, me and Axel were together once, but it didn't last long and we remained as friends after that. And the reason why Axel was standing so close to me before was because he was simply telling me the funny little thing called _his boyfriend_ had said and it was kinda noisy out there so it's pretty fucking obvious why we lean in to get our words thru! Happy now?” He tried to drill a hole thru Cloud's stupid head. What a dumbass.

“...” Cloud was out of words and seemed to be more embarrassed than before. If he had not been, Squall probably had never even considerate about forgiving him this thing.

“If you are able to feel sorry for causing unnecessary shit then we won't talk about this ever again.” He paused for a moment to take a deep breath and to calm himself down. “And I'm willing to forgive you if you will never bring this subject up again. Deal?”

“...” Cloud was staring the floor. “Deal.” He did seem to be truly ashamed of himself.

“Great. Now, let's get home before I'll get more pissed and ruin my upcoming good night's sleep.” Fucking dimwit.. He felt like hitting the wall again and knew it would be impossible to see Cloud's face for a few days. What a start for a new year. 

 

**New Years Day**

**Cloud**

Grey light was already pouring in thru the closed curtains when a certain blond man, wrapped in warm clothes appeared on the door and made his way in. He sneezed softly and shivered as the warmth embraced him in the corridor after the chilly morning air. The run had not been very good, as his mind was still lingering on last night and the unspeakable stuff he had pulled off in front of Squall.

Embarrassment swept over and Cloud felt like sinking under the floor. How low can you honestly go! Had he actually _kissed_ Reno? For fuck’s sake.. please tell me that was just a bad dream.

Sadly, all of it was true and he sat on the edge of the couch, scratching his head. He didn't really want to be here at the moment but he didn't want to be back to 7th Heaven either. It was most likely empty and quiet, even if Tifa would be there. The unresolved situation kept him nailed to this place, no matter how he wished himself far, far away. He hated just about everything at the moment. Everything was going down the drain anyway so why not mope a bit more! At least he knew how to do that properly, if nothing else.

The uneasy feeling grew inside him and all he wanted to do was to go and beg forgiveness from Squall. Of course he would do that, right after his pride would give in and he could mutter something positive out. Which, would happen probably.. not in this lifetime. He sighed deeply, ran his hands thru his spikes and got up. He should just suck it up and go home before things would get ugly as Squall would get up. He paced nervously in the living room, not knowing where to turn or what to do first. He wanted to flee from here, since he felt guilty as hell as this was not completely his home after all. He had the keys and his name was on the door but still it wasn’t… You know? Complete move in. And then again, he wanted to stay and apologize the bad things he had done and said, but was shit scared to open his mouth. And his pride would make his mouth say something quite the opposite he was planning to say.

Rage lifted its ugly head inside him. There was of course the matter of Squall's fury. Why had the man gotten so angry at him? They were just friends, as they both always claimed the situation to be. Had the anger sprung from jealousy? No, not that. It wasn't possible for the other to feel that way. The man was cold as a fucking fish when it came to matters of heart. Maybe Squall just wanted to be the one to say whom Cloud was allowed to meddle with and whom not! Disgusted, Cloud made an ugly face and discarded the thought quickly. Squall wasn't a bad person, just bad tempered and too introverted most of the time, making the man a complete mystery to most people.

Lately, Squall had started to feel a mystery to even him, Squall's best companion. It didn't help at all that _he_ was himself so infatuated with Squall. What a fucking awesome mess.

Noise from the kitchen startled him in the middle of his frantic pacing. He sneaked to the door, fearing ,and hoping, it would be Squall. If it was Squall, then things would get either very cold or very heated. Either it would be, it would be very uncomfortable. But it was something he should get thru with. Taking a deep breath Cloud stepped into the kitchen.

“Hi Sq.. Sora.” Cloud halted dumbly at the door, recognizing the person standing there. Sora turned away from the coffee he was making and grinned widely.

“Seeing things already, are you? I might have the same messy mop above my head but I'm no Squall, that's for sure. Too short and too gorgeous to look like a scruffy old nerfherder.” Cloud wished he hadn't opened his mouth at all and slumped against the door frame.

“Yeah, I'm just slowly going mad with desire and blah blah blah. Give it a rest, will you? I'm not in the mood for bickering with you now.” Cloud commented wearily and Sora looked baffled for a moment.

“Whoa, calm down.” He smiled genuinely. “I know why you're so grumpy so I won't hold your words against you, even though I am _deeply_ hurt!” Cloud winced a little. “Honestly, you didn't expect no one to notice your “little” scene? Not to mention the yelling in the back room.. should've seen Axel, his face was so red it matched his hair when people heard his name said. Or yelled, whatever.”

“...” Cloud had turned rather pale. “I think I shouldn’t… go there anymore. In fact, I should just leave, right now, before Squall wakes up.”

“Why the fuck would you do that for?” Sora cocked one eyebrow. “It's perfectly normal to argue with people, even in high volumes. Scruffy there won't be mad at you long, not if you go all puppy eyes at him. I know that man so well I'm predicting he'll get down here and won't even mention the matter. He might be a little miss pissy-pants for a while, but hey.. domestic peace and all that shit? Just wait and it'll go away.” The boy shrugged, smiled and looked like everything actually was so simple as he had put it.

Cloud wasn't so sure. He knew himself and knew how Squall reacted to him. It was a fucking mine field where he was walking, no more talking about thin ice.

 

**Evening**

The whole day had been an insane whirl of snappy remarks and go to hell glares and uncomfortable silences. Cloud's head was aching and he wanted to punch himself for being a stubborn ass and refusing to go and swallow his pride up to ask forgiveness. It was simply an impossible task.

Squall was pouting, avoiding the subject, keeping himself busy with nonsense and all the while looking most uncomfortable. They had avoided each other the whole day until it was getting dark outside again. Cloud had tried actually to leave but Sora had turned out to be a miserable brat after all and had blocked his way out every time.

Squall was sitting gloomily on the couch at the moment, idly playing something, looking like an impenetrable mountain of ice. Cloud wondered what went on in that head of his. Was Squall really still mad or was he just pretending not to care? He guessed it was the latter one. Squall usually did that; didn't go around caring much about other people, unless it had become too personal for him to discard easily. Pathetic, really. They both were brilliantly pathetic with this nonsense.

Twins were, as usual, smiling at the older men, and as Cloud usually put it; it looked more like they were hunting predators, watching their prey from distance rather than just smiling genuinely for something. At a moment like this, he had an urge to punch the brats. Too bad he was unwilling to get pressed with changes of abusing someone.

It really did tear his nerves, to know his own limits and his wish to break them and yet, not being able to get himself in action. He breathed deeply and prepared to say something but as he glanced at Squall, the living iceberg who was bigger than the one that sank Titanic, Cloud just swallowed his sad attempt of an apology. The words felt like they were to choke him. Oh shit, he needed some air, right now.

Cloud left the room, not really anymore paying attention to anyone else.

The cold wind and flurry of snow greeted him as he stood outside on the street and he buried his hands to his pockets. The air felt like a cooling towel on his face, calming his senses. He was thinking too much and overloading the brain capacity he had left. All those wonderful excuses and buts spun around like a merry-go-round on crack. He felt his insides twisting uncomfortably and then he sneezed.

That was the moment when he noticed the door behind him had closed and he was outside. Without his jacket. That jacket where the keys were. Cloud let out a frustrated sound and tried the door, in vain of course. Now what he would do? All the apartments were too high to knock on the windows and the snow wasn't enough moist to form balls for throwing. He cursed heavily and shivered. Not only was he the most miserable person existing at the moment, he would freeze to death too on top of that! Though, it would put an end to his moping.

He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to discard the cold that was slowly turning him into an icicle and to concentrate on how he was going to figure himself back inside. Not that it was any better there. Warm, if something.

The door clicked once and Cloud jerked his head up to yell that someone to keep it open. The words froze to his lips as he saw Squall standing there, looking as surprised at him. Second click and the door was shut. Cloud had a nagging fear there were no keys inside those pockets…

“Aren't you freezing?” Squall's voice came as a bigger surprise to Cloud, who felt a hot wave rushing thru him. Squall didn’t sound at all mad at him and Cloud could only hope this wasn’t some passing moment of surprise when finding him outside like this.

“Does it look like I'm bathing in sunshine? Of course I am freezing!” He couldn't help it the words came out as a sharp snap.

“Should have taken your jacket with you.” Squalls face twitched a little as if he was again getting irritated.

“Well, I wasn't thinking when I left.” Squall's face had 'Do you ever?' written all over and trying to ignore it as much as he could, Cloud scoffed. “I wasn't planning on staying here very long. The door closed behind me and I have no keys.” Was that a glimpse of amusement he saw?

“You ought to think more before you act.” Squall murmured finally, after a long, incredibly uncomfortable silence. That was probably as close as Squall would ever get of accusing him straight on about yesterday. Cloud shuffled on his feet, staring the snow under his boots.

“I know. I..” The words stuck to his throat again and he swallowed hard. “.. you know.” He grimaced at the effort. “..Sorry. For all that.” There, it was finally out! He had managed to blurt the apology out of his ten times cursed mouth. It was a moment of pure nervousness when he had simply NO idea how Squall was going to react.

There was silence between them again, neither spoke or moved much in a while. Cloud glanced at Squall standing there so tall and graceful. Well, at least he didn't look so pissed off anymore. Squall was measuring the street, like it was the most fascinating thing in the whole world when Cloud sneezed again.

“You really are an idiot. And a naturally stupid blond. Let's get back inside.” But there was no more anger in the Squalls voice and that was more than enough to warm Clouds insides. All the hatred and viciously taunting thoughts vanished with the wind down the street. He was able to breathe again without trouble. Squall was trying his pockets and looking worried.

“Please don't tell me you don't have keys either...” Cloud moaned.

“I'm sure they were inside here!” He glanced at the blond looking most displeased. “I can assure you, there is no other place I would keep my ke..”And then, at the same time it seemed to hit them both. The answer to this.

“Those bastards! Are they trying to kill me!” Cloud spat out as they figured it couldn't really be anyone else than the brainless, motherless, million times cursed gits inside.

“I wouldn't be so surprised.” Squall grunted and wrinkled his nose. “They are so grounded for the next century when I get back inside.” Cloud definitely agreed but was turning so frozen he preferred to use his energy to keep warm and let out only a small noise of agreement. Squall looked at him properly. “Goddamn it. Get in here, stupid.” He opened his jacket for Cloud to press against his torso.

Cloud was too cold to argue with this invitation and dashed forward as he saw a chance of getting his numb limbs somewhat warmer.

It took just about ten minutes for Sora to open the door and have the nerves to laugh manically at their slightly blue appearances. The boy ran off before either of them got to the evident revenge part.

Twins got grounded for the next month and Squall had a bad cough. Cloud, however, survived without any sign of illness, which was a small miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, at this point I have to say; Happy belated New Year! I am so glad I came to ao3 I'm nearly in tears. I shall keep on writing sappy, mopy and smutty shit in the future as well.


	15. Chapter 15

**Squall**

Squall was trying to be really sneaky and quiet when he was opening the front door and gliding softly inside. He had his heavy winter boots already in his hand, since it was really, really late and everyone inside were most likely sound asleep. But of course the door made a loud creaking noise when he pushed it open. He really should fix that at some point. He had been working late and had walked home in the nippy air. He had cursed quite badly when he had realized he had forgotten his cap and gloves somewhere and it was pretty damn freezing wind blowing down the streets.

Walking back home had evidently been pretty unpleasant, which made him seriously happy to finally arrive there and to find a single small light still lit in the corridor where they kept their jackets and shoes. Squall smiled softly since he knew it had been Cloud who left the light on just for him. Not that Squall minded about these things.

The best part of coming home at this hour was probably the feeling of warmth in here. The whole flat was silent, radiated that warm coziness that went straight to his heart and soul, and it smelled like.. Home. And food? Squall sniffed the air and a wider smile spread over his lips. The delicious smell of previously cooked food lingered in the air and made his stomach voice its emptiness with a loud growling rumble.

“If you're hungry, there's chicken and rice in the fridge.” Squall startled as the Clouds whisper suddenly echoed from the darkness of the living room. He knew Cloud had not come to work with him tonight because of the overtime he had to do with his primary job, but had not anticipated him to be still awake at this hour.

“Why are you awake?” Squall tried to keep his voice quiet, not really wanting to wake the twins up. That would ruin the whole serenity of this moment. “It's almost 5am.”

“Couldn't sleep after I came back from calming Sora down.” Cloud lit up his reading light that was set next to the couch he slept. Squall cocked one eyebrow and studied his friends’ appearance. Cloud looked a little sleepy in his loose t-shirt and pants, hair messier than usual. “Roxas was too tired to do it on his own so I stayed there until they both fell asleep again.”

“Nightmares again, huh..” He was worried, as always, when there was something happening to the twins, but the fact that Cloud was sitting there and being calm, assured him the situation already was under control. No one could blame Squall for being a worrywart when it came to Sora and his ability to morph into the girl from The Exorcist…

“Yeah. I think I got some nasty bruises this time too. He sure can kick hard. I think my arms and sides have never had these kinds of bruises. And I've dealt with some serious beating in my short life.” Cloud gave out a half a smile and stood up. “So. Are you hungry? I could use a cup of tea.”

“An offer I simply cannot resist. Lead the way, my fair prince of the night.” Squall bowed theatrically. Cloud snorted at this and stuck his tongue out before padding his way to the kitchen, Squall following him with a content smile over his lips.

 

**After an hour**

“You remember when you said, before Christmas, that you wanted to see the stars?” Squall was leaning to the back of the chair, stomach full and his hands cradling a tea cup. He gazed at Cloud sitting on the other side of the table, leaning his cheek to his hand and looking more tired than before. No wonder.. It was getting close to 6am already. Usually they got up at this hour, not the other way around.

“Yeah.” Cloud sounded a little unsure. “Why?”

“No reason.” Squall shrugged. “I just thought that we could've gone out now. It's a clear night and we're both awake. Unless you're getting too sleepy..” Easy as hell to trigger Cloud to say yes daring him to do something, even if Cloud was ready to go to sleep. Squall smiled to himself.

“You know it's fucking freezing out there.” Cloud moaned. Oh, yeah. He despised of getting cold. An image of Cloud looking like a huge marshmallow just his hands and feet sticking out made Squall want to drop over the table and laugh. Blame the lack of sleep for the image being so funny. Cloud glared at him and his stupid grinning and probably thinking he had finally lost all the remaining marbles or something like that.

“We'll take the car, of course.” Squall managed to refrain from grinning anymore wider and hid behind his tea cup, staring at Cloud over it. He was still looking hesitant. “I promise to warm you up if you get too cold. Just like a prince Charming would do!” Squall smiled. It was meant to be as a joke but somehow the thought was everything but a joke to him. He certainly would warm Cloud up. Gladly, if given the opportunity. 

“Oh. Well, in that case...” Cloud grinned suddenly. “What are we waiting for?” Squall blinked few times, not really believing it had been _this_ easy to convince Cloud to leave the warm house and go out to do basically nothing intelligent. But, Clouds word was his command and anyway Squall did rebel very little against anything Cloud said to him.

 

**On a windswept hill**

**Cloud**

Luckily the wind was nearly non-existing and made the freezing cold a little less agonizing to Cloud. But it was definitely worth it all. His instantly cold fingers and toes, and absolutely frozen nose and all that unpleasant stuff that came with winter made him dislike this time of the year so much. It was the simple fact Cloud had volunteered for this excursion that kept him warmer than usual. And his stubbornness to admit it was mostly because he was feeling less hatred for coldness because he such awesome company.

He stared up into the dark sky and was feeling very, very tiny under the glimmering little stars. It was like he was reaching out there with his soul to join the twinkling and glistening choir. Cloud felt a bit embarrassed about him starting to think poetry at a moment like this, but he really had no other way to describe this wonderful scenery. The course of his thoughts made him snort aloud. Since when had he become this badly a sappy and mushy person? Almost made him sick. Really should take a grip of himself, honestly.

Next to him stood Squall, having his head tilted back and the long brown hair falling over the scarf and to his back. Equally beautiful scene, to Cloud at least. Ok, so he was comparing Squall and the nightly sky which was of course, quite ridiculous. But for him these two things were things to warm his heart.

These kinds of moments in life always made one to yearn for a loving touch and words. It was no different for Cloud who now found himself feeling an ache to hold someone and in return to be held back just as lovingly. Preferably that someone could… should be Squall. He weighted the possibility of getting whacked in the head for even trying to hug his friend. Wise to do? Maybe not. Worth to try? Definitely.

In the end, Cloud remained where he was, simply restoring the image to his memory.

“Your hair's getting long.” Cloud said after mustering his courage to say something. Squall blinked and turned his head to Cloud's direction and looked baffled.

“Really? I haven’t really been paying attention to it.” Squall said and wiped one stray hair off his face with one gloved hand. Cloud stifled his laughter. He reached one hand to touch the brown locks with his already rather numb fingers.

“But I kinda like them longer. Not that you would be any less attractive with shorter hair.” A small pause before Cloud flashed a grin.”Tough I think I'd be a little horrified if you'd be bald.”

“So you think I'm ugly? Gee! Thanks Cloud!” Squall played his being-offended-part well and smiled widely. “Who knows what you'll run into tomorrow morning in the kitchen... Could be a Boogeyman.. or then just me, bald.”

“Oh crap, I'd never get over that. Your head being like a shiny ball. Unless you allow me to drill holes in your head and make it a bowling ball?” Cloud almost bit his tongue as the expression over Squalls face turned into something you could describe best with 'oh REALLY? Is that what you think asshole.'.

“Maybe I can turn your head into a soup bowl. It's large enough and already empty.” Squalls’ snide was almost believable. After few seconds the man burst into laughter. Cloud smiled, stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets and feeling the cold seeping under his coat.

“We should have brought a thermos of tea or hot chocolate with us. It's bloody freezing in here!” Cloud mumbled after a moment of silence into his scarf.

“You're cold? Poor little Spiky already badly frozen? And don't give me that look, I'm allowed to call you whatever the hell I want. Well, come closer.” Squall motioned Cloud to step right next to him. Cloud glared at him suspiciously, not really sure was this offer going cost him a wash in the powdery snow or something else as unpleasant. To his surprise, Squall did do what he said would; wrapped his arm around Cloud's waist and pulled as close as it was possible with their thick winter clothes on.

Never mind the fact that their coat's were so heavy they wouldn't really share any of their body heat, but it was at least in Cloud's mind the thing that made him feel a little more warmer. The sheer happiness of being this close was all that it took to make one depressed swordsman happy. For the moment at least.

“You know… You could've said no when I asked you to get out here.” Squalls quiet voice came somewhere close to Cloud's ear and Cloud buried his nose to his own scarf.

“I know.” Cloud said and remained quiet for a while. It wasn't like he didn't appreciate this view and sky and everything, but he knew for a fact that had he been here alone, it would have never in his dreams been like it was with being here with Squall now. “It's worth the pain of freezing.” He felt Squall tighten his hold of him and taking inhaling deeply. Yeah, this was exactly what made this all so nice and brilliant. Cloud smiled softly into his scarf and leaned more into the embrace just letting his mind empty about everything and to be filled with peace instead.

 

**Squall**

It already had been two days and still Squall had not heard a word from Cloud. Obviously, it was making him nervous and paranoid to the point where he was constantly checking his phone if there was a return call from Cloud or any messages. And when he had tried to call, the operator informed him the number was out of use. Like, what the fuck? Where the hell could Cloud be! He had tried to reach Tifa, but she said she had not been at home for the past week because she was with Elena, visiting Yuffie at the moment.

Squall signed, unable to concentrate on his work. Not that there was much to concentrate on when he was only cleaning the coffeemaker. The bell chimed happily, informing a new customer stepping into the café. Squall sighed again and turned towards the desk trying to force a smile upon his worried face and do his job. The forced smile faded quickly as he saw a familiar redhead to stand on the other side, casually leaning over the desk.

“Hello Reno.” Squall stated monotonously feeling nothing even close of enjoyment at seeing his friend waltzing in.

“Why the long face, yo?” Reno was smiling brightly, like there was nothing that could make him feel down. Never. Ever. How badly it did annoy Squall that someone was able to grin like that when _he_ was not.

“None of your business.” Squall growled low, trying to keep his temper at bay. Maybe Reno would just go and disappear if he ignored his presence.

“Aww, come on Squally, you know if there's anything I can do for you, you just need to say the magic words!” Reno wiggled his eyebrows and smirked in a way that hinted way too much and made the man look like a cat stalking its prey. Squall frowned. “Well, I would offer you the services of my brother but I think that ship has sailed for good, huh.”

“Stop that. I'm not going to do anything with you. Or with Axel.” Squall grimaced as the image of Cloud yelling at him about Axel came back to him. Reno faked a sad face at this. “Fine! I'm just worried about Cloud, that's all. Haven't been able to reach him and Tifa's not home either. And since he had no shifts this weekend at the bar, I really don't know where he could be.” He just blurted out all the thing that kept him occupied at the moment.

“Yeeaah, I heard she went for a little trip with Elena or something.. Wonder what the two are up to, since they kinda always hang out together these days.” Reno tapped the counter with his fingertips. “Anyway! So the earth has swallowed good ol' Spiky?” He wiped the stray hair off his face and tilted his head.

“Seems like it.” Squall sighed, running his hands thru his hair frustrated. “Would've checked the house but can't. It's not like I have keys to get in there.” Cloud had never given him the keys to house and why should’ve he done so? There was nothing for Cloud now that they had moved Cloud in with Squall and the boys. So why had Cloud never come back home? Although the bar was Clouds previous home Squall had his doubts whether Cloud would want to return to 7th Heaven at any time because the place was so gloomy.

“Oh.” Reno grinned. “Why didn't you say so! You know... I just happen to have these little things called keys, to there.” Reno burst into giggles when he saw the confused expression on Squall's face. “Now, what were the magic words again?”

“Give them to me or I'll beat you into a bloody pulp?” Squalls eyes flashed dangerously when the silver key surfaced from Reno’s pockets.

“Something like that.” Reno looked merely amused, knowing full well Squall would never lay a finger on him. “Though next time, sweetie… You could try 'please' instead of threatening to damage my pretty appearance.” He cackled evilly.

 

**Afternoon**

The bar felt rather abandoned and quiet when Squall stood before it on the street. No lights in any window to suggest someone to be inside. On the other hand, it was still day time and artificial lights were not needed. Damn! Squall stood before the doors, seeing the note Tifa had wrote about the bar being closed for a week. Heart racing and his mind buzzing with terrible worry and fear because he wasn't sure what he would do if Cloud was not in here. Squall walked around the house and approached the back door which led to the kitchen. The key made a soft clicking noise and the door opened quietly.

It was eerily silent inside. There was light pouring from the kitchen windows and thru to the doorway leading to the side where the bar was, illuminating the faint gray dust that floated in the air now. Squall walked further inside and peered into the bar. Nothing. There were no dishes in the kitchen sink to reveal the possibility of someone having been, or being there.

“Cloud?” Squall had to whisper as it felt like a crime to call out with a loud voice. He cursed silently. It felt like a haunted house, seeing it empty like this. Oh sweet mother of mercy.. what if he isn't here? What if he _is_ and is dead or something? Ok, now he was getting a little too carried away. Squall shook his head, heading to the stairway that led upstairs. Like anything could kill Cloud for real. Just think about it! The man would have kicked anyone’s ass to the pits of hell and just laughed after. What possibly could tie that man down anywhere?

He reached the doorway to Cloud's room. The door was open and the room dark and quiet. It took a moment for Squall to adjust his eyes to the darkness and see properly. The desk was empty as the old computer had been thrown to trash and the new laptop was permanently staying at their place. There were no clothes laying anywhere, as if Cloud would have ever been able to just drop clothes on the floor, and the bed was untouched…

No. Wait.

Squall stepped inside the room and walked towards the bed. There was someone laying on it. Under the blankets but there definitely was someone. Squalls heart tried to break free from his chest and run over the hills and far away, so badly he feared there either was Cloud, but he was dead or injured OR there was someone else OR there was Cloud _with_ someone else! With one trembling hand Squall reached for the blanket and lifted it.

“Oh.. Cloud.” Squall breathed out. There Cloud was, alone and breathing. Squall sighed deeply, trying to calm his mind and his heart which was nearly killing him. He sat on the edge of the bed. “Cloud? Are you awake?” Cloud wasn't moving but was breathing deeply which only indicated him to be sleeping. Squall took a deep breath and took a better look around the bed area. There were dozens of crumbled tissues and lonely cup that was half empty with some dark liquid in it. Was Cloud sick? He reached again his hand out but this time to try Clouds forehead. Squalls fingers found the damp skin. Oh yeah, definitely sick.

Sighing, Squall got up, closed the door behind him carefully and returned downstairs to the kitchen.

 

**Few hours later**

One phone call and couple of small cooking mistakes later, Squall was walking back to Cloud's room, with a tray in his hands, trying hard not to fall down since that would have made a heck of a noise and definitely would wake the sleeping patient up. There was very little he could do really, he only guessed Cloud was suffering from fever and was sneezing and coughing; these symptoms Squall had heard even into the kitchen, but it was no rocket science to figure that Cloud probably just had a very bad flu.

Squall entered the room after managing to open the door with one hand and set the tray on the floor, next to the bed and moved to the window to open it and let in some cold fresh air, then returning to the sleeping form on the bed.

“Hey sleepyhead.. Time to wake up.” He shook Clouds’ shoulder gently. Cloud groaned, slowly turning to his back. “Wake up, you lovable twit.” Squall smiled when Cloud finally managed to open his eyes, unfocused. He tried to speak but only managed to start coughing hard and reached to fetch a tissue. After few moments of sneezing and more coughing the man was blinking with watery eyes and bright red nose towards Squall who waited patiently.

“Squall..?” Clouds voice was so nasal and crackling it must’ve hurt to speak. He made small cough and shot a disbelieving stare up to Squall. “Why are you here?”

“Well. No one could reach you for two days so I had to break in to see if you're dead.” Squall said and saw how Cloud's eyes widened in horror. “Idiot. Of course I didn't break in here. I got the keys from Reno.”

“Really? Two days? What the hell.. Why didn't you call me?”

“Your phone is shut.” Squall cocked one eyebrow. Just how out of it all had Cloud been these few days? Cloud was now turning from side to side, lifting the blanket and pillows. After a moment of searching he found the phone and sighed.

“The battery has died. Sorry.. I didn't realize no one could reach me.” Cloud sneezed again, leaning heavily against his pillows. “You know, I've been out of it all this time. I just remember locking the doors downstairs and feeling all groggy. I thought I’d take a short nap but… I guess I fell asleep. Woke up the next morning and felt like shit. After that... I don't have many memories. I guess I've been sleeping.” Cloud sighed and tried to breathe thru his nose, which failed miserably and caused him to gasp for air thru his mouth.

“Figured as much. Good thing it's weekend. Your work would have suffered from your sudden absence quite badly. But seriously, you are not healthy yet and I am definitely either going to stay here myself or move you back home where you belong. You should’ve just called me when you felt bad and I would have picked you up.” Cloud stared at Squall behind his half open eyelids breathing slowly, not saying a word. Who knew what the man was thinking at the moment. Squall averted his eyes to the floor.

“You're cute when you're worrying over me.” Cloud's voice might be raspy and very nasal, but Squall could still hear the smile in it. Lifting his eyes back up he found Cloud having closed his eyes completely but the smile was still lingering over his lips. Squall felt his insides tighten as the wave of warmth washed over him. It was a good thing the room was so shadowy.

“Hmph. I brought you some food. You should eat it before you drift back to sleep.” Squall said trying to hide his slight embarrassment. Cloud opened his eyes quickly and he eyed him with obvious disbelief.

“You _cooked_ something? Holy shit.. Am I gonna die because of it?”

“No. But you might if you continue with an attitude like that. The fact that you are sick makes it only easier for me to strangle you..” Squall snarled but turned his vicious tone quickly to a smile and stood up to fetch the still warm bowl of something that looked like a soup. Cloud had risen from his laying position and was now leaning against the wall. Squall had to bite his lip to prevent himself from saying something like 'oh you are so adorable aren't you!' since Cloud was way too huggable like that. His hair was so uncontrollably and furiously pointing to every direction, the blue eyes were tired and the nose was christmas red from sneezing. That crumbled up baby blue shirt did not really help at all. “Here..” Squall managed to mumble, before his eyes would drop out from all the ogling he was doing.

“You sure you're not sick too? You look weird.” Cloud took the bowl and sniffed. “I don't really know why I try to smell this since I can't smell a thing right now.” Smiling lightly and then tasting it. Squall was half waiting of some rude comment about it but it never came. “Seriously, there could be a bowl of shit here and I wouldn't taste it. Stupid flu.” Cloud smiled widely at Squalls disapproving expression.

“As much as I hate you sometimes, I still wouldn't go as low as serving you a bowl of shit.” Squall snorted and sat on the floor before Cloud, leaning his head to the mattress and looked towards the window he had opened, the curtains moving slowly because of the draught. “Should I come here, since you seem to be quite sick? It might be a bad idea to make you get out.” He felt pressure on his head, an awkwardly made caress. What the..? Lifting his head he found Cloud having a spoon sticking out his mouth and one leg sticking out under the blanket. That mentioned leg was obviously the part that had.. eh, caressed his hair. Squall was unable to describe how hilarious the situation was so he just returned to his resting and smiled.

“Dunno. I don't really care where I am. I have a firm intension to sleep a lot more. There is only one thing that makes me worried.” Cloud sighed deeply, tapping his lips with the spoon. “Tomorrow is Monday and I should be working. I’m not in any condition to do pretty much anything and there's just Josh, you know, the other driver we have, to do all the work. What the hell am I going to do?” Squall lifted his head up again.

“Well…” Squall stretched the word thinking at the same time. “I don't have to work tomorrow and I’m quite sure the idiots are home too, so…” A glimpse of hope had appeared into the feverish eyes.

“So if we can help in any way, just give us some guidance and we'll do what can be done. Though that means I have to move you back home.” Squall said but the smile Cloud was giving him right now was enough for Squall to forget about something as trivial as the changing of the resting place.

“You have no idea how grateful I’d be if you guys could help me out that much.” Cloud had to blow his nose and for a moment it looked like he had tears in his eyes but must be just because he was sneezing like mad. Still, Squall felt a little uneasy how being sick could turn even the most ass kicking man into a teary child.

“Mmh.. Well, you're seriously going to be our slave for the next decade or something for this, but hey.. You just love it anyway.” Squall grinned and Cloud tried to kick him in the face for that but Squall easily evaded the half assed kick. “Now now, behave yourself or I'll take my offering back!” Cloud stuck his tongue out at him which of course sent Squall into a fit of stifled laughter.

“You don't have to be so mean! This is entirely your fault anyway.” Cloud sulked leaning more heavily to the wall behind him, having exhausted his remaining strength already.

“What? My fault? Like hell it is.” Squall looked offended and frowned at Cloud.

“Oh yes it is. You're the one who convinced me to get out last week when it was bloody freezing and you know I hate cold...” Cloud was pouting. Nope, it didn't help much. To Squall Cloud looked even cuddlier like that.

“What should have I done then? Kiss and make out with you, so you would have stayed warm enough?” Squall said that without much thought, just spitting out what came up to his mind first.

“Well, would have been nice!” Cloud stated almost angrily. A silence fell upon them after Cloud had closed his mouth with a snap and gone bright red, when he’d realized what had escaped his lips.

“.... what?” Squall blurted utterly confused. The statement took Squall completely by surprise and he was only able to stare at Cloud sitting in front of him. Cloud was already red but was rapidly turning crimson.

“I.. uh. You heard me.” Cloud glared straight at Squall, stubbornly. Squall tried to figure if it was the fever talking or was Cloud actually serious for once and not just joking around, like they did most of the time when it came to this sort of subject.

“Should I...” Squall wasn't really sure what to actually say at the moment and cleared his throat. “You want me to… do something about it?” Not that he was ready _right now_ to do anything; Cloud's flu was something he definitely didn't want to catch. Cloud was staring at him, possibly also at loss with words like he was.

“No…” Cloud managed to mutter. “Not... right now, you know.” For a moment Squall had thought the whole thing had been a joke but as Cloud had continued his sentence it seemed like it really was something Cloud had wanted to get out of his chest. Now this was really weird. Squall remained quiet a while, just trying to figure what went on in the Clouds pretty head.

“I should clean up before we get out of here.” Squall mumbled averting his eyes from Cloud. Avoiding the topic they should have been talking about, Squall got up and started to gather the tissues Cloud had dropped beside the bed. Also, he was quite certain this conversation should absolutely wait for the time when they both were healthy. Cloud was quiet, staring down at the bowl in his hands. “You just finish that and I'll clean, then we're good to go.” Cloud merely nodded. 

 

**Later that week**

**Tifa**

Tifa was rummaging thru some bags where seemed to be Cloud's old clothes when the phone rang. First she didn't even bother to get up and the ringing ended after a long while. Probably someone unimportant.

Why had Cloud left his clothes here anyway? He should've gotten rid of these, since they seemed to be from his teenage times, or further from his past, who knew. Tifa scoffed in the ghostly and silent room, glancing at the empty walls, the bed, the corner where the table used to stand. It had been Clouds room and she was trying to get rid of most of the remaining things there as quick as possible. Had she said anything to Cloud about it? No. Would she? Probably not. She had a feeling Cloud wouldn’t be missing any of these things as he had taken what he needed with him when he had moved in with Squall. 

She hadn't even seen Cloud in a while. Last time she heard from him was thru Squall who had informed him that he had hauled Cloud to their place since he had gotten down with flu. Amazing, truly, that Cloud even was sick. Hell must have frozen or something..

Tifa was vaguely aware of the buzzing and vibrating phone in her pocket and when she finally noticed it, the call ended angrily. Not even bothering to pick it up, she stuffed the old clothes back into the bag and threw it to the corridor.

Her phone started to vibrate again. Wrinkling her nose displeased when she was forced to end her brooding packing and dug the phone out of her pocket.

“Tifa.”

 _“Good grief woman you're harder to reach than old Spikey!! I tried to call you two times before this! What the hell are you doing there even? Having someone over, hmmm?”_ Yuffie's high voice reached Tifa's ear and she smiled to herself.

“That was you? I'm sorry. I'm just cleaning here and I guess I was lost in my thoughts. Anyway, what's up?” Now that she had been interrupted she felt grateful. Brooding had never been her specialty. It was Clouds.

 _“Well, everything is pretty much the same here. I’m getting all exited ‘cuz I’m gonna start at the kindergarten as a permanent employee tomorrow and Marly will be going to secondary school the next autumn –she just won’t shut up about it, so damn excited!- and Barret is just bawling like a little baby because his little baby has started to grow breasts!”_ Tifa heard Yuffies howl of laughter and smiled herself at the idea of Barret getting emotional about his daughter. _“Of course there is the matter of me trying to reach Vinnie because the bastard never lets me know where he is and whatnot, but he aint no match for the mighty Yuffie!”_

“Sounds like everything is normal there then.” She really missed the town where she had lived a short period before moving here.

_“You remember that thing you asked me to do? Well, I did some sniffing around and... I think I found something!”_

“You did? Tell me everything!” Now this was something that washed her gloomy evening feeling away completely.

 _“Weeelll...”_ Yuffie seemed to giggle silently. _“It seems there is a woman from Leon's past.. I mean Squall's. Sorry, old habit. A dark haired pretty thing, even. Hahahaha. It's like Cloud has you as his dark haired pretty thing from his past, you know, funny coincidence!”_

“Yufs... If you don’t start talking sense I'm going to come thru the phone and kick your bony ass..” Tifa groaned. One of Yuffies most annoying traits was to go on rambling about something else than she was supposed to.

_“Now don't rip your panties yet my darling.. I'm just getting to the point! And I dug up something that might involve those two lovable twats...”_


	16. Chapter 16

**Cloud**

It had now been a week after he had been hauled back to the Leonharts’ gentle care. By gentle, Cloud meant of course the twins making his headaches double and Squall fussing over him with his own style which could be translated mostly as rude. In the end Cloud found himself just wanting to sleep the slime out of his system. But now, he was up and healthy, well, almost healthy, and was waiting for Reno to show up at the 7th Heaven where he had escaped for the afternoon.

After the New Years, Cloud had had the nagging feeling of something being on the verge of things either to crumble down like a house of cards, or… the things would actually get somewhere from this point. Whatever the point was. He had no clue what the hell was going on anywhere anymore.

Of course, Cloud was thinking about the situation with Squall. The stuff they had said, accidentally or not. Once said, never again repeated. And that was the problem here. Cloud had blurted out only a week ago that embarrassing thing about wanting Squall to kiss him and Squall had... well, he had been so fucking pissed off when Cloud had went and kissed Reno during the New Year's party at Salvation and Cloud just wanted to forget that ever even happening. Squalls comments about them being so close they could be a couple or something were so weird now that Cloud thought about it. Squall never said how he felt. Cloud was usually having no problems at reading his friends’ mind, but with this? Lost like a ship in the sea. Squall _did_ always bring up some weird topics but when Cloud got flustered and embarrassed and was so obvious the only thing Squall did was just to shut up and move on to talking about something else. Made one easily so confused.

There was also one little evil thought. One that Cloud was harboring somewhere inside him, one so secret he didn’t think about it voluntarily even by himself. Cloud had started to worry his feeling of love, or what he thought was love, was nothing but fear of being left alone. He also feared Squall knew about this but had said nothing so far. Like there was anything Squall didn’t already know about him. Except Clouds feelings, naturally. It was ironic they knew each other so well and yet they knew nothing about how they felt towards each.

It tore Cloud apart to float in this uncertainty. And he wanted to punch Axels face every time the manager dared to show his face, damn him for being so good looking, anywhere where Cloud was. Of course, now that Squall knew Cloud knew about their past relationship, it was easier to see him trying to keep the redhead out of Cloud's way. Squall was right to keep the manager off since it was clear Cloud would've kicked that bony ass into oblivion without much effort. And done it gladly too.

“Yo Spikey!” Reno called emerging from the doors, with a huge smile over his lips, hands deep in his pockets, trying to kick the piled up snow from his shoes before moving further in into the room. “Wassup man, you look troubled. Again. Always. You seriously need to get laid or summin, can't stand to watch this pretty face of yours like that! C'mon dude!” The slim man flopped onto a chair next to Cloud and folded his arms behind his head smiling.

“Ugh.. Yeah, Reno. I'm just peachy. Don't worry.” Cloud forced a smile over his lips, which only made Reno grunt and drop his hands to his lap, sighing deeply and shaking his head so the long red ponytail waved lazily behind him.

“Quite the opposite, aren't you.” Reno said and looked straight at Cloud. Goddamn, was he that transparent these days so anyone could read his mind by just looking at his face? “Go on love, tell your uncle Reno what's bothering ya.” The smile Reno cast on his lips was one to banish all the worry in the world.

“Why is it that when you say things like that it always sounds more perverted than sincere?” Cloud smiled a little. “Want some tea?”

“'cuz I'm too sexy for my car?” Reno wiggled his eyebrows and dodged the flying rag Cloud threw at him before disappearing into the kitchen.

After few minutes and digging around in the kitchen and having settled more cozily to their chairs with steaming cups of tea, Cloud tried to find a way to ask Reno about his brother and Squall. He didn't really find any smooth way to nudge their conversation towards that direction but he was saved from making an awkward question by Reno who, after a moment of silence, started to talk about the subject himself.

“You know, that thing with Axel and Squall..” Reno chewed on his lip, thinking. “I don't remember ever seeing them out together. You know, so it would've looked like they were having something more than just friendship going on.” He chuckled a little. “I was rather stupefied one morning when Squall was sitting in our kitchen. I lived together back then with Axel. Squall just was reading the paper and you know, being all that stoic idiot he usually is. So I was staring at him and wondering what the fuck was going on and then he just blurts 'I'm here because Axel wanted me to stay the night over.' And I was like whatever man…” Reno babbled on and Cloud mused did the man ever stop to breathe while talking.

“Yeah, he can be like that to some people. Especially in the mornings.” Cloud muttered while Reno seemed to breathe in and wrinkle his nose.

“Oh yeah, I noticed! You know the next thing Squall said that morning that he was going out with Ax and if I had a problem with it, he wouldn't really care.” Reno rolled his eyes for the memory. “And basically that was it. I never saw them being together like couples usually are and the next thing I know I had angry Ax in our apartment walking around and thinking out loud various ways to castrate that silent friend of ours. So... it didn't last long back then, between them.” Reno took a sip from his tea. Cloud remained quiet, tapping the table with his fingers.

“After that, it didn't take long for Squall to move out from Twilight Town and it took a year for me to bump into him again. He has never talked about Ax to me and I don't really wanna know either, you know? None of my business and they seem to have made truce of some sorts.” Reno ended his talking and laid his eyes on Cloud. Cloud halted his tapping of the table and looked at Reno.

“So, you think there's nothing between them anymore?” Cloud tried not to sound too desperate for the information. Oh, he wanted to know so much. Obviously he wasn't going to ask that from Squall. Cloud wouldn’t have believed what Squall might say about the matter anyway. Which was pretty stupid as Squall was supposed to be his closest friend. Some things just needed a second view. Thus, asking Reno about them had been his only option.

“Nah, don't think so. They might flirt, or more likely Ax is flirting since the he's the little prick he is, no matter how much he is in a relationship at the moment.” At this, Cloud almost choked while trying to drink his tea.

“Wh.. what? Relationship? With who?” Cloud coughed. Somehow this information _did_ sound familiar. Now where could he have heard... Oh, right. New Years. Squall had spat this piece of information at him when they had been arguing about... that... thing. That unfortunate accident Cloud had managed to cause back then. Gods, he felt so embarrassed about it still.

“You didn't know? Ah well.. I guess he ain't talking about it much. It's some lucky dude from our hometown, I think. Can't remember his name tho.” Reno shrugged. “Anyway, to the main dish!” Reno rubbed his hands together. “I hear Tifa is going to move out from here?” Cloud wrinkled his nose and nodded.

“She's selling this place and going to move somewhere smaller. I can understand her though. This place is pretty scary when there's no one else around.” Cloud sighed and looked more than a little unhappy. “This means I have to find new location for the warehouse and cars and relocate the only staff I still have. Shit.. I can’t handle the all that by myself! Squall will throttle me if he finds out I’m even trying to do it alone.”

“Why would he? C’mon, he aint that horrible, now is he? I'm sure Squall would suggest some reasonable solution for your problems.” Reno said one eyebrow high.

“I know. That's exactly what I'm afraid of.” Cloud looked into Reno's green eyes. “Look, Reno. Here's the thing. I like him. I mean I _really like_ him and I want nothing better than to be with him. But I have no idea _why_ do I want to be with him. I know he would suggest he himself would take more responsibility of the firm but I can’t let him. I don’t even know do I want to be with him because I’m not used to counting my emotional self onto myself. You know, I _can_ be alone but I’ve always had someone to tell me what to feel and how to act.” Cloud sighed. “Not to mention I don't know what the hell Squall is thinking about me! It’s all so confusing at the moment.” Cloud was so upset at the moment and this rare burst of confessed feelings so straight made Reno remain quiet for a long while.

“Well…” Reno finally spoke with caution. “Maybe you should get out of town for a while? Just you by yourself.”

“But would that really solve anything?” Cloud sighed. Not that it was something he'd never done before. He remembered more than once having to face Tifa after he had run away to just 'think things thru'. And never had it been any easier to come back and see the hurt in her eyes, even when she said nothing. And all that leaving to think things had never ever been in any way helpful. Cloud had usually driven around not thinking about anything.

“I dunno. But I think you and Squally spend too much time together and aren't really able to see clearly what it is that you want. You need to have some new perspective so you can create new ways to solve problem.” Reno shrugged. “Also you really need to talk things thru with Tifa and then figure what you want to do with your business problem. You can’t operate alone and you don’t want Squall to help so who would be the one to do so?”

“You know… You have your moments of almost being wise.” Cloud smirked at Reno, who was grinning widely.

“Yeaaahhh.” Reno yawned and stretched his arms above his head. “Just don't go and tell anyone about it, ok? It would ruin my good reputation as a first class dimwit, you know?” He winked and all Cloud could do was to fall into uncontrollable laughter.


	17. Chapter 17

**Squall**

Squall was feeling restless to the point of starting to wreck the whole place into pieces. He paced around the flat and mumbled to himself. Luckily no one was home to witness his moment of insanity. Though it would've made no difference as to how the twins already were thinking about him. No, it was actually Clouds opinion that mattered at all. And the idiot wasn't here to give it to him. And that was the problem and the cause for his restless afternoon.

Cloud had vanished into thin air and had left only a piece of paper after him. Squall took out the crumbled paper out of his pocket and read the few words again.

_“I'm going away for a while. Don't worry about me. I'll be back. -C”_

Like, what the fuck? 'Don't worry about me' was exactly NOT the thing to say to people who were left behind to do the not-worrying. Of course he was going to worry since he didn't have a clue where Cloud was. Not to mention Cloud's cell phone was shut off and neither Reno nor Cid knew anything about the Clouds whereabouts.

Squall yanked his overgrown hair and growled. It just made him frustrated, not knowing where Cloud was and more importantly; who he was with! Ok, so it wasn't like Cloud didn't know how to defend himself or anything, it was just a matter of telling Squall everything the man did! Yes, that's right. He had the divine right to know everything Cloud was doing and who he was doing it with.

Sweet sounds of his mobile reached his ears and he yanked the phone out of his pocket, nearly dropped it, fumbled with the damn thing for a while and finally managed to slap it to his ear.

“Where the _fuck_ have you been, asshole?!” Squall snarled without waiting to hear who was calling.

 _“Nice. I didn't know you missed me that much.”_ Tifa's rather disapproving voice came out of the phone and Squall felt his face turning white.

“Oh shi... I mean, I'm sorry Tifa. I thought you were someone else.” Squall muttered, embarrassed.

 _“Cloud has disappeared again, huh? Well, welcome to the club darling. Now you know how I've felt in the past.”_ Her words reminded Squall about the current situation and he wondered why he hadn’t asked Tifa about Cloud yet. How stupid can you get? Incredibly stupid, it seemed.

“So, you don't happen to know where he is at the moment, would you.” Squall hoped he didn’t sound too desperate. Ok, so maybe he was a little desperate and anxious, but he was entitled to be, definitely. Cloud had been gone now for three days and still there was nothing.

 _“No. And believe me, when he wants to disappear, you won’t find him until he wants you to.”_ Tifa sounded tired, like she'd gone thru this sort of conversation over before. Most likely had, just by herself. _“Anyway, I had something I wanted to talk with you.”_ Didn't sound too promising in Squall's ears but he remained quiet. _“Could you come over to 7 th Heaven so we could talk face to face? I don't want to talk this over on the phone.”_

“Sure. Whatever.” Alarming and disturbing. Squall pondered how he could sneak out of the promise but in the end, what could she tell him that would make his life any more complicated than it already was inside his head? “I'll get there in an hour.”

 

**7 th Heaven**

The bar was full of people when Squall reached it and opened the doors. Tifa was nowhere to be seen, naturally. He sighed, wishing he could be home, worrying over Cloud, no matter how hopeless and useless that was. Pushing his way towards the other end of the room he saw a glimpse of flashing red hair and heard a laughing that could only belong to one man he knew.

“Fancy meeting you here, Reno.” Squall had sneaked behind the smaller man and was giving him anything but a warm greeting. Squall had his suspicions about whether or not did Reno have something to do with Clouds disappearance. Reno twitched and turned his head to face him.

“Good grief dude, don't gimme willies like that! Nearly pissed my pants.” Reno smiled widely, like nothing in the world could bother him. Nothing new there, Reno always looked like he was missing one or two brain cells less than an average person did.

“My bad.” Squall shrugged not really meaning it. He had meant to scare the living shit out of Reno. “No word from Cloud?” He raised one eyebrow staring down at the cat like face, taking in all the subtle movements that might occur when Cloud was mentioned.

“Uh, no. Haven't heard from Spiky since the last time I saw him.” Reno blinked then turning his attention back to his beer and shrugged too. “U know he'd call you first, not me.” Squall was damn sure Reno had turned his head off because he didn’t want to give away his thoughts. He wanted to throttle the thin man so bad right now.

“I sure hope so. You do know that I'd kick your ass so bad if I find out you were keeping information from me about this, or any other matter.” He smiled viciously, knowing Reno didn't see it, but probably knew well enough Squall was trying to drill a hole in the back of his head.

“Threatening your friends again, are you Squall? What a lovely gesture of trust.” Tifa's voice interrupted Squalls little fun.

“I'm not threatening anyone. Just stating the mere facts.”

“Uhhuh, yeah. I'm sure.” Tifa cocked her eyebrow to the man and turned then to ruffle Reno's already messy hair. “You don't mind if I take this big bully out your hair?” She was probably the only person, right after Cloud, who was never intimidated by his snarling or sarcastic threats.

“He's all yours!” Reno grinned, looking suspiciously relieved and waved happily after them as the girl was pulling Squall with her towards the more private area of the house. They walked upstairs and reached a room which seemed to be some sort of study or a place to do paper works. Or had used to be. The table was empty of things, the shelves empty, the walls bare and the window had no curtains. He didn't say anything, just noted the pile of boxes close to the door, all taped and ready to be moved out.

“I just told Cloud a little while ago, that I have sold the place and am moving out of here. And that the garage will be sold to the new owner too so the firm needs to be moved out too. And that I’m going to have nothing to do with that.” Tifa had sat on the table and had crossed her arms before her. “These things I told him about a week ago when we accidentally met here while I was packing.” She looked sad and uncomfortable. “I shouldn't have pushed the responsibility on him like that. It probably upset him even more.” She looked up at Squall who remained quiet. “And I didn't know he had disappeared on you before you snapped at me on the phone.”

“Right..” Squall had very little to add to this actually. What could he say? That these news came as shock to him and made Squall even more upset and that he wanted to say something really bad because she had made a mistake and was the reason why Cloud had most likely went missing in the first place? No, it was better he remained quiet. Tifa was looking at him, probably trying to figure his thoughts.

“Squall.. Do you have any siblings?” She asked quietly looking straight at him. The question took him off balance and his guard lowered and he blinked at the girl, obviously confused.

“What? No.” Squall hadn’t really told anyone about his family. Nothing to share when your only sibling had died when he had been very young and his father was a total ass. So basically he grew up defending himself and learning early to not trust just anyone. He was suspicious now. Why had Tifa asked him such a question and so simply out of blue?

“I've gotten the idea that your father was.. is, not a very pleasant man?”

“Why, have you had the pleasure of meeting him?” Squall sneered. 

“No, but I've heard some stories.”

“Stories lie. They could never capture the true form of idiocy of a human being my father claims to be.” He didn't particularly want to think about the one person he was persistent to keep out of mind and life. “Why do you bring this stuff up?”

“I've found your sister.” There was silence between them for a long time. He didn't really think, not really. The words just pounded the insides of his skull, not knowing whether or not to feel a thing. He had not told anyone about his sister, ever! How could she know about her? But in the end, it wouldn’t matter. She was dead. Had been a long time now. Squall narrowed his eyes and weighed his options. Maybe Tifa was trying to get something out of him by making him believe some cock and bull story about his sister being alive still.

“Is this some kind of a joke?” He shot a sharp glance at Tifa, but the girl shook her head slowly. “Because I’m not laughing.”

“No, not a joke.” She stood up and walked right before Squall, took his hands and squeezed them tight. “Your sister is very much alive and wants to meet you.” He was.. to put it simply, not very coherent at the moment. So very.. stupefied. Just what had she blurted out?

“Wha.. What the hell? How's that even possible? The old git told me she died and to this day there has been no other reason to believe other. There are _police records_ to prove it Tifa! So why now and exactly _how_ did you find this.. _person_?”

“A friend of mine came across someone who knew someone who knew someone.. etc..” Tifa wasn't telling the whole truth, he could see that clearly but didn't really even want to.

“I..” Squall was at loss here. His mind was swimming with sudden, all very vague, but still real, memories of the dark haired girl that had made the life with their father bearable. But she had been gone so long he didn’t even know what he should feel if what Tifa said was true.

“Squall..? Are you ok?”

“It's not possible. She's.. dead.” Squall whispered with suddenly dry lips.


	18. Chapter 18

**Squall**

_Snow was piling to the driveway. The street was empty. Cold. Only the artificial lights colored the white ground with pale yellow. The police car had driven off and left marks on the pavement. They too, were vanishing fast under the falling snow._

_“Squall. Get up here.” The tone promised nothing good and the little boy stood up, unwillingly leaving his window post._

_“Yes, father?” He didn't look up to his father, nor did he expect the man to tell him anything nice. He never did. Squall just wished to be sent away as soon as possible._

_“Your sister is dead.” Laguna's voice was empty of feeling as it usually was whenever he had to talk about something else than himself. “Took off with some punk and got herself into trouble.” Squall stood there, motionless and eyes blank. He couldn't digest the words. Not his sister. Dead? That was.. it was not true!”_

_“Lies! You're lying, you old git!” Squall had lost his temper because he was afraid and angry. And before he could feel sorrow, he had to be really.. really angry. Laguna turned his marble face towards his son and sneered._

_“Wash your mouth, boy! You saw the nice policeman leave the house just now and your good for nothing sister has been off having some real fun with some punks in the dark alleyways! That little bitch got what she deserved.” Squall was trembling with anger, tears trickling down his cheeks. “What! Are you crying now?” The man laughed coldly. “What a wimp you are. Should've dressed you into a dress after all!”_

_Few moments later the door of the Leonharts’ residence banged shut again. Little footprints led down the driveway and down the street. Snow filled the marks quickly and the blizzard swallowed the angry form of a child._

 

**The present time**

Squall lay on his back in his room, staring at the ceiling. He had ran away from home because his father had been an idiot and egoistic shit. He had ran because he wanted to find Ellone. He had ran because... he had been scared.

After he had found out the news about Ellone were true, like his father told him, Squall had shut himself completely. It was his choice to live without emotional attachments. It was easier to be left alone. Saved him so much heartaches and trouble.

But then the twins happened to him and his whole life had been turned around. He wasn’t even sure anymore how it all had been arranged. The twins had clung onto him like people who were drowning. Maybe it was because he had been so young and yet so independent and was able to live without having to rely on other people like young people usually did. Maybe because he didn’t give a fuck about everyone else and… Squall wiped a tear from the corner of his eye before it trailed down his cheek. He had lost his heart about the minute he had found the boys and taken them in to make sure they had at least one night of warmth.

But then he had learned how the two had been living on the streets for few years now and he had exploded. Squall remembered vividly how he had been on the phone yelling at someone at the Child Welfare Bureau about how the hell there could be two children out on the streets without even shoes on. He had called to the only person whom he had trusted at the time and pretty much spent one night going thru papers and laws on how it would be best to sue _someone_ for this injustice.

It had been the scared looking little boys that eventually cut the edge of his fury off. Squall swallowed hard when he remembered the hurt and pain in the big blue eyes that had been staring at him. _“Please, don’t yell anymore. You’ll make Sora and me scared. We’ll be fine so we’ll just go now.”_ Well, that had put a stop to his raging. Squall had breathed deeply and leveled himself at the twins’ level before telling them they wouldn’t have to go anywhere anymore because he would take care of them from now on.

And he had. The social workers had come to reason with him but he had simply thrown them out unceremoniously. It was lucky for him that no one really cared enough to take the boys from him because they would’ve only been in the cycle of foster homes again. Apparently the twins had a record of running away and being a major pain in the governments’ ass. Squall had received papers in the mail to be named as the boys’ temporary guardian until they got of age.

Life had gone on with more responsibility and daily struggles. More than once Squall had wished he still had a sister or a mother to tell him how little children worked. But they had managed somehow. Sora and Roxas had grown up quickly to understand their childhood was gone with the wind even if they now had a permanent home. But they had never complained or ran away. That still amazed him.

Then came Cloud... Squall grit his teeth and grimaced. He didn't want to think about Cloud right now. The whole matter made him angrier than anything. Well, it had until Tifa had broken down the news to him.

Ellone was alive.

He couldn't believe it. It was so surreal, something out of this world. He had to pinch himself to be sure he wasn't dreaming. Tifa had not said much, just had explained she had had her suspicions about something and Ellone had been found in the midst of her snooping around and somehow Yuffie was involved in this too. Squall made a half smile.

Yuffie had been, and still was, a pain in his ass whenever he encountered the energetic girl. He hated and loved her, all at the same time and it most definitely did not come as big surprise to him to find her up to her pointy nose buried in this matter.

His mind drifted back to Tifa's words.

_“She wanted you to call her as soon as possible. If you can find it in your heart to forgive her for being absent from your life for so long she would be most eager to meet up with you.”_

How could she believe he hated her! It wasn't her fault, was it? It had been Laguna, lying to him about her so called death, right? Though.. In the back of Squall's mind, a little green monster nagged to him that there had to be something fishy about _her_ because she could have found him easily. Well, perhaps not easily as he had severed all his connections to his father and tried to stay away from his hometown ever since, but it was possible, like Tifa's snooping proofed, to find someone.

Now he had a phone number and he couldn't make himself to pick up the phone and dial the numbers. Every time he even thought of it his heart began to race and it was hard to breath. So, he put it off for the moment and lay on his bed, trying to empty his mind with the help of good old Jack Daniels.

His head was buzzing after an hour and Squall fell asleep, never noticing his phone vibrating next to him with an unknown caller.


	19. Chapter 19

**Cloud**

It was pointless, he knew it. To try to flee from things. Hadn't he done that enough already? Probably, but it never stopped him from repeating his mistakes over and over again. Not that he was much of a mess anymore. He had had his time to think, to spend some time apart from Squall and had come to realize certain things to be very much true.

First, he was in love with that dimwitted ass. Enough for one to go slightly mad. It wasn't the easiest thing to do in the world, you know. To love that kind of a person. But then again, maybe he just thought it would be difficult. Because in the end, Squall was quite a simple person who liked simple things. He just had a personality that would make even the most kindhearted person to avoid him sooner or later. So it was mainly about endurance in that area.

Cloud snorted, amused by his thoughts and fiddled with the chess pieces that lay over the messy table. They weren't his and he didn't even bother to try to clean up the mess. Maybe it had something to do with this silence in this apartment. His companion was so silent it spoke in many different volumes with just one look. That was the second thing he had come to realize.

He actually missed Squall's presence. It pained him to be away from someone who knew him so well and responded to his saying and actions perfectly and... Well, was so damn compatible. All the bickering and pouting and whacking and kicking were just a way for them to express themselves. There was no way Cloud would get all syrupy and girly just because he was in love with someone. Well, that was what he thought, at least. But guys did love too, not in the form of fluffy pink bunnies perhaps but in somewhat soft and rough combined way. Or something.

“You could just say it to him.” The soft voice startled Cloud and he blinked towards the source of the sound. “From what I hear, it seems he is not a type to get mad about logical things. Rather the opposite. And from what you've told, you have been most illogical at times and thus, earned all the anger from him.” The burst of words nearly took Cloud breathless. It wasn't often that Vincent would speak so much.

“You're the one to talk..” Cloud murmured and looked at the chess piece. It was the queen. How convenient. Reminded him about himself at times. Being a drama queen over everything and thinking way too much unable to keep things under control. Things just kept.. _happening_! Or rather, part of things just happened inside his head but the reality had taken a huge part of his sanity this time. It had been time consuming to figure out the ruthless real world but he had managed to get a good start whilst being absent from Midgar.

“I have nothing to hide from anyone.” Vincent wrinkled his straight nose and turned back to his book he was reading. “If the other end is not willing to listen, then what can I do?”

“Mm..” Cloud placed the queen next to the king and watched them for a while silent. “I'm more of a chicken than a man, aren't I.” It wasn't really a question; he knew the answer without anyone telling it to him.

“Yes. If you mean by chicken that you ran away from situation that had come more complex than you had wanted it and by shutting your phone off and by not telling anyone about your whereabouts.” Vince didn’t even bother to look up from his book at this point. Cloud murmured silently something like 'I told Reno..' but Vincent continued without noticing him. “Then you most definitely are a chicken, though I would use simply the word coward, in your case.” Cloud was slightly red now, feeling glum and embarrassed. “But, I believe there is still hope, no matter how much of an idiot you have already made of yourself.”

Cloud returned to his depressed thoughts. There was also the third matter pressing him. He really didn't want to think about it that much, since it scared him. Not the situation itself but the mere idea of _him_ just acting _on his own_. He was without a real home to return to. There, that was the truth. Cloud sighed and poked the marble queen on the table, watching it as if it could tell him what to do next.

“It was really stupid to just leave, I suppose.” Cloud slumped back into the safety of the armchair. Vincent merely raised one eyebrow and remained quiet. “Oh fuck, what a mess I managed to cook. I'm a walking catastrophe!”

 

**A day later**

Tifa had reached him first and had given him an earful of all the things Cloud knew he deserved and had silently accepted his fate. It was evident Tifa was mad, but she wasn't the one he had left behind and not the one whose reaction Cloud feared more than meeting a ferocious monster in a dark alley without a sword.

He had not yet had the courage to call Squall that he was going to get back. He stared at the phone most of the time and held his finger on the button that would end the suffering and let his destiny be fulfilled as a punching bag or end up locked into the iron maiden.

He had after a long and painful consideration come to a conclusion he should just get back to work and find a place for himself. He was a big boy anyway, he could look after himself! Tifa was going to move on in her life, that's what she said and somehow Cloud got the feeling she was including Elena into her new beginning.. The thought made Cloud uneasy a little. No way… Tifa liked guys, right? He tried to push the thought off his mind and continued with some other subject, still a little unsure how to feel about it.

The situation with Squall. Well, it wasn't going to go anywhere so it was best for everyone he would just stop hanging around at the Leonhart residence, give out the keys and move his small amount things out. They could still be friends, right? He would not let his termination waver when he would have to explain all this to Squall. Cloud almost saw that perfectly formed face of Squall frowning at his words and the brunet of course would argue how Cloud would always be welcomed there, at their home. But that was the point, couldn't Squall see that? It was always _their_ home, never _his_ too. So it made perfect sense to get out as long as he still could before making even a bigger fool of himself. He should learn to be more independent, that was all.

The dreaded phone call still waited him. His newly formed independence was kicking him in the head and laughing. Cloud groaned.

In the end, it was pointless to prolong this and he pressed the button. After that, he was holding his breath and waiting the hell to break loose.

_“Squall.”_

“Uh.. It's Cloud. I.. am sorry for not calling earlier and know that you must hate me more than anything at the moment and please don't hang up but let me explain.” Cloud hurried forward without letting Squall a chance to say anything. What he was going to say, he had no idea. Squall remained quiet at the other end. “Well, I assume you are actually listening and haven't thrown the phone off to let me just talk infinitely and m..”

_“Just cut the crap and get to the point.”_ Squall's bored voice carried to Clouds ears and he gulped.

“Right. Yeah. To the point.” Brains, work! Now would be perfect time to come up with the most awesome story ever! “I've been really confused you know. I dunno. Everything just was getting into a brilliant mess in my head and I kinda just did what I'm used to do. Ran.” He paused for a moment, gathering his breath. “I'm not good at dealing with face to face problems when I have to talk, you know. I had to.. figure things out before getting back.”

_“What things?”_

“Just.. things.” Cloud tried with any means possible leave it untold what was the main reason he had fled. “Tifa has basically been shutting herself out my life and the business and I sort of panicked about it. And all the stuff with work too. I guess I was.. you know..”

_“Scared.”_ Squall finished Cloud's sentence and left the blond silent for a long moment.

“Yeah. Scared.” Cloud leaned his head to the back of the armchair. “I'm sorry, Squall. I should've talked with you. You could've told me what an idiot I was being when worrying about something like that.”

_“That you could have done, indeed. But you didn't. You chose to be a selfish little shit and run off without telling anyone anything.”_ Squall seemed to breathe deeply. _“I've had my own problems to deal with. I really did not need you to act the little spoiled princess you sometimes are. Maybe it was good for you to get away to understand to get your head out of your ass.”_

“I'm sorry..”

_“Just... Get back, will you? I don't want to think about this anymore now that I know you're ok.”_

“I'll be there before sunset.” After that Squall ended the call and Cloud returned at staring at the piece of plastic in his hand. So he was going to live, after all. Squall would most like torment him verbally for a while, but he could endure that. He could even endure physical pain at this point just to be back there.

What had happened back there anyway if Squall was having problems? He'd better get on the road immediately.

**Early evening**

Cloud reached the town before nightfall easily. He had driven too fast out of sheer worry, and was knocking on the door of the most familiar door now. He heard no noises from inside and wondered if there was anyone home at all. But surely Squall would be there. After all he had heard Cloud saying he was going to be there today.

He checked his watch. He was few hours earlier he had planned. Maybe that's why there was no one in. Too bad he had no keys with him as he had left in such a hurry last time.

Cloud sat on the stairs and ruffled his spiked hair. Vincent had said something before he had driven off. _Just be true to yourself and it will go fine._ Easy for Vince to say something like that. The man lived alone and had nothing but time to himself and his odd habits. No one there to watch his every move and hear every word he said. Of course Squall was nowhere near of being a nosy bastard, that particular job had fallen to Sora.. And Squall never really tried to change anything in Cloud. If he did, he said it straight to his face when there was something Cloud did wrong.

Cloud felt restless just sitting here and waiting for someone to come home. Cloud walked out and went back to his bike and mounted it. He should just go a drive somewhere before he would come back and handle this whole situation with Squall once and for all. He was determined to tell Squall exactly how he felt now, even with the risk of Squall wanting nothing to do with him after the confession.

Cloud decided to go to visit the church. He had neglected the place for way too long and his consciousness was nagging at him about it. Maybe he should get some flowers with him too.

His mind on this he ignited the engine and drove off into the sunlit city.

 

**Ruins**

The church was as ruined as it had been the last time Cloud had been in there with Squall on their evening of many interesting things. Cloud smiled sadly as he walked into the ruined building and knelt before the half frozen buddle of water in the middle of the floor. There was snow still even inside the building, it had been warm lately and the snow had quickly melted away, leaving only scattered mounts in shadowy corners and frozen puddles here and there.

“Hi Aer…” Cloud whispered and took the flowers he had bought from the paper wrappings and started to place them on the water one by one. “I brought you some lilies today. I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you in a while.” Cloud bit his lip and sighed. It wasn’t like he really believed Aerith to be anywhere to hear his mutterings but it made him feel infinitely better to voice his worries like this. The sorrow in his heart feeling a little less heavy.

“You know I met someone. You would’ve liked him too, I know it. He’s a stubborn idiot, just like me but he has a good heart and he’s a good man in every possible way.” Cloud smile to the lily he held gently in his fingers. He brought it to his nose and inhaled deeply. “I have fallen in love with him. I don’t think this would surprise you at all… I guess you knew I’d be better off with some guy than with girls.” Cloud managed a small laugh before placing the lily next to its kinds on the water.

“I don’t know if he likes me the way I like him, but I’m hoping he does. I have no idea what two guys do together but I’m sure I wouldn’t mind learning it all with him. He makes my chest swell with happiness on good days and my gut to twist unpleasantly out of fear when there is something wrong. I guess that’s normal. I wouldn’t really know because my life has been a brilliant mess of people and events that have made me scared of relationships.”

Cloud sat on the cold floor for a while in silence, just the occasional breath of wind making the lonely dead leaves rustle in the corners. He inhaled and exhaled many times his eyes closed, clearing his mind of all the excess feelings and thoughts even for few seconds. He was usually rather bad at meditating but in here he felt like he could do it.

“I should go then I suppose.” Cloud glanced at his watch and got up from the floor massaging his backside gingerly. It had gotten slightly numb from sitting in one place for too long. He looked at the room, taking in the wreckage he knew by heart. He looked up thru the roof that wasn’t there and saw nothing but sky with dark clouds and felt few drops of rain on his face. Cloud looked down into the pool of lilies and sighed. He placed his fingers to his lips and then blew one air kiss at the flowers. That was his goodbye and he knew he wouldn’t come here again in a long time. If ever.

It was time to move on and carry the memories inside his heart.

Cloud jogged back to his bike as the rain had started to pour down heavily now. For once he was happy about his helmet. He glanced just once more at the church, smiled and drove off.

Cloud drove down the streets in deep thoughts, feeling almost calm. He didn’t notice the rain getting heavier. He didn’t notice the screeching sounds ahead him. He only saw a flash of bright light and then everything went black.


	20. Chapter 20

**Squall**

The past week had been nerve wrecking. Squall pressed his forehead to the cool tiled wall in the shower and let the noise of the falling water fill his ears, numbing all other thoughts away.

The twins had found out he had found a missing sibling and had made it their business to be nosy and over protective and worst of all; jealous. He had never knew how attached the boys seemed to be to him. Of course, he cared for them very much and they were a part of his life until he was old and shriveled. But still.. To be so important to someone. It was getting from being annoying to plain scary.

Squall had met up with Ellone finally, a few days ago. It had been awkward and he had been silent most of the time while she had been talking softly about everything that had happened since she had vanished.

Ellone had a husband and twin girls, about six years old. She lived not that far from Squall and wanted to keep in touch with her little brother now closely.

Little brother..

The sound of those words was strange to him and Squall sighed deeply. He had no guarantee he would ever feel comfortable about that again. It just didn't sound right. But it did to her. And he let her call him whatever she wanted, if that made her happy. Because, even if he tried to deny it he certainly had felt some level of happiness and joy when the tall dark haired woman had risen from her chair at the cafe they had planned to meet, and had hugged him so tight Squall nearly had no breath left to him. Even after twenty something years she still smelled the same as he remembered her to smell when she had been the only source of comfort in his childhood. Squall couldn’t deny the familiar happy throb when those memories surfaced.

Ellone had promised to bring her girls with her next time so Sora and Roxas could meet them too. She had been surprised to learn how Squall had took the boys in when he himself had been so young and had taken care of the whole family up until the boys were now old enough to move on their own.

And now Cloud was late. Squall was determined to kick his ass royally when the idiot would show up after being in hiding over a week. What a fucking nightmare! Squall was ready to rip some hair of off his head when he had to think about confronting Cloud after this fiasco of a week. He was angry, disappointed, hurt and confused at what he should even say to Cloud when he would arrive. Of course he had missed him and been worried but… he was most of all just disappointed. Why hadn’t Cloud confided in him if he was so confused with all the business matters and who knew what else!

Someone banged on the door, disturbing his brief moment of solitude.

”Squall! You'd better come out fast!” It was Sora. He sounded more panicked than ever. ”There's someone calling from the hospital!” Squall turned the shower down immediately, fumbled for a towel and unlocked the door. Sora was holding the phone before him and Squall snatched it from him.

As the person on the other end reached the end of her speech Squall had turned white. He ended the call and stared the now dark screen blankly.

“Well? Who's hurt? Why did they call you? It's not.. Roxas, is it?” There was a hint of panic in Sora's voice and he tried to read Squalls face.

“No.” His voice was calm and without emotion. It felt like his insides had turned ice so suddenly. “It's..” The swallowed. It was so unreal. “It's Cloud. There's been an accident. He's in surgery right now and..” His voice shook as the news slowly sunk into his consciousness. Sora seemed speechless. “I should get to the hospital. Cloud has made me his emergency person and I have to decide what to do..” It had been a shock to hear that at a moment like this. Squall had had no idea Cloud had done something like that.

“Well..” Sora seemed to gather himself up a little, with a great effort. “Get dressed then and we’ll leave right now. I'll call Rox and tell him to get to the hospital and meet us there. Okay? Good. Go!” Sora pushed Squall towards his room and then ran up to get his phone.

“Right. Yes. Clothes.” Squall was so stupefied he barely knew which way to turn but he managed to dress himself up and get out of the flat finally.

 

**The hospital**

About half an hour later he and Sora were standing in a white corridor, with white chairs and white floor. The clean surfaces almost mirrored Squalls face as he tried to organize his stumbling thoughts. Sora was quiet and sat on one of the irritatingly white chairs and hung his head down. So very unlike of him. But the situation was more than unusual anyway.

There had been a police. And a doctor. And another doctor. Things were so confused still inside Squalls head he had no other choice but to walk back and forth the corridor. There was a huge lump in his throat that prevented him from talking. He was almost in tears but had so far managed to keep them from falling. He had to be tough now. For the twins and for Cloud.. Cloud who was probably lying white as a sheet somewhere in the bowls of this hospital blood spattered all over his face and surrounded by doctors who were fighting to keep him alive.

The police had told him Cloud had crashed with a car that had driven on the other lane; the driver had lost the control of his car for god knows what reason and had slid to meet the passing bike. The driver of the car was being treated in another room, somewhere in this damned white place. And Cloud’s beloved bike, the police told Squall, was a complete wreck. That would not be the first news to tell the blond when he woke up. If he woke up.. Squall shook his head to banish such devilish thoughts.

The first doctor had just led them here and said someone else would come soon to explain more. Squall had nearly stretched his arms to strangle the poor man for not giving him any other information. Sora had managed to hold him still by simply stepping between him and the fleeing doctor.

The second doctor had obviously been informed of Squalls hostility as he lurked out from the nonexistent shadows towards Squall and Sora with a guard following him behind. Squall tried to restrain himself with all his might but needed in the end very little effort of doing so as the frightened doctor explained that Cloud was in surgery now and was being treated the best they could. Though, it was not yet sure if the young man would survive the surgery, the doctor had said. There was a part that had broken off from the body of the bike and pierced Cloud's side. They were trying patch him up and didn't yet know if any of Cloud’s vital organs been damaged as well. There was the chance of internal bleeding, which would, according to the doctor, be almost surely fatal.

Squall dropped down to one of the chairs, hating it as it seemed to mock him and his grim mood with its innocent whiteness. Why the hell had hospitals to be white anyway? It was utterly annoying and hurt his eyes as the pale artificial light glistened everywhere he looked. He sighed and rubbed his temples.

“I brought you coffee.” Roxas had appeared next to him and handed over a paper cup. He took it, but didn't drink it. Roxas sat next to his twin and looked at Squall. “He'll survive. They're doing everything they can to save him.”

“Yeah..” Squall choked. “But what if it's not enough? What if Cloud... dies?”

“Don't say that!” Sora jerked his head up and hissed. “Cloud will be just fine. They'll just fix him. Simple as that. HE WONT DIE.” There was something childish in the way Sora spoke. That hint of the boy being a little naive for his age. Or maybe it was just denial, not wanting to accept the possibility of Cloud dying. Just like that. Like someone would blow a candle off. Death, it seemed, made people too aware of their own fragile forms.

“Sora.. You know it's a possibility we have to accept.” Roxas reached out to stroke his brothers’ hair but the other jerked away and stood up, looking even more upset.

“NO!” Tears poured down his pale cheeks now. “Cloud is the best thing that has happened to our family and I won’t let him die! I WON’T!” He fell on the floor on his knees and started howling, his whole body shaking. Roxas swallowed, looking strained and frightened as well, but descended to the floor too, wrapping his arm around Sora and hugging him close.

Squall felt like he should say something. Something comforting. Anything. But nothing came out. He was paralyzed to the spot and all he could think was that Cloud might die and he, Squall, was a gigantic idiot for not ever gathering up the courage to tell Cloud he was in love with him. It would be too late now, if the worst would happen. Why was it that he never had said anything? It all was so clear now, somehow. All the subtle signs. All the stolen glances. All the brief moments of happiness..

No more. He would hide no more. If Cloud would survive this he would confront the man and lay his emotions bare before him and wish for the best. Life was too damn short to be wasted being afraid of rejection.

He sighed again and cleared his throat.

“It'll be alright. He's a strong man. Something like this is not going to kill him. You'll see.” The words were said more to convince himself than the twins. “Dry your tears. It won't do any good anyway. We need to be here when Cloud will come around. And we need to be strong. For him. Understood?” Squall looked at the boys, huddled on the floor, so very fragile and scared like they still were those two frightened children that had appeared into his life so many years ago, eyes big and blue and full of innocence the cruel world never really had taken from them.

“Yes..” The weakest whisper rose from Sora's lips and he looked up at Squall. A moment of silence before the twins got up and Sora dried his tears and apparently gritting his teeth, trying to look stern. “I won't cry anymore.”

 

**Some hours later**

Squall had talked to Tifa on the phone. It had been one of the hardest things to tell to someone you knew to be absolutely devastated to get information like this. As she had been. Her tone had died away and after few silent heartbeats Squall had heard a gasping breath and then the line had been cut off. He didn’t call her again knowing she was crying somewhere her heart out. He couldn’t cry in front of anyone, not even by himself. But his heart was empty of anything else other than the pain and feeling of complete, absolute loss of the person he needed in his life.

He wasn’t ready to give Cloud away yet. How wrong the fate was to take something so good and precious away so cruelly. Snatched from their caring arms into never ending darkness.

They had been waiting for hours and no one had any news to tell them. Squall had tried to talk the twins to go home to sleep but they had point blank refused. They had threatened to start kicking and screaming on the floor like they were five if Squall tried to force them away. He didn’t mind them being there, he was just worried of their well being and he didn’t think he could take any more worry at this point. 

In the end Squall found himself staring at the white walls and trying to stay awake.

 

**The early hours of the morning**

“Mr. Leonhart?” A gentle hand shook his shoulder gently. “Sir? The surgery is over. Your friend is going to survive. He is being transported to the recovery room now.” The doctor left Squall, still groggy from falling asleep on the uncomfortable chair.

Cloud would live. He was going to be ok. A wave of relief washed over Squall and he closed his eyes again. He was able breath finally.

And then he cried. For the first time in years Squall shed tears of relief into his hands now covering his face.

 

**Days later**

The room was small and had the curtains closed, making everything slightly gray. One small table, an armchair, couple of machines beeping and doing stuff he really understood nothing about. Sun was high in the sky but the room remained in shadows, the air cool and quiet. Only the steady breathing of the occupant broke the eerie atmosphere.

Squall reached the bed where lay the motionless body of Cloud. He let his eyes sweep over the sheet covered body before he settled to look at the face.

Cloud had bruises all over, there were stitches on the chin and half of the pale face was a nasty shade of purple and one eye was swollen shut. Not a very pretty sight, but for Squall none of those superficial things mattered at the moment. He laid his hand carefully over Cloud's chest. It rose steadily up and down, proving him Cloud was alive and the machine next to the bed wasn't lying about the heartbeats. Squall could feel those beats too, under his palm.

Squall moved the armchair next to the bed and sat there, holding Cloud's hand gently on his own, stroking the cool skin lightly with his fingertips. He kept looking at Cloud, unable to move his eyes away, like he was afraid the other would disappear if he moved his gaze to somewhere else, even for a split of a second.

He kept feeling a mixture of happiness and worry. He was happy there was no direct danger at the moment but he was worried what would happen if something had gone wrong anyway. Squall chewed his lip and pushed his uneasiness further to his head. There was no point of being miserable beforehand. Cloud was definitely beaten up badly and would have an ugly scar on his left side for the rest of his life but all the little scars and bruises.. Those would eventually heal. He had never been more grateful of the helmet Cloud had worn. The doctor had said it had prevented more damage from happening and it was almost guaranteed Cloud had no head injury that would have caused his memory to be gone, but to be on the safe side it would be better if Squall would stay with Cloud, so there would be someone familiar for him to see when he eventually would be conscious again.

Cloud looked so infinitely frail and young while laying there. It reminded Squall of the first night they had met up purposely and had gone to visit the old church in the ruined part of the city and the comforting warmth of their first proper kiss. It was amazing how they had managed to kiss back then and after that revert back to building a strong friendship. Now that he thought of it, maybe they had just danced around each other not knowing where to go or what to do next, waiting for the other one to take the first step. Squall was determined to tell Cloud how he felt, now that it was crystal clear to him.

He would climb mountains and fetch the moon if Cloud would want that.

What Cloud really wanted.. That was one thing bothering Squall. Squall had perhaps been able to figure out his own feelings but would Cloud be as easy to make see the truth? Squall was almost sure there were some lingering feelings from the blond towards him, but he could be mistaken just as easily. He would just have to be very, very patient.

Squall sighed and dared to close his eyes for a moment. He was tired, exhausted and in need of a shower. Cloud had been unconscious now for three days and Squall had contacted everyone he knew would worry about Cloud. Tifa had been the first to show up with Reno and had stayed for long enough to give Squall a chance of getting himself something to eat, other than the food the cafeteria in the hospital provided.

Cid had dropped by and said he would look after Sora and Roxas if they needed anything while Squall was staying here. Squall felt relieved since he had forced the twins to return home instead of staying here after the imminent danger had passed even with their threats of turning into bawling five-year-olds. He didn’t care at that point and had told them so. He needed to know they were at least sleeping in their beds and not in hospital corridors or arm chairs that made anyone’s muscles ache badly. So, they had gone home, grudgingly.

Squall had also called Ellone. Why, he didn’t really know, but it had felt good to talk to someone who knew nothing about their struggles and had given him compassion and comforting words that had soothed his exhausted mind.

Axel had come by too, which had been surprising. The man hadn’t stayed long, but Squall appreciated the gesture anyway. Cloud might be pissed if he ever knew. Squall smiled gently at the thought.

He had no idea when he had started to fall asleep but after a while Squall had drifted to sleep, his fingers still lingering next to Clouds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was particularly painful chapter for me go over again. I had written the accident a few years before, but then reality kicked me in the head; my own brother got into a motorcycle accident. He didn't survive. So, I put off publishing this for a long time. It's still too vivid for me and I'm not anything near ok with the whole matter, even if the accident happened over a year and a half ago by now. 
> 
> But Cloud will survive here. And life will go on. In the story and for me too in real life. Thank you for reading this far and hope you will read until the end. I promise it's a happy one.


	21. Chapter 21

**Cloud**

He was swimming in a pale mist, feeling and seeing nothing. He heard nothing, not even his own breathing. Was he breathing? Maybe he wasn't even doing that. But he _did_ exist, didn’t he? So it had to mean he had a body and that body must breathe. Or else it would stop existing. Why couldn’t he see his body? Had he gone blind? Why couldn’t he feel anything? The fog drifted inside his head as the formless existence of Clouds being simply floated in the nothingness. Flashes of memories swam past by him with people he knew and people whom were complete strangers to him. He didn’t even care what that meant, if it even did mean anything. The nothingness swallowed him whole and his mind sank back to the black hole that gave him no recollection of any time passage.

His mind was changing the levels of acknowledging his surroundings. Sometimes Cloud was sure he could hear a voice, sometimes it was a pressure on his fingers, sometimes a sweeping feeling of warmth on his forehead. It was all confusing and Cloud wasn't sure when exactly he had started to recognize the brush of fingers or the smell of something familiar. He knew, at some point he was starting to gather his waking consciousness. To be more aware of everything, including his own body and its functions. The mist moved around him slowly, lazily. His head was swimming and pounding from a distant feeling. Probably a headache, if he his head was somewhere around to be aching.

Cloud tried to shake his dreaming self and to focus but as it usually was, in dreams you control basically nothing even if you are aware you are dreaming.

It was odd to be dreaming of nothingness. Usually his dreams were vivid and full of sharp images of people he had met and places he had visited. Something must have happened if his head was so empty it produced nothing but this. He wanted to wake up already. It felt like he was dragging himself in a lake full of tar. He was stuck and it scared him. He saw nothing, he felt achy and hurt and he was stuck in this fog like state paralyzed. Cloud wanted to scream and cry but he had no mouth or voice to cry with. He struggled against his sluggish state of mind as violently as he could.

Slowly, painfully lazily his consciousness turned towards the reality and in few moments Cloud gasped for air, waking up from his weird dream state and to feel immense amount of strange aches and pain washing intensively over his whole body like spear stuck thru his side. His heart was racing and he had tears in his eyes even if they were still closed. Cloud gasped for air like a man trying to stay above the water surface, afraid he would be pulled under there where everything was white and horribly slow and lonely. Trying to open his eyelids was pure panicking hell. He couldn’t get his vision to focus and he kept feeling a wave of nausea crashing inside him, making him close at hurling all over himself.

Why was he hurting so much? Why did all this feel so wrong?

He tried once more to open his eyes and slowly he managed at it. But only his right eye started to focus on the ceiling above him, the left eye was stubbornly shut no matter what he tried. He was in an unfamiliar room that was hidden in semi darkness. He tried to feel his body more. Legs seemed to work even if they were very stiff. No broken bones there. Same went for his arms and fingers. Cloud moved them slightly and a throb of pain went up from his hand. An iv-tube. So he was in a hospital then.

What had happened?

Cloud closed his eye and tried to remember. It was all a big blurry mess, but when he pushed his memory further remembered he had been driving back from the demolition area and it had been raining really hard and then... Suddenly all was first very bright and after that complete darkness. Next thing he knew he was here, in this room where no light was on and only machines whirring and softly beeping. Cloud wished... Actually, he didn't know what he honestly wished. For the pain to ease for starters perhaps.

Cloud took a deep breath and found his chest making an angry protest at that. He seemed to hurt most from his upper torso. He tried to take another breath as deep but gave up halfway as the throbbing pain got worse and he let out a soft groan. Then he felt it.

Someone moved on the same mattress he was laying. Trying to move as little as he could, Cloud turned his head and peered into the grayness. His neck was protesting against this movement and Cloud could only steal a quick glance to his other side. A form was stooping next to him, lying on the edge of the bed. This someone had their head bent to their folded arms that lay upon the sheets. That someone was fast asleep and snored slightly. Who this person was Cloud had no idea and he was feeling tired again.

He slipped back into healing slumber and didn't notice Squall stirring next to him and looking at Cloud's motionless form with eyes full of exhausted worry.

 

**A week after the accident**

The next time he woke up the room was brightly lit but not by lamps. The sun poured into the small room and gave Cloud the perfect opportunity to scan its contents better. Not that there was anything in particular to see, really.

It was, as those hospital rooms usually were; small, white and impersonal. Very clean and the smell was pretty much revolting.

Thinking of this made him hear his stomach. He was hungry. How long had it been since the last time he had eaten anything? For his knowledge he remembered eating a sandwich at Vincent’s place few hours before he had left to drive back home. As he had no way of knowing the current date Cloud guessed he had been out maybe few days or in worse case; weeks. Though he didn't feel that weak and there of course was the tube connected to his vein. Most likely some kind of nutrient was being fed to him. The sleep had been good and had healed more of the aches since the first time he woke up.

Cloud glanced to his side and saw it was empty. Wondering who had been sleeping there he also noted his room was meant only for one person. Couldn't have been an adventuring roommate then, he mused to himself and yawned. His jaw felt stiff and a wave of dull pain coursed thru him. It was not a good idea to make any sudden moves it seemed. Every single muscle seemed to scream in agony and stiffness. Oh, he wanted answers so badly.

Maybe he should call for a nurse and find out what had happened.

As Cloud turned slowly around to find a button he heard a noise from the closed door and froze. He settled down again and closed his eyes, pretending to be still asleep. Why he did this and not let the person entering see him awake, he did not know. For curiosity perhaps. Or out of learned caution. He didn’t even know who had submitted him into the hospital and for all he knew the person entering the room could be someone he didn’t know at all. It had never hurt anyone to be a bit careful.

The door closed, softly clicking and the person entered the room silently. Cloud didn't dare to try and peer thru his eyelid. The stranger sat down next to his bed where there had been an armchair placed and sighed. So it wasn't a nurse. A nurse would have gone straight for checking the machines and whatever those things were doing and would have then had left. This person now sitting next to him had to be someone Cloud knew.

There was silence for a long while before Cloud heard the person speak and recognized the speaker at once. Squall. His heart throbbed painfully when he heard the pleading in Squalls voice.

“I hate this. Please wake up soon and come back to us. We need you here. _I_ need you here. Can't seem to make things to go back in order again without you telling me I'm a blasted fool..” Cloud was sorry for his friend but didn't move. He felt warmth creeping up to his body as he now knew Squall was there. It gave him comfort. Squall kept rambling, keeping his tone down like he was afraid of actually waking Cloud up.

“I've been an idiot. A complete dimwit. A blind fool. Didn't see what was right before me. Or maybe I did but just didn't want to admit it. Well, not out loud at least. It's so stupid that people wake up only when something drastic happens. I'm so happy you are alive, Cloud.. Only if you'd wake up I'd tell you everything straight to your face and ultimately ask one thing and th..” Squall let out a gasp and jumped up to his feet.

“Then ask now.” Cloud whispered and found his throat dry as the desert of Sahara. He coughed. “Water?” He definitely had been out of this world a long while. Squall stared down at him in shock.

“Cloud?” Squall mechanically reached for the water cup on the side table. “You're awake.. Oh sweet lords, you’re not dead…” There were almost tears in the blue eyes. “You’ve been sleeping so long we got worried you would never wake up…” Squall held the cup to Clouds dry lips carefully and poured few drops in.

“How long?” Cloud managed to raise his voice enough to make audible noise. “And you wanted to ask something?” His left eye was still closed so he tried to make a pleading look with the one that was working.

“You.. heard?” Squall looked ashamed suddenly. Cloud merely nodded. “I thought you were still out of it..” He looked like someone had caught him stealing apples.

“Pretended…” Cloud croaked and tried to understand why Squall looked suddenly so uneasy, standing there, hair ruffled and obviously untouched, eyes shadowed like a man who had not slept well in a while. Squalls clothes were wrinkled like he had been in them for too long, probably slept in them too.

“I.. uh..” Squall sighed and hung his head low for a moment. Then he sat down again and looked Cloud into his eyes. Well, one eye. Squall was quiet for a long time and Cloud found himself wondering had he been muttering something embarrassing in his long sleep or was Squall trying to prolong telling him something like he was moving out of town and Cloud would have to say his goodbyes to the one thing that made him happy these days. The thoughts raced sluggishly in Clouds head, spiced with a throbbing headache.

“Look. Here's the thing. I..” Squall started then paused to take an unsteady breath. “I've been a fool, like I said. The biggest asshole in the universe most likely and I wouldn't even dream of you forgiving me everything but I'm.. I've... fallen in love with you and I can’t seem to function without you any longer.” Squall finished quickly and hung his head lower. Cloud had to blink more than once before he understood what had just been said.

“Could you repeat that last part...” He whispered his heart racing anxiously inside his chest. Squall kept his eyes cast down and seemed to find the floor very interesting. “Please repeat it.” Cloud was sure he had heard right, but how could it be? After all this time! After all these games of cat and mouse he would hear that one thing he certainly did NOT expect to hear!

“I’ve fallen for you, Cloud Strife…So badly it hurts me to be away from you even for minutes. So please don’t hate me and please come back home.” Squall looked up into Cloud's eyes and the blond felt his heart skipping few beats out of sheer shock. Squall kept his silence and waited, patiently like he usually did but somehow Cloud guessed he was a lot less calm underneath.

“You really are an idiot.” Cloud finally breathed. “Having to ask that in the first place is extremely dumb and second are you even sure I’m in all my wits yet? I might just as well be so happily drugged that I will forget this the second I fall asleep again.” Cloud saw how Squall was rapidly turning blank faced. “You know me though, moving fast is one my of best qualities anyway..” He paused, not to consider the answer, but to have courage to say it. “I will come home. And I don’t hate you.” He swallowed and kept talking even if hurt to do so. “This is what I wanted to talk to you about. I went away to get my head straight and gather the courage to tell you I love you, you stupid motherless mongrel.”

“......” Squall was out of balance and gaped at Cloud. Then he reached to take Clouds hand and entwined their fingers gently. “Good. I was starting to think you really were still drugged or being a blond idiot. After all, one can’t expect you to be too bright.” But he smiled so gently Cloud never could have misunderstood that and returned the smile, his heart bursting with joy.


	22. Chapter 22

**Cloud**

It had taken him two weeks to be discharged from the hospital. Cloud felt a bit embarrassed when all his friends saw it necessary to come and send him back home. And when Cloud had expressed the uncertainty of his destination Squall had nearly blown up at him for being so stupid. He had said something like _“You stupid git, you’ve basically moved in already so what the fuck are you whimpering about now!”_ So, Cloud was to be transported back to the apartment he had shared with Squall, Sora and Roxas for some time now. The only difference was that they would move all Clouds things there and his name would appear on the post box, officially.

Of course he was happy he could continue living with the guys, the problem didn’t lie there. It was just too hard to understand he was wanted in people’s lives. Cloud had the constant fear of him being a nuisance and always being in the way. But it seemed he should really start accepting he wasn’t going to get rid of his little family game with Squall. Nor was he going to get rid of any of his friends. They had all had been at the hospital to wish him a speedy recovery. Tifa, Reno, Cid, the twins and… Now Clouds heart skipped a beat when he thought about the friend who had turned into something completely different. Squall.

Cloud and Squall had had time to talk about things when he had been tied to the hospital bed, unable to move much as the stitches were healing slowly. By things he meant all pretty much all the feelings they were feeling. It had been surprisingly easy to confess it all. Maybe the shock of almost dying had left a mark on them both that life was just too short to be wasted on petty things and foolish regrets.

One thing they had only touched in passing so far. Sex, and everything what being together meant physically. Of course it was denied and prohibited to do anything now that Cloud was still in the process of healing. But had he been up and healthy and in the same situation with Squall… Cloud didn’t even dare to guess what else might’ve happen. Of course, he wasn’t completely ignorant and knew _something_ about what kind of things there were to do when you had a boyfriend… It brought a flush on his cheeks whenever he thought about things like touching Squall. Or about taking off Squalls shirt and kissing the bare skin.. Yep, he should most definitely get healthy. Soon.

But for now, Cloud let the thoughts fly off of his mind as he was being escorted back to their shared apartment. He could see the long stairs in the corridor leading to the level where the door waited him. Cloud sighed and leaned heavily to Reno who was supporting him on his better side. The other side of him was still patched up and hurt quite badly when touched. The stairs felt more like a mountain top than just those 15 steps it really was. Cloud knew Squall was inside the apartment, doing gods knew what, and not helping him at all. The bastard. Reno wasn’t the optional choice for this sort task after all.

“How the heck am I supposed to live here if I have to keep limping up and down these stairs if I want to get out of the flat?” Cloud grumbled. He didn’t have any other choice. Tifa had sold the bar and had moved out as soon as the papers had been signed. Cloud had moaned and bitched about the existence of these million times cursed steps, but his whining had echoed to empty ears it seemed. Squall should’ve built him an escalator or something, just out of love or something.

“I would drag you to my place but I don’t think you’d appreciate much living on a bad couch and Axel running in and out of the door anytime he finds it fitting, eh.” Reno snorted softly and tried to take a better hold of Clouds arm around his shoulders. “What the hell did they feed you at the hospital! Dude, I’m sure you’ve _gained_ weight, not lost any like patients usually do!”

“Oh shut your mouth and help me up these friggin stairs so I can stop aching so fucking badly.” Cloud gritted his teeth and was mentally preparing for the task ahead of him when the door they were meant to reach opened and Squall’s head poked out. He spotted Cloud and Reno sweating on the lowest step and hurried out of the apartment.

“I’ll take him from here, thank you.” Squall removed Reno from Cloud and then, just like that, picked the blond man up to his arms, careful enough to avoid causing Cloud any additional pain.

“Oi, what the f-” Cloud managed to gasp and automatically took a hold of Squalls shoulders afraid he might fall down, every muscle and joint in his body protesting this sudden movement. “Idiot! Why didn’t you warn me if you were going to play a stupid rescue the maiden in distress game!”

“Oh, come on Cloud. You enjoy it somewhere deep in your guts. Because you’re such a spoilt little princess after all.” Squall grinned while slowly walking up the stairs. Cloud clutched to the man for his dear life and tried not to think what would happen if Squalls hold should fail. Cloud ignored the taunts for the moment but was determined to let his opinion about Squall to be heard once he was set back on the floor, safe and sound.

It took only few minutes to climb up but it felt like an hour to Cloud who had a searing pain now at his side on the scars from the operation and his head was starting to spin slowly. Just when he thought he couldn’t take the pain any longer he felt his feet touch the floor and opened his eyes to find himself in Squalls bedroom. Cloud blinked.

“Why are we here? I thought I’d be resting on the couch.”

“Well, yeah. You can go there if you like but I thought you’d want to sleep for a while after this highly traumatic transfer from the hospital.”

“Hmm.” Cloud was pleased to be considered so much but he didn’t want to rob Squalls own private space like this. He glanced at the bed. He blinked again and checked if his eye sight had been damaged as well. “Squall…” Cloud mumbled, a bit unsure what he was supposed to think. Squall was closing the curtains, dimming the room for Cloud to sleep without the sun pouring in.

“Hm?” Squall looked puzzled but when following Clouds gaze he eventually flushed slightly and cleared his throat. “Like it? I thought it was time for you to stop sleeping on the couch...”

“Well, yeah. Sure I like it but isn’t it a bit big for you?”

“Wh... What? No, oh sweet mercy.. Cloud! I bought the damn bed for _both of us_ to sleep in! Didn’t you just hear me say it was time for you to stop lurking in the dark corner of the living room!”

“Not to be rude or anything but aren’t you being a bit presumptuous? And I like the dark corners, thank you very much.” Cloud cocked one eyebrow and looked at Squall who took the hint and understood why the double bed was a bit suspicious.

“Cloud! Good grief, I didn’t mean it like _that_. What kind of a pervert you think I am…” Squall turned his back to the blond and tossed a light blanket on the bed. “Just… Get in there you stupid emo brat and rest. Before I actually do take advantage of you and make you return to hospital.” Squall growled.

“Fine. Then stop being a pain the ass and help me lay down.” Cloud was amused and quite touched. He had thought the situation to be a bit sticky since they had had no conversations about the sleeping arrangements. This explained why… He took few limping steps and felt the world go black before his eyes. Before he fell though, a pair of arms took him in their embrace.

“Can’t leave you for a second alone, now can I?” Squall murmured into Clouds ear softly and leaned down to help the blond to sit safely on the bed. Cloud remained quiet as Squall helped him to remove extra clothing and made sure he was resting safe and sound under the light blanket.

“Squall… Thanks. For being here.” Cloud felt a rush of emotion running thru his body and it made his heart flutter like a scared little bird for a moment. Squall smiled slightly.

“You’d do the same for me.” Squall reached his hand and brushed a wayward strand of blond hair out of Clouds face and leaned down. He leaned down and gazed straight into Clouds eyes from such a short distance Cloud could smell the shampoo Squall used. Clouds heart was hammering now so loud he was sure Squall could hear it. Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath and before he could breathe it out he felt Squalls lips pressing against his own ever so gently.

Cloud felt dizzy from the pain in his body and from the happiness the kiss brought to him. It was very tender and sweet. Something you wouldn’t really expect from a person like Squall but Cloud had had the privilege of knowing how absolutely brilliant kisser Squall could be. But even this small gesture against his lips felt more intensive than the first they had shared such a long time ago. Just because now he knew the feelings he had were returned the same way.

Squall broke the touch sooner than Cloud would have wanted and he opened his eyes to see the man above him looking at with a serious expression on his face.

“Now you must rest. We will continue this only when you have healed completely. I promise you that.” Squall said it with voice thick with want and he gave Cloud a look that made his veins go hot. “Sleep tight…” Squall grinned evilly and left the room. Cloud laid there his mind humming slightly. Yeah, he definitely should get better soon. It would get a lot more interesting in this house once all the bruises and cuts had healed.

 

**Squall**

It had taken a whole month for Cloud to recover enough for him to start his normal daily routines. Squall examined his boyfriend from the kitchen door where Cloud was sitting before the table quite comfortably reading the morning paper and drinking tea. It was still baffling for Squall to be able to call the blond his boyfriend. The whole concept was a bit funny and sounded like something teenagers could let out of their mouths.

Squall had some pressing matters to discuss with his handsome heartbreaker today but he took his time and let his eyes rest over the t-shirt clad torso and blond hair sticking out ever so ungracefully in every direction. Cloud had his face pressed down to read but Squall could make the line of his jaw and nose. He liked those features. And he liked them even more in this particular kitchen every morning. And he hoped these mornings would never end.

“Anything earth shattering happening?” Squall let his day dreams escape for the moment and walked into the room, heading towards the coffee maker.

“Nothing much. The advertisement for our delivery company is on today’s paper though. Looks like shit but I didn’t expect much more.” Cloud sighed. “I wish I could just sell the whole shit off as soon as possible. I can’t keep running it like this after Tifa leaves the town. Did you know she stayed behind just because she was waiting for me to recover?”

“I did.” Squall sat opposite Cloud and examined the troubled face before him. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it anyway. What would you say if I bought the half Tifa left to you?” He was sure Cloud would reject this but he had given the idea serious thought over the past month and it wasn’t very unappealing after all. He was good at running things both from office and in the field.

“Squall.. Don’t say that. I don’t want your pity offers.” Cloud groaned and burrowed his brows in slight annoyance.

“I’m not saying it because I feel pity for your situation.” Squall had been right. The blond was amazingly stubborn to accept any charity. “Take your head out of your ass and think for a moment. Who is the one to run all the paperwork at the moment? Me. Who fixes the computers when something happens? Me. Who deals with customers who are even bigger asses than you sometimes? ME. So why in the name of any deity I would offer you pity?” He scoffed and took a steadying breath. “I’m already practically your partner in that company so what could be more natural than making it official, hm?”

Cloud was staring at him now, head slightly tilted to the side, eyes narrowing a bit as the man considered the things Squall had presented just now.

“Well, when you put it like that…” Cloud grinned then suddenly. “Then I guess I have no other option than to say; Welcome aboard partner!” He offered his hand over the table. Squall laughed and took the hand. They shook hands but didn’t let go and rested their arms on the table instead, now entwining their fingers together.

“I have another announcement to make.” Squall mused while enjoying the feel of Clouds skin against his.

“Oh god.. Are you somehow pregnant?” Cloud groaned and faked a horrified face.

“Well, not exactly.” Squall half smiled. “The twins are going to move out.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of sex in this chapter. You have been warned.

**Squall**

Cloud's hair was tickling Squall's ear and cheek as the blond rested his head to Squalls shoulder while they were busy watching an uninteresting splatter movie. Dull and not really entertaining brains-to-wall's-kind of movie. Cloud was warm next to his side, radiating that comforting warmth that spoke in silent volumes of affection, idly playing with the hem of Squall's shirt with one hand. He still couldn't really digest the fact they were.. an item. A bloody couple. For real. It was too amazing to be true, after all that time they had circled around each, not really knowing what to do or to think or what say about anything even slightly suggesting.

But it was all worth it now. The twins had moved out a few months ago and the flat was eerily quiet most of the time these days. It had been a bittersweet parting for all of them but mainly to Sora who had managed to weep his eyes red already the night before. Of course Squall was worried would the twins be ok from now on, but then again… The apartment those two had rented together wasn’t all that far away and most likely they would come scratching behind the door after they would run out of food. Squall hadn’t been the best possible father figure perhaps, but the boys could at least wash their own laundry even if they couldn’t be bothered to cook for themselves that often.

Squalls thoughts got interrupted as Cloud moved sleepily next to him pulling himself to a more sitting position. Lazily he eyed at Squall, the brilliance of the big blue eyes never ceasing to make Squall feel like drowning, and Cloud leaned forward, pressing his lips gently over Squalls cheek. The gesture made Squall flinch in surprise.

“Squall..?” Cloud's voice was moving close to his ear, being low and quieted. On the TV-screen, the zombies were smashed into squidgy pulp by the heroes of the movie.

“Mmm.?” Squall was faintly interested anymore about the movie as Clouds fingers were trailing a tiny path over his t-shirt clad chest, making it rather impossible to concentrate on anything but that. It was fairly unknown that he actually was ticklish to that sort of touch. Too bad for Squall that Cloud knew it now, enjoying this small torture he was able to do. However Squall took it like a man and tried his best to not squirm too much. He didn’t hate it after all. At all.

“I want to go all the way.” Cloud's voice was dripping thick honey hotly against his ear. A violent shudder wanted to shake Squalls body for the rush that went thru his body as his brains finally managed to register the full meaning of that small, so very innocent, sentence.

“....” Squall was speechless and only able to lick his lips quickly as Cloud took his earlobe between his teeth and yanked the flesh gently. He really should be able to handle a comment like that but.. Damn, it was hard to say anything when he was treated like this at the same time. Cloud knew all too well which buttons to press to make Squall an easy prey.

“I really want to fuck with you. Right now. Right here..” Clouds tongue trailed down to Squalls neck from his ear and he felt the teeth nibbling the sensitive skin. Squall felt a little whimper forming in his throat but swallowed it fast. He should at least try to stay calm. At least for few more minutes before his desires would push the sanity out of the way and he would jump onto his boyfriend.

“Oh, really..” Squall smiled, feeling hot inside. It took a massive effort from him to keep his voice even remotely steady. He tried to focus on the flashing screen before him, a scene of brains scattering all over the walls filled his eyes for a moment, but it was hard, so incredibly hard to watch something so uninteresting while Cloud was hovering over his sensitive throat with those soft lips of his.

“Yeah..” Clouds words ghosted over Squalls skin while his fingers had disappeared under Squall's shirt and trailed over the flat stomach. “I want to hear you moan my name.. Over and over again.” Cloud rarely spoke out dirty stuff so it was pushing all the right buttons at this very moment as Squall had the habit of getting a bit more excited because of that whenever Cloud graced him with lewd talk. And Cloud was definitely getting better at it. Squall could feel his whole body tensing as the words and fair touches lit his veins slowly in fire. Also this was the first time either of them had expressed a desire for going thru the whole experience. That alone was enough to make Squall pick up his boyfriend and carry him into the bedroom. Or rip off the clothes and do it right here. Anything was fine really.

But it meant that they had a certain decision to make before they would be able to continue with the adventure. Well.. Squall mused turning his head enough to find Clouds grinning face close enough for them to press their lips together for a slow, unhurried kiss that sent their heartbeats up to the roof. There had to be a first to for everything. For him the idea wasn’t that offensive now that he was with Cloud. When he had been with Axel for that short time he had been the top. In this relationship he and Cloud were more equals rather than the stereotypes of either one being just top or bottom. If Cloud would want to fuck him then why on earth would Squall say no? There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for Cloud anyway.

Squall felt the warmth that was circling inside him to rise up to his cheeks as he pulled Cloud closer to him and deepened the kiss. He plunged his tongue inside to meet its opponent, swirled around it and returned into his own mouth only to pick up Clouds bottom lip between his teeth and suck on it. Squall felt Clouds hot breath on his lips and opened his eyes enough to see the flushed cheeks and fluttering eyelashes. It was so wrong that a guy could have that long lashes. Squall closed his eyes again and gripped onto Cloud harder and buried his face into the blond hair. His heart was about to explode from the joyous feeling he had bottled up inside him.

“Could you hold it in for a moment longer so I can drag you to bed?” Squall breathed into Clouds ear. He knew his restraints wouldn’t last very long before he would just peel off the layers of disturbing clothes covering Clouds body.

“I might.” Cloud chuckled and pulled away from Squall standing up smiling down at him. “Should I.. Perhaps make the journey worth your while?” Clouds smile turned into a wicked smirk and he started to walk backwards away from Squall sliding his own hands under his t-shirt lifting the hem higher. Squall saw the flat stomach, the finely tuned muscles revealing themselves inch by inch as Cloud slowly made the fabric go higher. When Cloud had reached the door he had managed to drag his shirt over his head and sent the piece of fabric from his hands flying somewhere. He stood there topless for a moment, trailing one finger from his lips down to his throat, then to his chest and finally over his abs and to the buttons on his jeans. Cloud cocked one eyebrow and snapped one button open, staring straight at Squall in the eyes.

Squall smirked and jumped on his feet with his reasons of staying calm flying thru the window and almost ran after Cloud who had disappeared towards their bedroom quite fast. This evening might turn interesting if Cloud was already feeling that playful.

When Squall caught up with his stripping partner had Cloud managed to get rid of his jeans and was sitting on the edge of the bed with just his boxers on. Squall tossed his t-shirt he had ripped off him whilst following the blonds’ tracks, from his hands to the corner of their bedroom and strode straight to Cloud. He unbuttoned his jeans and stood still for a moment before he placed one knee on the bed between Cloud’s legs. Cloud looked up at him and licked his lips slowly staring straight at Squall daring him to take the first move. That was the last straw. Squall tackled his now grinning boyfriend and pressed the firm, trained body under his own and attacked the moistened lips with such ferocity they nearly clashed teeth together.

Cloud wasn’t against this sort of turn of the events as his hands went up the second their bodies connected. Squall felt one set of fingers somewhere between his shoulder blades and one groping his ass. He grind down his hips and got a satisfactory gasp of pleasure as their erections created friction because his movement. The hand on his ass tightened its hold and pushed down. So, Cloud wanted more? Squall bit down to Clouds bottom lip and sucked it hard while he grinded his hips down more aggressively up and down.

Cloud moaned audibly this time and opened his eyes to look at Squall who had bitten down on his own lip this time just to prevent himself from groaning too loud from the pleasure.

“Squall.. Do it. Fuck me.” Cloud whispered. Squall opened his eyes and saw the blond flushed almost fiery red, lips swollen from the nips and tugs, slightly parted and the look that sparkled in the blue depths sent Squalls last remaining bits of sanity sinking down into dark abyss.

“Your wish is my command.” Squall replied slightly out of breath and leaned down to kiss the tempting lips, gently this time. Deeply and slowly he kissed the mouth he could never drink enough from. All the gasps of pleasure, all the moans of ecstasy, all the laughter yet to be laughed; he would drink it all and store somewhere inside his heart. Squall felt a small tremor going thru Clouds body. They had obviously been playing these games many times before but had never ventured to the end. Now that the moment had come Squall felt slightly nervous even if he was just as horny as Cloud was. He didn’t want to hurt Cloud but as it would be the first time it was inevitable. But there were things to ease the amount of displeasure. They had both done it with to each other with the help of certain liquids and toys so the sensation wouldn’t be too much for the receiving end the first time.

Out of habit Squall reached to the night table to grab the lotion they so very handily kept close and laid it somewhere nearer. First they should remove the clothes that still remained on them. Squall broke the kiss to sit up and remove his jeans and boxers before crawling in the middle of their bed next to Cloud. Cloud lay for a moment eyes closed and panting hard before he removed his remaining boxers and tossed them out of the bed.

“So hot.” Squall heard Cloud murmuring and looked up in time to see the blond crawling on all fours towards him with an awfully hungry look in his eyes. “I think I will taste you. Right now.” And with that said Cloud lowered his head and licked the tip of Squalls erection which was proudly standing up and eager for any kind of touching.

“Aw, shit. Cloud…” Squall groaned and hissed when Cloud took the whole length into his mouth and sucked sloppily. Squall loved that feeling. That wet and hot touch of the lips he so loved and the soft tongue trailing on the heated, hard skin. Squall placed one hand on Clouds neck and twisted few blond strands of hair around his fingers. He felt the pressure Cloud created with his lips to the tip and then trailing kisses under the rigid shaft. It was simply amazing. The sheer sensation of being touched by Cloud and seeing the blond head bobbing up and down on his lap always got Squalls nerves all riled up and he would end up a sopping mess on the bed way too soon.

Squall grit his teeth together when Cloud sucked even harder, feeling the tongue sliding over and over and in the small slit on top of his cock smearing the pre-cum. Then Cloud suddenly let the throbbing dick out from his mouth with a loud POP and gave it one last sloppy lick. Squall exhaled with trembling lips and stopped Cloud before he was getting down again and pulled the man to sit in his lap. Squall opened his legs in v-shape so that Cloud would be perfectly positioned for what he had in mind. Squall placed one hand to Clouds back and pulled their torsos closer. Cloud obliged easily and placed his own hand around Squalls shoulders and leaned his face sitting close to Squall on his knees the legs on both sides of Squalls thighs. Didn’t take much for Squall to take the hint and to lean closer as well to enclose their abandoned lips together again in a deep, breathless kiss.

Squall could feel the hot air as they mingled their saliva together in the kiss that sent his mind spinning with more lust. He reached down in between their bodies and slid his fingers over Clouds cock. He felt the blond shuddering as Squalls fingers trailed down the hot surface and up again to spread the pre-cum over the tip. He knew Cloud loved that tickling teasing. Cloud moaned softly in the middle of their kiss and tightened his grip, his hips involuntary responding to the touch by jerking forward. Squall let go of the member in his hands for a moment just to bring his own erection into the hold. This time Cloud let out audible cry as the two dicks rubbed together with the helping pumping of Squalls hand. The wet sound those two body parts made in this state was one those things that excited Squall even more. And the heat he could feel by touching Cloud like this, it was incredible. He could feel it thru his fingers and his palm and thru the stretched skin of his throbbing member. Maybe he was a bit on the pervy side but who cared. Being able to touch Cloud like this was like the best wet dream come true.

Squall put some more pressure into his touch and increased the pace, feeling Clouds member twitching slightly as the blonds abs tightened. Squall felt the pleasure building the pool of ecstasy down in the pit of his groin and changed the tactics. He loosened his fingers and instead let his flat palm stroke the tips of their cocks moving his hand in slow rotating move. Cloud moaned and bit down to Squalls lip but didn’t waste much time plunging back deep into the depths of Squalls mouth. Squall returned the feverish kiss with eagerness taking a firm hold of the pulsating members with his hand again. It was so good, so damn good to jerk off like this. He could feel Cloud bucking up his hips to gain more pressure and knew his edge was pretty close. Few more strokes and they both climaxed bodies jerking against each other as the wave of pleasure crashed thru them leaving them panting hard into each others’ mouths.

“It’s not over yet..” Squall whispered into Clouds ear and felt the man trembling in his embrace. He licked Clouds neck, a faint taste of salt on his tongue, and leaned forward to gently lay his shaking partner on the bed sheets and then crawled up to lay next to him. Seeing Cloud like this all naked and beautiful, out of breath, the pale face flushed, Squall felt his heart clenching and his chest tightening at the sight. He tried to steady his breathing while wrapping his arm over Clouds naked torso and facing him with a pleased smile on his lips. Cloud turned onto his side to face Squall and smiled back.

“I..” Cloud started but hesitated and burrowed his eyebrows. He bit his lip and looked at Squall with slightly embarrassed look. He coughed and smiled. “I guess I’m not that sentimental I could just go and state my feelings out loud so easily even if I wanted to.” Cloud had almost an apologetic look upon his face but it disappeared as the man reached behind Squall and pulled a blanket over their bodies and then settled down to look at Squalls face again.

“Well, I might have to lure the words out of you some other way then.” Squall smiled and pulled Cloud closer so that their entire bodies were touching again. “Maybe I’ll start from somewhere…” Squall trailed his fingers down Clouds spine and to his buttocks. “Somewhere around here?” He gave a small slap to the tight buttock and Cloud flinched in surprise.

“Naughty you..” Cloud narrowed his eyes and leaned forward to place his lips on Squalls neck while trailing one hand behind Squalls back. Squall smiled and inhaled the fragrance emanating from Clouds skin and hair. It was one of those things that could just like that get your head lost in some fluffy clouds or turn your veins to a boiling point. He let his fingers trail along the curve of Clouds buttock and down to the thigh. He took a better hold and lifting Clouds leg Squall led the leg to rest over on his own hip. This of course brought their groins back in contact and a small shudder ran thru both of them for the touch.

Squall let his finger trail back to the round tight ass he so badly wanted to ravish and began to circle the skin lightly with his fingertips. One of those things he had leaned while he and Cloud had been studying about each other was this: Cloud really liked when Squall trailed his fingers gently over the pale skin not really doing much else but just touching ever so gently. Cloud said if Squall would touch his lower back enough long like that it would eventually start sending electric jolts up and about Clouds body which were comparable with small orgasms. Of course Squall had taken the words to his heart and used the information whenever he had the chance. Squall let his fingers wander without hurry from side to side, occasionally making a vertical slide just faintly touching the gap between Clouds butt cheeks. Slowly he felt the body against him turning warmer and Cloud started to fidget slightly in his embrace. Squall smiled, knowing he had managed his task.

Clouds fingers kept tracing their way up and down Squalls back, pressing down time to time to the muscles, sometimes getting high enough to get tangled up into the mass of brown hair. Cloud liked to mess with his hair and Squall had nothing against it as it usually sent a warm pleasing sensation down his body. Clouds breathing had fastened during these small ministrations and the blond was huffing warm air on Squalls neck in increasing speed, the body tensing and flinching whenever Squall trailed over some spot that sent waves of pleasure running wild under the marble skin.

Squall could feel the familiar warmth pooling inside him, gathering to the pit of his stomach and down to his groin. He dipped his fingers into the crack he had been hovering over about and felt a jolt in Clouds body. Squall licked his lips and he removed his touch from Clouds skin reaching up to find the bottle of lube he had left lying somewhere around the pillows. While he searched the bottle Cloud sank his teeth into Squalls neck and sucked the skin hard enough to leave mark. Cloud had a habit of doing that when he got the chance. Not that Squall minded it, not really. He was sickeningly fluffy idiot these days and he blamed his idiot boyfriend for it happily.

Finally Squall found what he was looking for and wiggled the cork open with one hand. He managed to squeeze some lube on his palm and then returned to his original task slicking up his fingers thoroughly. Cloud let out a trembling breath when Squall slid one finger down the crack and onto the puckered flesh pushing in. Cloud pressed closer at that moment to Squall, breathing in quick shallow pants. The blonds’ breath was hot on his skin and the heat enveloping his finger was so intense he could actually feel his cock stiffening just by thinking he would be burying himself into that exquisite warmth today. Squall allowed Cloud a moment to adjust to the feeling of being penetrated before he began to move.

Squall wanted nothing more than to make Cloud feel good, to make him a trembling mass of echoes of pure pleasure dripping down the swollen lips and his mind nearly exploding with ecstasy. Squall carefully inserted a second finger. He moved his fingers slowly; pulling them out and then going back in to be sure he wasn’t tearing anything by being rash and impatient and coating the insides with the lube thoroughly. When he scissored his fingers Cloud puffed an audible, throaty moan that was yet unheard of before. The blond sounded so lewd like this Squall found himself wishing they had a mirror in the sealing so he could see all the different faces Cloud was making this moment.

When Squall added the third finger Cloud let out such a moan Squall could almost feel his own arousal jerking violently. Cloud rocked his hips up against Squalls and the touch their stiffened cocks created between their stomachs elicited a strangled groan even from Squalls mouth. Squall wanted to take his time with this but try as he might his will to keep himself calm and patient was slowly but surely drifting away from him. So he added the fourth finger and thrust the digits painfully slowly inside few inches. Clouds breath hitched once more and the blond hid his face to Squalls shoulder holding on tight, moaning shamelessly.

“It’s enough, Squall. Just do it already. I want you.” Cloud panted into Squalls ear and yanked the earlobe with his teeth not all that gently. Enough cue to anyone to stop prepping and get down to the real work.

“You asked for it.” Squall smiled gently and removed his fingers and sat up. Cloud inhaled hungrily for air, probably feeling quite empty after the fingers inside him and sat up too his hands propping him up shaking slightly. He ran his hands thru his spiky blond hair and suddenly pulled Squall into a tight hug kissing him fiercely, plunging deep into the brunets’ mouth sucking on the tongue he met in the middle almost feverishly. The kiss was so intense Squall almost forgot what he was supposed to do next but as suddenly as Cloud had tackled him the blond let go.

“I love you.” Cloud mumbled blushing deepest shade of red before turning his back on Squall who sat there blinking a packet of condoms loosely hanging from his fingers. Squall smiled and coughed, unwrapping one piece of plastic and rolling it over his visibly throbbing cock. He reached for the tube of lube and added a liberate amount of the gel like substance over the rubber clad surface and inhaled deeply.

“On your fours then.” Squall mumbled and when Cloud had obeyed he placed himself behind the blond and guided his member to the hole he was about to impale. Squall bit down on his lip, spreading Clouds buttocks lip as he ever so slowly started to push into Cloud. He heard the blond grunting and gasping for air as the length went more and more in agonizingly slowly. After excruciatingly slow moves and minutes later Squall had sheathed himself fully inside. He was gasping for air the same way as Cloud was. The heat was so immense, so burning and tight, it consumed him so wholly Squall felt like he was being boiled alive. Alone these sensations could have sent Squall over the edge again but he leaned over Clouds bent back and kissed the tense shoulder blade. “I love you too.” He whispered softly and felt to his relief Cloud to relax tremendously.

Squall began to retract slowly almost to the point of pulling out completely but just before doing so he pushed in just an inch or two and then retracted again. Repeating this in slow motion created such amount of pleasure just to himself Squall was on the edge of letting out rather obscene moans. Just so and so he managed to muffle his voice by gritting his teeth together and breathing in sharp gasps. When Squall heard Cloud letting out an lecherous moan he began to thrust inside just a little bit more with each thrust, working his way deeper in smooth rhythmical moves that made Cloud let out such noises Squall never thought possible to fall out from those lips. Finally he was at the hilt buried back inside and by then Squall knew Cloud was accustomed to the penetrating cock inside him as the blond was arching his back and thrusting his hips to meet Squalls.

Squall grinned to himself between his thrusts and took a firmer hold of Clouds hips. Then he pulled out and slammed back inside as deep as he could. Cloud cried out and dropped his head to the mattress leaning to his elbows now. The amount of pleasure was so intense Squall wanted to pound fast and hard to relieve his ecstasy but tried to control his urges for a little while longer before he would give into his carnal desires. He reached down and wrapped his fingers around Clouds profusely leaking cock and pumped in sync with his thrusts. Cloud contracted around his own dick and they both let out a moan of deepest pleasure.

“Come on Squall, fuck me hard. Now!” Cloud suddenly groaned hoarsely and pushed his ass backwards to make Squall sink in just a bit deeper. Squall needed no other command and spread the buttocks in front of him wider and began to pound relentlessly in trying to find that one specific spot that would make the blonds toes curl and mind see white spots. Cloud shuddered violently and let out a moan against the sheets almost reaching his climax a trickle of saliva leaking from the corner of his open mouth.

“Yeah, you like that, huh? Found your sweet spot, did I?” Squall grit his teeth and sank his cock once again so deep Clouds legs almost gave out and he whimpered into the mattress under him. Squall could feel the blond tightening around him and it was working him towards his own end extremely fast. Squall reached down to stroke Clouds throbbing cock into his hand, pumping it up and down the hard flesh hard, the slick sound echoing along with the grunts and moans they both were letting out and rammed himself into Clouds ass so hard he thought he would end up breaking his boyfriend in the process.

He could almost feel the bundle of nerves he was hitting inside Cloud though he didn’t need that to know he was doing things right. Cloud was now the trembling mess Squall had wanted to make him, whispering his name over and over again eyes closed and muscles tightening with every contacting push. The fiery warmth was pooling inside Squall rapidly and traveling to seek its exit from his pulsating member inside Cloud. Squall could feel the cock in his hand swelling and stiffening, the walls around his own member sucking him further in and knew Cloud wasn’t far from his happy end.

“Nha-ah.. Ah… Squall!” Cloud had pressed his face to the mattress and was yelping in muffles gasps. Squall gritted his teeth seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, his heartbeat hitting dangerous speed probably. It took few more thrusts before the climax reached him, white light erupting into blazing fire display before his closed eyelids and he let out a strangled, loud moan feeling Cloud ejaculating a moment later into his hand and trembling all over violently.

Squall nearly collapsed at that moment but had the sense of pulling out of Cloud before slumped next to his panting and quivering partner. He kept his eyes closed and tried to even his breathing when he felt a warm arm landing over his chest and Cloud turning his sweaty and flushed face to looking exhausted but exhilarated.

“ I’m not walking tomorrow. No way.” Cloud groaned but smiled closing his eyes steadying his breathing. “Next time you’re gonna take it.” A wicked, if a bit tired smile spread onto the blonds lips and he sneaked a peek at Squall.

“Perv.” Squall snorted and heaved himself up so he could place a kiss to the salty forehead. “I’d like to see you top my performance.” He reached down to his softening cock and carefully removed the condom and throwing it into the trash basket and flopped down next to Cloud.

“Oh, I’ll make you scream my name.” Cloud retorted amused. “But not now, I’m old and tired and want to cuddle. Deal with it.” Cloud rolled onto his side and wrapped his arm around Squalls waist, pulling their bodies together, blissfully ignoring the mess they had made on the sheets and the fact they could’ve used a shower before indulging themselves into the pleasurable aftermath. Squall just smiled returning the embrace.


	24. Chapter 24

**Squall**

Cloud was lounging on the couch dozing his slender legs resting over Squall’s thighs while Squall was reading the newspaper just for the sake of doing something that kept him from falling asleep like Cloud. The summer had slowly changed in to autumn having left the days warm for them to keep on enjoying the fresh breeze blowing thru the apartment and allowing them to feel comfortably lazy. The sun was pouring in from the window and tickling Squalls bare feet on the carpet. Though it was Saturday neither of them had any pressing matter to attend to. Squall had quit his cafeteria career after it became too burdening after Squall had taken up the partnership with Cloud in running the delivery company. It paid enough for them to live rather comfortably but Squall knew he for one didn’t want to do this for the rest of his life. The stress at all was enough to drive one mad. And he wanted freedom to shower Cloud with more affection and happiness, as cheesy as it may sound.

Somewhere in the darkest corners of his mind Squall had started to think he should probably decide what he wanted to do to earn enough to support their future. He glanced at the sleeping face of his better half and smiled, itching to kiss the slightly parted lips. He wanted to give Cloud a future where they could be content and happy without worrying about financial things. Squall had done some research about few possibilities but it would require him to take some courses to be qualified. The idea of returning to school wasn’t really appealing to him but if it would grant him what he wanted then he would just have to suffer it.

Then there was the case of breaking the news to Cloud and what to do with the business. Squall had noticed how badly the current situation stressed Cloud out. Cloud wasn’t the type to run a firm smoothly and took it way too seriously and into his heart. It was beginning to drain the blond out. Squall wanted to help more but he was busy with his own duties and Cloud always shooed him away whenever Squall tried to butt in on something.

Squalls train of thoughts was suddenly disturbed by a hard banging coming from the front door. The sound was enough to wake the dead and it easily pulled both him and Cloud back to reality. They glanced at each other eyebrows high before Squall go up to his feet.

“Uh, guys?” Sora’s muffled voice came from behind the door calling out to them and Squall hurried to open the door. “We really need to talk to you.” The boy sounded anxious, a bit scared, something that was very unlike Sora. Squall felt his heart sinking with worry about the unknown troubles causing Sora to be in obvious distress. He yanked the door open and Sora wobbled in Roxas in tow, looking as stunned as his brother did. 

“Ok. You’re in. Mind telling me what’s going on? We haven’t heard from you in weeks and now you turn up looking like the world has come to an end.” Squall closed the door and followed the twins into the sitting room.

“Yuffie called.” Sora had gone to sit down next to Cloud on the couch and Roxas had slumped on the lone armchair, his face emotionless with a hint of disturbance. That alone was enough to tell Squall something not so good had come up.

“And apparently she bore no good news?” Squall egged the twins on. Why was it so hard to pull the answer out of them now when they usually offered too much information about everything? Squall frowned.

“Well not exactly. Or, I don’t know. Maybe it’s bad. Maybe not. It could be. It could no-..” Sora babbled on, not really concentrating on anything what came out of his mouth.

“Oh come on guys, pull yourself together and spit it out!” Squall snapped crossing arms before him and glaring down at the twins.

“Yuffie has found our brother. He lives in Radiant Garden and is older than we are.” Sora blurted finally out staring down at his hands on his lap. Squall felt his heart sinking and heard a stunned gasp coming from Clouds direction.

“What.. the.. how… What is it, I mean, who is he?” Squall was spluttering. He just couldn’t fathom anything at the moment. Would this change something? How could he protect the twins if this said brother was to cause trouble to them? The thoughts raced thru his mind making very little sense. Squall sank on the arm of the chair Roxas was sitting on and ran his hand thru his brown locks.

“He.. uh.. According to Yuffie he is called Ventus. And uh.. apparently lives with his husband.” Roxas’ voice had been silent to begin with but it faded away quickly. Squall glanced at the blond young man and narrowed his eyes feeling more and more suspicious. There was definitely something Sora wasn’t telling.

“And? Does he know about you? Or has Yuffie already dragged the guy here and you’ve just escaped from meeting him?”

“Oh come on Squall, do you think Yuffie would be _that_ idiotic?” Cloud scoffed at this point in a small defense of his old friend. 

“Actually, yes. I do.” Squall growled. His opinion about the giddy girl had never been too high and it was plummeting rapidly at the moment. 

“Yuffie said Ventus doesn’t know yet so we can choose if we want to let the whole matter g-…” Roxas muttered his face still casted down at his knees.

“Like hell we are!” Sora burst out suddenly interrupting Roxas. “I mean… uh. I kinda already sent him a message…” His voice vanished slowly and he looked away from his brother embarrassed. “I was just so exited, you know… To know there is someone who’s actually related to us.” Roxas’s eyes shot up looking livid with rage and he jumped up from the chair looking straight at Sora.

“Are you shitting me?! Why the fuck did you do that without talking to me first!” Roxas yelled looking like he really wanted to hit his brother and Squall almost jumped between them but didn’t get the chance when Roxas started to pace around the room. “You always do this! What if he’s a fake? What if he doesn’t even want to know who we are? And if he does what if he’s a complete asshole who just wants to laugh at our faces because we weren’t wanted and he was!”

“Uh.. Rox.. You’re wrong. He already answered that he wants to meet us asap…” Sora was rather pale at this point and sat frozen on the couch, fearing Roxas’ next reaction. Though, Squall was quite sure Sora knew Roxas would never hurt him, not really. Roxas was the one to hold back in every situation where as Sora plunged forward with that never ending curiosity of his without any fear. But it seemed that even the patient ones had their limits. The blond twin had stopped on his tracks and stood staring the opposite wall his back to his brother.

“Sora.” Squall decided to step in at this point before there was open warfare starting and addressed the frightened twin. “You should’ve told Roxas about contacting Ventus before you did. And you should’ve talked to me right after Yuffie had told you this, both of you. Sora you know you run into things without thinking too much and this is a huge thing to run into.” Squall didn’t even raise his voice but it had the effect he wanted; Sora had the decency to look embarrassed.

“I’m sorry… I just did it because I know if Rox knew he would stall the whole thing for weeks because he’s scared and.. And because he wants to know as much as I do.” Sora was at looking his twin who stood rigid his back to the other two. Squall wanted to smile. Sora wasn’t exactly stupid to do all this. He knew his brothers weaknesses better than anyone and really, who could blame him wanting to know about a brother who suddenly appears in their shattered and rough life with no living relative in sight.

“I need to be alone.” Roxas finally turned around and glared coldly at Sora who froze. With that said the blond boy walked out of the room and out of the front door slamming it behind him.

“He’ll come around.” Squall patted Sora’s shoulder in an attempt to cheer him up.

“I know he does. I just hate it when he gets all butt hurt like this. It’s not like I don’t know he cares so much it makes him act like an idiot.” Sora sighed and shook his head. “We’re twins and it’s hard to ignore what the other is feeling. I know he’s scared for me but to be honest.. I worry more of him.” The young man took a deep breath and rose up from the couch. “Better catch the idiot before I get too badly scolded at home.” He offered a small smile at Squall and hurried after his brother leaving the two older men in sudden confused silence.

 

**One week later**

**Cloud**

They were driving, all four of them, to Radiant Garden to meet up with the mysterious Ventus whom Yuffie had managed to dig up from some dusty old papers in an office she had no place to be snooping in. And Roxas had finally swallowed his injured pride and had grudgingly come along after hundreds of pleas from his twin and few stern, but always loving, growls from Squall.

“Tell me again, why am I here and why can’t those two just go by themselves?” Cloud murmured under his breath and looked at Squall who was driving the car and tried to ignore the nervous silence in the back seat.

“Because I need someone to keep me back if the fellow turns out to be an ass and tries to pull any stupid stunts on those two. And because they are legally still underage and being their guardian it’s my duty to be there. Not that it matters much; I’d be there even without the law behind me.” Squall had that grumpy, mad look on his face and Cloud hid his smile by faking a cough. It never ceased to amaze him how much Squall could care for his protégées. It didn’t show much in normal situations but when a crisis rose up Squall turned out to be ferocious parental figure.

They drove the rest of the journey in silence. Sora was pretending to snooze but was obviously awake as Cloud caught more than once the boy staring out of the car window and chewing his lips. Roxas just kept reading his book, though he was reading rather slowly since Cloud hadn’t seen him turning the page more than five times in the past two hours. Well, it was no wonder why the two were so unfocused. He knew he’d be on the edge too had he had a meeting like this coming ahead.

Cloud had been present when Yuffie finally called to Squall and told the whole story about how she had found out about the missing brother. She’s been poking her nose around the past year without telling anyone but Tifa, apparently Yuffie was the one who had found Squalls sister too, and had eventually stumbled across the place where the twins had originally been taken into custody. And from there Yuffie had tried to track down the mother but instead there was nothing else but a death certificate to see. But from that she found also the living descendant; Ventus. A 25year-old man living in Radiant Garden without the knowledge he had two younger brothers alive.

How one was able to dig out so much information just by following a name was amazing. Cloud pondered if he had any relatives he didn’t know about but scoffed the idea off quickly. His mother had died when he had been young and his father before Cloud had even been born. So the idea was absurd and he had no real interest in family. He had all the loved ones he needed already, thank you.

Squall parked the car in the town center but didn’t get up. He squeezed the wheel gritting his teeth so hard they all could hear it.

“You two.” Squall finally said with surprisingly calm voice and turned to look at the twins who were still abnormally quiet. “I’m going to be there the whole time. Don’t worry and if things start to go wrong I’ll just beat the asshole into pulp.” Sora seemed to stir from his stupor at this.

“Squall come on… He sounded really nice. Please don’t make that face in front of him or he’s sure to run away the moment he realizes you are with us.” Sora said with half scared half grateful expression on his face. Squall merely frowned.

The café wasn’t very full when they sat down with their drinks to wait. Cloud wasn’t sure he was even supposed to be here when the meeting would take place and had decided a while ago to slip outside when Ventus would eventually turn up. He was quite sure he wouldn’t manage to drag Squall out that easily but he would try.

The door chimed behind them and Cloud turned to look at the incomers. He could just blink few times and then nudged Squall next to him to turn and also take a look.

In had marched a blond young man who looked so much like Roxas it was clear this was Ventus whom they had been waiting for. The man scanned the café and then spotted them. His eyes were as big and blue as the twins’ eyes were. And now those eyes were sparkling with joy as the man rushed forward smiling from ear to ear reminding Cloud a lot like Sora.

“I’m so sorry I’m a bit late but the traffic, you know.” Ventus grinned rumpling his hair with one hand. It was cut almost identically like Roxas’ but was slightly flatter and shorter. “I’m Ven and you are most likely Sora and Roxas, right? So happy to finally be able to meet you.” He seemed to remember something and turned around. “I almost forgot. This is my husband. Vanitas. Vani for short. He wanted to meet you too so I dragged him along.” The exited young man blabbered on smiling sweetly at them.

Only now did Cloud notice the man standing right next to Ven. He was… how to put it. Dark. Jet black hair stood in every direction it possibly could. There was no smile on Vani’s lips as he observed the crowd before him. His eyes were the palest brown Cloud had ever seen, like they were almost amber. If Squall had the air of silent I’ll-kick-your-ass and grumpiness Vanitas had the air of silent danger clinging to him.

Cloud stood up and offered his hand to Ven.

“Cloud. This is Sora and Roxas’ guardian Squall. We’re gonna leave you three alone for a while, ok? I don’t think your husband would mind coming with us so you guys can catch up first in peace.” Cloud looked at Vanitas who merely nodded and simply turned on his heels and headed out.

“Oh, thanks.” Ven looked baffled but pleased and sat down opposite the still silent twins. Cloud grabbed Squalls shoulder tightly forcing him to get up and out with him. It was a small miracle Cloud even managed that. He had half expected Squall to jump on either Cloud or Ventus and go berserk with suppressed rage. But the brunet came along rather tamely for once, which Cloud appreciated.

The bell chimed happily as the café door closed behind the three men and they halted to stand just outside the window as to see how things were progressing inside. Cloud was watching Vanitas’ face as the man stared inside his eyes glowing in the midday sun. Then as suddenly as he had turned on his heels the dark haired man turned his glare onto the silent pair next to him.

“Boyfriends?” A low voice that was barely audible in the noise of the traffic surrounding them. Cloud felt his ears burning slightly. It still made his embarrassed when he needed to admit he and Squall were actually dating. Never the less he nodded. “Figured.” Vanitas just shrugged his thin shoulders. Cloud could feel Squall tensing up next to him.

“How long have you been married?” Cloud asked before Squall could start voicing some unpleasantness. Stupid thing to ask but his brain didn’t really come up with anything cleverer at the moment. Vanitas tilted his head and seemed to be counting a while.

“Four years now. Had to tie him down, someone would’ve taken him otherwise.” A sheepish grin flashed on Vans lips but was gone the second it appeared. “Which one of you was the guardian?”

“Me.” Squall growled. Cloud sighed inwardly. He was pretty sure Squall wasn’t too happy about being dragged out and most definitely didn’t approve of this tall young man who looked like he was nothing short of being vain, self centered and foul mouthed. In other words; everything Squall was himself. Except being vain. “Ventus never had inkling he had siblings? How did he react to the news?” Squall asked. Well, Squall had never been the one to beat around the bushes so straight to the point. Cloud rolled his eyes and crossed his arms before him.

“No, I don’t think he had. You know nothing about his parents, right?” Cloud and Squall both shook their heads. Vanitas sighed and scratched his neck. “Ven never knew his father, kind of the disappearing type, you know. One of those assholes that dip their dick and fist into a woman who can say no just because they think they can change the guy just by being a punching bag.” Vanitas’ face darkened slightly. “The mother was indeed a piece of biggest idiocy I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Oh, yes. I’ve met her.” He answered to the amazed looks on Squall and Clouds faces. “She wasn’t the parental type much so Ven was placed into custody at young age. She disappeared after Ven and I got into same foster home together. Not that it was very great either. The shit who housed us wasn’t very heartwarming one either…”

“You both grew up in foster home? So you have no parents either?” Cloud was amazed. How easily people just made kids and then end up ditching them like they were disposable trash. Anger rose in him suddenly.

“Nothing too dramatic, I assure you.” Vanitas replied with nonchalant shrug of a shoulder. “Being a brat to people who gave you your life does tend to make you either a git or a lovable dimwit like Ven. So, to answer the rest of question; the mother disappeared when we were about 7 years old and never heard about her since. So yeah, Ven was pretty shocked to find out he has younger brothers. But as I say, he’s the lovable idiot so of course he’s just thrilled.” Vanitas didn’t look too happy himself but as far as Cloud could read people the man didn’t seem to hate the twins for stealing Ventus away for a while. “What’s the story from your part?”

“Got the boys to myself about ten years ago when they I found them playing with my cat covered in mud and dirt, having no shoes even when it was already fall and dressed in just t-shirts and shorts.” Squalls face was reflecting storm clouds as he recounted the past that still made the man furious. “Wished the bureaucrats a good trip to hell and kicked them out of my house right after telling them I’d be taking the boys in. They were 8 years old and had no home and no one to care for them. They kept running away from orphanages which didn’t want them in the first place and in the end the officials had given up.” Squall crossed his arm on his chest and furrowed his brow. “It wasn’t very easy as I don’t like kids that much but it pissed me off to see people neglecting innocent children like that.”

“Guess they hit the jackpot when they strayed across your path then. There aren’t many people who’d do that to strangers.” Vanitas looked more impressed now and was scanning Squall with his amber eyes.

“So uh.. Vanitas. What do you and Ven do for living?” Cloud asked trying to push the conversation onto more lighter subjects.

“Oh, us? I’m a designer and Ven runs a bakery up in the town. The guy has such a sweet tooth it’s a miracle he isn’t fat.” Vanitas cracked a grin which made him look more mad than human.

“What do you design?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Vanitas half smiled at Cloud. “Clothes, of course.” He gestured at his attire. Cloud hadn’t really paid much attention to what the other was wearing, he rarely did. But now that he did it became obvious that the clothes weren’t the typical local market stuff. Vani’s shirt was a mixture of grey and black with strange patterns. His jeans were slightly baggy but torn from random places. Heavy black boots and on top of it all was intricate black jacket. Of course, it all suited the slim man very well and it seemed that Vanitas knew it full well.

“Doing well, I guess?” Cloud asked.

“I can manage. But I help out at the bakery every so often so Ven doesn’t feel like he’s the only bread winner in the family.” He glanced at the café window. Inside they could all see the brothers talking, Sora being the one waving his hands and being himself as usual. “Things seem to be progressing fine.” Vanitas said surprisingly softly. Cloud glanced at Squall whose face was unreadable but seemed a little less tense. He inched closer to stand right next to Squall. The man had lowered his hands again to his sides and Cloud found Squalls fingers easily, squeezing them slightly. He felt the responding squeeze in return and felt his heart thump a little faster.

The talk between them trailed into daily things as they waited for the reunited siblings to finish up. Squall told about their past and daily things, Cloud adding some in between and Vanitas in return told them how he and Ventus had ended up getting together and in the end, married. To the outsider Vanitas seemed arrogant and unpleasant but as the young man opened his mouth it was obvious it was only surface. Cloud could identify with that and so, he knew, could Squall. They were both misunderstood almost always just because they didn’t have the habit of welcoming everyone to pry in on their private matters. That job was left to Sora and it seemed, Ventus as well.

According to Vanitas, Ventus was a heartwarming person who could not believe there was anything wrong with people around him. Even though he had had an unpleasant childhood Ventus was still openhearted and cheerful to most people even if the unhappy life he had lived so far had left Ventus prone to depression from time to time. Also, Vanitas and Cloud found a common interest in motorcycles as it turned out Vanitas owned one himself.

They sat down in the shade of the tree outside the café, waiting. Cloud had fallen silent at some point, exhausting his ability to socialize much more in one day and was half heartedly listening the two next to him talking calmly about the current economic situation. Squall had previously quit his café working and had reduced the times he was working at the club too as he was demanded more to handle the stuff at their own firm. Cloud still felt weird saying it was their firm now, even if Tifa had been gone for months now.

The café door chimed and Cloud saw Roxas emerging from the door Sora in his tail. Ventus had lingered behind, probably to pay and the twins walked slowly towards the three sitting on the bench. Squall got up and looked down at the boys frowning.

“You ok?” Squall asked as the two halted before him.

“Yeah.” Surprisingly enough, it was Roxas who answered. Cloud knew Roxas had not been that keen on meeting their long lost brother but all the worry seemed to have disappeared from the young face and he offered Squall a small rare smile.

“More than fine.” Sora echoed his brother and smiled widely. “Heard some pretty interesting stuff about how two guys can have fun!” Cloud heard Squall choking and glanced at Vanitas who was listening next to Cloud. Vanitas just smiled widely and ruffled his already messy black hair.

“Well, I make a decent lover, I dare say.” Vanitas grinned and Cloud felt his ears burning. He wasn’t a complete novice when it came to gay sex, he had a boyfriend after all, but it wasn’t a subject he was about to go talking in public. “Have you been talking about our love life again, my dearest?” Vanitas said louder as Ventus had appeared from the door and was walking towards them.

“Ohh, I might have.” Ven smiled widely. “But it’s no wonder I do. Vani is really.. mm, how should I say it. Passionate. Extremely so.” He winked and laughed at the looks on both Cloud and Squalls faces. “I see they really are as stiff as you told me.” He held his hand to Squall who was having problem keeping his face neutral but in the end managed to shake hands with Ven. “I hope I’m not too much of a disappointment to you. I really want to thank you for looking after my brothers. And obviously loving them too. Something I should’ve been doing but… Shitty life, yeah?” He smiled disarmingly at Squall who nodded.

“Shit happens.” Squall mumbled as Ven turned to look at the twins again.

“I hope you will keep in touch. I can’t bear to think we’d never see again.” Ven smiled. Sora looked like he was about start bawling but ended up only hugging his big brother tightly. Roxas was shaking his head and sighed.

“Sora. Are you a complete idiot? Of course we are going to keep in touch, so stop acting like you’re still a kid.” Roxas snorted but gave Ventus a half smile. “We have your email, phone number and home address. And you have ours. Impossible not to hear something at some point.” Sora seemed to sniffle into Vens shirt.

“There there Sora.” Ventus smiled and hugged the clinging boy tighter and closer to his chest ruffling the brown hair. “You are so adorable I could never forget you!”

After that Sora took a deep breath and withdrew from Vens arms, smiling even if a bit tearfully, still quite widely. Vanitas stood up and walked to Ven and took his hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it lightly.

“Anything precious to Ven is fine with me. But we should get going or we’ll get our family jewels tied into knot. I doubt that Aqua can keep the shop open alone much longer in her condition.” Vani grinned.

“Oh, shoot. I did forget that.” Ventus made a suffering face but smiled in the end. “Tough life, being self-employed.”

They all shook hands once more and the twins hugged their brother for the last time before they parted ways. Cloud walked in silence next to Squall who seemed be spacing out. When he almost walked to a lamppost Cloud took Squalls hand and guided him around the pole.

“Earth to Squall.” Cloud waved his free hand before Squalls eyes. “Should I perhaps drive back, hm? Or should we leave you in charge and find ourselves in the gutter in the end?” Cloud asked cocking one eyebrow. Squall shook his head as if to shake off some thoughts and to clear his head. He squeezed Clouds hand in his and gave a half assed smile.

“Very funny, asshole.” Squall snorted. “You drive. I’m way too tired to focus on that stuff right now.” A moment of silence before he continued. “You don’t think I should’ve let the kids go back in the past. You know, to be placed in some real home with two parents. Maybe they could’ve found Ven earlier or something if they’d stayed in the system.” Squall looked troubled and chewed his lower lip.

“Squall.” Cloud said and halted, stopping them both in the middle of the street. “You know it was the best solution. Those two got much more from you than they could’ve gotten from pampering foster parents. It might’ve not been all dancing on roses but it’s the reality. I doubt Sora and Roxas are complaining how you have stood by next to them in everything after you took them in.” Cloud looked straight into Squalls eyes.

“Yeah…” Squall finally sighed and gave a small smile. He tugged Cloud along with him and they followed in the twins’ wake towards the car in silence. Before they got there Squall stopped and turned to Cloud one more time. He glanced quickly around to see if anyone was watching then leaned closer and gave Cloud a quick, soft kiss on his lips and smiled. “Glad to have you with me. To kick me in the head if I start thinking too much.” Cloud merely chuckled.


	25. Chapter 25

**Cloud**

They were sitting in the kitchen in comfortable silence. Cloud was staring out of the window and Squall was reading a newspaper and finishing his supper. The outside world was turning dark as the first flurries of snow blew down the streets. Cloud was musing, finding himself looking back at the time they had been living together now. Officially they had lived only for a year but if you added up the time Cloud had spent there before the accident and getting together it was over two years by now. It hadn’t been the rosiest path and at times tensions ran high but they managed it all somehow. Their working hours sometimes made their timetables collide but they tried to make up for the missing each other by trying to keep up the habit of eating at least once a day together.

Life was mostly comfortable, easy and they enjoyed the love between them. There were times when they fought, of course. More than once one of them had left the apartment, banging the doors shut on their way. But it was part of normal life, and neither of them was idiot enough to complain too much.

Sometimes Cloud wondered if this was in the end enough to keep Squall by his side. After some serious consideration they had decided to sell the delivery company and move out of the town after Cloud would get his diploma as a certified martial arts teacher. He had entered the school on a whim but it had turned out to be one of the turning points in his life. The wanted diploma in question was actually on his desk right at this moment. He had refused to go to the ceremony to accept the paper along with the few other people who had attended the course and had wiggled his ass out of it by simply flirting with the headmaster who ran the school. He had let him get the diploma without any fuss. This particular thing Cloud had left unsaid to Squall and friends; he wasn’t much in for celebrating such a simple thing.

Cloud shot a sideways glance at his companion. Squall had earlier came home with unexpectedly short hair and it still made no sense to Cloud as to why Squall had cut it. The brown locks were his favourite play thing when he couldn’t get sleep at night and Squall was so conveniently sleeping soundly next to him. But Cloud didn’t complain. Squall was handsome no matter the length of his hair. Well, to Cloud Squall was the perfection materialized. The only exception in his life to whom for he would anything. He just hoped he had conveyed his feelings of love enough openly to Squall to know this.

There were few things gnawing at Clouds mind and he was unable to settle down before he had sorted them thru. One was that he would have to tell Squall that the likely buyer of their company had indeed sealed the deal earlier today and he and Squall only had to sign the papers and they would be free. Cloud was really bad at remembering to mention these crucial things sometimes and Squall had more than once lost his temper with him because of it. But it was the other matter in his mind that had made Cloud forgot the deal signing completely. He fidgeted on his chair and sighed enough loud to Squall hear him.

“What’s the matter?” Squall asked quietly, monotonously, not even lifting his head from the paper he was reading. Cloud smiled lightly. Of course Squall would notice his discomfort even if he didn’t show it. According to Squall Cloud was like an open book, easy to read from the simplest things. Cloud swallowed, steadying his breathing trying to focus and say things in the right order. His heart was hammering so loud he could almost hear it. This really was terribly bad, bad idea..

“We got the deal.” Cloud managed to say after a moment of gathering his thoughts. “It's ready to be signed.”

“What! When did you hear about this?” Squall exclaimed and blinked, the newspaper falling to the table and the brunet attached his eyes to Cloud who unwillingly flushed slightly. He felt embarrassed he had forgotten to tell this and Squall glaring at him didn’t make it any easier.

“This morning…” Cloud mumbled.

“Oh for crying out loud, Cloud! I have told you a million times to let me know of these things at once.” Squall ran his finger thru his shortened hair. It was the perfect length that hung over his face half way down and was short from the back. And it made Squall look younger than he was.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just…” Cloud’s voice trailed off and he sat there staring at the table surface.

“You just forgot. Yeah. That’s what you do, don’t you. When it’s something big. It just happens to slip from your mind.” Squall grumbled and picked up his paper again, sulking. “Just give me the papers and I’ll sign them so we can finally be free from it.”

The silence spread over them again, slightly uneasy this time. Cloud stood up and picked up the plate Squall had emptied and walked to the sink. He stood there a while, his heart pounding mercilessly in his chest, evidently trying to cause him a cardiac arrest and kill him. He felt like choking. His whole body was tingling and his breath was caught up in his throat. He turned and eyed his friend. His lover. His partner. He knew he was being selfish sometimes but he wanted nothing more than to keep Squall right here, next to him. Cloud walked back to the table and slammed his fist on the table startling Squall and almost made him drop the paper again.

“What the hell Cloud?” Squall frowned at him.

Cloud said nothing but removed his open fist from the leather small box he had hid in his hand when he hit the table surface. Squall was staring at it silently, the paper in his hands slowly starting to fall to the floor as the grip of his fingers loosened.

Cloud flicked the lid of the box open with one move and pushed the item towards Squall.

“Marry me.” Cloud said his voice trembling and low and he flushed. His heart was hammering so hard now he could hear it in his head. Squall was gaping at the golden ring resting in the box and still didn’t say anything to Cloud.

“I know I’m being selfish here when I know you want to move off from Midgar and start over your working career.” Cloud stared straight into Squalls eyes now. Squall had made that decision after Sora and Roxas had moved closer to Ventus and Axel was planning on selling his club too. “I know I’m a hindrance at the moment, with no prospects of a new job or anything and I can’t stand the idea of losing you to someone if you go before I can leave here. So marry me. That way I’ll have you with me always. Forever.” Cloud was feeling rather stupid as he was just rambling and stuttering the words he had planned on saying but they seemed to come out somehow more pathetic than he had anticipated and Squall was looking like a fucking retard with his mouth slightly open and eyes wide. “Say something!” Cloud finally snapped his nerves tight as violin strings.

“Cloud..” Squall finally whispered getting on his feet and taking a hold of Clouds hand that had pushed the ring on the table. “I had no idea you thought I was going to move without you.” Squall let Clouds hand go and picked up the box and took the ring out of it and handed it back to Cloud. Cloud felt his heart stopping. Was Squall saying no? Refusing to accept his proposal? Suddenly he felt cold and everything was hazy and unfocused, cold sweat making his shiver.

“You don’t want to…” Cloud exhaled his words with a sinking feeling and stared down at the simple frame of the golden ring.

“No, you idiot.” Squall smiled softly and took Clouds hand back to his. “You should be the one to put it on me, not me.” Cloud felt the floor disappearing under him as the words sank to his mind. “I’m saying yes, you lovable, agonizingly slow moron.” Squall had his left hand raised between them and with trembling fingers Cloud managed to slip the ring to its rightful place. He let out a soft whimper.

“I thought…” Cloud whispered with dry lips and looked up to his now soon to be husbands eyes.

“You thought I didn’t want to? Stupid. Like I could leave you behind or not accept a proposal like that. Imagine that, a ring slammed to your face. Who could resist that?” Squall grinned but with no real mockery. Cloud laughed and wrapped his arms around Squalls shoulders.

“Yeah, well. But I’m your stupid idiot. Until the end of time.” He leaned closer to Squalls face hovering just over the lips. He felt the laughter Squall let out as a breath of air more than he heard it.

“Yeah. Until the end.” Squall closed the empty air still between their lips and sealed it with a soft kiss wrapping his arms around Clouds waist and pulling their bodies together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short one but one of my favourites. This just.. makes my head go gaga.


	26. Chapter 26

**Cloud**

The magistrate building wasn’t the most elegant, quiet or best suited for the occasion today but the weather was nice and they would have a quiet dinner after this with the three people they had taken with them to be as both witnesses and as their only guests. The pair of them tried to be all cool about the situation but kept fidgeting time to time from sheer nervousness, both grimacing at the lack of freedom of movement because of the formal suits they wore. But.. it was just for today. Maybe some other day in future if there ever would be need to wear a formal suit Cloud would feel less awkward in all white. He didn’t mind wearing the suit as it seemed to turn Squall into a horny teenager..This morning when Cloud had been dressing up Squall had seen him in the middle of the process and not being able to resist his boyfriend half naked appearance and the white pair of suit pants unbuttoned on, had managed to turn the putting clothes on into taking them off and into a morning fuck. Of course.

What a douche.. Cloud smiled to himself. He was picking on his sleeve again his fingers fidgety and nervous. A hand glad in black lace glove stopped him in the middle of it and Cloud looked up to meet a pair of brown eyes.

“It’s going to be fine. Don’t frown so much, you’ll get wrinkles.” Tifa sat next to Cloud dressed in a pretty black dress and her hair up in a loose bun that made her look even younger. She patted his fingers. Ever the saint, she was. Cloud offered her a small smile before sighing.

“I know. I’m just.. I..” Cloud grimaced. He didn’t want to fuck up anything today. “It’s a huge thing and I don’t want to mess it up.” He breathed out finally. It felt good to confess his worries out loud.

“Seriously. It’s going to take about 5minutes and then you’ll be waving your freedom goodbye for good. How on earth could you mess anything up in 5minutes?” She cocked one fine eyebrow at him.

“You’d be surprised what I’m capable of doing in a short amount of time..” Cloud muttered and hung his head low closing his eyes. His blond hair kept falling over his eyes but even with his best efforts to control the uncontrollable Cloud had given up. He didn’t want to resort to hairpins or cut it too much so it had been left the way it usually was; spiky.

“Tsk, don’t I know that.” Tifa clucked her tongue at him then slapped Cloud none too gently in the back. “Woman up, Cloud. You’ll be fine.” She smiled at him the smile that always made Cloud feel like he must’ve done something good at some point in his life because he had a friend like Tifa. He smiled back at her and straightened his back, inhaling deeply.

“Yeah.” Cloud breathed out and tried to relax his body and mind. He let his thoughts go back in time to marvel at the changes in their lives and to forget the unnerving waiting in the present time.

This particular day had been chosen rather carefully. They had just moved to Twilight town after a long and hard search of a house to buy, which they had eventually found and bought. And by now the house was furnished and boxes unpacked and life was starting to look better with every passing day. So, they had decided to take the last step and legalize their relationship as a kind of a mile stone for having a bright future ahead of them now. A short talk later they had end up inviting only Tifa to be there for Cloud and the twins for Squall, because a big fat wedding would’ve been a total fiasco for people like the of them were. It had been enough to attend the Irvine and Selphie’s gigantic party.

Both he and Squall had started at their new respective jobs. After they had signed the deal to sell off the company both of them had started to hunt down new jobs. In the end a sudden stroke of luck had landed him with the perfect job in the world; a teacher at a local martial arts center in Twilight Town where Squall had already been looking up the jobs. He had gotten the tip off from Barret who apparently knew all the right people and thus Cloud had end up spending his days teaching people how to hurt each other. In a safe kind of way. Of course it wasn’t enough so Cloud had a decided to extend his recently acquired degree at teaching and had decided to take the program to certify him as a personal trainer and a physiotherapist.

Squall on the other hand had, after some snooping around, wiggled his way up to some high ranking IT-company. Not all that surprising as the man was a wizard with shit like that anyway. He knew someone somewhere who had managed to slip a possible opening in the company. Being the straightforward person as Squall was he had called up the person in charge, managed to get an interview and naturally landed the job.

Cloud smiled at his thoughts. It was really rather unbelievable how smoothly the change in their life had happened. One moment they were living in that dodgy apartment on the edges of Midgar, fresh in their friendship and pudding love, the next they had bought a house, moved and were insanely happy together. And now this.

Their wedding day had arrived.

Cloud swallowed as the familiar anxiety tried to rise up inside him. Was it really a good idea? Would he be able to cope with this kind of commitment to just one person for the rest of his life and be content thru the years to come? The answer came to him without any hesitance; Yes. There was no other option for him. This was the thing that made his days full of happiness and contentment. Along with all the bickering, fighting and annoying each other out like hell. It was all part of the picture.

A door creaked open and Squall stepped into the hallway the twins trailing behind him. Cloud felt his breath caught up in his throat as he looked at Squall walking towards him, his eyes shining in anticipation and happiness. He looked so good Cloud wanted to rip off the black suit and fuck him senseless against the wall. A formal black suit with white collar shirt and black tie along with shiny black dress shoes and the brown hair neatly cut and brushed. Cloud felt his mouth water dangerously and averted his eyes before his staring would betray his naughty trail of thoughts.

“You’re looking so sexy in that outfit I want to make you cry right now, right here..” Squall bent down to whisper hoarsely in Clouds ear and quickly licked the blonds’ earlobe. Cloud shivered and felt his resolve wavering rapidly. He tried to too keep his cool and turned his head enough to breathe warm air to Squalls neck.

“I did say I would wear all white when I’d get married. Your fault getting all too excited about it. Like this morning already proved.” Cloud hissed and nipped Squalls neck with his teeth. Too bad there were other people with them and all they could do was to rile each other up.

“Alright you two, knock it off. It’s still few hours before you can go home to give in to your carnal desires as spouses.” Roxas cut in to end the banter between the husbands to be with an amused sort of grin on his face. Sora was sniggering next to him, swaying on his heels and looking like he would explode soon with some happy emotion he carried inside him. Both of them looked unusually clean in their white collar shirts and black jeans. Squall had pointed at the twins how it would be nice if the two of them would actually clean up for once in their life.

Before Sora could burst out from happiness the closed door they were sitting near opened and the judge came out smiling. She was a middle aged woman with wavy black hair and narrow eyeglasses placed over her pointed nose.

“We are ready for you now.” She said, looking down at the suddenly very pale fiancées. “If you’d be so kind to enter.” She returned inside and Cloud got up grabbing Squalls hand in his and squeezing it tightly. He looked at Squall, his breath caught again somewhere in his throat and his mind suddenly quite blank. This all felt so surreal and he wanted to laugh to make it all normal again.

“I’m here.” Squall muttered, squeezing Clouds hand back and together they walked inside the small room and stopped before the table where lay open a heavy book with a couple of candles on both sides of it and a small vase of blue flowers. Tifa and the twins followed and the door clicked behind them, locking them inside. Both Cloud and Squall inhaled deeply and steeled themselves. The judge smiled again and then took the open book in her hands.

”The purpose of marriage is establishing a family for the greater good of those involved and for the longevity of society.” She started, looking at Cloud and Squall in turn. “Marriage is meant to be permanent, so that family members could create a happy home together.” Cloud felt his entire body trembling and his palms sweating. Squall stood next to him silent, steady and reliable. His heart nearly exploded with all the love he felt at that very moment for his partner."In front of these witnesses I ask you Cloud Strife; Do you want to take Squall Leonhart as you lawfully wedded husband, to love him in sickness and in health?” Time seemed to stop as Cloud felt a wave of nausea course thru him and he looked at Squalls eyes that were gazing at him. He swallowed hard.

“I do.” Cloud managed to say without sounding all that nervous he felt.

“And do you, Squall Leonhart, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband and to love him in sickness and in health?” Cloud gazed deeper into the blue eyes, the love shining in them visible and felt his poor heart skipping more than one or two beats. He was so nervous and stressed he almost laughed but managed to keep his face steady even if the trembling of his hands gave him away.

“I do.” Squall squeezed Clouds hand in his and smiled faintly, a small trembling in that gesture betraying his similar condition to Cloud who felt enormously happy he wasn’t the only one to feel like the world had gone mad around him suddenly.

“After saying yes to these questions I pronounce you husbands and life partners. You have now been wed in the bonds on matrimony. As spouses you are equal. In your marriage show love for each other and mutual respect and act for the greater good for your family.” Then she smiled softly and closed the book she was holding in her hands. “You can now kiss.” And she winked. Cloud almost flushed bright red but didn’t have time for that when he felt the oh, so familiar hands reaching to cup his face and the softest, the most careful kiss placed upon his lips as Squall leaned closer to him.

“I love you.” Squall mouthed his lips still in touching range from Clouds lips. Cloud was unable to say or to do much else than to hug his husband and nearly cry from the happiness swelling inside him. After a while they smiled in unison and then turned to their friends hand in hand both beaming radiantly.

 

**Squall**

“See, you didn’t fuck up at all!” Tifa was whacking Cloud on his back and wiping her own tears at the same time. She had started to squeal the moment they had stepped out of the magistrate and had flung her arms around both Cloud and Squall exclaiming them to be the cutest couple ever in the history of weddings. Ever. Squall grimaced and silently was grateful they had agreed on a small celebration at their house after the ceremony was over.

Roxas was driving the car and Sora was sitting next to him in front, leaving the rest of the three to squeeze in the back. It felt a bit unnatural to see either of the twins doing something as mature as to drive a car but Squall was a bit too high on his happy cloud, the pun intended, to care. Cloud was quiet and still held Squalls hand in his, the thumb caressing his skin probably without even thinking. Squall took few deep breaths and turned his attention out of the window.

He liked the new neighborhood they had moved in. The house was large, single building with too many rooms for the two of them to occupy but it had that potential of being the last house they’d ever have to live in. If they decided to make their family grow there would be more than enough room for smaller feet to go about. Squall hesitated at that thought. The question had not been raised but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t say no to kids, not what he had been thru with raising the twins. Of course it had been a thorny path but this time he was older, wiser and he wasn’t alone. Squall was sure Cloud would be excellent father one day. But, they had time. And in their case it would take some serious planning and paperwork anyway.

Roxas pulled the car on the driveway and Squall halfheartedly noted the street to be rather full of cars than it usually was. A party at some house, most likely. It was early summer anyway and people usually celebrated on sunny days like these. He just wanted to drink the coffees, cut the cake, idle for a while (kick the guests out) and then to rip off the white suit Cloud was wearing and get down to making disgustingly sweet love to his husband.

Squall wished the visiting to be over as soon as possible and paid very little attention to Sora babbling on about something to Cloud and leading the small group towards the front door. It was too late to run away after the door had opened and Squall felt his heart jumping out of his poor chest as there was a spectacular roar of greeting them as they stepped inside. From somewhere a burst of confetti flew over them.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” A mass of people were standing the brightly lit hallway and Squall blinked in utter astonishment at the familiar faces he now saw coming at him and hugging him, telling him how happy they were, how good he and Cloud looked and how marvelous the house was and would there be any kids in the near future. They were all there; his friends and family. Ellone was squeezing him tightly with her little twin girls holding the arms of their father who was smiling fondly. There was Axel and Reno. Cid. Yuffie. Some slim dark haired guy who looked vaguely familiar to him. Riku had turned up also. Irvine and Selphie. Zell. A massive dark fellow whom Squall recognized as Barret. A tiny frail girl next to the big man had to be Marlene. Ventus and Vanitas appeared from direction of the kitchens.

Squall was only able to gawk at this point and glancing at Cloud he saw the blond standing there as nonplussed and confused as he was.

“Surprise!” Sora came to hug Squall and smooched him on the cheek just to be an ass. “I know you said you wanted it to be just us and Tifa, but c’mon guys. You two getting hitched is pretty much the biggest thing happening so who could possibly want to miss celebrating it!” He lowered his cheery voice only a notch. “So you gotta keep it in your pants a bit longer and let us be happy for you..” Sora grinned wickedly and wiggled his eyebrows before fleeing from their vicinity just to be on the safe side if Cloud and Squall decided to get violent.

The newlyweds glanced at each other, took a deep steadying breaths and turned to their waiting guests. They would endure the love their closest ones wanted to shower them with and then they would get down to being happy and content together.


	27. Epiloque

**Squall**

They sat together in the brightly lit corridor waiting for the officials to call their names and to get on with all the signing of papers and to do away with the routines they were required to go thru. The building was quite uninviting. Even in the sunlight it was dull and devoid of happy things. It was just another place where people worked for the benefit of other people. In this case it was the adoption office. Last time, when Squall had been in this kind of office it had been in another town and so damn long ago. And he had not gone thru many official meetings, in fact; none. He had just yelled at the social service people and kicked them out. He had received papers to sign in the mail and that had been the end of the whole thing of defining who was suited to take care of the twins. Boy had he been mad back then. It was a wonder no one ever had pressed him with charges as he had been just a little violent towards the agency people.

Very different compared to what it had been for him and Cloud doing this together. They had started the whole thing on an impulse after Squall had one fateful day blurted something like the house being too big for just the two of them and he might want to have some tiny feet running around the floors. Cloud had halfheartedly suggested taking in a cat or a dog but Squall point blank refused. He hated dogs and had no patience with cats or with anything smaller from that. Then one day Cloud had come home after work and given Squall a pile of papers to read about being a foster family to kids who went thru difficult time.

It was a bit shameful Squall had not thought about this himself. He had played a foster father for Sora and Roxas for so long he’d forgotten they weren’t really related to him and the whole thing had started in that rather unpleasant atmosphere. So, he and Cloud had signed up for the process and after some time they had been called in and asked if they would like to take in one girl. Now they were here to meet the girl for the first time and to see if things would go well. If so, they could have her home with them in less than a weeks’ time.

The whole process had been slightly unnerving. Squall didn’t like to have strangers in their house digging up the possible dirt about them. Not that there had been anything to find, naturally. Cloud had been incredibly calm thru the whole thing which was saying a lot since usually it was other way around. Calmness came with age, Squall mused to himself and glanced at Cloud who sat next to him, head slightly tilted to the side, chin down and hidden in the turtleneck of his shirt and eyes closed. Squall felt his heart swell with happiness as he watched his dozing husband. What amazing stroke of luck he had had to end up loving someone like Cloud was. He really should thank Reno one day properly.

“Leonhart and Strife?” A woman called and peered out of one door left to them. Cloud immediately jerked his head up and blinked to shake off the sleepiness from his eyes. Squall stood up with him and they let go of the tight grip they had had of each others’ hands while sitting there waiting. “Welcome back. Please, take a seat and we’ll get on.” She walked behind her desk and sat down indicating the pair of them to sit down before her.

“Is everything alright?” Cloud asked after they had sat down facing the woman.

“Well, yes. There is just one thing we should ask you before we go ahead to the meeting.” The woman, her name was Iris, took out a file and opened it glancing thru it quickly. “Before you meet with her would you say you’d be ok to take in two girls at the same time?” She looked over her spectacles at the two of them. Squall frowned.

“I thought you said there was only one?” Squall said furrowing his brow.

“Unfortunately I forgot about her sister. Oh, please don’t be too angry about this. The thing is she is three years older than her sister, whom you’d be taking in, and doesn’t live in the orphanage much of the time as she attends a boarding school and is required to live there.” Iris smiled in a way that reminded Squall of a person who was good at heart but was too damn unconfident to do things properly at the first try. He sighed.

“Well, it is stated in our application we’re not against taking in more than one kid.” Cloud got ahead of Squall and spoke quietly next to him.

“Oh, yes, that is correct. Now, the younger sister is already 13years old so her sister is 16. In few years she’ll be at legal age and can decide what she wants to do by herself.” Iris closed the file in her hands and took a deep breath. “Now, if you’re ready we’ll go see them both.” She got up and waited for Squall and Cloud to get up on their feet too. She lead them out of the room back to the corridor where they had been waiting and walked ahead not waiting to see if they really were ready to see the girls so suddenly.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Squall muttered to Cloud and placed one hand on Clouds shoulder causing him to stop and to look at Squall. “It’s not like they are in any peachy age, are they. Well, 13 I can handle but 16 is a lot more hassle than you’d want to have in your hands.” Squall was sure Cloud had second thoughts about this when he shook his head.

“I’m sure we’ll be fine. I don’t care about the age. Besides, you managed fine with Sora and Roxas. Stop worrying and let’s just meet them.” Cloud reached for the hand resting on his shoulder and squeezed it tight. Without letting go he walked Squall behind him forward. Squall was amazed. He had had no idea how mature Cloud could be in this situation.

Iris was holding a door open when they reached her and stepping inside Squall unwillingly let go of Clouds hand. He didn’t know whether or not the kids would disapprove their new guardians being openly gay. It would be easier to meet the newcomers without shoving the rainbow factor up their noses at once.

The room they all entered was quite plain, few uninteresting paintings on typical grayish white walls. Small low brown table in the middle of the three brown couches and on one of those sat two girls. One was lean, thin and boyish and had hard expression on her face and the other was smaller, even thinner than the other and had big blue eyes staring straight at Cloud and Squall behind a stuffed animal she held in her tight clutches. Both of the girls had pale pink hair, insanely pretty features and long, extremely thin arms and legs. So very unfed… Squall sighed.

“This is Claire and this is Serah.” Iris had moved behind the couch the sisters were sitting and pointed first at the taller girl and then the other. Claire had mistrust written all over her eyes as she scrutinized them. “Girls, these gentlemen are Squall and Cloud. They are your new foster parents.”

“Hello Claire, Serah. I hope we can get along.” Cloud said quietly and sat down opposite of them studying the two in silence. Squall echoed him and sat down too next to Cloud. Claire seemed to have shut down completely and Serah seemed a bit confused, her eyes bouncing between him and Cloud.

“There is no mommy in the house?” Serah finally piped up. She was holding the big plush toy to her chest like a lifesaver and peered over its huge head.

“No. There is no mommy in our house. I’m sorry about that. If you don’t want to come to our place because of that I’m sure…” Clouds words were cut in the middle when Serah seemed to gather more courage and spoke again.

“It’s ok. I don’t need a mommy anyway.” She spoke with that ultimate confidence which only kids of certain age and mentality seemed have. Her face came visible and she smiled at Cloud and Squall such a disarming smile Squall thought it was a different kid sitting there. “I like you already. When can I go there, Iris?” Well, that sure escalated quickly, Squall thought to himself and dared to smile lightly at the girl.

“Well, you are welcome to come whenever they see fit to let you go from here.” Squall said now focusing his eyes on Claire who still stubbornly sat in silence. “But I don’t know if your sister is ok with all this.” Claire moved her pale blue eyes to Squall and glared at him. Such a delicate face. It reminded him of someone but he couldn’t make the connection at the moment.

“Oh, don’t worry about Light. She’s just here to make sure I’m going to be ok in the new home and then she’ll go back to school and shoot people.” Serah explained quite cheerily. Squall tensed at the last words and looked at the woman who fidgeted nervously.

“She means Claire will go back to the military school she attends. They handle weaponry there after they come of age.” Irish hurried to explain. “The Balamb Garden Military School is the one she attends to. It’s just outside the town.” Squall’s tension evaporated almost immediately.

“Really? It’s the same school I went to when I was your age.” Squall was impressed. They didn’t take in just anyone. Claire must have something in her that qualified her to attend the prestigious school. She had narrowed her eyes and seemed to be thinking of something.

“You’re Squall Leonhart.” Claire spoke suddenly. Her voice was calm and low, slightly on the cold side. “The teachers use you as an example sometimes.” She frowned.

“You know, Cloud has military background too.” Squall said to avoid the confusion the recognizing of him had caused to Claire. Her eyes darted straight to Cloud who had flinched when his name had come up.

“Yeaaahh…” Cloud seemed to stretch the word on purpose and ruffled his hair. “Well, I never finished the program. I had a problem with taking orders from authorities back then. Obviously I grew out of that phase.” Cloud smiled at Squall warmly who grinned back to him.

“Don’t believe a word he says. He still won’t obey anyone.” Squall was feeling more relaxed, even if the situation involved people whom he didn’t know well. It was thanks to Cloud who made his being here more than tolerable.

“Iris, when can I move in with my new daddies?” Serah piped the question again suddenly from behind her stuffed animal she had buried her face once again. Iris twitched and blinked her eyes moving rapidly from Squall and Cloud to the pair of girls.

“Oh, darling. I suppose it shouldn’t take long. Maybe tomorrow soonest. But it’s all up to these two gentlemen here. Do they wish to take you home with them?” She turned her head to look at Cloud and Squall properly, the question hanging in the air. At the same time Serahs huge eyes glued to their direction too. Squall looked at his abnormally calm husband and raised questioningly one eyebrow at Cloud. Cloud smiled and nodded, then turned to the waiting ladies in the room.

“We would be delighted to offer you a home to stay in. And to your sister too if she wants to.” Cloud said, smiling softly to Serah who whooped hands in the air and jumped up to her feet excitedly. Claire had not moved a muscle in her porcelain face but seemed a little less tense.

“Fine.” Claire finally said. She stood up and placed her hand on her sisters’ shoulder and looked down at her. “You tell me immediately if you have any troubles with anything. Got it?” Claire seemed to melt when she looked at Serah. Her face softened even more and Squall was sure he saw a hint of a smile on her lips. It made a huge difference on her appearance and definitely not in a bad way. Maybe she wasn’t as bad of an ice queen she pretended to be.

“Yes!” Serah nodded determinedly a serious with a smile on her lips. She obviously adored her big sister who was so calm, caring and protective over her. Squall hid his smile behind his fingers pretending to scratch his chin.

“When are you supposed to go back to campus, Claire?” Squall asked. “If you are allowed to stay for example the whole of tomorrow we all, the four of us, could go picking up something for your new rooms. And either of us can drive you back to school when needed.”

“I need to return today. I got special permission because of our situation.” She moved her steely gaze to the two men sitting across her and the joyous sister of hers and narrowed her eyes. “But I’ll be free soon as the summer vacation starts next month.” Claire stated in a way that sounded almost like threat. Squall raised one eyebrow at her but otherwise kept his cool and looked back at her, determined not to be intimidated by some 16-year-old. Even if she _was_ verging on the scary side this moment.

“Then we’ll be waiting for you.” Squall said seriously with a straight face, hoping with all his might the girl would loosen up at some point or they would have some serious communication problems. But, with Cloud by his side it could be manageable and it wasn’t like either of them didn’t know from experience how to deal with people like Claire was. They both had been almost exactly like she was in the past anyway. It would be a challenge but Squall was sure things wouldn’t go straight to hell the moment they would have their first opinion changes. Cloud looked at him, smiling that faint, soft smile of his and Squall felt his uneasiness subsiding. It would be ok, in the end.

 

**Two months later**

**Cloud**

It was one of those perfect, bright sunny days when the sun was shining, sky was the clearest blue and people seemed smile no matter where you looked. Serah had insisted the whole lot of them to get out of the house now and not hole up in there no matter how nice the house and the yard were. She had pulled that excruciatingly sweet and cute face and pleaded first with Squall, who was weak to her antics and after Squall was agreeing it was no problem to get Cloud going along. And to Serah, her sister was never a problem as Claire did anything she ever asked for.

Thus, Cloud found himself walking down the street with two pink haired girls ahead of him arguing about something and Squall a little way behind him. Cloud turned his head to catch Squall grunting irritated at the phone he was stuffing to his pocket before speeding his steps to catch up with Cloud and the girls. Cloud smiled at his husband and took his hand to his. It had gotten easier as time went by, to do this. To show affection in public. Not that they ever did much more that this, it wasn’t in their nature to fawn over each other publicly.

Squall smiled widely at Cloud and even with the dark sunglasses hiding his eyes Cloud knew the smile reached those blue eyes. He liked seeing Squall like this; dressed in dark shorts, sneakers and a black tank top and the brown hair on a loose ponytail as Squall had finally let his hair grow longer. The brunet seemed relaxed and happy and that made Cloud happier than anything. As mushy and sappy it may be, Cloud didn’t give a rats’ ass as he was satisfied with his current life.

A gush of warm wind rushed past them and Cloud observed the two girls walking ahead them. He smiled at the sight of Serah shamelessly clinging onto her sister pouting about something, who in return did nothing to loosen her tight grip on Claire’s arm or trying to erase the fake pout the smaller one was giving her. Cloud inhaled deeply the scent of warmth and sun, the flowers, the trees.. All the life that was so vibrant around him; he drank it in with deep inhales and closed eyes. Squall intertwined their fingers together and everything seemed to fucking perfect Cloud could’ve barfed over the image.

Serahs’ sudden delighted squeal rang in the air and Clouds’ attention immediately sought the frail girl. Seeing her still clinging onto her sister just a bit further and being in no obvious danger Cloud sighed in relief and pulled Squall with him to join the two. An ice cream trolley seemed have made Serah exited this time.

“Oh, oh oh… Can I please have on, pleeeaaase? Light? Cloud? Squall? Yes? Pretty please” Serah was hopping from one feet to another her eyes latching onto each of them in turn.

“Just one. _If_ you can stop jumping around.” Squall smiled at his small protégée. “I don’t want to wash any stains from this dress, you know.” Cloud shuddered inside from the mere thought to trying to remove chocolate from that pearly white fabric. The responsibility of having two underlings at home meant that they needed to know things like how to remove stains from clothes, fixing broken handbags or how to deal with hormonal instability every three weeks. And they synchronized those too! Cloud shuddered.

“I’ll be good! I will be really good!” Serah exclaimed her eyes wide and full of confidence her guardians didn’t believe she had in her at all. But, she had wrapped the two men around her little finger from the very first days she had been settling down in their home. Serah was the little queen and she ruled with sweet kisses she quite out of nowhere and quite often showered them with.

Cloud was smiling to himself, standing with Claire behind Squall and Serah who took her time choosing a flavor to please her urges today. Amazing how fast he had found his paternal instincts rising. Claire wasn’t much to father about but her sister instead was a handful; cute as she was Serah was sometimes acting like she was still under 10. She could charm anyone, she could be determined as hell and yet she was indecisive and unsure. Cloud had found her crying more than once alone and his heart simply shattered when he was faced with those tears. He wanted to protect her in a way he hadn’t felt before. Of course he felt protective over Squall too but that feeling was different from what he felt when he was thinking of Serah. Cloud ran his hands thru his hair observing the duo in front of him and ended up smiling despite the train of his thoughts.

After some painfully long consideration Serah finally ended up choosing mango as her flavor of the day and they could all order. While she stood waiting for the others, her frail fingers clutched the cone of ice cream carefully, her perfect rosy lips pouty as she was serious in trying not to mess her pretty white dress. She looked absolutely adorable like that and Cloud could only stifle an urge to hug her close to him and keep her there safe and sound forever.

“Why don’t we sit down there, on the bench right ahead there?” Cloud pointed at a lone bench a bit further in the park they had entered after all had received their respective treats; Cloud had lemon, Squall blueberry and Claire surprised them with wanting strawberry. Serah almost started to bolt towards it but Claire stopped her before any damage was done.

“Walk slowly.” Claire said sternly and Cloud marveled the effect she had on her little sister. Serah nodded once and walked carefully with Claire until they reached the bench and sat down.

“You know it’s pretty disgusting how perfect life is on a day like this.” Squall muttered under his breath to Cloud the ice cream disappearing into his mouth with slow licks. Cloud stared at the sight, almost missing the point of what Squall had said.

“Yeah, totally disgusting.” Cloud said, distracted and cocked one eyebrow biting his lip. He started to turn away from the enticing view next to him when he caught a small stream of ice cream dripping down Squalls long fingers. “Your fingers are getting dirty.” Cloud pointed out.

“Hm? So it seems.” Squall reached for his pocked with his free hand where he had stuffed paper just in case of something like this to happen when Cloud reached out suddenly and took the hand in his.

“Here.. let me.” Cloud leaned in closer to the hand that had been stained with the sticky substance and simply licked the skin carefully clean. He hadn’t really stopped to think what he was doing but when the red colour gushed over to Squalls cheeks Cloud realized just what he had done. He blinked once but didn’t let Squalls hand go. He knew he should feel embarrassed but somehow didn't really care much. There weren’t many people around at the moment and no one had noticed anyway. Except the girls on the bench, of course.

“You know you could just use paper for that.” It was Claire who spoke, Serah giggling next to her one hand covering her smile and her cheeks rosier than before. Cloud coughed and finally let go of Squall who just handed his ice cream to Cloud and cleaned the rest of the mess on his fingers with a paper he fished from his pockets.

“No need to be ashamed, it’s quite normal for people who have been together a long time to do things like that without thinking.” Squall said after a small moment of gathering his thoughts together and calming down a bit the flush on his cheeks still prominent despite his calm voice. He sat down next to Serah and ruffled the pink hair. “You don’t mind, do you?” He pointed the question at both of girls even if he was looking more at Claire. Cloud almost held his breath while waiting the answer. They had refrained from touching each other when they were in the same room with the two girls and the subject of what was comfortable for them to witness had never cropped up.

“I don’t mind!” Serah piped out, the ice cream decorating the edges of her mouth making her smile even more adorable.

“It’s not a problem. It would be unnatural if you tried to hide your love.” Claire finished her cone and then looked at the both men in turn her eyes softening. “It’s nice to be in a home where you can show your affection.” She almost smiled.

Cloud could feel his mouth hanging open. This certainly wasn’t what he had thought would come out of her mouth. This wasn’t what he had ever even hoped to hear. Squall was as stupefied as Cloud was and had fallen silent as well. What could you say after that? Thank you? Cloud racked his brains for a proper way to express what he was feeling at the moment; the relief, the happiness, the unexpected fondness towards that rigid being that was Claire.

“Thank you.” Cloud managed to utter in the end and gave her a smile that, he hoped, would transfer all the rest of his feelings to her. It wouldn’t be impossible to include the older girl after all to their weird little family and that made Cloud even more grateful that he was alive and had made the choices in his life which had led up to this moment.

 

**A year and a half later**

**Cloud**

It was raining hard outside, the sky a gloomy dark gray and the trees swayed sadly in the passing gusts of wind that blew the heavy raindrops to the windows. Cloud studied the view from the sitting room couch where he had lain down in the hope of reading a book but had found himself drawn to stare out of the window more than the pages. He thought how different things were now. He had had to grow up eventually from his petulant child manners and take a hold of his life. He had turned his whole life upside down after the accident and even before that the way had been laid before him quite clearly, even if he wasn’t so sure he had wanted to see it then. But he had, in the end.

Cloud shifted on the couch touching his lips thoughtfully. He had woken up before Squall and sneaked downstairs to have a moment for himself but he found he was missing his partner already. They weren’t very far from each other at the moment but even this small distance made Cloud feel slightly anxious. He considered going back up to bed and dozing beside Squall but decided against the idea as he knew the other was sound asleep and needed his rest. Squall had been stuck at work until past midnight and had crawled to bed only after 2am. Cloud had, as usual, woken up too early and the sleep had escaped him after he had opened his eyelids. Feeling no particular need to lay in bed doing nothing he had sneaked downstairs.

A sudden shower of rain peppered the window glass and Cloud sighed despite himself, feeling slightly elated. He _was_ happy. More than words could describe. He had it all; the house, the husband, the kids, the white fence.. What more could he ask for? He was happy even with the job he had. So sickeningly happy he almost grimaced. What a sap he had turned out to be after he had turned to better side of thirty. But, as they said the brains sort of cooled down after that age and the useless, taunting, melancholy thoughts of the universe crashing down on you had toned down to a more thoughtful state. Which Cloud did not mind at all, he was just glad all the teenage angst had been evaporated after so many years of anguish. Had he known this when he was younger he probably wouldn’t have believed it, but there it was; true.

A soft movement in the stairs alerted Cloud from his thoughts. A mass of wavy pink hair peered around the couch back and Cloud smiled gently at the drowsy face of his daughter. Earlier this year they had legalized the adoption of the two Farron girls who had ended up staying in their care. It had been Claire who had brought the subject up and that had been a huge mile stone. The adoption had finally been accepted in the court just last week and the Leonhart-Strife family had been more than giddy that day, although Serah had been the only one jumping around with joy. The rest three had been calmly smiling at each other but in their hearts rejoicing as wildly as Serah was.

“Did the rain wake you up?” Cloud asked softly, almost whispering as the house was so quiet at this hour and he didn’t want to startle her by raising his voice. Serah just nodded and walked around the couch and crawled over Cloud and parked her slender body in between Cloud body and the back of the couch. Cloud moved onto his side facing the now snoozing girl. Serah buried her face to Clouds white shirt and cuddled up almost like a cat, the mass of hair falling all over her face and shoulders. Cloud leaned down to press his face to the soft curls and smiled. He wrapped one arm around the girls’ body and hugged her close protectively.

Serah was already fifteen but she was unlike most of her age and had remained so pure at heart Squall and Cloud were worried sometimes she was a bit too naïve to cope in the real world. She wasn’t much like her older sister on the outside and was usually mild and good mannered youth even if she exploded sometimes with uncontrollable joy. But she was devious at times, using her big blue eyes and tears against his poor parents, and sister, to get what she wanted. She had her moments of being a pain but Cloud still loved her like she was his own flesh and blood.

Cloud mused as he stroked gently Serah hair, closing his eyes and letting his thoughts wander aimlessly. He wasn’t sure how often did children of this age come up to their parents and snuggle up to them but Cloud didn’t mind in the slightest. She smelled good, was tiny enough to fit in almost any crack and Cloud loved her so much this moment he was about to burst. He hugged her even closer to his chest and kissed the pink hair, idly thinking he should tell her to start braiding her hair for the night as it was a nightmare to get that long hair brushed in the morning.

A moment later Cloud startled as a second rustle of fabric caught his attention. He lifted his head enough to see who was leaning over to look at them and found Squall smiling softly at the sight. Cloud couldn’t help the grin that spread over his lips. Squall had his hair in such a state it reminded Cloud of birds nest more than anything else. The brunet was sleepy eyed and his t-shirt was rumpled from sleeping. So adorable.

“Scoot.” Squall mumbled and climbed onto the couch to sit in the corner and let Cloud rest his head on Squalls lap. Serah sniffled in her sleep when Cloud moved to lay his head on Squall but didn’t wake up.

“What woke you up?” Cloud asked quietly, closing his eyes when he felt Squall stroking his hair gently.

“It’s cold without you in there so I just followed the radiating warmth from here.” Squall yawned leaning his head to the back of the couch. “You know I can’t sleep very long after you get up.” Cloud could hear the smile in his voice.

“I’m sorry.” Cloud hugged Serah closer to his body and snuggled his head on Squalls lap. The fingers in his hair continued their stroking. Cloud was feeling warm and sleepy by now. The silence fell over them like a blanket with only the patter of rain echoing in the house. The morning wasn’t very far yet and Cloud allowed himself the moment of complete doing nothing. He inhaled deeply, the scent of sweetness entering his brains from Serahs hair and then exhaled releasing all his nonexistent worries. “I love you.” Cloud suddenly said. He didn’t exactly know why he had said that but there it was. In the end he didn’t _really_ need a reason for saying that.

“I know.” Squall said, his fingers putting some more pressure into his touch. Cloud relaxed his heart skipping a beat or two.

Eventually Cloud drifted to sleep listening to Serah breathing softly in his arms, the warmth of Squall under his head comforting and safe. The rain was tapping on the window, wind whistling thru the cracks and crevices of the house; everything was silent, gray and peaceful. His life made sense and he was content and happy. Unbelievable but true.

 

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ends my long droning about life and these two. Thank you anyone who managed to read until the end. Have some cookies and my eternal gratitude~ *bows*


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